Relinquishing the Past
by Lila
Summary: 3rd in a Trilogy. When a mysterious plague sweeps Midgar, AVALANCHE has no choice but to investigate. Of course, they don't count on a new enemy...or mind-shattering illusions..or Jenova returning. New Mini-Chapter! Two Turks talk.
1. Prologue

Hi guys! Its started, finally! Third in my lil' Reno/Aeris trilogy (Unusual couple, but hey, its called "originality") I highly recommend reading the first two books, (_The Flow of the Lifestream_ and _Sacrifices of the Heart_) or at least the second one. Anyways…new character is introduced…sorry about the lack of name, but that'll come in later…and without further ado (I always wanted to say that!), on to… 

Relinquishing the Past

Lila

Prologue

"Oh, breathe not his name! let it

Sleep in the shade,

Where cold and unhonored his relics are laid."

~Thomas Moore

"So this is all that's left," the young man observed. He was a callous-looking sort of person, with icy blue eyes and dull brown hair that fell into them. His face had a bored look to it, like he had seen too much of the world already for any more of it to interest him. But there was something else in those worldly blue eyes; something sly and shrewd and calculating. He knew what he wanted, how to get it, and had no qualms about getting it. That was the kind of person he was. 

Now he flicked his hair out of his eyes and turned to a subordinate, one of his guards, standing beside him. "And Hojo's dead?"

They were standing in the middle of a demolished laboratory. Machines, a lab table, and other equipment filled the room, but that wasn't what interested the man. He was interested solely in something else. 

The guard nodded. "Yes, sir. They found his body up in the junkyard. Someone shot him."

He pondered. Hojo had been important, but he could get by without him. Not an object for major concern. "Probably AVALANCHE. Dispose of it." He meant the body. 

The guard saluted. "At once, sir." He grabbed the rope hanging from above and scaled it.

He went back to what he was doing before; studying a clear vial filled with murky liquid. Submerged inside the liquid was the gruesome, decapitated head of an alien species: Jenova. 

"Fascinating," he said softly. "So much power and destruction…all attained with this?" He frowned. "But how do I wake it up? Hojo thought some sort of energy source would do it…" Hojo had also made it clear the energy source would have to be vast. Hojo was never wrong. But he had no materials whatsoever to work with, he had barely been able to get together this pathetic little team of followers…close a year, it had taken, just to get this far. How much longer would he have to wait?

His frown turned into a smile. No matter. He could wait, if need be. If he had nothing else, he had patience. A minor setback, nothing more. Things would work his way. They always had. 

It was then the guard returned. "Sir, the rest of the men said they found something."

He scowled in annoyance. He had posted the rest of his minor squad to guard him, not to be looking for buried treasure. "What is it?"

"I have it right here, sir." The uniformed man held out a small, perfectly round white crystal. "It looks like materia, but of a kind I've never seen before."

He grabbed it out of his underling's hand. "It couldn't be," he murmured, turning it over in his fingers. "Is it…the White Materia?"

The pure white of the orb flickered for a moment, changing to black, to white, to black again.

"What's it doing, sir?" The guard asked, forgetting his place.

"Reacting," he breathed. He glanced at the glass beaker that held Jenova's head and smiled mirthlessly. "This may be exactly what I need."

"Sir?"

"Where did you get this?!" he demanded. "Where did you find it?"

"By the helicopter wreck, sir. In the junkyard."

"Of course," he whispered. "The Ancient…" His grimace of a smile grew wider. "Here is my energy source." He stepped closer to the beaker and held the orb immediately in front of it. The materia flickered again, from white to black, and this time stayed black. Inside the tank, the head of Jenova shuddered. The wide open mouth twisted into a grotesque smile. 

The guard, scared out of his wits, back away, hitting the lab table. Then, with a cry of terror, he turned and ran down the demolished hallway.

The first man, however, stayed. He waited, his deep blue eyes triumphant.

There was a flash of brilliant white light. Then, high, cold, cruel laughter. 


	2. A Barfight and a Strange Encounter

Chapter 1-

A Barfight and a Strange Encounter

"Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time." 

~Unknown (But doesn't it sound like Reno to you?)

Tifa Lockheart finished wiping the bar counters with a gusty sigh. Sundays were always busy…perhaps because everybody realized they'd be back to work on Monday and wanted to inhale as much liquor as possible before the first business day of the week.

Ever since the _Premium Heart _had opened after Meteor was destroyed, it had received the same level of popularity as her first bar, due to its good food and drink. Although for some, just drink.

"Hey, Tifa! Send another shot down this way!"

She darted a glance at the speaker. The red-haired man waved a hand at her, motioning for her to hurry up.

"In a second, Reno!" she called. How that man could down so much alcohol and still remain relatively sober was beyond her. Beside him sat Rude, another frequent visitor to her bar.

The two men looked fairly normal, to any other person's eyes. But Tifa knew they were actually Turks- former agents of Shinra, Inc, the once-powerful multi-department company. Shinra employees were hated…some of them feared, as well. The Turks were among these.

Tifa quickly mixed the drink and slid it down to him. Reno sipped it appraisingly and, finding it satisfactory, turned to Rude.

"Did you hear?" he asked his friend. "They found some stuff down at the junkyard. A destroyed military base, wrecked helicopters, everything. Some punks must've roughed the place up." He looked at Rude piercingly, just to get the message across. Apparently some of his old training still stuck with him, and he wasn't about to mention aloud that they, along with AVALANCHE, had been the "punks" at the junkyard. He leaned close and whispered. "Even Hojo's body."

Rude grunted. "Wonder what they'll do with all the lab equipment."

"Hell, I don't know. _I'm_ busy wondering what they'll do with all the persecution options. I mean, it's pretty obvious there was a fight, and-"

He was interrupted by a glare from a drunk sitting by them. Reno stopped talking. "Yeah? You want something?"

The stranger studied him carefully. "Do I know you?"

Reno took a gulp of his drink. "Don't ask me."

"Wait a minute, wait a minute." The guy looked carefully at him, leaning so close Reno could smell the alcohol on his breath. "I swear I saw you before."

"Good for you," Reno sneered. He stood, grasping his fellow Turk's shoulder. "Let's go, Rude."

"Wait." The other man stood. "I know you."

"A lot of people do." He quickly turned and started for the door. The other man grabbed him by the arm, forcing him to stop.

"I know you," he repeated. "You used to work for Shinra. One of them punk-ass Turks."

"So what?" Reno's eyes narrowed and he slowly reached for his gun.

Other people nearby had stopped talking and were listening in. Tifa noticed with foreboding that the bar was gradually growing silent.

"You know what I heard," the man said slowly. "I heard it wasn't AVALANCHE that destroyed Sector 7."

"My, you learn fast," Reno said sarcastically. But the man went on.

"In fact, I heard it was the Turks." He paused. "I heard it was that drunken red-haired bastard of theirs."

Reno raised an eyebrow. "Apparently, variety isn't one of your qualities."

"Damn you, my wife and kids were in the that Sector!" the man shouted. With that, he took a wild swing at Reno.

Reno calmly blocked the punch with his forearm, while at the same time pinning the man's other arm to his side. Thus immobilizing his opponent's arms, he leaned very close and whispered.

"Yes, I may be a Turk. You think you're so smart, figuring that out. No, people know. They just have enough sense not to mess with me. Which makes you _very _stupid."

But the crazed man's only answer was to kick him in the kneecap. Reno dropped to the other knee in pain, dodging the other flying swing. In an instant he recovered and threw himself on top of the stranger, slamming him into the bar counter. There were gasps and a few screams from customers as they realized what was happening.

"Reno!" Tifa shouted above the noise. "No here! Take it outside!"

Ignoring her, the Turk yanked out his gun. He intended to use it only to scare the man, but the it just caused more of a commotion in the crowd. Tifa was trying to calm the crowd, but nothing was working. The confusion distracted Reno slightly, enough so his hold on he man loosened. Taking advantage of this, the man shoved him away enough to stand up straight. Eyes on Reno, one of his hands groped along the bar counter before coming up with a bottle. Liquid splashed on the counter and dripped onto the floor as the man smashed part of the bottle on the edge of the counter.

Brandishing the broken bottle like a weapon, he rushed at Reno. The Turk feigned to the side before shoving his shoulder into his opponent, knocking him over a table and several chairs. 

The man was struggling up when Rude appeared and brought his fist smashing down on his skull. He slumped and stayed down.

Reno looked at his partner in surprise. "What'd you do that for, Rude? I was just starting to enjoy-"

Tifa's raging voice interrupted him. "Would you _look _at this place! What have you done?!"

Reno looked. There were overturned tables and chairs, a few smashed bottles, and alcohol on the floor. The bar was empty except for a few interested spectators. 

"Lot of damage, for such a short fight," he observed. Tifa fixed him with a dark scowl.

"It's going to take me days to clean this up. Why'd you have to do that, Reno? Can't you stay out of fights for a while? At least in _my _bar?"

"Hey, I wasn't the one who started it!" he protested. "The guy recognized me!'

She stopped straightening the table and looked at him. "Recognized you?"

"As a Turk. In case you don't remember, we weren't exactly adored by the public."

"I'll bet," she murmured. She continued dragging the table to its rightful position. "Well, can't the two of you…disguise yourselves, or something?"

Reno looked indignant. "Never! What would you want us to do, dye our hair?" He glanced sidelong at Rude's bald head. "Or wear wigs?"

Tifa sighed. "Forget it. Just help me clean this up."

******Aeris bit her lip, frowning down at the flower she was watering. They lay on the ground, limp and unresponsive. 

She didn't understand it. They were growing just fine yesterday, full and beautiful. But now they were dying. Aeris had thought it was odd, but had been sure she could make them grow again. Now she had failed. Strange, though. It was as though there was some kind of outside force that was killing them.

She bent and packed the earth more tightly around the plants. She was concentrating, focusing on the flowers, when she felt a presence. She stood, brushing the dirt off her clothes, ready to greet the newcomer.

"May I help-"

Aeris broke off as she stared. A woman was there, a tall woman with long silky, black hair tat seemed almost unnaturally straight. Her cold, impassive face was so perfect it looked to be sculpted of marble. Her eyes were large and foreboding, but the strangest thing about them was their color. They were a dark purple, almost a murky black. One felt that these eyes could stare right through you, could know all your secrets with a glance. She wore a dark gown that matched her eyes exactly. 

The sheer authority of this woman alone almost made Aeris stumble backward, but she caught herself. As it was, she couldn't even speak. 

"I wish to know," the woman began. Like her appearance, her voice had a quality to it that instantly made you want to obey. Anything else would be unthinkable. 

"I wish to know,' she continued, "where I can find the Cetra/human, Aeris Gainsborough."

It was not a question, not even a demand. It was an order. Aeris could feel those strange eyes boring into her, and she felt sure the woman knew exactly who and what she was, but wanted to hear it from her. Aeris felt like running far away, away from this stranger and her strange eyes. But she couldn't. She was locked in place, and the words popped out before she was even aware she was speaking. 

"I am Aeris."

The woman gave a cold parody of a smile. "Ah, good." She held up a hand. The sunlight gleamed off the long fingernails, curved inward like a cat's claws. "Come with me, my dear."

Aeris stared at the hand, then up at the woman's face. Very slowly she began to back away. She wanted to turn and run, but she couldn't break her gaze from those eyes. 

"Now." More than an order, more than a command. This word held a threat.

"N-no…" Shaking with an unearthly terror, Aeris continued to back away. She had to escape, to hide from this horrible apparition, but she couldn't tear herself from those eyes. 

The woman's blood-red lips curled and she drew her hand back, whether to strike her or cast some sort of spell Aeris didn't know, because it was then she tripped over a rock, falling to the ground. The link broken, Aeris got to her feet and ran.


	3. Strange Happenings

Chapter 2-

Strange Happenings

"Your mind makes it real." ~Morphius, _The Matrix_

"That isn't right," Nanaki murmured, his tail swishing back and forth. "Not right at all." 

"No shit it ain't right," Cid Highwind growled as he puffed on a cigarette. "But I came to _you_ to see what you could make of it. Well?"

"Captain-" Shera began hesitantly, but was cut off as Cid rounded on her.

"Shut up! What have I @#$%^&* told you about calling me 'Captain'?!" he yelled. "The name's Cid!"

"Calm down, Cid," Nanaki said calmly. "Let's go back to the beginning."

The three of them were in the kitchen of Bugenhagen's house, or rather, Nanaki's home now. Apparently Cid had had some sort of problem, and now he and his chief mechanic, Shera, were seated at the table. Actually, only Shera was sitting. Cid was standing where he had jumped up agitation. He was angry because something had gone wrong. Nothing went wrong in Cid Highwind's life; that was why he had Shera, to make sure everything was kept running smoothly. Shera hadn't been doing her job. 

Cid swore and sat down again. He took a breath to steady his nerves and began.

"I was just cruising around in one of my newest airships, the Apocalypse. Shera was with me, in case something went wrong. Didn't really expect anything happen, though. She was handling beautifully."

By "she" Nanaki assumed Cid meant the ship, because he had that glassy, far-away look in his eyes he got whenever he mentioned one of his aircraft. Cid lived for flying machines. 

Then the pilot snapped back to attention." Then, this huge fireball-" He made a sweeping gesture with his cigarette to demonstrate. "-comes hurtling out of nowhere toward us. Now, if anyone could've outrun this thing it's me, but the was nothing I could do. The damn thing slammed into the bottom, right where the fuel tanks are kept! Then there's this huge explosion-" Cid waved his arms over his head. "-an' everything's smashed to smithereens. Every living thing is burned to a crisp, right? Well, five seconds later, I'm back in my pilot's seat, like nothing ever happened." Satisfied, the man leaned back in his chair and took a long drag on his cigarette. 

"Are you sure," Nanaki said slowly, "that this wasn't a hallucination of some kind?"

Cid looked ready to explode, but Shera hurried in before he could speak. 

"That's a good point, Red," she said, "but I was there too. I don't think we'd both have the same hallucination."

"There's something else, too," Cid interrupted. "As soon as I figured out I wasn't dead, I heard a laugh. A @#$%^&* freaky laugh."

"…freaky laugh," Nanaki muttered. He sighed. "I don't know about that, Cid, but something _does _seem strange with the Planet. Just the other day-"

Before he could go on, the door burst open and a man rushed in. It was Brian, one of the currant residents of Cosmo Canyon.

"Brian," Nanaki said in mingled surprise and concern. "What-"

"Nanaki, the Gi Tribe is attacking!" the other cried. "They're killing everything in sight!"

"_What?!" _Nanaki roared. Forgetting his guests, he bounded after Brian out the door. Cid and Shera looked at one another, then followed. 

The canyon was in devastation. Shops and buildings were on fire, raging out of control. Everywhere they looked people were battling strange, ghostly figures. Dead were already piled on the ground.

"What the hell-" Cid started to say, but stopped. Nanaki was looking both more angry and more saddened then Cid had ever seen him. He was crouched low, hackles raised. A low growl emitted from his throat.

"Red, what-" He was again cut off.

"My home. My responsibility. My home." Nanaki looked about wildly, the flames reflecting his good eye. Visions of past destruction flew through his mind…the last war in the Canyon, when the Gi attacked…Seto…his father… "What are they doing to my home?!"

"Relax, Red." Cid was clearly apprehensive about his friend. "We can take care of-"

"My name is Nanaki!" He uttered that sentence in such a fierce tone that Cid stepped back. Ignoring him and Shera, Nanaki leapt into the midst of the fighting, clawing and tearing in a frenzy.

"Come!" Brian called, motioning for them to help. He was just wading into the fight when an arrow struck his thigh. He fell on his side, groaning in pain. Cid and Shera hurried to his side.

"Captain, look!" Shera drew back in horror as the flesh around where the arrow had penetrated turned gray and hard, like stone. Brian gave a whimper of fright as he realized what was happening. 

"Don't…let…it," he whispered, but the stone spread quickly all over his body, his legs, his chest, his neck…

Here the stone stopped. Brian gave a soft laugh, or it may have been a sob. He looked at Cid with wide eyes.

"I see her," he said hoarsely. "She's…laughing. She's saying…"

"Saying what?" 

Brian's eyes were wide, and he looked to be having trouble breathing. Cid shook him, trying to keep him focused. "What's she saying?!"

"'AVALANCHE shall taste my vengeance'. That's all." He gave a short scream. "She's reaching out…don't let her touch me! Don't-" 

"What the hell?!" Cid demanded, but it was too late. Brian gave a shudder, and his head turned to stone.

"Captain, behind you!" Shera screamed. Cid whirled around to see a ghostly phantom of the Gi tribe rushing at him, wide, sucking mouth eager for his blood…

And then all three of them were back in Nanaki's kitchen. No fighting, no fires, nothing. Nothing.

Nanaki ran back and forth for a moment in obvious confusion, then relaxed a bit. He sat down and looked around, his muzzle whipping back and forth.

"What happened?" he asked.

"It was just like in the Apocalypse," Shera said. "First, vivid, violent action. Then…like nothing ever happened."

Cid was shaking his head. "Damn…" was all he would say.

Nanaki went to the door. "Brian!"

The man appeared. "You called, Nanaki?"

Nanaki studied him up and down. Brian appeared perfectly normal. "Did anything just happen?"

Brian looked confused. "Nothing out of the ordinary."

Nanaki looked at him long and hard, then nodded. "Very well. You may go."

Brian left, looking extremely perplexed.

"So it only affected us," the woman mechanic said thoughtfully.

"Ha! Told ya so," Cid crowed as he lit up another cigarette. "This is @#$%^&* messed up shit we're dealing with, here."

"'AVALANCHE shall taste my vengeance'," Shera said quietly. "Are Cloud and the others in danger?" 

In answer Cid grabbed his PHS. "It's time for a meeting."

******

Two deep blue eyes shot open. He sat up, a hand to his head.

He was still in the laboratory. He remembered giving Jenova the materia, a loud explosion…a triumphant laugh…

Then blackness.

The explosion must have knocked him back, he reasoned. His probing hand found a painful lump on the back of his head. Probably he had hit the lab table and lost consciousness for a few minutes.

He looked around the lab. Devastation was evident everywhere, nothing was in one piece. Everything had been destroyed by some unseen force. He hardly noticed all this, however. He looked about frantically, but to no avail. 

Jenova was gone.

He climbed to his feet, blue eyes staring into the darkness of the lab, as though he could simply _will_ his query to appear. But there was no denying it. Jenova had vanished.

He kicked a broken piece of equipment aside in frustration, then grasped the rope hanging from above. He had to get to the junkyard.

Knowing the layout of the huge place, he had had his men use explosives to blow a hole through the roof of the building, then extend a rope through the junkyard so high above. It was a long climb, but they hadn't had any other options.

He reached the top of the rope, into the junkyard. His men should be here, if the explosion hadn't scared them off. It was just dusk, and the gathering darkness made it difficult to see.

The junkyard appeared empty. He slowly stepped through it, listening. Not a sound except his own breathing. 

Then he tripped, sprawling to the ground on his hands and knees. He pushed his hair out of his eyes and turned back to see what had tripped him.

It was a body. The eyes were so wide with fright he could see the whites all around. The hands were frozen in front of the body in a defensive posture. The mouth was open in a silent scream of terror.

He frowned. He recognized the corpse of one of his men. He had brought all twenty with him. Not much of a force, but enough of one if he ran into trouble. 

He shoved the body aside and stood. His eyes finally penetrated the darkness, and he saw other bodies scattered around the junkyard. 

They were all dead. Every one of them. 

His icy eyes narrowed. He had known Jenova would destroy anything in its path, but he had been planning on negotiating with it before it got to his men. This was a dangerous being.

And still it was nowhere in sight. Where had it gone?

What would be the first thing Jenova would do once it had been freed?

Suddenly he knew.

Midgar. He had to get to Midgar.

******

Aeris stumbled through Sector 3, a little ashamed of herself for running away. After all, it had only been one woman, and she had defended herself against worse odds before…

But whenever she recalled the malicious ruthlessness in those penetrating eyes, the evil aura surrounding the mysterious person…no, creature, she knew she had done the right thing. There was no way she could fight that kind of wickedness.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice the bent old lady until she nearly walked into her. Aeris stepped back in surprise.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she apologized, helping the woman to her feet. "I wasn't-" She stopped short when she realized the woman's face was wet with tears. "Why, what's the matter?"

"Please, Miss," the woman begged, catching hold of Aeris' arm. "My granddaughter- she's dying. Won't you help her?"

Aeris looked at the wrinkled, tear-streaked face and couldn't refuse. She allowed herself to be led into a shallow side alley. She noticed with unease the hostile glares she received from people in the darker corners of the alley. She did not belong here; she was an outsider, and therefore an enemy. She pulled her shawl tighter around her shoulder.

The old woman stopped by a large dumpster and knelt by a pile of oily rags. Aeris knelt beside her and was surprised to see what vaguely resembled a child wrapped in the rags. At least, she thought it was a child. The face was so thin and pale, with such sunken cheeks and feverish, glassy eyes, she couldn't be sure. A fine sheen of sweat shone on the waxy skin, and the child herself looked too weak to even lift her head.

"Martha, dear," the woman whispered, smoothing the girls bangs back from her forehead. "How are you feeling?"

A low moan was all the girl could manage. Struck by the pitiful scene, Aeris leaned forward and put a hand on Martha's hot face. Immediately she could sense she was not doing well. The child would almost certainly die.

"Tell me about this sickness," she said to Martha's grandmother as she used the edge of her shawl to wipe the girl's hot face. "How did it happen?"

"It struck the slums a few days ago," the woman began. "No one knew how it happened; it just came. It was like a plague." She paused. "The strange thing, though, is the visions."

"Visions?"

"Before the fever strikes, every victim has a vision of some kind. They're all different, but they're all horrible. After someone has one, they usually end up screaming and crying. It's a terrible thing to watch." The woman's cracked lips trembled as she looked at the stick-like figure of Martha.

Aeris nodded quietly and picked up the girl's limp hand. She was surprised to see a blackened area of skin, almost like an insignia, on the back of her hand. "What's this? A birthmark?" It had a strange shape, she noted, like an hourglass. It stood out horribly on the child's white skin.

"No, not a birthmark," the woman said faintly. "It's…something that appears on the hand. It's the sign of the plague, see." Once again she hesitated. "Some say it's Death's own mark. I've got one too." She held out her wrinkled brown paw for Aeris to see. The red hourglass shape was easily discernible, even in the low light. "It's only red until the virus really sets in. Then it turns black. When it's black, you have only hours to live."

"I'm sorry," Aeris said quietly. "There's nothing I can do." She swallowed. "For either of you."

A wheeze from Martha startled both women.

"Grandma." Her voice was soft and muffled, as though choked with tears. "Grandma, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you have to take care of me. It's my fault, isn't it." The tears streamed from the girl's eyes. "It's my fault you're sick, too."

"No, child, it's not your fault." The elderly woman bent over Martha, tears coursing down her face as well. "It's not your fault."

Shaking her head, and close to tears herself, Aeris slowly backed out of the alley. 

She was thinking furiously. She had seen that symbol before.

The Sresla. 

A shattering wail interrupted her thoughts, scattering them to oblivion. The anguish in the scream grew in pitch, rising, to spill over in wracking sobs of heartbreak. Martha must have slipped away.

Aeris broke into a run. 


	4. The Virus

Chapter 3- The Virus

"Know thy enemy, know thyself."

~ I dunno where it's from, but I think I heard it somewhere, so we'll just go with "Unknown". Unless someone has an idea where I got it?

Reno and Rude had been cleaning the bar with Tifa when Aeris burst in, slamming the screen door nearly off its hinges. Tifa straightened to see who it was.

"Oh, hi Aeris…" She trailed off as she got a good look at her friend. "Aeris?"

"T-Tifa," Aeris faltered. "Something terrible-"

Tifa grasped the flower girl's shoulders, afraid she might fall over. "What? What's happened?"

It was then the PHS on the bar counter rang, startling all four of them. Sine he was closest, Reno picked it up.

"Yeah?"

"Where's Tifa?" The voice on the other line was male, curt, and gruff. Reno grinned in recognition. 

"Actually, this _is_ Tifa," he said, making an attempt to change his voice to match the bartenders- almost, anyway. "Something just…crawled down my throat and died-"

"It doesn't sound dead to me!" Cid yelled.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Tifa snapped as she snatched the PHS. "Hello? Oh- Cid…what?" Her expression changed to a perplexed frown as she sank into a chair. "Cid, don't you think you're overreacting…all right, don't lose your temper, I just think-"

"Tifa?" Aeris came and stood by her. "Please, may I talk with him?"

"Why?"

"Please, Tifa." Aeris' green eyes were full of urgency. "I need to check with something."

Tifa shrugged and handed her the PHS. 

"Cid?" Aeris spoke into the mouthpiece. "It's Aeris. Listen; check the back of your left hand. Right now. Have Shera and Red do it too. Do you see anything strange?" She waited, listening, then gave a sigh of relief. "That's good, at least." She listened again. "Yes, I think that would be best. As soon as possible, all right?" She pressed a button and placed the PHS on the counter, then sat still a moment, lost in thought.

"Would someone kindly tell me what's happening?" Elena said, breaking the silence. "I mean, all of a sudden Aeris comes running in here, acting like she's seen Sephiroth rise from the dead or something; Cid calls, and the both of you have weird conversations, and-"

"WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?!" Reno interrupted. He smirked and gave a nod of satisfaction directed at Elena. "That's how you get the job done."

Tifa folded her arms and leaned against the bar counter. "Aeris?"

Aeris clasped her hands and looked down at them. "We are in very serious trouble."

"Kinda figured that was comin'," Reno muttered. Aeris glanced at him and went on.

"I told Cid to call everyone and tell them to get over here."

"Why?" Tifa asked. "What happened?"

Aeris unclasped her hands and looked at the four people gathered around her. "I have reason to believe Jenova has returned."

******

Some time later, everyone was gathered in the small bar. Barret had brought Marlene, and now she and Adine, the child Tifa had more or less adopted, were sitting quietly together on the floor. Many of the hurriedly gathered members of AVALANCHE were perplexed, and perhaps a little annoyed at the interruption in their daily lives. But all had agreed to come, readily or not, upon hearing the seriousness of the situation. Now that they were all gathered, Aeris was called on for an explanation.

"The Sresla," Aeris began, "is a symbol. It's shaped like an hourglass, and is always on the back of the left hand. Usually, when it first appears, it's red, the red of blood. It is a very serious thing, if you have this mark on your hand."

"Why's that?" Elena was leaning against the wall, one eyebrow raised in a skeptical fashion. She didn't really disbelieve the Cetra, but had trouble accepting the fact that an ancient evil had reawakened and was now loose in Midgar.

Aeris' green eyes turned onto the Turk's own brown ones. "Because it means you are going to die."

"But what does the Sresla itself mean?" Cloud asked from his seat at a table. 

Aeris looked once at Tifa, then at the two children sitting silently next to each other, listening. Taking the hint, Tifa clapped her hands.

"Okay, girls! Why don't you go upstairs to play?" 

Obediently the two kids turned and trotted up the staircase. Aeris nodded, gave Tifa a slight smile, then turned back to Cloud to answer.

"It's a mark of claim. Once Jenova has found a way to penetrate your mind, she will then have power over your inner self. She takes all the evil in a person's soul, and magnifies it to such an extent that the person grows so disgusted and hateful of himself that he loses the will to live. When that happens, the Sresla turns black and the fever sets in. Because it is a weakness of the spirit, and not the body, there is no cure. It's a horrible way to die; in such pain you can't bear it, but at the same time certain you deserve it." Aeris' eyes slid closed. "That is how the Cetra perished."

"Aeris," Zack said hesitantly. He was sitting by Cloud at the table, feeling a little lost and out of place. "How do you know all this?"

"My mother has taught me of these things all my life," she said simply. "I've know them since I was young."

"Oh." Then, even more hesitantly: "But, I thought your mother…was…"

"I still speak with her, Zack." 

Zack stared. He had thought he knew Aeris, knew her better than anyone else. He had thought she hadn't changed.

But something about her had. It was a subtle change, certainly, but one that made all the difference. He couldn't quite fathom why, but she seemed a stranger now, so different from the young woman he had once known.

"And you think this virus is loose in Midgar?" Vincent asked quietly from where he stood in the corner. 

"I know it is."

"Why?"

Aeris took a breath and explained what had happened with Martha and her grandmother. She closed her eyes on remembering Martha's pitiful remorse.

"She was just a child," she whispered. "The Sresla couldn't find any evil in her to draw upon. So it created its own, latching onto her own worried fear of getting sick. And when that fear came true, it filled her with so much guilt that it had even more to feed on. Then, her grandmother got sick. If I had to guess, I'd say that's when it turned black."

"But how do you know it's Jenova that's causing all this?" Nanaki wanted to know. "There could be another explanation." He sounded alarmed. She didn't blame him, she would rather believe anything, almost, than this cold truth.

Aeris paused. "I know because I saw her earlier today."

Several members of the group jumped to their feet at this.

"What happened?" Cloud demanded.

Aeris shook her head. "She…wanted me to go with her. I knew she was evil, that I should run away, but I couldn't resist. It was terrible." She cast her eyes downward. "A lucky chance was all that saved me."

"Does this mean there's no defense against her?" Cloud wondered aloud. Reno, however, had another thought.

"Why does she want you?" he asked, looking at her sideways.

Aeris studied her hands. "I'm an Ancient. Jenova wants to eliminate the Ancients. Because I am the last…" She trailed off.

"Jenova will go to any length to destroy you," Reno finished for her. He gave a mirthless smirk and folded his arms, leaning back against the wall. "You're playing right into her hands."

"Why do you say that?"

"Look, she wants to get you, right? She isn't starting up this virus for fun, at least, not for fun alone. She wants to get you angry enough to come looking for her. Angry people make mistakes."

"Aeris ain't the only thing she's after," Cid pointed out. He quickly recounted the events at Cosmo Canyon, concluding with the mysterious threat. "So I guess she's pretty pissed at us, too. Maybe she wants to get rid of us all in nice, easy sweep."

"You're thinking too much like a human," Aeris reprimanded gently. "That's not the way Jenova thinks. She's up to something different, now." She paused a moment, looking troubled. Then her expression hardened. "I know you all think she's expecting it, and you're probably right. But…" She looked around at each of them: Zack and Cloud, sitting quietly at the table. Yuffie, eager for action. The two mechanics; Cid, who just wanted an excuse to fly his new airship; Shera, looking worried. Tifa, serious; Vincent, absently unloading and reloading his gun. Barret, who just wanted to protect his daughter from the world. Nanaki, who was so wise and yet still had so much to learn. And lastly, the Turks. Each of them were expressionless. But something leaked through each of their eyes; Elena, excitement; Rude, apprehensive but ready; and Reno…who knew what Reno was thinking? He seemed half unconcerned with this fight, half eager. She caught something in his face that she had seen before- a look of reckless bloodlust, a readiness to kill. He noticed her looking at him and grinned, the look fading.

"Can't take your eyes off me, huh? Most girls are like that."

Elena snorted.

Aeris sighed. "You guys, this is serious. Innocent people are dying while we hide out here. An entire race was destroyed with this virus. It could wipe out Midgar in weeks." She looked at them solemnly. "This isn't something that can be fought. This isn't something that can be reasoned with. There is no defense against this. Don't you see? The only thing we can do is find the source, and destroy it. That's why Jenova must be killed. Not for our sake, but for the sake of the Planet, and the people living in it."

"Saving the Planet," Barret muttered. "Sounds kinda familiar." He grinned suddenly, "What the hell! Guess this train hasn't reached its last stop yet!" 

"I think what Barret means," Cloud amended, "is that we're in."

"Me, too!" Zack said. "I've had enough of Jenova in my life. It's time to even the score." He smiled dangerously.

"I'll come, too," Shera said hesitantly. At this, Cid exploded. 

"Like _hell_ you are! You don't know the first thing about fighting, or anything else! And-"

"Would you get far without me?" she interrupted smoothly. "We're taking the Apocalypse, aren't we? You can't run it by yourself, Cid. You need my help. And, besides- I have to be there to make sure you don't crash it or something."

Cid gaped, speechless at this uncharacteristic streak of backbone in his mechanic. Shera smiled in the silence. 

"So it's settled, then."

Cid burst into laughter, shaking his head without a word. Meanwhile, the other looked to the Turks. Reno lifted an eyebrow questioningly and glanced at Rude and Elena.

"What do they expect us to say? No?"

Taking this to mean "yes", Aeris smiled. "Thanks, everyone." 


	5. The Hunter and the Hunted

Chapter 4-

The Hunter and the Hunted

"panic rises

grabs me by the throat

tightens its grip

won't let

me go

till I scream."

~_After Midnight_, Stop Pretending, Sonya Sones

Dispite the ominous thunder rumbling outside that night, Reno arrived back at his apartment in a good mood. He tossed his coat onto the back of a chair, grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and was making his way into the living room when he stopped dead.

He felt a presence. 

The beer slipped from his fingers, landing on the carpet with a small thud, spilling frothy liquid everywhere. He ignored it and pressed up against the wall. He yanked his gun from its holster and listened. Nothing.

Slowly he inched forward, scanning the room. It didn't look like it had been disturbed- newspapers and magazines still strewn across the floor, the little structure he'd made of empty beer cans one boring evening was untouched, a sock was in its usual place thrown over a lampshade. Everything looked just the way he had left it.

Maybe he had just imagined it. He was slowly lowering his gun when he heard something behind him. With a yell, he whirled around before seeing who it was. Annoyance replaced surprised anger. 

"Oh. It's you again."

"Your skills aren't as sharp as they used to be, Turk." The man was tall, as tall as Reno, but much stockier. He had shoulder-length, stringy dirt-brown hair that fell into his shrewd hazel eyes. The whiskery face was split in an amiable smile, showing crooked yellow teeth.

Reno lowered his gun a little more, but didn't put it away. "Whaddya want now, Darryn?"

Darryn's smile widened, and he strolled over to the armchair and sat. "You know what I want."

"I already told you I don't know a damn thing about it!" Reno snarled. "Do I need to jackhammer that into your thick skull?"

Darryn didn't lose his smooth composure. "It only makes sense you would have some idea. Scarlet and Heidegger are dead, and yes, I've heard about what happened at the junkyard with Hojo. Palmer disappeared after Shinra fell; no one's heard a thing about him, or cared. That makes you and your fellow Turks the highest living entities of Shinra." Darryn leaned forward, losing some of his slick smile. An intense madness was visible swimming in his hazel eyes. If Reno was easily intimidated, he would have pulled back, but as it was he made sure his gun was easily accessible.

"Now," Darryn continued. "You know something, I know you do. And I want to hear it."

Reno jumped to his feet, fuming. "Rufus Shinra is dead! Dead! I was there after that explosion; not a damn thing could've survived. Every living, breathing thing in that building was incinerated. I will say this one more time: Shinra was killed by that blast. I don't care what you think, or want to think, but I know for a fact he is dead."

Darryn's face twisted into an ugly scowl. He reached out a meaty fist and grabbed Reno by the collar, bringing his face close to his. 

"_I _know for a fact he's still alive," he whispered. "Unlike you, if you keep playing this game."

His breath stank. "Let. Go. Of. Me," Reno growled. Darryn obeyed, shoving him back. Reno stumbled and caught himself. Seemingly bored, Darryn turned and sat back in the armchair.

Not about to let this guy think he had all the power, Reno leaned back against the wall, folding his arms. Cockily he shoved his gun back in its holster. "What makes you so sure he survived?"

Darryn gave him a crooked grin, as though he had been waiting for this. "Sightings. Reports. I know my business, Reno, just like you know yours. He's been seen, and it's not easy to mistake him for someone else; his picture's everywhere. Trust me, he's out there."

Reno trusted Darryn about as far as he could throw a truck, but nonetheless had to humor hum. This guy was dangerous. "What the most recent 'sighting'?"

"Okay, so it was about a month ago," Darryn admitted. "In Junon. We suspect he may have changed his appearance since then."

Thunder rumbled, sounding closer, as Reno sighed. "I still don't see why you're bringing me into this. I mean, if you want to hunt down some dead guy, well, that's fine with me, but don't waste my time. It's your obsession, not mine."

Darryn's eyes flashed fire. "Obsession?!" he screamed, the veins in his neck bulging out. "That goddamned bastard ruined my life! He took everything away from me! Everything! And all you can say is 'obsession'?!" He calmed suddenly, going cold. "I would do anything to have him in my possession." He seemed to be looking at nothing. "To hear his gurgling attempts to scream as I slit his throat."

"That's nice," Reno yawned, "but the fact remains, he's already dead." 

Darryn's eyes narrowed. "Quit playing games with me, Turk. You will not enjoy it if I lose my patience."

Rain pelted the glass of his window. "Look." Tired and bored, Reno ran a hand through his hair. "I've already explained this once. If I knew a damn thing, I would've told you earlier just so you'd get the hell out of my apartment. But I don't. So you can just get the hell out anyway."

Again Darryn lost his temper. In one quick movement he had slammed Reno against the wall, pinning his arms to his sides. The Turk struggled fiercely, but the bigger man was too powerful. He felt cold metal pressing against his forehead- a gun.

"You lying son of a bitch," Darryn whispered. "I could blow your head off right now. You have no reason to hide what I want to know. You know something. Tell me."

Reno honestly did not know a thing, but he knew Darryn was too insane to believe that. He also knew was perfectly capable of killing him, and would, unless he heard what he wanted to hear. The guy was a cunning bastard, but he was also crazy. That made for a major weakness.

"All right," he made himself say. "Shinra's alive. Just let me go, and I'll tell you everything."

There was a clicking sound as Darryn made sure the safety catch was off, then let him go. "Okay. But no funny stuff. I'm watching you, Turk." Dispite his tough exterior, Darryn was clearly excited. His voice almost trembled.

Reno smiled inwardly. The guy's own obsession was his fatal flaw.

"Okay."' He held up his hands in a gesture of surrender. "I'll talk. Just don't shoot."

"So, talk." Darryn's hazel eyes watched his every move. "Where is he now?"

"Right here in Midgar. Here, I'll write down his address." Reno prided himself on his ability to lie smoothly; it was one trait he had full control over.

He went to the counter and laboriously wrote the name Rufus Shinra over the first sector that came to mind (Sector 3), then wrote a random street address. Darryn came over to lean on the counter beside him.

"'Dipshit Avenue'?" he read aloud. "There's no 'Dipshit Avenue' in Sector-"

Pivoting suddenly on his heel, Reno brought up the pen and slammed it into Darryn's hand, right through the tender webbing between his index finger and thumb. Darryn let out a yell and stumbled backward, clutching his bleeding hand.

That was all the time Reno needed. Quickly he kicked Darryn in the side, spilling the already unbalanced man to the floor. He darted to the window. Rain drummed against the glass, making it hard to see anything, let alone the pavement ten feet below.

"Dammit!" bellowed Darryn as he struggled to his feet. "Don't try to run this time, Turk!"

It was then there was a clash of thunder, and promptly the lights went out. The room went pitch black.

Reno didn't wait to see what Darryn would do. Grabbing a small footstool he knew to be close by, he hefted it and slammed it into the window, sending glass shattering everywhere. Over the noise, he could heard Darryn stumbling toward him. 

Quickly Reno brushed away the extra pieces of glass, then leaped out of the window, his shoes making a wet _thwack!_ as they hit the pavement.

Loud gunshots sounded from the apartment above, followed by a loud oath. Darryn stuck his head out the window, searching for some sign of Reno, but it was too dark to see a thing.

"I'll find you, Reno!" he yelled to the blackness. "You can't hide from me!"

Reno turned and walked away, hands shoved deep in his pockets, head bowed in the pouring rain.

Darryn was the leader of a street gang that called themselves The Hunters. It was an underground organization determined to find the former president of Shinra. And it wasn't because they wanted to thank him for all he'd done. Reno didn't know why, but the Hunters simply refused to accept the fact that he was dead. He guessed it was because they had been lied to so many times already by the Shinra, and now wouldn't know the truth when they heard it.

Sensible? No. Sane? Oh, no. Dangerous? Yes. His first few encounters with Darryn had resulted in more than one skirmish. Darryn was not one to be toyed with.

But neither was Reno.

He scowled to himself. He wouldn't be able to go back to his apartment now. But at least he wouldn't have to deal with that crazed nut anymore.

But where would the Hunters' leader turn next for information?

__

That makes you and your fellow Turks the highest living entities of Shinra. 

Rude. Elena.

He quickened his pace. He needed to contact them. Now. 

******

He had been jogging at a quick trot for some time before realizing he had reached Sector 5. He cheered up on recalling this was the sector Aeris lived in and sped up. With any luck, she'd let him use her PHS to contact Rude and Elena.

The pitch blackness prevented him from seeing a single thing, and he was sure he crushed more than one flower as he stumbled up the path to her front door. Thunder crashed again as he pounded with his fist on the rain-slicked door.

There was no answer. He knocked again, more urgently.

Maybe she wasn't home. But that didn't make sense. Unless…

He smacked himself in the face with a moan of frustration. Of course. Aeris wouldn't come back to her home, not after the incident with Jenova. She was probably spending the night at the _Premium Heart_. 

He slammed the door again, this time in frustration. He was in no mood to run all the way to Sector 8 through the storm. Which was what he was going to have to do.

He was muttering a vicious curse when the door suddenly opened a crack. Aeris' green eyes peered out.

"Reno? Is that you?" The door opened a little wider. "Do you know what time it is?"

"No idea," he muttered glumly. She stepped out and took his arm.

:What are you doing her this late? And it's pouring out!" She started when she felt him tremble with cold. "You 're shivering! Hurry up, get inside."

She led him in. Apparently the power was still out, because the only light came from a flickering lantern in Aeris' hand.

"What happened, Reno? You're not even wearing a coat!"

"No time," he got out, fully aware his teeth were chattering. She set the lantern on the table and sat him down in a chair. She told him to take off his wet boots and left the room a moment.

He knelt to undo the laces, but his fingers were too shaky to do the job. When Aeris returned with a wool blanket, she shook her head and knelt to do the task for him. 

"Are you going to explain why you showed up on my doorstep at 2:30 AM?" she asked without looking up. 

"A…a run-in with some thugs," he said offhandedly. "Came to my apartment." He didn't see any reason why she needed to know more than that.

She peered up at him as she tugged off the boot, green eyes scrutinizing, as though she knew he wasn't telling her the whole truth. He forced himself to hold her gaze until she pursed her lips and went to work on the other boot.

"Hmph. You always did have a knack for getting into trouble." She gave his boot a hard yank, pulling it off. "There." She straightened and handed him the blanket. "I'll get some hot tea." 

"No, thanks," he said, drawing the blanket around his shoulders. "But I could use a PHS. I need to make a call." 

She looked confused, but went and got it for him. Since PHS didn't depend on electricity, but rather on its own power, it would work despite the storm. Quickly he punched in Rude's number and listened to the rings. After a few moments he switched it off in disgust.

"No answer?"

He nodded. "I'll try Elena." He dialed her number, waited, then spoke. 

"Elena, it's Reno. If you can hear me, get out of there. I don't have time to explain, but if anyone shows up, don't answer the door. I know you'll think this is stupid, but-"

There was a beep, then an electronic voice. "Thank you for your message. For more options, please press-"

Reno hung up. "Damn!" He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. 

Aeris smoothed her dress before sitting at the table, across from him. "What's so important, anyway?"

Instead of answering, he raised an eyebrow. The way she smoothed her dress had caught his attention. "You're still dressed."

She looked confused. "What do you mean?"

He waved a hand impatiently. "Were you planning on sleeping in your clothes?"

"Oh." It was hard to tell in the flickering light, but he thought she looked embarrassed. "I, I guess I wasn't very sleepy…"

He folded his arms and looked at her appraisingly. "You're afraid. Of Jenova."

She nodded, not meeting his eyes. "I told myself I wasn't, so I came back here. But…I didn't want to sleep. Not with that…thing…out there."

"That wants you dead," he observed casually. 

Aeris didn't reply right away. She stood and went to the window, watching the storm rage through the night. When she spoke, it was in such a low voice he could scarcely hear.

"I've been hunted all my life. The day Mother and I escaped the lab was the day I became a fugitive. My heritage has haunted me for as long as I can remember." She still did not turn. 

"I always wanted to be like other people, not to have to watch shadows for fear of a man in a blue uniform waiting for me." Her eyes flickered to him for a moment, then back out the window. "But it's different, now. I always knew I could handle a Turk. Shinra employee or not, he was just a man. I can fight a man."

She sighed. "I can't fight a threat like this. It's…the waiting. The vulnerability that scares me."

"The fact that you're helpless."

She started when she heard him so close. She hadn't even heard him come to stand beside her at the window.

"Yes," she whispered. "You understand."

Reno placed a hand on her shoulder, drawing her away from the window. She allowed him to lead her away before collapsing in one of the chairs. A little concerned, he wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. She accepted the comforting warmth without comment. 

"Well," he said thoughtfully, "you did mention earlier that you thought we had a chance of hunting her down."

Aeris pulled the blanket tighter around herself, as though trying to shroud herself from the evil she knew to be out there. "Chance? What chance? We're the ones who are going to be hunted down, Reno. This creature destroyed my entire race, and they were more powerful than I can ever hope to be. It's hopeless."

He startled her by slamming his clenched fist on the table so hard the vase of flowers rattled. The light from the lantern flickered wildly, throwing dancing shadows on the walls. Aeris reached out with both hands to steady it. 

"Don't ever say that." Reno's voice was strained and angry, as well as…pained? Was that pain in his voice. "Thinking like that is what gets you killed. It's one thing to be helpless. Another to be hopeless."

"I don't see any difference." Though she feared making his angry, she was less than calm, herself, now. 

She felt his eyes on her, even though she couldn't see them. When he spoke, he didn't sound angry. More perplexed. 

"Aeris, how can you say that? You're the one who showed me how important hope is in the first place."

Quite suddenly, she felt like crying.

Instead she buried her head in her arms on the table. "I apologize," she whispered. "I'm just tired, that's all. Of course we'll find a way."

Reno said nothing, just watched her. He rested the chin in his fist as he thought, safe from the Hunters searching the streets, like black phantoms of the night.

****

I have a flair for the dramatic, don't I? Hey! 2 chapters in less than 24 hours?! What's WRONG with me? Weird.

This, I think, is my fave chapter so far. *Wow, something happens!* Casey, I know you're reading this, and YES, you are an obbssessive compulsive Rufus fan, but also, you may be right about something…

Ah, who am I kidding. Everyone's already guessed.

~Lila

PS- Reviews, pleze? 


	6. The Crazy Man

****

Hey guys! Sorry I haven't posted in a while, but I had lost my inspiration. Now it's back! Flee for your lives! 

~Lila

PS- This next chapter has a certain slightly bloody scene. Pleze bear in mind this is rated PG-13 for violence as _well_ as cursing. 

Chapter 5-

The Crazy Man

"The sirens are screaming and the fires are howling

Way down in the valley tonight

There's a man in the shadows with a gun in his eye and a blade shining oh so bright

There's evil in the air and there's thunder in the sky

And a killer's on the bloodshot streets…"

~Meatloaf, _Bat out of Hell_

"Why me?" Cid grumped as he clenched his cigarette tight between his teeth, leaving his arms free so he could cross them angrily over his chest. "Why do I have to do it?"

"Because," Cloud explained patiently for what had to be the tenth time, "there are too many places to places to cover for us to handle them one at a time. It makes much more sense to split up."

"That still doesn't explain why I have to do it," the pilot growled from around the cigarette. He disliked leaving Cloud, convinced the "Dumb-ass kid doesn't even know how to take care of himself."

He referred, of course, to the last time he had been separated from the main party, along with Barret, Yuffie and Nanaki. They had been captured by the enemy and fitted with iron collars that controlled their movements whenever the enemy wished it. Unaware of the collars' powers, they had rejoined Cloud, only to turn on him when they finally confronted Hojo.

It was not a fond memory for Cid. Or Cloud either, for that matter. But it wasn't really Cloud's fault. True, it had been he who decided to ignore the obvious danger of the laboratory, the knowledge that he was being manipulated, allowing Hojo to capture him. Still, Cid and the others had also ignored the collars, thus enabling Hojo to control them. The end result had been disastrous, and sheer chance had been all that saved them. 

It wasn't Cloud Cid blamed, but himself.

Cloud smiled warmly. "Aw, come on, Cid. I've heard you make a pretty good leader."

The older man scowled. He hated being looked upon the leader every time Cloud wasn't available. Sure, sometimes it was fun, but more often hard work.

Cid stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Bein' a leader doesn't come natural to me," he muttered. "Too many @#$%^&* decisions." 

"But being a pilot does," Cloud countered. "That's all I'm asking you to do: Pilot that airship. We need to know if other places have this same virus." When Cid didn't look fully convinced, he added, "Would you rather me send someone else to fly the Apocalypse?" 

Cid let out a rueful groan. "All right, Cloud, you got me." He wasn't about to let anyone else fly his precious airship, and they both knew it. "I'll do it."

Cloud nodded and looked to the others. They are all gathered at Tifa's bar once again. It reminded him of the old days, when AVALANCHE only consisted of him, Tifa and Barret, as well as the deceased Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie.

So much had happened since then. It was unbelievable.

Yuffie was looking impatient. "Okay, now that you've cowed Cid into submission, what about the rest of us?"

Cloud glanced to Aeris. "Aeris and I talked it over. We think it would be best to try the place where we first saw Jenova."

"The Shinra building?" Elena asked. "What do you think you can find there? That place is a dump, now."

Cloud shrugged. "You never know. There may be some clue as to what to do next."

It was beginning to dawn on everyone the enormity of this task. Everyone started talking at once- Elena with vehement protests that it was a stupid idea; Tifa retaliating that it was a good start; Reno wondering aloud how long this would take; Yuffie adding excited input that no one paid any attention to…

Cloud held up a hand. "But not everyone's going."

Silence. Then Yuffie asked the obvious: "Why not?"

He jerked a thumb at Cid, who had just been beginning to doze off. "What if Cid gets into trouble? We'll send a party with him, and take one with us to the Shinra building."

"What?!" Cid squawked, dropping his cigarette. "I never agreed to anyone coming with me!"

"Furthermore, you're taking Shera," Cloud said, indicating the woman sitting quietly. "As she pointed out earlier, you need her to run the airship."

Cid let out a long string of profanity before saying, "She's useless! She can't fight, or do anything else worth a damn. I'd be better off with someone else."

"In that case," Cloud said thoughtfully, rubbing his chin, you'll have to take the Turks, too."

Cid, Reno and Elena each let out a startled: "What?!" Rude just looked on quietly, like he always did.

"As well as Vincent, Barret, and Yuffie," Cloud added. When Barret and Yuffie each let out loud exclamations of their own, Cloud's look hardened. 

"Listen, we don't need a whole circus stampeding into the abandoned Shinra building. It would attract too much attention. Besides, we only have one building to search, Cid's got continents. You guys'll probably have a lot more excitement than us."

Yuffie and Barret each looked appeased. Vincent, Reno, Rude and Elena didn't seem to care anymore. Perhaps, Cloud reflected, because they were Turks, used to following disagreeable orders.

"After checking the Shinra building," he said aloud, turning to Tifa, Aeris, Zack and Nanaki, "we'll meet Cid's group in Nibelheim. I want to go there, too." He didn't mention how it would feel; returning to that Shinra mockery of his and Tifa's hometown. The important thing was Nibelheim was the starting point. Where it had all began. "You okay with that, Cid?"

"Fine." Cid stood abruptly. "Let me get a few things ready. My group leaves in an hour."

******

Darryn stood in the demolished laboratory in Junon, accompanied by several of his men. They were out combing the rest of the building now, but he didn't need them. He was more interested in learning the story of what had happened here. 

He turned to their guide, a young, slight woman by the name of Gwen. She was young, probably only nineteen or twenty years old, with short blond hair and blue eyes. She didn't look like the kind of girl who would know every back alley in Junon, but Darryn had learned not to judge people by their appearances. 

"Tell me again what happened here."

She pushed her glasses further up her nose before speaking. He could tell she was nervous, stranded in an underground lab with a dangerous-looking man. She hadn't wanted the job of leading the Hunters to this place, but was more worried about what they would do to her if she _didn't _take it.

"Actually, I was out of town at the time," she admitted. "But, when I read about it in the paper, it seemed pretty basic. Apparently there was a big gunfight up in the junkyard." She was talking about the junkyard above them, with a well-hidden tunnel that led down to the lab. "Stuff like that happens all the time in Junon." She shrugged.

"Go on." Darryn rested the tips of his fingers lightly on the hilt of the dagger at his waist. It was a fine-looking dagger, with a gleaming wood handle. Wrought silver snakes curved lengthwise along the hilt, with mouths wide open at the base of the blade, as though trying to swallow it whole. Gwen began to talk a little faster.

"Well a friend tipped me off that an actual body was discovered here…and what's more, he was the Shinra scientist!" Her light blue eyes gleamed. "You know, the one that had been supposedly killed by AVALANCHE?"

"Keep talking." Darryn caressed the hilt of the dagger, tracing the snakes' silver bodies with his finger. "We don't have all day." 

Gwen edged away from him to lean on the lab table. "After hearing about that, I came to investigate. And I discovered this lab. I didn't actually come down here at first, but I saw it from up there." She pointed up to the ceiling, above which was the exit that led to the junkyard.

"Get to the point." His fingers drummed lightly on the dagger's handle. "What about the explosion a few days ago?"

"Right." Gwen moved away to a corner of the room. There, the floor was littered with shattered glass. She picked a piece up between her thumb and forefinger, studying it. "After the explosion, more bodies were found in the junkyard." She shivered a little. "I was the one who found them."

"And?"

"I came down here for the first time, that day. The floor looked like it had been soaked in some kind of liquid, and there was this glass all over the floor, like something had broken." She dropped the piece she was holding. "It looked to me lie someone had come along and started messing with things."

Darryn locked his disturbing hazel eyes on hers. "What do you think happened?"

"Darryn!"

He turned to see one of his Hunters. "_What?!_" His venomous tone hinted it had better be important.

The Hunter hauled a bedraggled man in a soldier's uniform before Darryn. "We found this miserable piece of shit wanderin' around. Figured you oughtta know about it."

Darryn scowled. "An' you can't handle one guy by yourself?"

"Yeah, sure we can. But this guy…he's crazy."

Darryn's lip curled further. "All right, I'll let it go this time. Now get outta my sight."

The Hunter hurried away.

Darryn leaned down for a closer inspection of the man. The guard was fairly young, perhaps in his mid-thirties, with black hair and dark, serious brown eyes, the kind many girls swooned over. But no girls would be swooning over this man now. He was talking quickly and incoherently while running a hand through his hair and twitching uncontrollably. Judging by the black stubble on his dirty face, Darryn judged he had to have been down here a few days at least.

"What's yer name?" he snapped. 

The soldier barked out a harsh laugh, as though the question had been a sick joke. "My name? No, no, can't tell you that. _It_ might be listening, you know." He laughed again, a wild laugh that continued until…

Darryn pressed his dagger against the man's throat. "Let's try that again. I said, what's yer name?"

The solder swallowed nervously, his prominent Adam's Apple bobbing up and down. His eyes darted back and forth. "Well…there may be some who used to call me…" He leaned forward, as though sharing a big secret. "Jerry!" Jerry smiled craftily upon divulging this.

Unimpressed, Darryn took the dagger away from the soldier's throat. "Okay, Jerry. How'd you end up here?"

Jerry laughed again. "Here? I've always been here!"

"Since…?" Darryn prompted.

"Since the boss got blown to bits!" Jerry waved his arms in the air. "BOOM!"

Gwen leaned forward, intently studying the soldier. "You mean there was an explosion?" 

Jerry nodded, apparently enjoying himself. "A big Ka-BLAMMO, that's what it was!"

"And this 'boss---'" Darryn said, drawing the word out unpleasantly. "Who was he?" 

Jerry got a wily, superior expression on his face. "Oh, I could tell you. You wouldn't believe me, though. No one ever believes in ol' Jerry!" He smiled crookedly. "They got what they deserved, though. _It_ got 'em, got 'em good. Dijja see 'em? All bloody, and…"

"Try me." Darryn gritted his teeth impatiently.

The soldier pondered. "Well…all right." He grinned, baring his teeth. "Gave us an odd name, he did. Sufur or Suffer or something like that. But there were those of us who…" Jerry began laughing hysterically, not even able to finish.

"Who _what_?" Darryn grated.

"Who…" More laughter. "Who…thought he was…Rufus Shinra!"

Darryn's eyes flashed. He pressed the blade of the dagger against Jerry's throat, causing a thin line of blood to well up, flowing freely down the soldier's neck. Jerry stopped laughing abruptly as Darryn spoke in a low, dangerous voice.

"What did you say?"

Jerry didn't answer right away. His fingers touched the blood on his throat. He stared at them in fascination, at the way the red liquid stained his hands. He looked up at Darryn, looking for the first time perfectly sane.

"That's right," he said, slowly and deliberately. "Rufus Shinra. Former President of Shinra, Inc. He's alive." His eyes lost their momentary sanity as he grinned. "He'll kill us all, one day! He and that _thing_!" 

Darryn slit the man's throat.

Gwen let out a scream while Jerry twitched and jerked spastically. Darryn held him up by the hair, smiling cruelly as more blood spilled out over the steel dagger, coloring it a dull red. When Jerry finally stopped moving, Darryn dropped the body and turned to the horrified Gwen. She had seen too much.

Gwen tried to run, but it was too late. He caught her and plunged the dagger into her flesh as she screamed anew.

****

Kay, that chapter was not to scare you, or gross you out, it was to make you hate Darryn with a passion. Did it work? (^^) C'mon, tell me what you think! The plot's just beginning to heat up a bit!

~Lila

PS- Jerry was the guy in the VERY beginning of the story, who ran away when Jenova woke up. Remember? No? Oh, drat.


	7. Mysterious Stranger

I dedicate this chapter to Casey Crystal with all my heart

I dedicate this chapter to Casey Crystal with all my heart. ;)

Chapter 6:

Mysterious Stranger

"All cruelty springs from hard-heartedness and weakness."

~Seneca

He pushed on the front door of the abandoned Shinra building. It creaked as it opened, then slammed shut behind him, sending clouds of dust billowing through the still air. His footsteps echoed as he stepped though the main entrance, sounding thunderous in the oppressive silence. Although it was unlikely he would find his quarry here, he hadn't been able to resist returning to this place, to this shattered remnant of his glorious past.

The elevator door stuck as he waited for it to open. Impatient, he slammed a gloved fist into the door, nodding in satisfaction when it obligingly slid ajar. He stepped inside and pushed the red button marked with a white "70". With slow and jerky movements, the elevator began to rise. 

It had all been his. The whole of Midgar, no, the world, had been at his feet. The mere mention of his name had made grown men quake at the knees, lest he find fault with them. Millions feared him. 

The elevator door opened he walked out. Fear. He loved the sound of that word, the power it accommodated. The fact that with a mere flick of his finger, he could have anything he desired. Kill anyone he desired.

He'd had it all. Then, because of a spare twist of fate, he'd lost it all.

__

Hurtling toward him…

Had it all.

_Ball of flame, destruction…_

What had he done to deserve this?

_Burning…_

Only trample thousands of lives beneath his feet.

_Pain…_

It hadn't mattered; they were only ignorant.

_Terror…_

…Only ignorant? 

He snapped out of his reverie. He'd survived, that was the important thing. And now…

The desk loomed before him, the large oak desk he'd known since childhood. Old Man had always sat at it, working on files, talking on the phone, or just looking important. He had always longed for the day when _he _could sit at that desk, look down at people that way, too. 

Father had never let him. "You're too little," or, "This is the President's chair." 

One day, when he was five years old, he had come up here on his own, just to look at the desk. Father had been out. It had been just him and the desk. Cautiously, he'd sat in the chair. It felt too good to be true. He, a lowly nobody, was sitting in Daddy's chair, the President's chair! Happily he swung in the swiveling chair, around and around and-

Then the door had burst open. Father had been furious. Fifty lashes with the belt, and "be thankful it isn't more. Now get out of my sight, you miserable brat!"

How he hated that man.

Now he sat again in the chair, running his hands over the bloodstained wood of the desk. Even after Old Man had been killed, he still wouldn't let the workers move the desk. He enjoyed looking at the crimson-soaked oak, knowing what had happened here. 

"Isn't it ironic, Father?" he asked aloud. "I'm sitting in the very same chair you died in!" He began to laugh, long and loud, slamming the desktop with mirth. Just the knowledge that he was alive and here, while his father writhed in his grave, was too much. He slammed the desk so hard the wood splintered and dug into his hand, sending new red droplets to splatter onto the wood alongside his father's. 

******

Tifa grasped Zack's hand as he helped her over the last of the rubble. She stood, brushing her hair out of her eyes and moving out of the way so Aeris could clamber up. Cloud and Nanaki were already waiting some distance away. 

They had reached the Shinra building via the same route she, Barret and Cloud had taken before. The climb wasn't as hard as she remembered. Or maybe she had just gotten stronger over the past year.

_In more than one way, _she mused to herself. The whole terrifying ordeal of Meteor, Sephiroth, Aeris' death and revival and rescuing Marlene had taught her more than she needed to know about hardships. 

She could have gotten out of it, she supposed. How often she had considered the possibility of just quitting! Just shout out: "Forget it! I'm not doing it anymore!" 

She had gotten so much older, so much more mature, since she left Midgar that first time. Now here she was, back yet again, bent on saving the Planet. Things had changed. Would she go back, if she had the choice? Would she go back to her ignorant life in the slums?

She glanced over at Cloud and smiled. She had always felt affection for him, but it wasn't until recently she truly respected him for the person he was. Not for the world would she go back. 

Once had safely cleared the rubble, Zack turned and squinted at the Shinra building, leaning on his Buster Sword. "You think this moldy old building will help us?" he asked. "I'm starting to think Elena was right."

"This 'moldy old building' was once the headquarters of the most powerful corporation in the world," Aeris admonished him. Zack raised one eyebrow and reappraised the building. 

"Hm. Well, I guess it'll have to prove its worth to me inside." With that, he hefted the Buster Sword and started toward the entrance. With a rueful smile, Aeris followed, Nanaki trailing some distance behind.

Tifa looked at Cloud. "You know, if Barret was here, he'd make some remark about the stairs." They both remembered the last time they had infiltrated the Shinra building and taken a side entrance, forcing them to climb several stairways. Barret had not enjoyed it.

Cloud chuckled. "At least now we can just walk right in." 

"HEY!" Zack called from ahead. "Are you two lovebirds coming or not?"

Tifa felt her cheeks flushed. Cloud simply rolled his eyes. "Come on."

Aeris gave a reassuring smile when she saw Tifa, whispering, "Don't mind Zack. He's always that way." Tifa's flush only deepened. Were her feelings that obvious?

Cloud placed both hands on the door. "It may take a minute to open, since it's been so…" He trailed off the door swung open easily. "….long."

Zack snickered. Aeris looked a bit concerned. "Should that have happened?"

Cloud shrugged. "Maybe more people visit this place than we thought." He looked back at the wire they'd had to climb. "Of course, it's kind of hard to get up here…"

There was a moment of silence, during which Zack shrugged good-naturedly. 

"No matter. C'mon, I want to see this place." He strode into the building, followed by Cloud, Nanaki, and lastly Tifa. She had a sudden uneasy feeling about this place.

Inside, nearly everything was covered with dust. Aeris sneezed.   
"I'd forgotten how big this place is," she said. "Shall we split up?"

Cloud pondered, then nodded. "Yeah. Me, Red and Aeris'll take the lab. Tifa and Zack, you guys take the top floor, where President Shinra was killed. Those are the only floors likely to have any value. Be careful."

Tifa shook off her uneasy feeling. "Yeah. You guys, too." 

She couldn't help but wonder why Cloud wanted to be with Aeris.

__

Stop it, she told herself. _You're being silly. The 'lovebirds' remark got to him, that's all._

By this time they had reached the elevator. Cloud pressed the button, and the door opened. 

"I'm surprised this place still has power," Aeris remarked. "After all, it ran on Mako energy, didn't it?"

The elevator slammed shut with a loud _bing! _And began to rise. 

"I don't know," Cloud said. "But we don't have time to debate it. Let's just check this place and get to Nibelheim. After all, Cid's got the airship and we're on foot."

No one said anything after that. The door opened and Nanaki, Cloud, and Aeris walked out. 

Zack made small talk as the elevator rose slowly to the top floor. Tifa made suitable noises; "Mm…", "Uh-huh," "Yeah." The truth was, she wasn't paying very much attention.

The door finally slid open on the 69th floor. Tifa led the way out, then turned to face Zack.

"We have to climb the stairs to get to the next floor…" She trailed off as she noticed what he was doing. "What wrong?"

Zack was crouched on the floor, one hands splayed out to support his weight. The other was tracing the patterns of the dust in the floor before him.

"Zack?"

He didn't answer. Tifa came to kneel beside him and saw what he saw what he saw: The imprint of a booted foot that showed up clearly in the thick layer of dust. 

Zack's blue eyes were cold as steel. "Someone's been here."

Tifa shook her head. "That's no cause for concern. Maybe people come here often-" Zack cut her off with a shake of his head.

"No way. Look at the contrast between the footprint and the surrounding area. It's recent. Someone's been here, all right." He looked at her piercingly. "Maybe still is."

Tifa bit her lip, not liking this one bit. "Should we come back later?"

Zack shrugged. "Don't see any reason why we should. Come on." He stood up and waited for her to take the lead.

Tifa climbed the stairs to the following floor with rising apprehension. She didn't want to see what was beyond the stairs…

Then she saw.

A figure was hunched over the President's desk; whether resting or simply contemplating she didn't know. Tifa's first impression was sympathy; this person was filled with fatigue, such weary suffering, that he had hardened by the world. A rose, left to the elements of wind and storm, stripped of its petals and gentle fragrance. What was left was harder than rock.

Then he stood, turned to face her, and the thought vanished.

He wasn't that all, at least, it wasn't his height that gave him such imposing authority. It was something else about him; his air, his very demeanor seemed to insist upon obedience. Anything else would be unthinkable. 

He wore baggy tan pants and a dark green turtleneck, almost painfully clean. Brown hair, neatly combed. More curious, though, was a dark red pendant he wore on a chain around his throat. It drew the eye almost irresistibly.

And his face…

Tifa caught a fleeting glimpse of blue eyes, stormy blue, like a hurricane at sea. But that was all she caught. Whenever she tried to focus on another part of his face, that red pendant swam into her vision, leaving her with a very foggy idea of what he looked like.

She was concentrating, trying to figure this out, when he spoke. 

"You must be that one from AVALANCHE." He crossed over in front of the desk so as to get a better look at her. 'What was you name? Lockheart, wasn't it?"

His voice, too, had a familiar quality she couldn't quite place, making her all the more uneasy. It wasn't that he knew her name; AVALANCHE and its members were well-known. She felt she had heard this man speak before, using that same clear, authoritative tone. 

"Yes, that was it. Tifa Lockheart." He gave a nod of satisfaction. 

Beside her, Zack crossed his arms. Tifa hadn't even noticed her was there until now. "And you are?" He sounded wary, if not outright suspicious. Tifa could tell he didn't trust this man either. 

"Call me Sufur." The man languidly leaned back against the desk.

"What are you doing here?" Zack demanded, not bothering to hide the threat in his voice. Sufur gave them both a cursory glance. 

"I could ask you two the same question."

"Look, wise guy," Zack began angrily, but Tifa cut him off.

"Do you know anything about Jenova?" she asked, moving between the two men. "You see, there's a sickness in the city…" She trailed off as Sufur looked at her sharply.

"Jenova? It's here?" He moved closer to her, ignoring Zack's warning glare. "Have you seen it?"

Tifa took an involuntary step backward. "Just evidence that it's here." She felt confused and irritated. She couldn't even get a clear picture of what this guy looked like, and here he was making demands. She looked to Zack for help.

Zack nodded. "Okay, well, if you can't help us, we'll be going now." He and Tifa started toward the exit.

"Wait!"

They turned. "What?" Zack said.

Sufur flicker some hair out of his eyes. The gesture was so familiar it made Tifa blink. For just one second, she could have _sworn_ she'd seen him somewhere before…

"If I accompany you…will I find Jenova?"

Zack started. "Are you suggesting coming with us?"

Sufur shrugged, a cold half-smile creeping across his face. "It would make sense. Jenova us supposed to be an all-powerful being, correct? No matter which of us finds it first, better to face it together."

Zack darted a glance at Tifa. She stood stoically, thinking, for almost a minute. At last she spoke, reluctantly, it seemed.

"I guess we'll make sense. We'll talk to Cloud about it." She jerked her head to the door, indicating Sufur leave first. He did so with a shrug and a small smile. As he left, Zack turned to Tifa, sounding incredulous.

"You don't trust him, do you?"

Tifa stared him in the eye. "Zangan, my teacher, used to have a saying. 'Better to keep trouble on a close rein than let it walk around loose.' If I know anything, that man is Trouble. I would almost rather face Sephiroth again than turn my back on him." So saying, she tuned and followed Sufur. 

I'm so original, aren't I? R-U-F-U-S, and S-U-F-U-R! What can I say, I'm bad at names. And I thought Sufur would suffice. BY the way, I am WELL aware that Rufus' hair is not brown. I decided he dyed it (Yes, I know! A crime!) because his regular color would be too tell-tale. Sorry I was so late with this chapter. I'll get better, I promise! Oh, by the way, all those nice people that have been reviewing? I'm giving them a BIG hug! *****turns toward reviewers, only to find they are running away screaming* Oh well. Well, if YOU want a big hug, you know what you hafta do! That's right! Dye your hair red and pretend your Reno!

~Lila


	8. The Bodies

Chapter 7-

Chapter 7-

The Bodies

"Woe to the hand that shed this costly blood."

~William Shakespeare

Cid swore softly at the sight that greeted his eyes. Behind him, he could hear Barret suck in his breath sharply. Elena turned away, looking like she might be sick.

They had entered Junon to find the city in turmoil. When Cid's party asked questions about the sickness, the answers were sharp and dismissive. People had bigger worries on their minds. Hearing something about "another incident in the junkyard", Cid had decided to take a look in the lab. Now he was sorry he had. 

Two bloody carcasses were on the floor of the lab. Once they might have been human, he wasn't sure. And anyway he wasn't about to get close enough to tell.

Reno stepped out from behind him. Apparently such squeamish views didn't bother him. He knelt by the closest body. On closer inspection, Cid could see it had been a young woman, perhaps twenty or so. He thought he might throw up. 

"Disemboweled," Reno reported quietly. "Slashed twice across the stomach, once across the throat."

"And they still weren't dead?" It looked to Cid they had been hacked apart, there were so many stabs.

Reno shook his head grimly. "Yes, they were. They'd be dead with the first throat slash. Looks more like whoever did this was…enjoying himself."

Cid put a hand on the laboratory table to support himself. Behind him, he heard a low whine, the kind that was made in the back of the throat, rising in pitch before becoming an all-out wail. He turned to see it was Yuffie, her face deathly pale.

"Get that kid out of here!" he hissed to Elena. The Turk nodded and, putting an arm around the unresisting Yuffie, led her back up the rope.

Nobody moved. Cid was thinking about how glad he was he'd left Shera back in the airship (along with Marlene and Adine) when Reno spoke. 

"This was no accident."

"You think?!" Cid snapped, still trying to maintain some control over himself.

Reno's calm eyes flickered to him once, then he continued as though he hadn't been interrupted at all. "Let's reassess the situation. Almost a week ago, we found this place and put it outta action, blowing it out in the open in the process. Stories are all over the news, but no one really knows anything.

"Then, there's news of an explosion- or so we hear. No one knows anything about that, either. 

"And now, two dead bodies, obviously not killed in self-defense. Isn't this place getting kinda popular?"

Reno folded his arms and waited for a response. Cid was so angry he just wanted to slug the Turk right there. The callous way he spoke of the two murdered people pissed him off. Reno was right, of course- there was something strange about the whole scenario. 

_But then, what hasn't turned strange since the _Tiny Bronco _was shot into the water? _Cid thought bitterly. _Ever since that spiky-haired kid walked into my kitchen, nothin's been normal. _

Steeling himself, he walked over to stand beside Reno in front of the bodies. "What do you think they were doin' here?" he asked reluctantly. He doubted Reno had the slightest idea. 

As the red-head opened his mouth, however, Vincent surprised everyone by speaking.

"Perhaps they were looking for something."

"Like what?" Rude asked him.

"I don't know." The dark man shrugged. "But I can't think of another reason they would be here. Other than, of course, simple curiosity."

"Either way, it got 'em killed," Cid muttered to himself. Absently he fingered the Venus Gospel, thinking about what he would do to the killer if they ran into him.

"Just so you know,' Reno said sullenly, interrupting his dark thoughts, "That w_as_ what I was going to suggest. Looking for something. My reasoning exactly." 

"Shut up!" Cid snapped. He did not find Reno's antics amusing. Not now. Not with two murdered human beings at his feet.

Reno's eyes narrowed as he regarded the pilot's strained composure. "What's the matter, Cid? Never seen a pair of hacked up corpses-"

"Who did this?" Cid demanded, resisting the urge to run the spear through the red-haired bastard. "Why?"

Reno shrugged. "Don't look at me. I wasn't here."

Cid looked down again at the two lifeless bodies. The woman's glasses were knocked askew, her face frozen in a silent expression of terror. One arm was thrown out in front of her, as though to ward off her opponent. The other hand was clenched, held close to her body. Looking at her, Cid suddenly saw Shera there in front of him, Shera lying in a pool of her own blood. His jaw dropped in horror and he blinked- only to see it was a complete stranger there in front of him. Blond hair, younger, smaller.

"Hey, Cid!" The voice was Barret's. "You awright?"

He shook his head, deciding he was getting old. His mind was playing tricks on him. 

"What about this other guy?" he said abruptly, moving around the lab table to get a better look at him. Death had frozen a kind of grim smile on the man's face, as though he knew something others didn't.

_Or maybe cuz he knows his fate is better than others, _Cid thought, thinking of the Sresla and all they'd heard of it. _Maybe he had the easy way out. _

"He's in some kind of uniform." Elena said, having, unnoticed by Cid, returned. "I don't recognize it, though." She looked to Reno, but he could only shake his head.

"I don't either. Maybe he's not from around here?"

"Or maybe he's part of some new organization." Rude's deep baritone echoed the thoughts of most of the others. 

"We should search them."

No one had really expected Vincent to say anything else, and heads turned toward him. The former Turk looked back at them calmly. 

Then Elena nodded and stepped out of the way to let Vincent get to the bodies. Systematically, Vincent, Reno, Rude and Elena began to search the two bodies, pawing through the personals of the dead. 

Seeing this, Cid was suddenly very aware of the fact that he was with four experienced killers- people who had sold their values, what beliefs they may had possessed…for what? For a fat paycheck?

No, it wasn't just the money, he decided, though he had seen what it could drive a man to do. No, there was something else about the "Turks" organization, something that made the loathsome job somehow alluring, though few would admit it.

Power. The look of fear in people's eyes, the intoxicating sense that screamed: _I _have control over your lives! _I _decide whether you live or die! 

But that wasn't true, not quite. _Shinra _held the power. It was up to the company to decide who lived and who died. The Turks just did the dirty work. 

_And now I have to depend on three very smart Turks, _he thought. (Vincent he wasn't worried about) _They're all alright bunch, I guess._ True, Elena was a chatterbox, Reno was too sarcastic, and Rude's perpetual silence infuriated the _hell _out of him, but he come to respect and even like the three of them. Same for Vincent. Truth to tell, he admired the dark man, especially his devotion to Lucrecia. The very _thought_ of openly expressing affection made Cid shudder; he couldn't imagine sleeping in a coffin for years for the unrequited love of anyone. 

"Cid!" It was Barret. "Look at this."

Cid looked but didn't see the big man at first, Barret being halfway-crouched on the other side of the lab table. "What the hell do you think you're doin' there?" he demanded crankily, walking over to join him. Barret was holding something in his large hand.

"Lookit this," he said, holding the sparkling object up to the light. "What does it look like to you?"

Cid shrugged, uninterested. "So it's a piece of glass. Big @#$%^&* whoop."

Barret held his gaze. "Where d'you think it came from? An' why's it scattered all over the floor?"

Piqued by now, Cid looked and saw Barret was right. In this one area, thick shards of glass literally covered the floor, glittering among the dust and grime. Wondering where the source was, Cid looked up…

And stopped. 

"SHIT" he yelled, so loudly even the Turks looked up. Cid ignored them, so furious he didn't trust himself to say anything other than profanity.

"Shit, shit, shit!" He mumbled to himself over and over. "Goddammit!" 

"What is it?" Barret demanded, slightly alarmed. "What's wrong?"

Cid threw his cigarette to the ground and stomped on it with a vengeance. Immediately lighting up another, he waved an irritable arm at Barret. "Don't you get it? You've been here before! You know where this glass comes from!"

"It coulda come from anything, Cid," Barret countered, frustrated and thoroughly puzzled. "What-"

"@#$%!" Cid exploded, ripping the cigarette from his mouth. Then the experienced smoker inhaled a lungful of his own smoke and doubled over, hacking furiously. Barret waited impatiently until Cid got some breath back.

"Jenova," was all the pilot could get out between coughs (other than more cursing). Barret's eyes widened as he let out a soft curse of his own. 

"Damn! You're right," the big man said, after a moment's reflection. "So this is how it happened. It coming loose, I mean."

"No shit!" Cid snapped. Then, hearing Reno give a vicious oath that surprised even him, whirled around. 

Reno and the other Turks had been searching the bodies without much hope of finding anything. The search was standard Turk procedure, strict routine. 

Elena and Rude, neither wanting to work with cold, silent Vincent, had wisely moved off, sifting through the man's pockets. Reno, therefore, was forced to search the woman with Vincent. 

They worked silently, neither having anything to say. Reno had actually been fairly startled when Vincent spoke.

"She's holding something in her hand."

Reno followed the ex-Turk's gaze to the woman's clenched fist held close to her heart. Now that he thought about it, the position looked a pretty unnatural one to die in.

__

Something Vampy must've noticed right away, he realized. _So that's why he wanted to search 'em. _

He grabbed the girl's hand and almost instantly dropped it. The feel of it was cold, limp. Dead. 

Setting his jaw, he pried open the fingers that had stiffened in death. It was a crumbled piece of paper.

The fate of all who stand in the way of the Hunters 

It was then Reno let out the oath. 

****** *

"Wait, wait, wait," Cid said, holding up a hand. "Let me get this straight. These guys are convinced Rufus Shinra's still alive and are trying to find him to kill him?"

Not a smile, not the slightest hint of a smirk touched Reno's lips. _He _didn't find it that amusing. Of course, that was mainly due to the small fact that Darryn had tried to kill him. "Yes."

Cid, apparently, thought it was hilarious. He bowed his head, shoulders quivering with suppressed mirth. Reno obviously didn't find it funny and the pilot was making a valiant effort not to burst out laughing.

The effort was wasted on Reno, however, who had been in a black mood ever since finding the note. They were out of the lab now, having a short meeting in the Operation Room in the _Apocalypse. _

"If you ask me, they're retarded," Yuffie snarled, in a foul mood as well. Seeing the bodies had shaken her, and she was ashamed of not being able to handle herself. She made up for it by being as loud and as obstreperous as possible. 

Reno gave Elena a piercing look. "Did you ever get my message?"

She looked perplexed. "What message?"

"Dammit, Elena, you should check your answering machine more often!" he snapped, then shut his mouth. Yelling at Elena might vent his feelings, but it certainly wouldn't help their situation. 

"Well, I'm sorry," she sniffed, not sounding sorry at all. "What was so important, anyway?"

He sighed. "Darryn paid me a little 'visit' last night. I barely got out alive."

"He's that good?" Vincent's eyebrows were raised just a bit. "I should think a Turk ought to be capable of handling a lone man."

Reno flushed, scowling. "I was off guard. Anyway, I thought he might go after you, Elena, or Rude next, but I guess I was wrong. I guess," he said, his mind back on the note, "he came here."

"Wonder why?" Barret muttered, not that interested. He was half in the conversation, half keeping a watchful eye on Marlene.

Reno shrugged. "He mentioned something about Shinra being spotted last in Junon, or something like that."

"I wonder what it was about that poor girl and the man that made it essential to eliminate them?" Shera said thoughtfully, quietly, as though wary of breaking into the conversation. "Maybe they knew something?"

Suddenly remembering the odd vision he'd had in the lab- of the dead girl being Shera- Cid was unexpectedly and inexplicably angry with her. As was his habit, he lashed out.

"Shut up! Keep your damn fool mouth shut! When I want your opinion, which will probably be never, I'll ask for it! Who wanted you along anyway? All you are is dead weight!" 

Shocked at this outburst, Shera could do nothing except stare at Cid for several moments. Then she got up without a word, and left the room. 

The strained silence went on for almost a minute before Vincent broke it. "That wasn't necessary, Cid."

Slowly Cid sat back down, then rested his aching head in his hands. He couldn't believe how tense he was. "I know," he murmured, then stopped, not having any excuse. "I know," he repeated softly.

Air. He needed some air. This damn Operation Room was suffocating him. He stood up again.

"I'm going to lift off," he said, going to the door. "We ought to be going, anyways."

N one said anything after Cid left. Then, Yuffie announced what they were all thinking.

"We're toast," she said grimly. "Burnt toast."

****

Yep, I finally got another one done. Um….reviews would be much appreciated. My e-mail is [**Turkgal200@aol.com**][1]** (hey, most of you know it anyway, I think, considering its on my profile) if anyone cares. (Yes, I'm lonely) I'm in the midst of a very enjoyable vacation, which is probably why I actually got another chap finished. I shall continue to enjoy it! Bye!**

~Lila

   [1]: mailto:Turkgal200@aol.com



	9. Hojo's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 8-

Chapter 8-

Hojo's Dirty Little Secret

"The mere apprehension of a coming evil has put many in a situation of the utmost danger."

~Lucan

"It's so quiet," Aeris whispered, not wanting to speak aloud in what was left of the Shinra lab. She stuck close by Cloud and Nanaki, wishing, not for the first time, that the others were here. She wasn't too worried about running into trouble; she knew they could handle it. What bothered her was the silence. The waiting.

__

The feeling that you're helpless. 

Reno's words came back to her, shaking her with a mental jolt. She had been surprised at how caring he'd seemed that night. How…humane…he'd seemed. But now she understood. Reno had dealt with many hardships since childhood. Part of him was a good man, kind and so compassionate. The other part…

She shuddered. The other part…_didn't_ care. She remembered back in the _Premium Heart _how his face had looked and sighed. She'd seen Reno in many faces, but what she feared more even than his lust for killing was the way he had of writing people off. She'd seen him eager to kill, to drown his hatred and sorrow in blood, and it always shook her badly. But when he had that bored, uninterested look on his face… That was what really scared her. At least when he was angry he was feeling something.

For a while she'd even wondered if the man _could _feel. But as she'd gotten to know Reno, she saw: That wasn't it. He feared being hurt so much he just completely cut off his feelings. And every time she saw that. Aeris feared he wouldn't come back to being the warm, kind man she'd caught glimpses of. Sometimes it was almost like an awful kind of choice- lose him to the terrible rush of mad bloodlust, or lose him to the cold, unfeeling pillar of ice.

"Aeris? Are you listening?"

She snapped back to reality with a start. Both of her companions had gotten ahead of her. Cloud leaned against one of the bleeping computers, grinning at her.

"Daydreaming?"

She smiled back, albeit faintly. "I guess." She frowned suddenly, the computer he leaned against catching her attention. She walked over, gently pushed him out of the way, and studied the computer consel, biting her lip. 

"Cloud. This place has power."

He shrugged. "I don't see what you're so worried about, Aeris. It could be something simple. Maybe it's just…auxiliary power, or something. I mean-"

"For this long?" Aeris interrupted. "No back-up source would last for a year, Cloud! Something feels wrong about this whole situation."

Cloud was silent a moment. "Well, what do you think is going on?"

"I don't know," she replied, turning back to the computer, "but I can try to find out." Hesitantly she touched a flashing red button. Immediately the screen filled with the oversized Shinra logo.

"'Welcome to Shinra, Inc.'s Science Department.'" Aeris read aloud from the text box. There was an option that said 'Log In", but she didn't see a mouse. Then she knew. A touch-screen. She tapped the words icon.

"'Please enter your username and password.'" She looked to Cloud. "Any ideas?"

He joined her at the computer consel, studying it with a practiced eye. "Well…Tifa's better at this stuff than me, but I can give it a try." He began typing furiously, muttering to himself while Aeris waited apprehensively. At last Cloud slammed the monitor in frustration.

"Damn! It's no use." He slammed it again for good measure. "The system's way too advanced. I can't hack into it."

"Well, if the two of you are finished-" Nanaki, who ha been trying very hard to be patient with the two humans, had had enough. Just then, an idea struck Aeris.

"Wait!" Swiftly she touched the screen on the small yellow icon that said "HELP". The screen changed to a help menu.

"Now we're getting somewhere!" Cloud exclaimed, rubbing his hands together. "What can we do?"

There was a list of topics to choose from. Aeris touched the one that said "Shinra HQ" and promptly received a virtual tour of the Shinra building. 

"We don't have time to read all this," she muttered, scanning the information sidebar. "Ah!" She touched another icon and smiled. This was what she wanted.

"A map showing the layout of the entire building?" Cloud said. "Excellent!"

It was a detailed map, showing every floor with yellow dots depicting entrances/exits and red dots depicting elevators. Aeris touched their floor and watched as the map enlarged to show the lab.

"Isn't there supposed to be an arrow that says 'You Are Here'?" Cloud asked, only half-joking. Aeris rolled her eyes and pointed to a corner of the screen. "We're there," she said. "This is the rest of the lab…hey!" She glanced at the wall to the right of them, then back to the computer screen. "According to the map, there's supposed to be a door there." 

"A door?" Cloud followed her gaze, then looked back, confused. "There's nothing there but a blank wall."

"Exactly!" Aeris walked over to the wall and knocked on it, listening intently. She turned to Cloud triumphantly. "It's hollow."

"No way." Cloud ran his hands over it, feeling for some kind of crack to betray a door. Finding none, he shrugged and walked back to the computer screen. "This is the right spot, all right. The computer's gotta be wrong. There's nothing here!" 

"It's not wrong!" she insisted stubbornly. "This part of the wall sounds different. Come back over and listen."

Cloud took a step toward her. There was a loud clicking sound…

Aeris jumped back as the well-hidden door swung open, nearly whacking her in the face. She looked at Cloud, astonished, to see the blond man was as surprised as she was.

"I didn't do anything!" he protested. "I swear!"

Nanaki padded over to inspect the tiled floor Cloud was standing on. "A floor-trap," he announced. "Very well designed. Ingenious."

"How's it ingenious?" Cloud wanted to know. "I tripped it, and I didn't even know it was there!"

Nanaki chose to ignore this, instead turning to Aeris. "Why was this room hidden?"

Aeris peered inside, but drew back instantly. She laughed nervously, rubbing her hands over her arms as though she had goosebumps. "It's funny," she said, "but now that we've found the room, I'm not sure I want to go inside!" 

Cloud looked at her piercingly; her fake laughter couldn't conceal her uneasiness. "Why? Do you feel anything?" 

She bit her lip, green eyes thoughtful. "I know…I know that I'm afraid to go in there. But at the same time, something draws me…" She took a step forward.

Cloud pulled her back. "A trap!" he hissed. "Aeris, please, I've learned to trust your instincts. I really think you should, too!" 

She shook her head, drawing away from him. "No, I don't think it's a trap," she whispered. "I think…the answer's in here…just beyond this door." Firmly disengaging Cloud's hand from her arm, she strode into the blackness beyond the door. 

Cloud looked at Nanaki, shrugged helplessly, and followed her. A moment later, Nanaki bounded after him.

******

__

You're afraid…

"Yes, I know!" Aeris whispered, wringing her hands. "I am afraid, and I don't know why! Tell me, please!" 

__

You're afraid…of the answer…

"Answer to what?!" she screamed into the blackness. "I'm afraid of something I know nothing about! This isn't fair!" 

Silence. 

"All right,' she said quietly, dropping her raised arms to her sides. "I understand. I'm sorry. I am deathly afraid…but of what? Am I at least to be granted that knowledge?"

__

It is that answer of which you're afraid.

Aeris hid her hands in her hands. Nothing made sense. Everything made sense. "I know," she whispered brokenly. "I know."

__

As you already know the answer. It is there, deep inside of yourself. But you're afraid…

She felt herself sinking, sinking into a blackness more defined than the one that already surrounded her. Frantically she clawed her way to the surface. "Afraid of what?!"

There was no response. 

******

Cloud shivered in the silent darkness. "Aeris?" he called out, wanting desperately to hear another human being's voice, feel another human's touch. Nanaki seemed strangely…beastly, suddenly, no matter how high his intellect.

"Aeris!" he shouted again, gripped by a horrible dread he could but not understand. "Aeris!" Why wasn't she answering?

"Over here!" Nanaki called from some distance away. "She won't respond. I think she's unconscious." 

Wishing he could see, Cloud stumbled over to where he heard Nanaki's voice, and as a result nearly tripped over him. He caught himself quickly.

"She's down on the floor, by me," Nanaki said. "She's alive, but…" He trailed off.

__

But just barely, Cloud thought grimly, feeling Aeris' ice-cold flesh. Gathering her in his arms, he stumbled to his feet, intending to carry her out of the place. 

"Cloud," Nanaki intoned, jumping in front of him. "You're going the wrong way. Follow me."

Cloud started to follow him, but Nanaki stopped suddenly, nose quivering. "No, not this direction," he murmured, turning around. 

"What's wrong? Cloud said impatiently. He could feel Aeris' life ebbing from her body. She was shivering convulsively now. 

"Here," Nanaki said after a moment. "This way."

"Where are we?" Cloud asked, following so close he was almost stepping on Nanaki's tail. He could see now, a little at least, or maybe his eyes were just getting used to the darkness. 

Up ahead, the animal stopped short. "Oh, no."

"What is it?" Receiving no answer, Cloud pushed past him, noticing how much better he could see now. He thought this odd, but then he saw the room ahead of them and forgot about it. 

It appeared, at first, to be an equipment storage room. Cages were thrown against walls, stacked in disarray. A steel table took up the most space in the center of the room. Its surface was clear, except for a white cloth and several od-looking tools, perhaps used for surgery. A few softly humming mako-filled tubes were lined up in back, casting a ghastly greenish light over everything. The light, however, did nothing to aid one's vision. Instead, it almost seemed to make it more difficult to see.

At second glance, however, the room was vastly different.

__

Creatures were in the cages.

Hideous mutations. Red eyes blinked out at them from behind iron bars that looked alarmingly unstable. Low moaning, grunting sounds were emitted from what looked like disturbingly human faces. The cages kept out the creatures, but nothing could keep out the terrible smells wafting through the room. 

Cloud swallowed hard, fighting back an overwhelming sense of shock and nausea. All he could think of was what Sephiroth had once said…about the horrible monsters created by Hojo…

__

You saw it! All of them…were humans…

Piteous wails rose up from deformed mouths. Whatever Hojo had done to the creatures evidently kept death at bay, they having lived in darkness for over a year. They hung in limbo between living and dying, both out of reach. Their lamenting wails bespoke of a sorrowful existence where even the sweet privilege of death was denied them.

__

All of them…were humans…

Aeris' weight in his arms made Cloud pull himself together. Pushing thoughts of what this was- and what it signified- aside he gently set her down on the steel table, first sweeping the surgical tools aside with one arm.

Aeris' skin was deathly cold to the touch and had a terribly unnatural pallor, her blue lips standing out in stark relief against her white flesh. Her breathing was slow and uneven, as though her body was forgetting how to function. She had even stopped shivering, perhaps to conserve what little energy she had left.

"Damn," Cloud muttered. "What's wrong with her?"

Nanaki put his paws on the table for a better look. "I don't know," he said slowly. "I have never seen a malady like this."

"We have to do something!" Cloud shouted angrily, then almost immediately calmed; the creatures in the cages were watching him intently. "She won't last much longer."

Just then, Aeris drew a shuddering breath and sat straight up on the table, her eyes opening wide. Then she seemed to collapse, putting a hand on the edge of the table to support herself and putting the other over her face. She drew another deep breath. 

"The answer…" she murmured. "I must find the answer!"

"Aeris?" Cloud looked at her carefully, hoping she wasn't delirious. "Are you all right?"

She looked up then, the color returning to her cheeks. "I'm fine." She swung her legs over the side of the table and for the first time noticed their surroundings. "What is this place?"

Cloud looked away before answering, closing his eyes. "This," he began, "is Hojo's dirty little secret."

__

All of them…were humans…

He opened his eyes and turned back to Aeris. "It's where he kept his failed test subjects."

******

Shera clutched the airship's railing with both hands, watching the countryside speed by. She kept rubbing her eyes to clear them. Her vision was blurry, and it wasn't because of the wind.

__

Who wanted you along, anyway?! 

She swallowed back the lump in the throat. She had always told herself that Cid was so caught up in his ambitions he didn't see how much he hurt her. But…

__

All you are is dead weight!

A small sob escaped her lips. She loved Cid, she truly did. But things were going so wrong!

She wiped the back of her hand over her eyes angrily. Cid had every right to feel the way he did. It was true she couldn't fight, and was most likely useless baggage. She was the wrong who was wrong, reacting the way she had. 

"But don't you want to be appreciated?"

Shera looked about. The voice had come out of nowhere! "Who-who said that?" she cried, a faint tremor to her voice.

"Someone who has been watching over you." The voice was soft, melodious. Enticing. "Answer my question. Wouldn't you like to be appreciated?"

"I-I don't know," Shera faltered. "I guess…I would prefer the Captain to be a little nicer to me…"

"You want more than that," the voice cut in smoothly. "You want Highwind to admit he depends on you. You want him to take your hand and tell you he can't live without you!" The voice softened. Shera had to strain to hear. "You want him to suddenly realize he loves you."

Shera's breathing had quickened, coming out in quick little gasps. How could this person, whoever it was, know so much about her? All her hopes, her dreams, her innermost desires?

"I told you," the voice whispered. "I've been watching over your miserable existence, Shera. Why do you put up with such treatment? You could have been so much more."

She blinked, putting a hand to her head. The air rushing by on the deck of the airship was making her dizzy and confused. "I've asked myself that very same question many times," she admitted softly. "Would I leave him, if I could?"

"And what was the answer?"

Leave Cid to fend for himself, who had stolen her heart so long ago? Cid, whose course gestures and bad habits were somehow endearing? "I can't." Her voice choked a little, and she cleared her throat. "I can't," she repeated more clearly.

"There is a way you can escape."

Escape?

"Look, Shera."

She walked slowly to the railing and stared down at the ground hundreds of feet below. She began to tremble.

"No." She had to force the word out. 

"Think about it," the voice urged. "Your life has no meaning anyway. It would be better, much better, this way."

Slowly, hardly realizing what she was doing, Shera placed a foot on the bottom rail, then brought the other up beside it. She stood on the railing, looking down. The ground had never looked so far away.

"Cid will finally appreciate you. He will get what he deserves."

Cid? He wouldn't miss her. Maybe a little, at first, but he'd soon forget.

One foot went up on the top rail.

"Just do it." Soft, inviting. "It will all be over in a moment. Then, sweet peace."

Shera was standing, now, balancing on the top railing with both arms out. 

"He can save the world without me," she whispered, a tear running down her cheek. She sucked in a breath…

"Shera!" 

At that moment, Cid Highwind dashed forward. His heart stopped. His breathing stopped. The only thing that mattered was reaching her in time.

Shera screamed as she fell, reaching up to grab hold of the railing, missing by inches. Cid made a wild leap for her hand, and for one awful moment he'd thought he lost her, and then…

He had her hand in both of his, the only link that kept her from plummeting to the earth. Her weight was pulling him over the railing, but he dug his feet and held on with all his might. She was sobbing in fear and kept trying to swing her other hand up, but every time she did, Cid almost lost his hold and she screamed as he fought not to drop her.

He could feel her slipping away from his grasp. "Shera!" He yelled. "Shera, listen to me!" 

Her wild brown eyes looked into his, and for the first time he saw something he'd never seen before…anger? Blame?

…Or was it hurt?

"No matter what happens, I will not let you go!" he shouted. "Come on, Shera! Give me your other hand!"

Desperately she tried to reach up, but at the last second she lost her grip. Cid was pulled further over the railing as she lurched back. 

"I can't!" she cried. "I can't do it!"

"Dammit, Shera!" Cid yelled. "That doesn't sound like the woman I know!"

She looked up at him, eyes confused.

Cid felt the tendons in his shoulders straining with the pressure and talked fast. 

"Who was it that stayed behind in a death trap to fix Tank No. 8?" he demanded. "Who was it that saved a damn fool when that same tank collapsed on him? The Shera I know never gave up!"

She swung slowly beneath him. "Cid…"

He felt his hold starting to give. "Just hurry up!"

Her mouth set in a resolute line, Shera made a tremendous effort. Her hand found Cid's wrist and held. He stared into her eyes for a moment, then hauled her up.

Her legs found a hold on the railing, and he was able to lift her over easily. Once the danger was past, Shera collapsed in his arms and broke down. 

Cid was shocked. For all the years he'd known Shera, he'd _never _seen her cry. Every time he'd yelled at her, every time he'd lost his temper, she'd only nodded and murmured, "Of course, Captain." But to see her like this…

"Goddammit, Shera," he whispered into her ear. "Why'd you have to go and do a dumb-ass thing like that?"

"I'm sorry, Captain!" she wailed into his shoulder. Immediately Cid realized his mistake.

"No, Shera," he said softly. "Don't say that." Her sobs quieted as she pulled away to look at him.

"Forgive me, Shera." He tried to smile, but the expression didn't seem to come out right.

She looked mildly astounded. "Cid-" She started to say, but changed her mind. "Cid…I've never heard you say those words to me."

"I don't think I ever have," he admitted. "Shera…I ain't too good at saying this, but…I need you. When I saw you there, on that railing, I was so damn scared…what would I do without my best mechanic?"

Of course. _This_ was why she had never left him.

"I need you too, Cid," she breathed, laying her head back down on his shoulder. "I don't think I've ever told you how much-"

Just then, the door to the deck slammed open and Yuffie rushed out. "Oh Gawd, I think I'm gonna hurl-" She stopped short on seeing the two of them. "Oh, uh…I'm not interrupting something, am I?"

****

For Anya, who has somehow converted me to a Cid/Shera fan ;)


	10. Were Humans

Chapter 9:

Chapter 9:

"…Were humans…"

"We cannot banish danger, but we can banish fears. We must not demean life by standing in awe of death."

~David Sarnoff

"Failed test subjects," Aeris repeated softly, peering into one of the cages. "Those poor creatures."

The thing wrapped its deformed hands around the bars of the cage, looking at her with pleading yellow eyes.

__

Help us…

Aeris leaped back in alarm. "It…it talked!"

"What talked?" Cloud demanded. "Aeris?"

"That thing!" She pointed to the creature in the cage. "It's sentient!"

__

Of course I am sentient. It stared up at her unblinkingly. _I am…or rather, was…a survivor of the Cetra._

"The Cetra!" Aeris took a step forward, studying the creature intently. "I thought I was the last."

__

You are, it said bluntly. _Hojo and Gast had gathered all that remained of our ancient race….but when Gast eloped with your mother, Ifalna-_

"You knew my mother?" Aeris interrupted eagerly.

Another creature, one trapped in a cage to the left of the first one, nodded its head. When it spoke, it was apparent this thing had once been female.

__

Your mother was the kindest, most gentle person I've ever met. I've always felt privileged to know her-

She talked too much, a third creature, sitting in a cage above the second, retorted. _When that fool Gast fell in love with her, he left, taking with him our only shred of hope. With him out of the way, Hojo could perform his experiments to his fullest. No one stopped him. No one interfered while he changed us to what we are now! _

He left us behind for a good reason, the second one countered. _If Hojo had us, he would not search for Ifalna right away, allowing her time to give birth to a child that may be the last salvation for humankind!_

He left us behind as bargaining chips! The third hissed.

"What's going-" Cloud started to say, but Nanaki shushed him. Though neither of the two non-Cetra could hear the creatures' voices, Nanaki understood something important was happening. Why else would Aeris be standing there like that, gripping the lab table for support, all blood drained from her face? 

"I cannot be held responsible for wither of my parents' actions," she said slowly and deliberately. Cloud looked to Nanaki in question, but the latter pretended not to see him.

Aeris continued. "What's done is done. What is it you want from me now?"

The first creature's gaze met hers. "Kill us."

"What?!" Aeris flinched, as though she'd been struck a physical blow. "Why?"

It waved a scrawny, mutated arm at the other Cetra trapped in cages, perhaps four or five in all. _We have been trapped here since before your birth. We can't die of natural causes. We must be killed by some outside force._

Aeris opened her mouth, but the creature kept talking.

__

Please, Aeris Gainsborough. Have you no pity?

She could only shake her head, torn by inner turmoil. At last, to find survivors of the Ancient race! True, pure-blooded Cetra, those who could talk with her about the Promised Land, tell her of her mother. And now…to kill them? What was more, to murder them in cold blood? Aeris had never taken a sentient life and she certainly didn't want to start now. Most of her friends had plenty of blood on their hands, and some of the more hardened ones laughed at her steadfast respect for life.

Inadvertently she thought of Reno once again. His face contorted with fury as he yelled at her. . "Where the hell do you get off preaching about life?! You know nothing, absolutely nothing, about the real world!" 

But she did know. She'd heard the pain, the suffering in his voice when he yelled that. Aeris had been though her share of suffering too. But painful experiences hadn't diminished her beliefs; in fact, it had enlarged them. After seeing how easily life could be lost, she'd come to understand just how precious it was.

"I can't." She spoke in a whisper. "I can't do what you ask!"

__

You must! Stern, commanding. _We are dead already. At least grant us this one request. No one else may do it. Only one of the Cetra._

"I?" She looked to Cloud pleadingly. "Couldn't-"

__

No! It was the third one, the one who held such anger toward her father, that spoke this time. _Or do you deny your heritage?_

"I do!" she yelled. "I didn't want it! I didn't want any of it! Not the responsibility, the questions, the abilities…I just wanted to be normal like everyone else! Why do I have to be different?!" It wasn't Aeris who was speaking. Rather, it was her past childhood coming back to her- the sideways looks, the jokes at her expense, Elmyra looking shocked at the things young Aeris shouldn't know but did. People hunting her down…

__

Aeris, listen to me. The second one, the female, begged. _You can't change who you are. You can't send your life back and reorder another. But you _can _take this life and make the most of it. Use your heritage to your best advantage. Don't try to change your identity. Go along with it. _

Aeris was silent a long moment. The first Cetra spoke to her gently.

__

Young one, he said softly. _You will find the answer._

Hearing this, she looked up. "You!" she cried out in recognition. "You were the one that spoke to me! Please, what is the answer? I must know!"

__

You will find it in time, was the only reply.

Dissatisfied, yet somehow knowing the discussion was finished, Aeris hung said, in a nearly indiscernible whisper:

"I'll do it." 

******

It was over quickly.

Aeris was silent after Cloud and Nanaki led her from the room. The blond man suspected she might be brooding, going over every action, trying to determine whether she had done the right thing. As a matter of fact, this was almost precisely what she was doing.

Destroying the last remnants of her kind had been the hardest thing Aeris had ever had to do. Not only that, but since taking a life, she felt…dirty, somehow. Unclean. Her hands weren't hardened with blood. The first shocking realization that she had _killed_ living beings was overwhelming. Aeris couldn't handle it.

She looked at Cloud, smiling at her so reassuringly. _How can they do it? _She wondered. _How can they kill so much and still be able to smile, to enjoy their own lives? How can Cloud still stand tall and proud? How can Barret still tell stories to Marlene at bedtime? How can Reno still wear that awful Turk's uniform and not be ashamed of what it symbolizes? _

As if seeming to read her thoughts, Cloud's smile faded. He patted her shoulder sympathetically. 

"Sometimes, you just have to remember to stay yourself," he said softly. "When you take a life, your own is all you have left."

"I know," she replied, after a moment. "But…I wish there was another way."

"So do I," he murmured. Just then, Zack called to him from across the lab.

"Cloud!"

Cloud's head snapped up. "Zack! Tifa!" His eyes narrowed. "Who's this with you?"

Tifa tapped a foot nervously while Zack explained how they had come across Sufur. She noted how Cloud's eyes narrowed when he looked at the man, and she knew he was trying to figure this guy out, too. Through it all, Sufur stood with his arms crossed, and arrogant smile on his lips. He talked slowly, with elaborate patience, as he answered Cloud's curt question.

"Of course I can fight. I know how to defend myself, and I was once pretty good with a gun." His smile, if possible, grew colder. "Trust me, you'll definitely want me fighting for you, rather than against you."

"That's for us to decide," Cloud snapped. He motioned Tifa aside and stepped some distance away from the others. He spoke in a whisper, glancing back to make sure Sufur couldn't hear him. 

"All right. What do you think of this guy?"

Tifa counted off her fingers. "He's cold, cocky, unfriendly and too slick. I don't like this." She hesitated, then went on. "But…he's right. I definitely would not want to fight him. People are only that confident if they're either really stupid, or have something up their sleeve. And he doesn't look stupid to me." She looked at Cloud intently. "He's not joining us 'against a common foe', or whatever reason he's giving. He wants something out of us, I'm certain. We just work to his advantage."

Cloud nodded grimly. "That's what I figured. And we can't leave him here, not now. We need to keep an eye on him." _And I bet that bastard knows it, too, _he added silently,

"So we have no choice."

"It would seem that way." He sighed. "Watch him closely, if I can't, all right? See if you can get a sense as to what he's really after."

"Sure thing." Tifa looked at Cloud closely, a little worried, though she refrained from mentioning it aloud. She had never seen him look as weary as he did now. Dark circles under his eyes made his face look tired and wan. He was unusually pale, too. _Maybe he's under too much pressure, _she thought._ He needs a break._

He smiled. "Thanks, Teef. I always could count on you."

They walked back to the group, where Zack greeted them with an ear-piercing whistle. "Took you two long enough, I must say. What _were_ you talking about?"

Tifa's cheeks burned. Not again! She saw Sufur observing languidly, smirking sarcastically. Wishing she could disappear, she turned and gave Zack a look that plainly said, _Why don't you ever shut up?!_

"Zack," Cloud said calmly. "Please keep your mind on business." He looked at Sufur meaningfully. Zack grinned apologetically.

"Sorry. These things just pop outta me." He waved a hand airily. "Won't happen again."

Tifa doubted that. She looked at Sufur again to see him smiling charmingly. She shot him a glare.

"You're in," Cloud said to him abruptly. "But you'll have to prove your worth on your own." He turned and started for the elevator. "Come on. I want to reach Kalm before dark."

"A bit crabbier than usual, isn't he?" Zack observed. He winked at Tifa. "Guess it's up to you to cheer him up." When she opened her mouth to argue, he simply grabbed her arm and pulled her after Cloud. "Don't shirk your duty now, Tifa, or you'll owe me thirty push-ups!" They left, Nanaki trotting after them. 

Aeris started to follow them, but Sufur stepped in front of her, scowling. 

"I heard you were dead."

She looked up at him steadily. "Are you disappointed to find I'm not?"

The retaliation caught him momentarily off-guard, and he didn't know what to say. But only momentarily. Quickly recovering, a smooth smile replaced the scowl. "Of course not. I'm absolutely thrilled."

A look of alarm crossed Aeris' features. For just one moment, she was afraid of this man, afraid of the unspoken threat behind his words. For one terrible second, she was even more fearful of the known than the unknown. 

Sufur saw her expression change, and his confidence grew. "Sorry about the mistake, Miss Gainsborough." Turning, he followed the others. 

Aeris realized her teeth were clenched so tight her jaw was hurting. She forced herself to relax, swallowing hard. She turned back for one, final glance to the room that was the crypt for the last of the Cetra, than hurried after the others.

******

The dream came again that night.

Cloud tossed and turned fitfully in the bed at the Kalm Inn, knowing it was a dream, trying to force himself to wake. But he never could. Not until the dream was complete. 

He was standing alone, watching his entire life flash-forward in front of him, as though on a huge movie screen. From the time in Nibelheim, wistfully watching Tifa and her friends play, wishing he could get along with people like that. Instead of joining them, the young Cloud turned away from them, scuffing a toe in the dirt. "I don't need them," he muttered.

His childhood. Wasted.

The promise at the well. Tifa's eyes, bright with unshed tears, pleaded with him to stay. But she was too proud to say it aloud. Her voice was steady as she asked him to remember the promise. 

She wanted to have faith in him. She wanted to believe in something.

His life accelerated, the pictures moving faster and faster. Trying for SOLDIER, failing miserably. He couldn't go back to Nibelheim, couldn't tell Tifa of his failure. So he became a nobody, signed up for guard duty.

Failed. All his life, he'd failed.

Becoming friends with Zack. Zack, whose dreams were as tangible as his personality. _He _made it to SOLDIER, First Class. _He _was someone to believe.

Lost. Confused emotions.

Back to Nibelheim on a mission with Sephiroth. Tifa. Hiding who he was.

Hidden. He had always been hiding.

Sephiroth discovering what he was. Nibelheim going up in flames. His family…his childhood…everything… 

Burning rage…just like the fires surrounding him…

Zack's death. Swaggering back to Midgar, telling everyone he was a member of SOLDIER. First Class.

Lies…His whole life…a lie…

"You see?" The voice of Jenova said to him. " You have never had anything, anyone. Only me. I'm the only one you can count on."

The words he had said to Tifa earlier echoed back to him. His childhood friend, so supportive, so-

"So out of your league!" Jenova hissed. "She deserves better!

No! he cried soundlessly, but in his heart he knew Jenova was right.

"Stop clinging to her. Face your destiny like a man."

But…Tifa…

Cloud bolted upright, breathing heavily. The bedsheets were tangled and damp with his sweat. Half of the blankets were on the floor. The room was pitch black. 

Pulling his legs free of the blankets, Cloud stood shakily and walked over to the sliding door that led to the inn's back balcony. He opened it quietly, careful not to wake the others. Zack, Sufur and Nanaki all roomed with him. They would have booked two rooms for the guys, but he and Zack had decided: Sufur was not to be trusted. Left with only one member of the party, he could…Cloud didn't know. As Nanaki had pointed out, why did Sufur bother joining them if he was going to turn on them? Still, there was just something about that guy he didn't like. 

Cloud stepped out onto the balcony, breathing in the night air. Things were so damn confusing, and the reoccurring nightmare wasn't helping. He knew it was Jenova striving to reach him; that part was clear. But why these jibes about Tifa?

And then he realized. With a low moan, he put his face in his hands, rubbing his aching temples.

__

It's trying to turn me against her, he thought. _No! I did that once, but never again. I am stronger than the Jenova inside of me. I can overcome it. _

But what if he couldn't?

"I will," he vowed aloud. "No matter what it takes, I'll protect Tifa!"

"What if it takes more than you can muster, little puppet?"

He swallowed back sudden fear. "You wait," he whispered, his throat dry. "You wait and see."

The words echoed back to him, carried on the cool night air.

****

K, those of you who are impatient to see Reno & Co. again, (myself included) next chap. Thanks to everyone who's still reading this. You're all just so darn great! Luv your feedback! Just remember- Reno RULES!!

~Lila

PS- Oh, yes. I purposely didn't mention how Aeris killed the Cetra, deciding to leave that to your imaginations. This is Cetra-stuff! How would I know what's going on? listens in vain for someone to believe in her excuse* Oh well. 


	11. Illusion

Chapter 10:

Chapter 10:

Illusion

"Pain makes man think.

Thought makes men wise.

Wisdom makes life endurable."

~John Patrick 

Elena was standing in the middle of a wide field. The sun was shining down on her, and without any shade she was unbearably hot. She looked quickly around for the others, but saw no one. Saw nothing but tall grass blowing in the wind.

_How did I get here? _She wondered. _I don't remember leaving the others. I don't even remember leaving the airship._

The first inkling of fear trickled into her mind. She pushed it aside.

_Well, standing here in the middle of nowhere isn't helping me any, _she told herself. _I may as well find a place to get my bearings._

Upon reaching this decision, she started walking. But even as she did, the grass around her, already up to her waist, seemed to grow higher and higher, towering over her head. Elena gave a short cry of real terror and began to run, pushing the tall grass aside, hardly seeing where she was going, only knowing she must flee. 

Inevitably, she tripped and fell face forward on the ground. She lay there a moment, her breath coming in short gasps as she fought back tears. Crying would do her no good, she knew, but she couldn't ever remember being this frightened.

"Elena!"

Someone helped her to her feet. She looked quickly around. The grass was normal grass again, maybe two inches tall, the way grass ought to be.

"Elena. You okay?" Rude. He was the one who'd helped her up. Now he peered into her face, his own lined with concern.

"Rude!" She clutched at him in relief. "Where are we?"

"I don't know." He looked around. "But I don't like it."

"Hey! Aren't you gonna ask about me?"

The speaker was Reno, trotting toward them. His carefree tone wasn't very successful at hiding the fear in his voice.

Elena turned back to Rude, feeling much better now that that her friends were here. "Oh yeah. And where's the Turk mascot?"

"I resent that." Reno had caught up to them, but he wasn't smiling anymore. He glared at her angrily. "At least I'm not some bitch playing at being a man."

"Really, Reno!" She glared back at him. "That wasn't funny. Sometimes you take a joke too far."

"Who said I was joking?" There was another quality in the red-head's voice now, an added tone of cruelty honed to a deadly edge. "Pathetic little wannabe."

"Reno!" Elena cried, stung by his words. "Knock it off. You know I've proved myself many times."

"Oh yeah? How?" His voice turned mocking. "By wielding your feminine charms?" 

"Shut up!" Blood rushed to Elena's furious face. "How dare you!"

"How dare you call yourself a Turk?" Rude demanded. Elena turned to him in astonishment, but he went on. "We're always having to cover for you. Why'd you take the job anyway? Because no man would ever want you?"

"Rude…" To hear her kind friend talk in that way hurt terribly. She hardened her voice. "I took the job because I knew I could handle it. I'm good with a gun, I'm smart, strong-"

"If you're so strong, how come I can do this?" Rude grabbed both her arms roughly and hooked his leg round hers, spilling her to the grass. It was a simple maneuver, but she was too shocked to even think of resisting. A sharp rock jutted out from the ground, and she scraped her arm on it. But she hardly felt the pain. All her mind registered was complete and total surprise. 

Reno stood over her, arms crossed. "I think we should teach her a lesson."

"Yeah," Rude agreed. "Filthy wannabe." He kicked her with his boot. 

It was then the tears started. What was happening? These were her best friends, the two people she loved most in the world. No. This wasn't real. This _couldn't _be real!

"Oh, look, the baby's bawling," Reno said in disgust. "Be right back." He disappeared from sight.

Because she was lying on her back, the tears slid backwards into her ears, making it hard to hear. Not that she needed to hear anything. Rude stood silently above her, his face cold and impassive. 

She couldn't move, couldn't even speak. If she made the slightest move to get up, Rude pushed her down with his foot, growling a curse. There she waited until Reno returned.

In his arms he was holding a huge red and black striped snake. 

"…Reno?" What was he doing? He knew she hated slimy things, especially snakes. He knew! "Reno!"

He grinned wickedly and dropped the snake. "Let's see how much of a Turk you really are."

And then the snake was slithering all over her body, wrapping its cold, wet self around her. She fought desperately, but Rude gave her a look that froze her in place. She opened her mouth, either to plead or wail in despair, and the snake slithered down into her throat. It was so huge that it could only go about halfway down.

Elena screamed.

Reno started laughing, softly at first, then harder and harder. After a moment, Rude joined in. The laughter rose in volume as Elena's scream did the same, until all she could hear was a loud ringing in her ears, drowning out any other sound. The snake was choking her, wiggling still deeper down her throat. She would have vomited in disgust had not the snake been in the way. 

But all that seemed like nothing in comparison to her horror about her two friends. That one thought kept running through her head: This isn't real. This isn't happening! 

Then all at once she realized the snake wasn't alive at all; it was dead! It was dead, but something was still sliming down her throat, something wet and cold…then she understood and nearly fainted. The dead snake's innards were slicking down inside of her, perhaps through its eyes and wide-open mouth…

_This doesn't make any sense! _She screamed inwardly. _It isn't real! It isn't real!_

Reno crouched over her, grinning crookedly. She had seen him use that same grin on people he intended to kill. Her blood ran cold.

"Well, Elena? How do you like being a full-fledged Turk?" He leaned close. "Isn't it everything you've always wanted? Everything you've always dreamed of?" 

_This can't be real. I won't let it be real!_

Something clicked inside of Elena's brain. Maybe it was the deathly cold look in Reno's eyes, maybe it was the sight of Rude with an amused smile on his usually placid face, maybe it was the strangeness of the whole situation. Maybe it was the core of strength deep inside of her, the core that would, never, ever admit defeat. Whatever it was, it saved her soul.

_"Once Jenova has found a way to penetrate your mind, she will then have power over your inner self." _The Ancient had been right. The damned Jenova was looking for a weakness. Well, Elena wouldn't let her find one.

With a shrill cry of rage, she ripped the snake from her mouth. Acting quickly, she grabbed Reno's leg and pulled him down. He toppled over, completely surprised. Elena used his leverage to get to her feet in time to dodge Rude's flying fist. She grasped that outstretched arm and leaned on it while slamming the heel of her foot into his middle. Rude doubled over, gasping.

She felt someone behind her grab her hair, raking his fingers through her scalp. Reno. 

With a cool detachment that surprised her, especially when she was in this much pain, Elena bent over a little and reached behind herself. Once she managed to get a firm hold on the Turk, she used his own weight to throw him over her shoulder, getting half her hair torn out as he was forced to release his grip. Before he could get up, she kicked him once in the shin and once in the chest. Then she leaned over him and said in a chilling whisper: 

"You won't beat me this way."

Reno's eyes narrowed as he started to say something, but first she calmly broke his nose with an expert twist of her hand.

Rude, who had gotten to his feet, was quick, but not quick enough. She launched a roundhouse kick, catching him in the side of the jaw, making him stumble back. While he was trying to recover, she punched him hard in the face, creating a large crack in his dark sunglasses…

"Elena! Wake up!"

She bolted upright. The snake! Was it still in her mouth? She swallowed. No. A dream. That was all.

"Elena!"

Reno was giving her the once-over. "What the hell happened? Why were you screaming like that?"

The two of them, along with Rude, Barret and Vincent, were sitting in the airship's common room to pass the time. Yuffie had been with them until a short time ago, when she had been struck by a bout of airsickness and had to rush up to fresh air. Afterward, Reno began cracking mean jokes that he would have thought twice about making, had Yuffie been there. Thus, it was only natural Elena had fallen asleep.

She looked around for the others. She was still on the battered old couch that sagged under even her weight. Barret had tried to sit in it, but the thing had nearly collapsed. He now sat in a more stable chair. Vincent leaned against the far wall. Reno, who was _supposed _to be on the other side of the room, sitting at the bar with Rude, had made his way over to the couch to scream in her ear to "wake up". 

Now Elena stared at him as though she'd never seen him before. Just seconds ago, in her mind, he'd betrayed her in the worst way possible: By taking advantage of her trust.

"Reno," she said very slowly, knowing this would sound odd, "what would you do if you had a snake?"

He used that same crooked grin on her. "I'd wrap a bow around it and say, 'Happy birthday, Elena!' I know how much you _love _snakes!"

It was the wrong answer. Elena promptly burst into tears, crying hysterically. Reno caught her in his arms, looking thoroughly startled.

_Was it something I said? _He mouthed at Rude. The bald man hurried over to help. 

"Elena, calm down. What's the matter?"

She made an effort to strop crying, wrenching herself from Reno's grasp. Vincent and Barret were watching curiously. 

"I'm fine," she gulped, wiping the tears still streaming from her eyes. "It's just…" She paused, looking at the two of them. Reno's usually easy-going façade had dropped, just for now, to reveal true concern. Rude, ever-loyal Rude, putting an arm around her shoulders to steady her.

They would never turn on her. Not Rude, who had once beat up a man for making a crude joke at her expense, nor Reno, who covered for her when she was late for work. Looking at them, she just _knew_ they would be friends forever.

She started to cry again. "It's just that you guys are so great to me…"

"Figures," Reno scoffed, though relief was evident in his voice. "That time of month again."

Normally she would have slapped him, but now only smiled. Just then, Yuffie, who had returned, spoke.

"You know what," she said solemnly, "I always thought the day I'd see a tearful Elena being _comforted _by Reno and Rude would be the day I saw Cid kiss Shera…and would ya believe it, they both happen at the same time!"

There was silence for a moment while this statement was pieced together. Then, everyone was on their feet. 

"Now I gotta see this to believe it!" was Reno's exclamation as they all raced to the deck.

******

"So, Elena." Cid turned his dark blue eyes on her. "You're saying you think your dream was one of Jenova's illusions?"

"Yes." Elena looked down at the table. They were all, once again, gathered in the Operation Room, sitting around the meeting table. Barret held Marlene in his lap, and Adine, who had taken a shine to Rude, was now in the Turk's. The sight of the silent, bald man, dark shades over his eyes and with a gun strapped to his hip, holding a four-year old child on his knee was ludicrous, but Elena didn't laugh. She had just finished telling everyone about her dream, and she didn't want to meet either Rude's or Reno's gaze right then. But of course she had to.

"Elena." Reno's voice sounded strained, and Elena winced as she looked up at him. "Don't you ever remind me I said this, but…I am damn proud of you."

Rude nodded. "You beat Jenova. Just like a true Turk would."

"So now we have a way of fightin' back?" Barret asked. Elena was glad he'd interrupted. She didn't trust herself to say anything without choking on the words. 

"Don't fool yourselves." The voice was Vincent's, and as usual, everyone looked at him like he had no right to speak. He ignored the glances and kept talking. "All we have is a defense. We still need to find a way to strike at Jenova itself."

"What defense?" Yuffie burst out. "I don't understand! What did Elena do that stopped Jenova from taking control of her mind?" She was aware she was whining, but didn't care. 

"I don't really know what I did," Elena admitted, feeling stupid. "I just…reacted."

"It sounds like maybe all you did was react," Shera suggested. "You overcame your weakness with your strength." She was quiet a moment. "You were stronger than me." 

"It wasn't that," Elena protested, feeling embarrassed. "I just couldn't believe those two guys would turn on me like that!" She grinned and waved a hand at Reno and Rude. "She made a mistake, that's all." 

No one else smiled. Elena looked at Cid, who was staring, stony-faced. She followed his gaze to the lower half of her raised forearm. It was completely covered with blood. She hadn't even noticed it.

"How did that happen, Elena?" Rude asked quietly, although it was unnecessary. He knew. 

Elena swallowed, her throat dry. "It…was when you tripped me and pushed me to the ground," she whispered. "I scraped my arm against a rock."

Nobody spoke, the truth sinking in. These illusions weren't just dreams. They were reality. In these illusions…they could die.

"Some defense," Reno muttered sarcastically.

****

I actually based the whole snake thing on a nightmare I once had. Now, I don't usually have nightmares, so this one really stuck in my mind. So, I let Elena have it. She handled it a lot better than I did in my dream. (Basically bursting into tears and then waking up) 'Course, I didn't have blood on me when I woke up. Thank God! 

~Lila


	12. In the Pagoda of the Five Mighty Gods

Chapter 11:

Chapter 11:

In the Pagoda of the Five Mighty Gods

"To stop sinning suddenly."

~Elbert Hubbard (when speaking of death)

Wutai seemed abandoned. 

At first, the group had stayed together, Shera holding Adine's hand in one of hers and Marlene's in the other. Vincent, after one look around the silent town, had pulled out his gun. The Turks followed suit, and even Cid kept a firm grip on his spear. There was an odd feeling of tension in the air, as though something terrible had happened…or was about to happen.

After a few minutes of strained apprehension, Yuffie gave a short shriek and ran in front. "Dad!" 

Cid tried to grab her before she got too far away but missed, his hand closing on empty air. "Yuffie!" he yelled. "Wait!"

The teen wasn't listening. "Dad!" She ran past the bar, racing further into town. 

"Hey! Yuffie!" The others tried to follow, but, as always, the young ninja's speed showed through. By the time they had rounded the item shop, she had disappeared from view. 

"Great." Reno shook his head. Cid noticed was still fingering his gun absently. "Now what?"

"We've got to find her," Elena said. She stood with her arms clenched tightly, looking very strained. "Something's happened in this town. It's too dangerous to let her wander around by herself." 

"Where'd she go, then?" Barret muttered. 

"Cid!" Vincent said suddenly, pointing with the barrel of his gun, which he hadn't put away. "The pagoda!" 

"Good idea," the pilot agreed. "Come on!" He and Vincent led the way, followed closely by the others. 

Immediately upon stepping inside the five-story building, it was obvious something was horribly wrong. No one mentioned it, but the guarded expressions on everyone's faces deepened. Adine let out a little whimper of fear. Shera bent over here in concern. 

"Cid, I don't like this." Vincent spoke quietly, not wanting to alarm the children further. "Where are all the people?"

Cid frowned at Vincent's tone. "You think it's Jenova?"

"What else could it be?" he replied. "The Sresla. That's got to be it."

Cid started to swear softly, but the words died on his lips as some kind of noise sounded from the floor above them. As one, the entire group looked up. There was a scrape, then the low murmur of voices. 

"C'mon," Cid said, starting up the stairs. "We've been standing here too long."

However, when they reached the second landing, the floor was empty. 

There were more noises from above, and then a shrill scream.

"That was Yuffie!" Elena gasped, tightening her grip on her gun. 

Cid growled a curse. "Let's go!"

The third floor was also empty. But, as Cid's party discovered upon advancing, the fourth was not.

"Sh!" Gorki hissed as the group barreled up the stairs. Cid blinked in recognition and lowered his spear. Gorki, Shake, Chekhov and Staniv were the first four guardians of the Pagoda of the Five Mighty Gods, destined to live out their lives in the five-story building until they were defeated in battle. Yuffie had defeated all four of them- as well as Lord Godo, the challenge of the final floor- but had refused to fulfill the obligation of becoming the new master of the pagoda. Therefore, Staniv, Chekhov, Shake and Gorki were stuck. 

"Where's Yuffie?" Vincent demanded, not lowering his gun. "Why did she scream?"

Chekhov gestured upwards. "She's on the top floor. But don't go up there!" He added as Vincent made a move toward the stairs. "Lord Godo is very sick."

Cid felt a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. "What's wrong with him?"

Staniv shook his head. "We don't know. He's coughing up blood and having hallucinations. And that mark on his hand-"

"Is it a red mark?" Cid interrupted. "In the shape of an hourglass?"

"No, it's black!" Shake burst out. "But yeah, it looks like an hourglass."

"Damn…" Cid said softly. They were too late.

"Miss Yuffie looked shocked when we told her," Chekhov explained, looking at the floor. "Then she gave a kind of scream and ran upstairs."

"How many people have the virus?" Shera asked gently. "When did it start?"

Gorki closed his eyes. "The entire town was struck a few weeks ago. It was a sickness unlike any other we've seen. The little materia we had did no good at all. Potions were no help, either. Mothers could only watch, powerless, as their children sank into deep recessions, always ending with the black mark. Whole families have died. None have survived the sickness…" He broke off, making a frustrated gesture with his hands.

"But…there's got to be something we can do!" Elena cried. "We need to have hope!"

Gorki shook his head slowly, as though unconsciously disagreeing with everything Elena had said. "Wutai will not survive," he said bleakly. "That was what Lord Godo said before sending us away. He wished to die alone."

Cid turned to the others, rage and sorrow fighting for control on his face. "Jenova wants a fight," he said in a low voice. "We'll give her one."

* * * * *

Lord Godo resembled more of a skeleton than anything else- a thin, wasted bag of bones laying on an ironically colorful sleeping mat, propped up by several pillows. His head was hanging low and his breathing was shallow, if not nonexistent. He looked, to all appearances, already dead.

Yuffie stayed in the doorway, rooted to the spot by the sight. Her father- her gruff, comical father- seemed hardly recognizable. She wanted to run back downstairs and demand to see her real dad. But before she could, the man in the bed lifted his head and looked at her. 

Their eyes met. There was a moment of shocked silence. The only sound was Godo's sudden gasps for breath, until his lips parted and he said in one incredulous whisper:

"_Yuffi_e?"

She gave a choked kind of sob and ran to the pallet. As thin and weak as he looked, as long as it had been since she had last seen him, he was still her father, the one she was fighting for. Him and Wutai.

However, she maintained enough self-control to stop herself from throwing her arms around him, as she was wont to do. He looked as though the slightest touch might shatter him into a million little pieces, like a fragile piece of glass. And besides, although it pained her to think it, part of her was afraid and even repulsed by the sight of this man who did not seem her father at all, with his waxy skin and dark, sunken eyes, with the thin, claw-like hands that trembled as they reached out for her.

"My daughter…you've come back…"

The guilt washed over her, preventing her from speaking as she laid her hands in his. She had wanted to return to Wutai after defeating Sephiroth, to see her father again, but she had continuously put off the long journey, feeding her procrastination with what seemed, now, like feeble excuses: _It's too far away; Wutai's boring; He doesn't want to see me, I'm an embarrassment to him…_

And while she was away… 

"Why didn't you come back?" he persisted, holding her hands with a grip so tight it hurt. It was as though he could hardly believe she was there, and if he didn't cling tight she might evaporate before his eyes. "Why didn't you return sooner?"

"I…I don't know," she said, her eyes downcast. She was feeling stupid and ashamed. "Dad…don't do that. Please-don't cry!"

It was true. Tears were coursing down Godo's cheeks, and when he spoke, his voice was thick. 

"I wanted you to come back…I needed to tell you…before I died…" 

"Dad!" A rising dread was fixed in Yuffie's throat, making her speak more harshly than she'd intended. "You're not dying!"

"…needed to tell you how sorry I was…about Wutai. Commercialism…depending on tourism… You were right."

For a few seconds Yuffie was speechless. It was unlike Godo to apologize for anything, and Wutai was the last thing on her mind for the moment. Then her gaze fell on her father's hands in hers, which were now shaking so badly they were slipping from her grasp. And she saw…on the left hand, a black mark in the shape of an hourglass…

"No!" she said firmly, disengaging her hands from his and standing with authority. "I was not right. I was a selfish brat, ignorant of what Wutai went though in the war. You did the best you could under the worst circumstances. I'm the one who should be sorry."

Godo shook his head, oblivious to her every word. "I failed Wutai."

She lowered her head, so that her dark eyes were level with his. "No, you did not. Do you hear me, Dad? _It was not your fault_."

He looked into her eyes, and whatever he had been about to say never came out. Instead he nodded slowly, almost hypnotically. He believed her.

Instantly, something seemed to snap inside of him, and he bolted upright with both hands pressed over his mouth, coughing furiously. There seemed nothing Yuffie could do for him as she stood back, helpless. The choking spasm lasted several minutes. Godo finally removed his hands from his mouth. He hid them hastily under the blankets, but not before Yuffie caught a glimpse of the red splatters of blood across both palms.

"Dad," she said in a low voice, watching as Godo regained his composure. "You're really sick, aren't you?"

He turned his head away from her, unwilling to answer.

Overcome by a mindless fear, Yuffie began to cry. She was going to lose her father, the one person in the world she had left. What would she become, without her father to be there for her? What would Wutai become?

"Dad, I'm sorry I never came back!" she cried out, needing him to at least say something. "I'm sorry I argued with you! I'm sorry I blamed you!"

He made no response, just kept his eyes fixed away from her. The pain became unbearable.

"Look!" Losing control, she began to yank materia out of every crevice in her weapons and armor, dumping the whole mess of it onto her father's pallet. "I promised you I'd bring materia! Here it is, all of it! You have to live now!"

No reply.

The panic left her, replaced by numb despair. Her head lowered. "You have to live…"

A cold hand brushed her cheek. "Please, Yuffie," Godo whispered. "Don't do this." His hand dropped back beside him on the pallet. "Keep fighting. Let nothing stop you in your quest. Let nothing interfere with your beliefs."

She knew what he was saying.

_Forget me. There are others who can be saved._

But…was anyone else worth saving, now? Was there even a point in fighting anymore? 

His eyes, curiously stern, caught hers and she nodded slowly. Of course there was.

"Okay, Dad," she heard herself say. "Okay."

He smiled faintly. "That's my girl." He closed his eyes. His breathing slowed and finally stopped.

It took Yuffie some time to realize the Sresla had faded and disappeared before Lord Godo's death. 

* * * * *

Cid was surprised at how calm Yuffie looked when she returned. She was a little paler, maybe, but there was no hysterical sobbing, no angry grief. 

"Lord Godo is dead," she said tonelessly to Gorki and the others. 

Staniv looked shocked. "No…it can't be!"

"Well, it is!" she snapped. "See to it he has a decent burial."

Perhaps it was the way she spoke that made Gorki ask timidly, "But aren't you attending the funeral, Miss Yuffie?"

Yuffie didn't answer at first. She looked at Cid, and it was there, in her eyes, he saw the grief that he hadn't been able to spot at first. But it was more of a resigned, pained grief, and what she said next made him certain she was at peace with herself. 

"I have something more important to do."

"More important than paying your last respects to your own father?" Shake demanded. "What's that?"

Yuffie winced and opened her mouth, but it was Vincent who spoke, his voice filled with unmistakable anger.

"Perhaps, while you are sitting in your pagoda and hoping the ones you love recover on their own, Yuffie is going out to protect the living and to insure nothing like this ever happens again." His voice was colder than ice, but his eyes showed the true malice he was feeling. "I advise you, next time, to make no judgments unless you know the true situation. And even if you do, stay the hell out of it!" 

Shake murmured something that might have been an apology while Cid made a sign for Vincent to "cool it." The former Turk stepped back, his eyes narrowed into red slits. 

"I'll leave the matter of the funeral to the rest of you," Yuffie said quietly, not looking at any of them. "I know I can trust you."

As each of the four bowed and assured her of his capability, Cid felt an odd sensation, looking at Yuffie. …It was as though she was a different person, no longer a whiny teenager, but someone older, someone mature. Yes…looking at Yuffie, her young face filled with sudden wisdom and sorrow beyond her years, Cid saw that she was truly an adult at last. 

She turned to him and the rest of them. Cid noticed the empty slots in her armor and shuriken and wondered briefly what she had done with her materia, but didn't ask.

"Let's go," he murmured. 

No one spoke as they left the pagoda, but Yuffie stayed behind a moment to look up at it. She didn't think she'd come back here for a while. There was too much to handle…too much to think about.

Maybe someday… 


	13. Dusk

My immense apologies for not posting ****

My immense apologies for not posting! I swear I will try harder. As compensation, I have included plenty of Reno. Reno is good.

~Lila, who is frazzled from school arriving so suddenly

Chapter 12:

Dusk

"So here I slave inside of a broken dream

Forever holding on to splitting seams

So take your piece and leave me alone to die

I don't need you to keep my faith alive."

~_Shackled_, Vertical Horizan

"Who needs an inn?" Cid snapped as he maneuvered the _Apocalypse_ onto the grassy field. The seasoned pilot was so skilled he didn't even need to look at the controls while landing the airship flawlessly. "We can spend the night in the Apocalypse and save a few hundred gil while we're at it."

"It's just the children," Shera replied, waving an arm toward the outside deck, where Marlene and Adine were playing. "They need to sleep in a decent bed for once." 

Cid considered, then shrugged. "Fine. I'll have Barret and maybe a few others check in with them."

"But I could-" she protested, but Cid didn't let her finish.

"You," he informed her, pulling her toward him and kissing her gently, "are staying here. With me."

"Yes, Captain," she answered automatically, not at all inclined to argue. 

Just then a loud banging sounded on the outside door that connected the bridge to the main hall. 

"Dammit!" Cid swore irritably and jerked away from her. He stepped to the door and yanked it open. "_What_?!" 

Barret stood there, gun-arm raised as though he was about to knock again. He put down his arm. "Dijja forget, Cid? You were s'posed to check in with Cloud at sunset, remember?" 

"Damn!" Cid groaned and stepped out the door, gesturing for Shera to follow him. "I did forget." He walked quickly to the common room. On the way he stopped and turned to Barret. "Take the kids to the inn tonight in Rocket Town. That's close by, I think." He looked at Shera. "In the morning, we'll stop in and pick them up, an' see how everyone's doing. That sound okay to you?"

Shera nodded, smiling. Barret coughed. Cid eyed him.

"What?"

"It's jus'…I'd like to bring Yuffie along. She's been kinda down lately, y'know?"

"Yeah," Cid said distractedly. "Sure. But get going. It's getting dark." Barret gave a nod and walked off.

"What's all this about checking in with Cloud?" Shera asked, trotting to keep up with him. Cid had abandoned his romantic (if somewhat gruff) mood and was now back in "leadership" mode. He was the Captain again, whether he admitted it or not. 

"We agreed to call each other on the PHS every night at dusk. It's to make sure we keep in touch and know what's going on." He pushed open the door to the common room and stepped inside. 

Vincent was at a table, a large map spread in front of him. Elena lounged on the couch and Reno and Rude were -as usual- at the bar. 

"Cid, I gotta hand it to you," Reno remarked without turning around. "Having a bar built into this airship was the best thing you could've done."

"For you, at least," Cid remarked dryly. "We need to call Cloud's party. Do-"

The door opened again. Barret came in, Marlene and Adine trailing along behind him. "I can't find Yuffie," he growled. "Does anyone know where she is?"

Shera turned to him. "I thought she was in her room."

They each had their own room on the _Apocalypse_; it was one of the advantages Cid's new airship had over the _Highwind_. After finding how inconvenient it was to have to sleep on cold cement, Cid had incorporated private rooms into the _Apocalypse_'s design. 

Barret shrugged. "She wasn't answerin' when I knocked. Maybe she don't wanna be disturbed."

Elena, on the couch, waved languidly at the table where Vincent was working. "Hey, Vincent."

Vincent either didn't hear, or, more likely, was ignoring her. 

"Vincent!"

Finally he looked up slightly. "What do you want?"

Elena tilted her head toward Barret. "Barret needs some help. Give him a hand, will you?"

"Why should I?"

"Because he isn't smart enough to coax Yuffie out of her room by himself."

Barret looked insulted, but Vincent didn't react. "True enough." He got to his feet and led the way out of the room. Barret, plainly torn between following him and saying a few choice words to Elena, finally scowled and left. 

"Not that I'm saying that wasn't funny, but why would Vincent be able to help with Yuffie?" Reno wondered. Rude shrugged and helped himself to another drink. 

Elena snorted. "Isn't it obvious?" What all she received was blank stares, she sighed in annoyance. "_Men. _Shera?"

Shera gave a little smile. "He must like her."

Reno choked and spat out some of his drink. "Dracula? You gotta be kidding!"

"Did you see the way he got all defensive of her in Wutai?" Elena countered. "When was the last time you saw Vincent lose his temper?"

Reno scowled, knowing she was right. "Anything is possible," he admitted grudgingly. "By the way, what was Vampy-Boy doing with that map?"

"What I asked him to do," Cid replied, looking over the map. "He's been marking every place we've seen that has the Sresla thing." Both Midgar and Wutai had a large X traced over them. That alone suggested the Sresla might have spread to opposite ends of the world. They had been hoping it could be contained. Cid sighed. 

Just then, the PHS in his hand rang. Cid dropped it in surprise, swore, picked it up again and answered. 

"Yeah?"

"Hey, Cid." The voice was Cloud's, and he sounded very weary. "How are you guys doing?"

"First, I'd like to hear how you're doing," Cid replied. "You don't sound so good."

"It's nothing. I'm just a little tired. We've got a new recruit."

"Really?" Cid raised an eyebrow at this, looking at the others.

"Yeah. Says his name's Sufur. There's something weird about him. I can't quite put my finger on it." Cloud broke off for a moment, then kept talking. "We haven't found any real useful information, though. You?"

Cid sighed. "Wutai's totally decimated. Hardly a soul there. Yuffie took it pretty hard."

"Wutai…?" They heard Cloud sigh heavily and Tifa ask him worriedly if he was all right.

"You just look a little tired, Cloud. Maybe you should get some rest."

"Dammit, I'm fine!" They heard him snarl. "Will you stop hovering over me? Just leave me alone for five minutes!"

Cloud had pulled away from the PHS and they didn't hear anything else for some time. At last Aeris' voice came through.

"Sorry, guys. Um…Cloud doesn't feel like talking right now."

"Is Tifa all right?" Rude growled. He had a very dangerous note in his voice. 

"She's fine, Rude," Aeris replied. "Please, relax. How is everyone?" 

Strained silence, until Reno decided to take matters in his own hands.

"Mayday, mayday!" he shouted, grabbing the PHS. "Aeris, I am seriously wilting from lack of femininity. You or Tifa better get over here quick!"

"You've got Yuffie and Elena." Aeris sounded amused. "Are you sure they can't hold you over for now?"

"Yuffie doesn't count," Reno protested, "and Elena's more like a man."

"I heard that, you jerk!" Elena tossed one of the couch pillows at Reno's head.

Aeris laughed. Cid almost smiled himself. Leave it to Reno to break the tension.

"So," he said amiably, reclining on the couch beside Elena. "You all miss me terribly, right?"

"Well, "Aeris mused, "things certainly are a lot…quieter…without you around."

Shera plucked at Cid's sleeve and jerked her head to the door. "I thought you wanted to be alone?" she murmured. 

Cid grinned and put an arm around her shoulders, quietly leading her from the room.

Elena elbowed Reno in the side. "Tell her about Cid and Shera!" she hissed. 

"Oh yeah. Aeris, believe or not, but Cid and Shera are actually together!"

"Finally!" Aeris laughed again. "I thought that might happen sooner or later."

"Yeah, just like _those two_ 'might happen sooner or later'," Elena muttered to Rude, loud enough for Reno to hear. He put a hand over the mouth of the PHS.

"If you two are going to be rude- and no pun intended-" he said loftily, "I guess I'm going to have to go someplace more private."

"Reno-" Elena rolled her eyes.

"That's it! I have no choice but to leave." So saying, he took the PHS with him and left the common room. Elena rolled her eyes again.

"He's such a player."

Rude said nothing, until Elena realized he hadn't been listening at all. She looked at him in concern. 

"What's wrong, Rude?"

Rude sighed. "I don't like the way Cloud talked to Tifa."

"Rude!" Elena was irritated, and let him know by her voice. "Aeris said she was fine! Will you let it go?"

Rude shrugged dismissively, but she knew he wouldn't. She scowled. 

"It's useless trying to get you to listen to me," she complained.

Rude nodded philosophically. "That it is."

Suddenly, vividly, she remembered the illusion. Remembered Rude's unthinkable cruelty. She caught at his arm. What if…?

"Rude, just promise me one thing," she begged in a low voice. "I know you'd never actually try to harm me, but…I can't forget that dream. Just promise me you'll never to anything to hurt me." She cast her eyes downward, not wanting him to see how upset she really was. "I hate the thought of doubting you, but your word would make me feel a lot better."

His face softened. "Elena," he said gently. "I feel terrible you even have to-"

"Promise me!"

He seemed a little startled. "All right, Elena." He spoke slowly, so she wouldn't miss a word. "I promise."

******

"So, what is it about this 'new recruit'?" Reno asked, shifting position so the night breeze blew against his back rather than his face. He was standing on the deck of the Apocalypse, where the air was cooler. 

"What do you mean?" Aeris' voice was clear on the PHS, carrying no hint of the distance that lay between them.

He smiled ruefully, even though she couldn't see it. "Aeris. I'm not stupid. When _Cloud_ thinks there's 'something weird' going on, that's usually when it's time to break out the machine guns."

She laughed. "Well, you're not far off base." Her laughter died suddenly. "Sufur makes himself very hard to trust."

"How so?"

Aeris was silent for a moment. Reno had no way of knowing she was debating whether or not to tell him what Sufur had said to her when they first met. 

__

I heard you were dead.

Are you disappointed to find I'm not?

Of course not. I'm absolutely…thrilled. 

Knowing Reno, he would immediately see Sufur as a threat, especially when he heard the rest. 

Finally, she decided on part of the truth. "To start, he's not the friendliest guy in the world. He's very cold. He hardly ever speaks, and when he does, he's surly or sarcastic." She paused. "As a matter of fact, I don't even know why he wanted to come with us in the first place. He didn't give any real reason, but I fear the worst."

"Can't wait to meet him," Reno remarked dryly. "And knock out his teeth. He sounds like he deserves it. Anything else?"

Aeris hesitated again. "There's some kind of aura about him."

Reno rolled his eyes. "No. Don't give me that Cetra bullshit. I meant-"

"It has nothing to do with my being a Cetra," she interrupted demurely. "It's more tangible than that. The others can tell, too. It's precisely why he makes everyone so uneasy."

"So what is it?" he prompted. 

"…It's impossible to see what he looks like."

Perhaps surprisingly, Reno didn't laugh. "How's that?" The wind blew stray strands of hair across his face, but he hardly noticed. "You mean, he wears a cloak?"

"No, not like that.' She stopped a moment, trying to find the right words. "…It's…like he's out of focus. Whenever you try to look at him, all his features blend together. Like looking through very thick, very dirty glass. He's gotta be hiding from someone."

"Or something." Reno was quiet for a few seconds, trying to digest this new information. He was having a hard time. "Damn, this is the last thing we need." He sighed. "I wish there was a simple explanation for all this."

"There is," she replied. "Magic. Not materia, but something else."

Reno slammed a fist on the ship's railing. "This _is _the last thing we need!" He exploded. "We don't need to deal with some nut with an attitude problem that has some magic we've never even heard of. Not on top of Jenova, saving the world, and Darryn running around loose!" _I swear, I'm going to have a nervous breakdown one of these days!_

"Reno?" She sounded concerned. "Are you okay?"

__

Damn. "Yeah, I'm fine." He sighed. "Just a little strained recently, that's all."_ And depressed. _

"I see." She gave a little sigh of her own. "Me, too."

"Hopefully, things will work out when we get to Nibelheim," he said, trying to lighten the atmosphere a bit. "Much as I dread it."

"Yes." She was silent for some time, then said, very quietly, "I miss you."

Reno started to laugh. "Already?" he asked, mood picking up again.

"All of you," she amended hastily. "I didn't mean- what I meant to say was-"

It was impossibly funny to hear _Aeris_, of all people, stumbling over her words. "You don't have to explain, dearheart. I know exactly what you meant." 

"Reno, I think you have the wrong idea-"

"Sleep tight, shnookums," he whispered, then hung up the PHS before she could say anything, laughing quietly to himself.

But after his first moment of glee subsided, his former dark disposition quickly set back in. He tucked the PHS in his pocket, wishing he hadn't hung up so soon. Teasing Aeris took his mind off the morbid depression that had been eating at him for some time.

Reno sighed, rubbing one hand over his face. He was so damn tired of everything. He didn't even care about the world anymore. Let Jenova have it, if she wanted. Hell, it hadn't been especially great to _him_. 

Not only that, but Sufur sounded like far more trouble than he was worth. He knew Aeris hadn't told him everything. All those little pauses hesitations in her speech- she was weighing the facts, deciding what to tell him and what not. What the hell did she need to hide from him?! Angrily he slammed the railing again, welcoming the stinging pain. She had no right to hide things from him!

Better not to go back to the others. He was too wound up. Deciding a walk would clear his head, he swung his legs over the airship railing and disappeared into the night.

******

Reno walked as fast as he could without actually running, acutely aware that this was the worst way to solve his problems. Running around in the middle of the night, losing more sleep than he could afford, was not any way to improve a situation. 

But maybe thinking about them was.

He started with the foremost: An emotion that was so unwanted it had taken him a good amount of time to admit it to himself.

Loneliness.

When Heantha had died, there had been a hole inside he simply could not fill. And he'd tried- first with booze, then with violence. Oh, he'd been lucky to be a Turk at that time. Hell, he'd gotten paid for something he'd enjoyed!

And it had worked, for a while. Losing himself in the glory of evil, he'd begun a steady downward spiral into self-destruction. He'd have welcomed death gladly, at that point. But he could not kill himself. Weakness? Yes, that was probably it. But, anyway, why bother? Why kill yourself, when you could kill so many others?

But all that had changed when Sephiroth murdered Aeris. Something about that whole, awful moment touched a place inside of Reno, made him realize what he'd become. In a sudden desire for absolution, he'd assisted AVALANCHED in reviving the half-Cetra. He'd thought he was through with AVALNCHE then. No debts to repay, and certainly no real friends to hang onto.

Then Aeris had stepped into the picture. Again. A chance meeting in the slums of Midgar- that was all it took to start the ball rolling again. Only this time the war had been more personal. This one had taken what was left of his barriers and smashed them. 

Aeris was his first true friend in AVALANCHE. She hadn't liked him at first, but she was a perceptive person. She'd found out about Heantha, dragged the whole wretched story out of him. He hated telling her about himself, showing weakness, but in a way it had also been a kind of relief. A relief that scared the hell out of him. 

Showing emotion left him wide open for more hurt. And, inevitably, it had come.

He hated loneliness. It was the most weak and vulnerable of all emotions! Well, other than actual love. 

"I can deal with it," he muttered to himself. "I just won't be very happy while I'm dealing with it, that's all." 

Suddenly turning, he looked for the airship. It was nothing but an obscure shape some ways away. He'd traveled quite a distance already. It wouldn't help him at all to get lost.

Of course, he still wasn't feeling any better. He didn't want to go back to see how happy Cid and Shera were together, all lovey-dovey. Normally he wasn't prone to jealousy, but the feeling had been surfacing quite often of late. 

__

Well, let's think for a moment. What's an obvious solution? 

Tifa would likely maim him if he pulled a move on her. And as for Aeris…

Any time he even _hinted _at being something more than friends, he was greeted with laughter. It wasn't that Aeris was callous, far from it. It was simply the fact that she never knew whether he was kidding or not. For fear of risking her friendship, he didn't try to clarify things further. 

Besides, he laughed as often as she did whenever he joked about the two of them. The whole idea was so completely absurd, so preposterous-

No, best not consider it. 

And all his personal problems were nothing compared to the real threat. But, strangely, he couldn't care less about Jenova. Yes, he knew they needed to take her out, and yes, she did deserve it, but she was so otherworldly the whole dilemma just seemed rather pointless. Reno reacted better to situations right in front of him, not miles away.

Of course, there was Darryn. _He_ was something to worry about. Just the knowledge that he was out there was more than a little disturbing. 

In fact…

A sudden blow to the back of his knees buckled his legs and he fell forward, gasping. Another heavy blow to his head made him collapse completely. He struggled blearily to focus as a dark figure stepped in front of him.

"Your skills still aren't as sharp as they used to be, Turk."

Then blackness.

****

Now, before you start hurting me, he's FINE, darn it! And yes, Vincent/Yuffie? Not very original, but I had to do SOMETHING with them! Cuz I luv Vinnie! BTW, next chapter might come sooner if I get lots of encouragement via reviews…HINT, HINT…

BYEEEEEE!

~Lila


	14. Captives!

Chapter 18:

Chapter 13:

Captive!

"Here sighs and cries and wails coiled and recoiled on the starless air, spilling my soul to tears. A confusion of tongues and monstrous accents toiled in pain and anger. Voices hoarse and shrill and sounds of blows…tumult and pandemonium that still whirl on the air…"

~Dante Alighieri

Everyone was quiet as the five of them stepped into Rocket Town. Yuffie appeared to be in a black mood, and the kids seemed reluctant to talk. Vincent was also silent, but this at least was usual, so Barret didn't say anything. 

The town, too, was silent. There were people around, but they went about their business hurriedly, their heads ducked low.

At fist glance, Barret immediately suspected. The Sresla was here. He looked at the others to see if they'd noticed anything, but if they had, they gave no indication by the expression on their face. 

"Daddy," -Marlene screwed up her face- "something smells bad."

She was right. Barret recognized that smell all too well. It was the stench of death, the decaying of corpses rotted by sickness. 

"Yuffie," he said quietly, trying not to alarm anyone, "take the girls to the inn. Don't book a room. Jus' wait for me there."

Yuffie turned obediently and walked away, expecting Marlene and Adine to follow. They did, after a look at Barret's face.

"Vincent, you wit' me."

Vincent's red eyes darted back and forth, sizing up Rocket Town. "We should leave. This place is a death trap."

"I know, but we can't leave right yet. Cid an' Shera hafta know what's goin' on."

Vincent nodded assent.

"Yo!" Barret stopped a passing man. "What's happened?"

"The man was tall, not as tall as Barret, and not nearly as muscular. He backed up a step. "You travelers?"

"You could say that." Barret didn't like the way the man was looking at them. "We from AVALANCHE. Now what's happened?"

The announcement didn't have the effect he'd hoped. The man's eyes narrowed at the mention of AVALANCHE, and his mouth pursed, as though he'd tasted something sour. "Sickness," he said shortly. "A plague. The town was stricken just three days ago, and already we're half the population we used to be." He turned away, but Vincent grabbed his arm. The man gasped a bit at his chill touch.

"Was there a woman here?" Vincent demanded.

"Wha-" The man tried to pull away, but Vincent held him fast. "Woman?"

Vincent tightened his grip. "Lives depend on this, you fool!" he said tersely. "Was there a woman here, with long black hair? In a purple gown?"

Barret watched as the man sputtered, trying to remember. He wondered if a bit more intimidation was in order, then decided against it. Vincent seemed to be doing a well-enough job.

"I-I think Dale might've mentioned a woman in a purple gown," the man stammered. "But she left-"

"When?!" 

"Ju-just a few days ago-"

Vincent released his hold, making the man stumble backwards. He turned to Barret, not looking at him. "We're too late."

Barret heaved a sigh. "How're we gonna tell Cid an' Shera?"

Vincent shrugged, then turned back in the direction of the inn. "Let's get the others and leave."

"Yo," Barret said, catching up with him. "Why'd you ask him about Jenova? Nobody said anything 'bout her in Wutai."

"It never occurred to anyone in Wutai," Vincent answered evenly, not losing a stride. "I've been thinking about this for some time. Jenova was in Midgar when it started. Maybe she can use her physical presence to start the sickness in places, then let it loose."

"Kinda like wildfire," Barret said, in a sudden flash of understanding. "Once you light the match, you don't hafta wait around for it to burn everythin' in its path."

Vincent nodded, then dropped the matter abruptly. "In here." He pushed open the door to the Rocket Town inn.

The girls were standing in a corner. When Yuffie saw them, she stood up.

"Barret, I think you should talk to the innkeeper," she said in a low voice. "Right now."

Not liking the look on her face, Barret strode to the desk. As he got close, he saw the man from before was there, speaking vehemently with the proprietor. When the owner caught sight of Barret, he stepped toward him, a somber expression on his face.

"Traveling, sir?"

"The hell's all this about?" Barret could feel his rage rising.

"I'm afraid you may be stuck here for a while, sir." The innkeeper gave an uncertain smile, as though he wasn't sure whether he should look apologetic or optimistic. "Rick tells me you're from out of town." He gestured to the other man. 

"So what?" Vincent and Yuffie came to stand beside him. They didn't look happy.

"Tell 'em, Dale," Rick snapped when the innkeeper shifted uncomfortably. 

Dale spread his hands helplessly. "I'm very sorry, sir. Perhaps you already know this town is contaminated? We're allowing no one to leave for fear of spreading the disease."

"You don't understand!" Yuffie blurted. "We _have _to get back-"

"_Have _to, missy?" Rick, it appeared, was a good deal more courageous when with Dale (and a safe distance from Vincent). "_Have_ to? The only 'have to' is our 'have to'- that you have to stay here! We can't risk spreading this disease!" 

"Trust us, it's already spread," Vincent said quietly. 

"Well, we can't spread it more!" Dale snapped.

Suddenly, Barret remembered something. "Hey, we from AVALANCHE. Cid Highwind- your Captain- is in an airship pretty damn close by. We need to get back to him."

"Highwind?" Rick sneered. "He left us just as soon as it suited him. No strings attached with _him_. When he decided to move on, he left, and while he was gone, this happened to us. So you'll pardon us if we don't allow his friends to contaminate everyone else on the planet!"

"Cid saved your lives!" Yuffie yelled. "How can you be so selfish?!"

Dale raised an eyebrow. "Selfish? You're the ones who're selfish. Think about healthy people who are going on with their lives. We aren't asking you to do something unreasonable. I'm sure you'll agree."

Barret looked at Vincent and received a nod in return. He raised his gun-arm. He didn't want to hurt anybody, but… "What if we force our way out?"

On cue, Vincent's gun spun into his hand. Yuffie's shuriken whipped up in a defensive posture.

Dale still looked calm. Rick pulled back the edge of his coat to expose a gun of his own. "I think you'll meet with some resistance." 

"It's three to one," Yuffie growled. Dale glanced to her, then to the two children behind her. 

"I don't think that's a very good idea," he said softly, his eyes meeting Barret's. "This is a very small and confined area. What if a…stray bullet…happened to hit one of the children?"

Barret went rigid. "You son of a bitch."

Dale smiled faintly. "Be that as it may, the advantage lies with us."

"Barret," Yuffie whispered. "What do we do?"

Barret didn't answer her. What the hell was there to do? 

Vincent lowered his gun. "Be grateful if we don't kill you once we get out of here!" he hissed.

Rick let the edge of his coat drop back to cover the gun. He sighed a little. "No need to worry." Sadness was evident in his voice. "None of us are getting out of here. At least not alive."

*******

"On your feet!"

Something hit him, hard. Reno woke abruptly. Someone was yelling his name. He felt pain on the back of his head, but it was distant, reserved. He forced himself to open his eyes. 

"Finally," said the first voice. "Get up, Turk." 

Bewildered, Reno looked around. He was on the floor of the Operation Room in the _Apocalypse_. How had he gotten there?

Someone was still yelling his name. Was it Elena? It sounded like Elena. He tried to say her name; tried to tell her to shut up, but when he moved his lips a low groan was all that came out. 

The first grating voice swore roughly. A hand grabbed him by the collar, hauling him to his feet. The sudden movement made his head spin, his vision blur. A far-off part of him wondered if he'd been drugged.

The same callused hand slapped him in the face, twice. When he started to slide back to the floor the hand grabbed him and jerked him back up.

A dirty face came close to his. "Don't you slip away on me, you bastard."

Darryn. 

The previous event rushed back to his mind. His vision cleared. He looked back at the leader of the Hunters with cold contempt.

"Good." Darryn shoved him back again.

"Leave him alone!" It was Elena again. Reno jerked his head toward the sound of her voice.

"Elena?!"

She was on the floor at the opposite side of the room. Her wrists and ankles were bound together. She was glaring hatefully at Darryn's back.

Darryn slowly turned. "What did you say to me?"

__

Shut up, Elena, Reno thought desperately. _For once in your life just shut the hell up!_

"I said to leave him alone," she said deliberately, looking at him as though he was mentally impaired. "You're a sick twisted animal who should've by rights been shot a long-"

She was cut short as Darryn grabbed her by the throat, lifting her to eye level. His powerful muscles flexed as he tightened his fingers around her neck. "I wouldn't be one to talk, girl. Animal or not…I'm the predator, and you're my prey."

She couldn't speak, but her eyes alone conveyed the fury she was feeling. When Darryn yanked her closer to make his point, she spat in his face.

With a yell of rage, Darryn threw her with all his strength. Reno heard the crack as her head hit the wall. 

Before he knew what he was doing, Reno jumped Darryn from behind, slamming them both to the floor. Darryn fell on his stomach and lay there a moment, wind knocked out of him. Reno took advantage of this and pummeled him relentlessly, hardly aware of his actions. He felt as though he was a spectator, watching a highly enjoyable movie.

After a moment, someone, most likely a Hunter, pulled him off Darryn, holding him by the arms. Reno struggled at first, but another wave of dizziness overtook him. He hung limply as Darryn stepped in front of him.

"You never give up, do you Reno?" he said quietly, wiping blood off his face. "You never know when to quit." Without warning he punched Reno in the gut. The force of the blow would've knocked him down, had he not been held up by one of the Hunters. "Never - do - that - again!" Darryn grunted, adding more punches to emphasize each word. He continued to take his anger out on Reno until, very suddenly, he stopped, turned, and walked out of the room. 

"Guard them," he called over his shoulder. "And let them talk. I want our favorite Turkey to know the exact situation."

When Darryn was gone, the Hunter dropped Reno and went to stand by the door, watching them closely. Reno didn't move for a minute as he tried to get his breath back. It didn't seem to be coming.

He heard Elena crawling toward him. "Come on, Reno, get up," she begged. "We need to do something."

He made an attempt to move. All at once his stomach heaved and he retched violently, vomiting until he was dry. Elena helped hold his head steady. When it was over he leaned back, exhausted. 

"Tell me what happened," he whispered.

She nodded, pushing her hair away from her face. It was matted with blood, and she had a bad cut over one eyebrow, but appeared to be all right. "They surprised us. This group of men- there must have been at least thirty! -came suddenly, bringing you with them. I think they must've done something to you, maybe sedated you, because you were out cold. Anyway, there were too many. We fought, and got a few, but they threatened to kill you. There wasn't much point in resisting, anyway. We had no chance."

Reno cursed his incompetence viciously. His own stupidity had sentenced them all to death. Why hadn't he stayed close to the airship?

"What do they want?" he asked dully.

She didn't look at him. "The _Apocalypse_."

"Then why keep us?" He knew: It was simply Darryn's style. Darryn liked to be an asshole for the hell of it.

"I think he wants us, for some reason," she said, shrugging.

He didn't press the issue, but moved on. "And the others? Where are they?"

"Cid and Shera are at the bridge," she said, leaning back on her heels. "They took Rude off somewhere. They bound me up and left me here. I don't know why."

He did. _Poor Elena,_ he thought sadly. Poor, naïve Elena. He hoped they didn't have in mind that he thought they did. He said nothing, not wanting to frighten her.

"Reno, we have to get out of here," she said tersely, leaning close to him. "We don't know what they could be doing to Rude, or Cid and Shera. They haven't tied you up, Reno! You can get us out of here!"

She was getting excited over nothing, as usual. Hadn't she noticed he could barely speak? "Elena, they didn't tie me up because I can't move!" 

She looked at him in shock. "We have to do something!"

"It was you who said we have no chance against them."

She scowled darkly. "Reno, what's the matter with you?"

He glanced to the guard at the door, then back at her. His voice was heavy with meaning. "_I can't say_." 

Her eyes went wide. After a second, she burst into hysterical tears and fell against him, sobbing into his shoulder. Reno had no idea of whether she was simply a terrific actress, or just letting out feelings of pent-up rage and stress. Either way, it worked as he'd planned.

He held her against him and whispered in her ear. "Why Elena, you're not as stupid as I thought. The tears are a good effect."

"Shut up!" She whispered back furiously. "Do you have a plan or not?"

"Yeah…keep bawling. He's looking over."

She let out a fresh howl in his ear. "What are we going to do?"

Reno told her.

*******

Darryn slammed the controls in frustration. "All right, who designed this flying piece of shit?!"

"I did," Cid scowled. "It's not my fault if you're too damn stupid to figure out the system."

Darryn grabbed a fistful of his shirt. "Don't make me lose my temper, pilot. You'll find I resort to violence rather quickly."

Cid wished fervently for his spear. One of the Hunters had taken it, and now had it trained on Shera, who was back against the wall. He hadn't the slightest notion how to use the weapon, and was holding it all wrong. Cid scowled. His Venus Gospel was not a frickin' toy! And neither was his ship.

"You're a dead man if you think I'm going to let you hit that dashboard anymore. Those things are delicate, dammit!"

Darryn didn't release his shirt. "The only reason _you're_ not a 'dead man', Highwind, is because I need you to fly this thing." He shoved Cid into the pilot's seat. "Start it up."

Cid simply stared at the controls. He folded his hands obstinately in front of him. "Make me."

"All right." He felt the cold muzzle of a gun pressed against the side of his head. "How's this?" 

Cid turned to glare at Darryn. "If you're going to bluff, at least do it convincingly. Threaten to maim me. Break my legs. Just don't pretend you're gonna kill me."

Darryn smiled. "What makes you so sure I'm bluffing?"

Cid sighed. This guy was too damn _stupid_. "You need me to fly the airship, dumbass." 

Darryn nodded gravely. "You're right. I can't kill you." He whipped around, cocking the gun at Shera. "But I can kill her."

Shera froze. Her only movement was the quick rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. Her eyes darted from Cid to Darryn. She was obviously terrified, but trying not to show it.

Darryn favored him with a grin. "To be sure there are no misses, I can have Mr. Sykes hold her for me." He snapped his fingers. The man with the Venus Gospel wrapped an arm around Shera's throat in a headlock, holding Cid's own spear under chin.

Darryn's voice was mocking. "How would you prefer her to die, Highwind? Stabbed? Or shot?"

"Let her go." Cid's voice was colder than ice. 

"Fly the ship." So was Darryn's.

Slowly, resignedly, Cid worked the familiar controls. The Apocalypse rose into the air.

"Where to?" Cid asked wearily.

****

I'm sorry I haven't written forever, everyone! I've had a lot of h/w. (Yeah, yeah, the same old excuses). Well, I wanted an action scene, so I made one. Things were getting a little dull, eh? (Great, I'm starting to sound like Casey!) Well, have a great day, and don't forget to review!

~Lila 


	15. All in a Day's Work

Chapter 14: 

Chapter 14:

All in a Day's Work

"Cheer up! The worst is yet to come!"

~Philander Johnson

The guard was somewhat handsome, in an unshaven, scruffy kind of way. Elena tried to console herself with that. She didn't like Reno's plan one bit, but she didn't have a better one, and they were out of options. She glanced at Reno. He raised an eyebrow, as if to say, "You gonna do it or not?"

"I have about as much experience seducing people as you!" she hissed.

He smirked. "Then I'm sure you'll be fine."

She got to her feet, hating Reno, but knew he was right. She approached the Hunter standing in front of their door. He was their second one in under an hour. Apparently the Hunters got bored easily and could always bully someone else into doing disagreeable tasks.

He regarded her with a calm expression, arms folded across his chest. This was not going to be easy. 

She coughed softly, trying to sound feminine, but ending up sounding like she'd swallowed a frog. He looked bored.

"What do you want?"

Her mind raced. What did she want? "Some attention." Well, that was true enough. "You're so…so handsome, I can't keep ignoring you." How original.

He yawned. "You're a prisoner, remember?"

She was losing his interest. How was it Reno had said to handle this? _Have a little fun. _Well, the crying had worked…

She closed the distance between them. "But I may as well make the best of an awkward situation," she cooed, playfully walking her fingers up his chest. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Reno get up and creep toward the window.

She brushed back his hair with her fingers. He looked young to be with this band of lunatics. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-four." He didn't stop her from caressing his hair. 

"I see." Reno had reached the window. She moved slightly to block him from view. "And what's your name?"

"Stephen."

"Stephen." She said the named deep in her throat, making it sound sensual. "I'm Elena."

Reno had unhinged the latch. He started to open the window, making a loud squeak.

Stephen started to look over. Elena grabbed his chin in her hand, forcing his attention back to her. "Look at me, Stephen."

Reno continued opening the window. It sounded louder than a freight train.

Stephen tried to pull away, but Elena wrapped an arm around his neck, kissing him passionately. _Results, _she told herself,_ are what count. _

Reno had gotten the window up. It was about a twenty-foot drop to the ground, but they didn't really have a choice. He turned just as the door burst open. 

Three large, course Hunters came in, shoving Stephen aside. "You've had your share, Stephen," one said. "You've could've had her ten times by now."

Another grabbed Elena roughly, running his fingers through her blood-matted hair. "Looks like the boss has been having fun with this one. Ah, well. There's still plenty left to do with her!" He pressed her face to his mouth, holding her by the hair. Elena kicked and spat, but he was stronger. 

That was before Reno strode over, pulled Elena aside, and punched him in the face. The man stumbled back, blood streaming from his nose.

It had happened so quickly none of the Hunters had reacted. Now they did. One cocked a gun at Reno, but Elena slammed her shoulder into him, sending him sprawling. The last man jumped her, slamming her to the floor. The first, blood still flowing from his nose, went for Reno, drawing a knife. The Turk dodged, and the knife slammed into the wooden meeting table. While the Hunter was still trying to get it out when Reno slammed his locked hands into his back. The man fell. Reno grabbed him by the hair, pulled him up again, and punched him again in the face, making sure he broke the nose this time. He threw him to the floor and went to help Elena. 

She was down, struggling with the man who'd thrown her to the floor. He yanked her head back as far as it would go, holding a knife to her throat. Elena screamed.

Reno went to help, but the guy Elena had knocked down grabbed him from behind. They fell, grappling. 

Elena was sure she was going to be killed, but the pressure on her suddenly lifted. She jumped to her feet. The man who'd been on top of her was dead, his throat slashed from ear to ear. Stephen stood over him, holding her adversary's own knife.

"Stephen…why…" Her voice didn't seem to work.

He winked at her. "Let's just say you're a beautiful woman." He tossed the knife to the dead man. "And I had a score to settle with that guy."

The airship gave a lurch as it rose into the air. Reno threw the man off him with a yell. The Hunter's head struck the side of the table as he fell, knocking him unconscious. Reno didn't notice. "We're moving!"

He tried to get to the window, but the last man, the one with the many injuries to the nose, grabbed him. Elena ran up and broke between them, kicking the surprised man as hard as she could in the groin. "_That's_ for what you were going to do to me!" 

"Damn!" Reno yelled from the window. "We're too high!" 

There was a pounding at the door. "What's going on in there?!"

"No choice. Get out of here!" Stephen shouted. 

Elena turned to Reno. "He's right."

Reno groaned. "I am not up for this." He clambered onto the sill, balancing for a moment, then grabbed a metal projectile on the outside of the ship. The wind felt as though it'd tear the skin from his face.

"Hurry, Reno!" Elena called, sounding a bit desperate. He grabbed another handhold and pulled himself along. 

The _Apocalypse_'s design was unusual, to say the least. Because of its huge structure, the entire outside surface was made for clambering around, so that Cid and his men could get their work done without needing outside help. Reno had never felt more grateful for Cid's obstinacy to do things the conventional way. 

By chance he looked down. Towns were tiny specks, and the jagged mountains up ahead were about even with the airship. A map. The ground looked like a damned map in a book. His stomach lurched with the ship. He had to stop and close his eyes a moment, for fear he would throw up again. He didn't know what it was Darryn had given him, but the next time he saw the Hunter he would kick his ass for messing him up like this. The fight had sapped most of his strength. It seemed it was pure determination that kept him hanging on the ship at all. 

"Reno!" It was Elena. When he turned back to look at her, he saw by her white face that she was as terrified as he. "Don't you dare die on me. I still have to kill you for this!"

He smiled. "You did quite a job on that Stephen guy," he replied, having to shout over the wind. "I think you'll make a better seductress than me."

She shouted something else, but he couldn't hear her. That was probably a good thing. 

Okay, what to do. They obviously couldn't hang out on the outside of the _Apocalypse _forever. They had to get back inside. Where would there be an entrance from outside to in?

Then it hit him. Of course.

Reno slowly started moving down, towards the belly of the airship. This was a whole new terror of its own, because he couldn't see to be sure where to put his legs, and one wrong step would be fatal. 

_It could be worse, _he told himself. _Ultima Weapon could still be running around loose. _

Somehow that didn't help.

He glanced down to see how much progress he'd made. Almost none. 

"Oh, hell," he muttered. He glanced up at Elena. Her legs were trembling. "We're going to loop around underneath," he called up to her. "Through the hatch to the engine room!"

"What if there isn't one?" Her voice was shaking like the rest of her. 

Then they were screwed. "There will be," he assured her. There had to be.

As he started moving again, Elena screamed and lost her hold. She crashed on top of him, managing to grab him around the neck and hang on. He tried his best to cling to the slippery metal, but her weight dragged him down as she clutched at him in panic. 

"Elena! Hang on!" he shouted, afraid she might let go to save him. If she died he would never forgive himself. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, choking him, and his fingers were slipping…

The airship banked, making a sharp turn to the right, and all at once they were falling. Reno heard Elena screaming, and was dimly wondering if the others would ever find out what had happened to them, when they landed on something hard. But it wasn't the ground.

It was once of the smaller support wings of the _Apocalypse_. Reno had never felt so lucky. He thought he might kiss Cid the next time he saw him. Immediately he took that thought back. 

While Reno felt elated, Elena was sobbing. She still had her arms wrapped around his neck. She was still choking him.

"Elena," he said, easing her arms away from his throat. "It's okay."

She gave a little wail and clung to him. She was a pitiful sight; her wind-mussed hair still matted with blood, her entire body trembling. Reno let her cry a moment, but they couldn't stay out here any longer. He pulled away.

Where was the hatch? It had to be there. They had survived, so it had to be there. He looked to each side and above them. No hatch. Then he looked below, underneath their wing. He thought he might cry, too.

Reno had never seen anything so beautiful as that six-foot diameter hatch. He decided to kiss Shera instead of Cid. He glanced at Elena. She didn't look up. 

"Elena! I found the hatch!" He grabbed the edge of the wing with hands, allowing the rest of him to dangle in space. Then he swung into the wall of the ship, kicked the latch of the hatch with his foot, and dropped neatly inside. As he got up he saw Elena timidly poke her tear-streaked face over the side of the wing. 

"I can't," she whispered with horror.

He held out his arms. "I'll be right here to catch you, Elena," he said patiently. When she didn't move he added, "Hey, the last thing you want to do is stay there, right?"

Slowly she grabbed the edge with her hands. When she swung down the shock of her own weight almost made her lose her hold. She screamed. "Reno, I'm going to die!"

He rolled his eyes, but inside he felt sick. "You can't die, Elena. What if I need you to seduce someone else?" There was a note of desperation in his voice. He hoped she wouldn't notice. "And you still need to kill me, remember?"

Her feet caught him squarely in the chest, bowling him over. His head hit the floor with a crack. He winced. "Thanks."

"Sorry." She helped him to his feet, then closed the hatch while he rubbed the back of his head. When it was securely shut she leaned against it, letting out a long sigh. "I can't believe we survived that."

He grinned. "All in a day's work for a Turk."

She groaned. "I think I'll resign."

"Me, too."

*******

Rude struggled against the ropes, but they held tight. This wasn't the first time he'd been tied up, but it was certainly his first experience being lashed to a chair. He decided he didn't like it any more than what he was used to.

Quite a few Hunters were in the common room, but only one was actually guarding him. This one sat (_he_ wasn't tied) in a chair opposite him, tossing a knife in the air and catching it by a bone handle. He paused to grin at Rude, showing yellowed teeth. 

"Darryn will be here soon. Then the fun will begin."

Rude said nothing, but he was wondering if all the Hunters were this unoriginal. He listened to the others in the room, most already drunk, carousing and laughing at the bar. He scoffed inwardly. Just mindless automatons, following the will of the leader. Most didn't even know why they had captured this airship.

****

~A note from Lila- My apologies for interrupting, but I wanted to point out a bit of obscure symbolism. Does that last paragraph sound FAMILIAR, Turks fans? *pauses meaningfully* Thank you for your time. ~ 

  
His guard stood slowly, holding the knife in his left hand. The pale skin contrasted sharply with his dull, close-cropped black hair. This, as well as the smell emanating from his body, made Rude christen him "Corpse". 

Corpse glowered at him from beneath his heavy brow. "You _will_ answer Darryn's questions." He tossed the knife very close to Rude, catching it just before it could slash the Turk's face. "Are we clear?"

Rude didn't bother answering. With a snort of derision, Corpse gave the chair a shove, making it rock unsteadily. Rude planted his feet on solidly on the floor to stabilize himself as Corpse went back to his seat. 

There was a sudden commotion among the drunken Hunters at the bar. One jumped up on the counter, waving something around in his hand. "Hey, lookee here! I'm a Turkey!"

The Hunters roared with laughter. Rude's heart sank at what he had in his hand: It was Reno's nightstick. Now that he was looking, he saw a heap of their weapons on the floor near the bar; they must have stashed them here. 

The door suddenly slammed open and Darryn strode in. The Hunter with Reno's nightstick fell off the counter, cursing fluently.

"Everyone out!" Darryn roared. "And leave the loot." He snatched the nightstick from the Hunter's hands and gave him a kick to get him moving. "I need time to question our prisoner."

Corpse started to creep out, too, but Darryn pulled him back by the collar. "You stay," he ordered, throwing him in his chair.

Rude watched all this silently. So…this was the man who was obsessed with Shinra. This was the man who'd left the bodies in the laboratory. This was the man in control of their ship. 

He was built stockily and rather on the short side, with stringy brown hair and murky hazel eyes. He was dirty and unshaven, with yellowed fang-like teeth. His temper was swift and violent, his movements fervent and quick. _He's more animal than human, _Rude thought, unconsciously echoing Elena's earlier words._ Except he doesn't kill because he perceives a threat, he kills for fun. _

When the room was empty, save Darryn and Corpse, and of course Rude, Darryn shut the door. He turned to Rude, smiling. "We have the rest of the night, Turk. I can wait a good amount of time for you, but I'd prefer not to. You'll just make it harder on yourself if you don't cooperate."

Rude said nothing. He would never cooperate with this beast.

Darryn shrugged. "Suit yourself." He fell silent for a moment, drumming his fingers on the knife handle at his belt, letting the silence build. Suddenly he straightened. "What do you know of Rufus Shinra?"

Damn. This had to be the guy who'd jumped Reno in his apartment. The one who wouldn't listen to reason. Anything Rude said would only intensify his hunger. 

Darryn smirked, surprisingly calm. "Not answering, are you? I've dealt with your type before." He drew his fist back slowly, then paused and turned to Corpse. "Remove his sunglasses. I don't wanna smash them." He smirked. "They look expensive."

Corpse took the shades from Rude's face and put them on. Rude thought he looked terrible in them, but didn't voice his opinion.

When Darryn slammed his fist into Rude's face, the Turk still made no sound, despite the sudden raging pain. He knew he was only making things worse for himself, but he would not let this pig have more satisfaction than necessary.

The leader of the Hunters stepped back to appraise his work. "Hmph. Shoulda let you keep those glasses…you'll need 'em soon!"

So he had a black eye. If Darryn thought this was all it would take to break him, he was mistaken.

Darryn put his hand to his belt again. "Maybe it's time for a more…persuasive…approach." He drew the dagger.

Just then, the door burst open. It was one of Darryn's men, looking thoroughly agitated. "Boss!"

Darryn whirled around, pressing the knife to the Hunter's throat. "I said I wasn't to be disturbed while questioning!"

The Hunter backed up against the wall, Darryn advancing.

"Yes, Boss!" he gushed. "But somethin's happened. They've escaped!"

Darryn froze. "Who's escaped?"

The Hunter babbled something. A thin line of blood welled up where Darryn pressed the knife against his throat.

"Who?!"

"The Turks!" The man got out. "The man and the woman!"

Darryn stood still for a moment, the blood rushing to his face. Then, with a scream of rage, he slammed open the door and left, yelling orders. "Comb the ship_! I want that Turk!_" The man slumped to the floor, quivering.

Rude smiled involuntarily. Leave it to Reno.

Corpse saw him. "You think this is funny, you son of a bitch?!" he roared, making a lunge for him. 

Rude jumped up, twisting around so the chair connected with Corpse's pale jawbone, then brought it back down on the Hunter's head. Corpse went down hard.

Something jumped on him, knocking him to the floor. It was the other man. Blood from the thin gash on his throat dripped onto Rude's face as the Hunter grinned, producing a knife.

Bracing himself, Rude wrenched around, ignoring the pain as the chair dug into his back. The Hunter grunted as the edge of Rude's boot dug into his side. Rude couldn't kick him off; he didn't have a good enough position, but he gritted his teeth and increased the pressure until the Hunter lost the battle and rolled away.

Rude jumped to his feet. The man did, too. For a moment they circled each other warily, then the knife flashed. Rude watched it coming, timing the speed, at and the last second spun around and jerked his arms up. The knife slashed harmlessly through the ropes. The chair fell away.

Now with his arms free, Rude backed away, fists up. The Hunter glared at him and brought up the knife again. With a quick jab of his hand, Rude knocked it away. The man stared, wide-eyed. 

"Never fought a Turk before, have you?" There was grim humor in Rude's voice.

The man panicked and tried to run, but Rude grabbed the chair and hurled it at the man's back. The Hunter fell with a cry of pain. He held up his hands when he saw Rude approaching. 

"Please! Don't hurt me! I was just…I was just…"

Rude grabbed him by the throat, yanking him up. "Where are my friends?!" 

The man jabbered something, but he couldn't say anything coherent. Rude lifted the man in the air. "Answer me!"

The Hunter's eyes rolled back in his head, and he went limp. He'd fainted with terror. 

Disgusted, Rude threw him to the floor and stepped to the door. He started when he felt a cold hand on his arm. A gun cocked right by his ear. 

"Going somewhere?" Corpse whispered.

Rude froze, then, without warning, he grabbed Corpse by the throat and threw him against the wall, with his forearm against the man's throat, blocking his air passage. Corpse's eyes bulged. He tried to bring the gun back up, but Rude forced his trembling arm back down.

"Don't try me," the Turk whispered. "I'm very pissed off right now. All I want is to find my friends. If you help me, I might even let you live." Corpse nodded, sweat rolling down his white forehead. "Now. Where are they?"

"They took the pilot and that mechanic woman to the bridge," Corpse said in a rush. "They left that red-haired guy in the Operation Room until he was ready to be questioned. I think they kept the blond chick with him. Darryn said anyone who wants to can go play with them."

Rude's blood ran cold at the thought of what the Hunters might had done to Elena. "But they escaped?"

Corpse's hands were shaking so badly he dropped the gun. Without taking his eyes from Corpse's, Rude caught it and pointed the barrel at the man's head.

"I don't know," Corpse whined. "I wasn't there. I've told you everything. Please let me go?"

Rude complied, dropping the Hunter on the floor. Not bothering to look at him he went to the little pile where their weapons and materia were stacked. He snatched up Reno's nightstick, two handguns, and a knife. Tucking these items in his belt, he whirled around a fired a bullet through Corpse's skull with his own gun. 

Rude squatted, noting with satisfaction he'd been right- Corpse's gaunt hands clutched a thin piece of razor-wire. The Hunter had intended to strangle him from behind.

Smoothly Rude removed his sunglasses from the dead man's face- the bullet hadn't even scratched them- and put them on. No one touched his shades. 

****

I meant to make this chap longer, Ki, I really did…but FF.Net rebuffed me. How do you like that word, "rebuff"? I just learned it. 

Yes, paying to much attention in English class. We really must fix that. 

Reviews, anyone?

~Lila


	16. Power Failure

Chapter 15:

Power Failure

"And you know I see right through you

When the world gets in your way

What's the point in all the screaming

You're not listening anyway."

~Goo Goo Dolls, Acoustic #3

Reno wiped a hand over his sweating face. He had thrown up again, although this time he wasn't sure if it was because of whatever Darryn had done to him or the aftereffects of the sickening flight. Maybe it was both.

"Are you all right?" Elena sounded concerned. 

He nodded, trying to get his breath back. "I'll be fine. I feel a little better now, anyway." It was true. Mostly.

Elena looked around. "Are you sure this is the engine room?" The floor they were standing on was not exactly a floor. It was a steel platform, connected to a deck of metal grating. Bleeping machines surrounded them. The only light source came from dim ceiling bulbs far above, beyond a series of catwalks over their heads. She could barely make out Reno's face.

He rolled his eyes. "No, it's the bedroom."

She ignored his sarcasm and folded her arms. "All right, Mr. Know-It-All. What do we do now?" 

He frowned for a moment, thinking. "Well, the first thing we gotta do is find the others. And it's not like we can just waltz up there and ask to see 'em. What we need is a distraction."

"Like what?" She sounded skeptical. 

Even in the low light, she could see his grin. "I've got a plan."

She grabbed him by the collar. "If it's anything like your last plan, I'm gonna shove you through that hatch door and laugh as you fall."

His grin grew wider. "If my plan works you won't be able to do that."

"Dammit, _what plan, _Reno?"

He didn't answer, his smile slowly fading. Growing irritated, Elena started to speak, but he snatched her arm and looked hard into her eyes. 

"Someone's coming."

She must have gone white, because he looked sympathetic. "We'll be fine. Follow me." Grabbing her hand, he ducked low and crept along the narrow walkway, the unstable grating quivering under their weight. Elena held tight to his hand, afraid that if she lost him, she'd never find him again in this maze of machines and blackness.

They turned to the left. It was even darker here. Elena was a little nervous. She could not even hear their footsteps over the sound of machinery. She tried to jerk Reno to a stop, but he kept moving. She started to speak. "Reno, what-"

He stopped and yanked her toward him, close enough so that she could feel his breath on her face. 

"Shut up, Elena." His voice was like ice. "If you want to live, just do as I say and shut the hell up."

He released her and started walking again. Elena followed closely, hurt and angry, but still afraid of losing him. Suddenly he ducked behind a whirling piece of machinery. Before she could say anything, he pulled her behind it, too.

"Don't say a thing," he growled into her ear. "Don't move a muscle, or we're dead. Do you understand me?"

Elena nodded, as best she could anyway; he had his hand pressed against her mouth. She knew Reno wasn't angry with her, but still wondered what he was so worked up about…

Until she heard the footsteps.

They were quiet, barely audible over the sound of machinery. Two men, by the sound of it. They were coming closer.

"I don't get why we have to search in the engine room," one of them complained. "There's no way they could have gotten all the way down here."

"Darryn said to comb the whole damn ship," the other retorted wearily. "And I, at least, am a bit concerned about keeping my head. Now shaddup." The other fell silent as they moved past Reno and Elena's hiding spot. When the two Hunters were far enough away Reno spoke.

"Let's go." He stood, but Elena pulled him back. 

"What are you doing!" she hissed.

His expressionless stare left her stone cold. "I'm going to kill them."

"Are you crazy?!" she fairly shouted. Immediately lowering her voice, she whispered heatedly, "Reno, we don't even have any weapons. They've got guns and knives! We don't stand a chance!"

Reno didn't so much as blink. "They're two of Darryn's men."

"Is that what this is about?!" Elena's voice cracked with fury. "Some twisted idea of revenge? Reno, you're going to risk our lives for something that isn't even worth it! What's the matter with you?"

Reno's gaze dropped to the ground. How could he tell her? Killing was what he was, the only thing that seemed to fill the void within him. Some stubborn part of him seemed to insist that as long as he kept doing it, it was all right, it would be justified. 

He recalled the pained mixture of horror and disbelief on Aeris' face when she'd found out how ruthless he really was. _You killed a lot of people as a Turk._

Are you surprised?

N-no…I just never thought about it…

He wondered what she had thought of him before that. Some kind of reverent saint, planting flowers in a church? Stopping would mean admitting he was wrong. Stopping would make him vulnerable. 

Anger roared to life. He seized Elena's wrist, ignoring her cry of pain. "I'm doing this, with or without your help," he said venomously. "But you just remember we're Turks."

She stared coldly into his eyes, but inside she felt sickening fear. R_eno, what happened to you? _Aloud she heard herself say, "You're doing it with my help. I'm not going to just watch while you get yourself killed."

He didn't smile; only nodded and let go of her wrist. She rubbed it, trying to relieve a bit of the pain. He saw what he'd done and offered a quiet apology, all the while thinking hard. At last he turned to her.

"Here's what we're doing. These guys are in a strange place by themselves."

"So are we," she pointed out, but he ignored her.

"Therefore, it won't take a lot to get them to panic. A few sudden noises, maybe wreck some havoc behind their backs…"

"Reno, they've got guns," she reminded him.

At last he smiled, that cocky half-smile she knew so well. "Guns are no defense against two Turks." 

******

Adine stood off to the side while the adults argued. Marlene was being held by her father, leaving other girl by herself. She didn't understand what was going on. She only wanted to sleep. It was past her bedtime. 

Ignoring the grown-ups as they shouted at one another, she opened the door and stepped outside. The night air was chilly. She wished she'd brought a jacket. She rubbed her hands over her arms to warm them. 

It was dark tonight. There was no moon, and the stars were covered up by the clouds. Adine didn't like it when it was this dark out. It was creepy.

She turned to go back inside, but there was a shape blocking the way to the door. Adine stopped short.

"There, there, child," said a voice, smooth as silk. It sounded like a nice woman's voice, and Adine thought automatically of Tifa. She missed her. 

The woman stepped toward her, smiling and extending her hand. "I won't hurt you."

Adine moved back, a little nervous. "Who are you?"

"Oh, of course." A soft, elegant laugh. "You can't see me." A light violet flame flickered above her hand. Adine blinked in surprise as the woman smiled. "There, is that better?" 

The woman was pretty, with long dark hair. Tifa had hair like hers, but Tifa's was brown. Tifa was pretty, too. 

Strange, but this woman didn't look at all like Tifa. Adine found herself backing away.

The woman smiled again. Her smile didn't fit the rest of her. Her smile wasn't pretty at all. "Would you like me to take you to her?"

Funny. Adine hadn't thought she'd mentioned Tifa. She hesitated.

"She's looking for you, Adine," the woman said softly. "She needs you."

Adine's eyes went wide. "Is Tifa hurt?"

"She needs you," the woman repeated, extending her hand again. "Let me take you to her."

Promptly Adine took the woman's hand. It was like grabbing a live wire. She couldn't pull her hand away. She screamed with the pain of it, and with what was going though her mind. 

__

"Cheryl," Daddy said slowly, looking at the man with the gun squarely. "Take Adine and wait over there, please."

Mommy looked more frightened than Adine had ever seen her. She grabbed Adine's hand and pulled her back to the entrance of the alley. A fat raindrop landed on Adine's nose, followed closely by a tear. She didn't understand what was happening, but she knew it was bad.

Mommy stopped when she saw another man standing in front of them, blocking their way. He was wearing a black suit and had chestnut brown hair. He was holding a girl about Adine's own age; but he was not holding her with love, like when Daddy held her. He looked to be holding her simply because it was the easiest way to transport her.

Mommy screamed and let go of Adine's hand, running back to Daddy. She started yelling at the men, yelling at them to let them go. Daddy started talking quietly, but she couldn't make out the words. 

The man holding the girl put her down and walked over to the adults. The girl and Adine looked at each other.

"I'm Adine."

"Marlene."

Marlene wore a pink dress. Her hair was short and dark. Adine stared at her curiously, wishing she could hide her own drab, mud-stained skirt and blouse. "You're not from around here."

"I used to live in Midgar," she replied. "Till me an' my dad moved to Corel."

Adine pointed at the man who'd set her down. "Is that your daddy?"

The strangest look of fear passed over Marlene's face. "No. It's not."

As she said that, the man who wasn't her daddy pulled something from his coat. Shouts…loud gunshots…Mommy and Daddy collapsed, blood flowing, soaking their clothes in red…

Adine screamed now as she did then, only now the pain was physical as well, shooting through her head like sharp knives. She fell to the ground, curling into a ball. She could feel the woman's presence over her; she curled into a tighter ball, sobbing, lest those terrible claw-like hands choose to strike.

Hurt. Everything hurt.

Then everything went black.

*******

"Give me your shoe," Reno whispered, holding out his hand. Elena looked at him in shock. 

"Reno, do you have any idea how expensive these are!" She lifted one foot to demonstrate. "They're my favorites."

He gave her a Look. "We have to be prepared to make small sacrifices-"

"Why can't we just use one of your shoes?" she demanded.

He rolled his eyes. "My shoes don't have four-inch heels."

Cursing under her breath, she yanked open the straps and shoved the shoe into Reno's hands. "They don't make these anymore, I hope you realize!"

Reno grinned. Without the other heel she looked a good deal shorter than he was used to, yet she still acted like a little spitfire.

"What's so funny?" she snipped. Reno realized she thought he was making fun of her. His grin grew wider.

"I was just thinking about how unusual it is, Elena. You're just as beautiful when you're angry as when you're smiling." He leaned close. "Maybe more so."

At first, she blushed furiously, then she scowled again. "Don't you play your tricks with words on me, Reno."

Maybe his charming smile needed work. Reno turned back to business. "C'mon. Let's get closer." He ducked low and crept along, his free hand out for balance. Elena had a harder time of it; she was wearing only one shoe. At last she removed it, to at least make her steps even.

Reno stopped suddenly and dropped to the metal grating, motioning for Elena to do the same. As she sunk down, she caught sight of the two men up ahead- the Hunters. They were searching the room- not very efficiently, but still searching- for both Reno and Elena. One looked into the darker shadows on the opposite side, while the other searched on their side. Elena looked at Reno; the man was uncomfortably close to their hiding spot. He grinned at her and held up the shoe in his hand.

"Watch this," he murmured, indicating the far man. When neither Hunter was looking, Reno stood quickly and chucked the shoe as hard as he could into the oblivious Hunter's head. As the heel found its mark he ducked down again. Elena pressed her hand against her mouth to keep from laughing when the loud curse flooded the engine room.

The other Hunter moved toward the one that was yelling. "What happened, Alek?" 

Alek whirled around. "Paul! What the hell did you do?!"

Paul took a step back, confusion evident on his round face. Reno remembered him as the whinier one. "Nothing, Alek, I just-"

"Well, something happened, dammit! I felt somethin' hit me!"

Paul's eyes darted back and forth. "Alek, you don't mean there's somebody down here."

"Who the hell knows!" Alek shouted. "All I know is something hit me!" 

While the two men were arguing, Reno had been waiting for the right moment. When it came, he winked at Elena, crept across the grating to the opposite side, and hurled the other shoe.

Right before it smashed into the back of Paul's head, Alek reached out and snatched the shoe out of the air. His dark eyes were staring straight at Reno's hiding spot. "There."

Reno looked at Elena. She could see the frustrated anger in his eyes that he got whenever he was caught. _Run_, he mouthed at her. _Get out of here!_

She glanced about, but there was nowhere to run. "We'll have to fight our way out!" she hissed. Reno didn't look any happier, but she saw him crouch in a fighting stance as the two Hunters made their way over.

Alek and Paul loomed over Reno, with their backs to Elena. "Well, well," Alek smirked. "Won't Darryn be glad to see you."

Reno jumped out and launched a kick at Paul's middle. The Hunter fell back, almost on top of Elena. She thrust him aside and into one of the larger whirling machines. His head hit hard metal with a loud clang. Paul slumped down with a groan.

Alek was harder to take care of. He grabbed the back of Reno's jacket and pulled him down, tripping the Turk's legs out from under him. Reno hit the grating hard. "You won't get away this time," Alek warned.

Elena scowled and jumped on the large man's back, pulling him backward with all her strength. Alek flailed wildly, trying to get her off, but to no avail. Reno took the opportunity to smash the heel of his hand into the Hunter's face, then follow it up with a kick in the groin. As Alek fell to his knees, Elena slipped off his back, then finished the job by slamming her elbow down on his skull. He didn't try to get up again.

Reno gave her a high-five. "We'll make a Turk of you yet, woman!"

She smiled, but it lasted only a moment before she remembered their situation. "What now?" 

Reno couldn't seem to stop grinning. "Remember my plan?"

Before Elena could begin to demand an explanation, he'd started up a metal ladder that led up to a series of gangplanks. "The first thing we have to do is find the engine," he called down to her as he climbed.

"Why's that?" She grabbed hold of the ladder and scrambled up after him.

"The distraction I mentioned?"

"Reno, if you're thinking about disabling the engine-"

"That's exactly what I'm thinking."

"Won't it be just as bad?"

He gave her a hand as she clambered onto the first catwalk. "How do you mean?" He started forward, glancing about for signs of machinery. Unlike the level below, there were no strange levers of pulleys around, only free space on either side of the two-foot plank. It made for very treacherous walking. Elena was worried she'd fall off the overpass. There was no room for a wrong step.

"I mean, won't that just let them know where we are? They'll send more guys down here after us, and we'll be trapped."

"It's also our only chance of getting off the _Apocalypse _with our lives."

She sighed, seeing he wasn't about to change his mind. "I guess you're right."

He stopped suddenly, almost causing her to bowl into him. When she started yelling, he turned and shushed her. "I think this is it."

The engine was a large one. Reno knew Cid would want only the best for his precious airship, but it also presented a problem. His initial plan had been simply to yank a few wires, and if possible, shove the entire thing off the upper level. Now he realized it wasn't going to be so simple.

Elena stood beside him, hopping from one stockinged foot to another. "The grating's cold," she complained. He ignored her. 

Reno was having second thoughts about his plan. He was no mechanic; Cid might have known how to merely disable the engine, but he had no idea. He didn't have any weapons to smash the exterior, and he didn't see any wires he could pull without getting electrocuted.

Elena could see the problem and was already looking for a new solution. "Reno, here!" She yanked open the door to a smooth black box on a duct running up the wall, exposing a whole mess of wires and switches.

Reno took a look. "A fusebox," he said thoughtfully. "Even better." With that, he grabbed a handful of colored wires and yanked them out, sending sparks flying everywhere. Elena shrieked when the lights flickered and clutched at his jacket, screaming for him to stop, but Reno didn't pause until all the lights had gone out, plunging them into total blackness. 

"I can't believe you." Elena's voice shook. "We'll never find out way out now!"

She couldn't see his shrug, but knew it was there. "Neither will they."

She sighed, resigned. "I probably shouldn't ask, but…what do we do now?"

"We wait." 

*******

Cid swore and hit the consel. "What the hell!" 

The lights had gone out, leaving them in total darkness. Even the tiny lights on the instrument panel were off. Cid couldn't see his own hand in front of his face.

"What happen, pilot?!" one of the Hunter's demanded. Cid heard Shera cry out as one of them hit her in frustration.

There was a crash as Darryn burst in. How in managed to get his hands around Cid's throat in the pitch darkness was a mystery. "Are you behind this, you bastard?!"

Cid pulled away angrily. "I didn't do anything, dammit!"

"It must have been a power failure," Shera said in her soft voice. Cid turned in her direction.

"How the hell could we have a power failure in the middle of a flight?!" It was just plain luck that made him set an auto-course to Gongaga, which was where Darryn insisted they land. Without it, they would've already crashed into a mountain or something.

Shera crept closer to him, resting her cool hands on the back of his neck. She leaned over his shoulder to whisper. "The switchbox in the engine room, Cid."

Darryn grabbed her roughly, spinning her around to face him. "What did you say, bitch?"

Shera remained silent. Darryn shook her in frustrated rage. "Where's this switchbox?"

"In the engine room," she finally relented. "It's impossible to tamper with the power unless you disable it manually from the switchbox. Someone must have done something."

Cid pulled a lighter from his jacket pocket and clicked it on. In the flickering light from the flame he saw Darryn release Shera and face the two Hunters. "He's got to be down there. I'll bet anything he's got that woman Turk with him, too. Grab your best men and get down there. " He turned his glare on Cid. "I want you to go with them. Get the power back on."

Cid folded his arms. "I can't."

Darryn grit his teeth. "The hell you mean, 'you can't'?! You designed the fucking ship!"

Cid shook his head. "I didn't do the wiring and all that. That was Shera. She knows more than I ever will about the finer details of electricity, power and stuff." Even if it hadn't been true, Cid would have told them so anyway. If they realized how valuable Shera was, they wouldn't kill her. He hoped.

Darryn cursed, but there was nothing to be done. He grabbed Shera's arm in a grip that made her gasp. 

"Don't even think of trying to run away," he hissed. "My men will be 'escorting' you down there, and if they even _suspect _you of trying something, they will shoot you down before you can blink."

She stared back stonily, though Cid knew her well enough to know she was afraid. "If I'm so stupid you have to spell it out for me, why are you sending me down there?"

He snarled and shoved her into the grip of one Hunter, jerking his hand to the door. "Get going."

"Shera!" Cid tried to go to her but Darryn shoved him back in his chair. "Shera…don't do anything stupid."

She didn't reply, only gave him a wordless smile before the Hunters shoved her out the door. Cid felt as if half his heart had gone with her. In a sudden rush of violence, he grabbed Darryn by the collar angrily, looking the other in the eye. 

"If any of them lay a _finger_ on her, I will personally separate your skin from your body. I'll enjoy it, too."

Darryn smirked. "I don't take stock in idle threats."

Cid raised an eyebrow. "That wasn't a threat."

He went back to his pilot's chair and sat down heavily as Darryn stuck his head out the door, yelling at his men. For the first time he seriously considered a course of action he'd been planning for some time. Of course, it would kill them all, but he had to look at things realistically. The world was at stake. He didn't mind giving himself up for the world, but Shera was another matter. 

He lit up a cigarette and inhaled as his mind tried to think of another way out. There wasn't one. He couldn't let his love for Shera put the entire world at risk. 

But could he live with himself, knowing he had condemned Shera to death?

He grunted cynically. He wouldn't have to live very long with the knowledge, anyway.

With a trembling hand, he reached out and began to press the buttons.

****

Hi guys! Sorry about the long wait, I've been spending energy on Casey's Birthday Story. But now that it's done, we can spend more time together. *Grin* Won't that be just great? *dodges flying objects* Oh, and uh…don't hesitate to review! 

~Lila 


	17. Turks on the Loose

Chapter 16:

Turks on the Loose

"When in danger or in doubt

Run in circles, scream and shout."

~Unknown

"Reno!" Elena grabbed at his arm in panic. "I hear something!"

"Something besides all those machines?"

"Yes!" she hissed. "Listen!"

She was right. A woman's voice, very soft. He couldn't quite make out the words, but it sounded like Shera. For a brief moment he wondered if she was coming to look for them, but then he heard another voice, no, two or more. Men.

Hunters.

"They're coming this way!" Elena said urgently, clinging to his arm with a death grip. Reno turned in the opposite direction of the voices. 

"Let's go!"

Elena shrieked and pulled him back. "Reno, it's too dark. These rafters have gotta be fifty feet in the air!"

Reno glanced back. Flashlights were moving up the ladder to their level. He turned back to Elena. "No choice. I think if we get down and crawl along, we should be able to make it."

She obeyed immediately, dropping to her hands and knees, feeling her way along the catwalk. Reno let her get ahead of him, to be sure he was between her and the Hunters. If one of them was to be caught, better him than her. 

What was Shera doing with a band of Darryn's men?

They were moving painfully slow. Reno knew Elena was going as fast as she could without being reckless, but right now he was tempted to be reckless. The flashlight beams were almost upon them.

Then the beams stopped moving and focused on one thing: The fusebox, with its telltale mess of tangled wires. 

"Oh, shit," Reno breathed as he realized the situation. With Shera there as well, things were going to get complicated.

They rounded a corner suddenly, so that the lights were out of sight. Reno grabbed Elena's ankle to stop her from moving. He crept closer and whispered in her ear.

"They found the fusebox. They know we're here. If Shera's with them that means she's here to fix-"

"-Whatever it was that you did," Elena finished for him. "Yeah, I know. What do we do?"

He scowled, even though she couldn't see it. "That's the thing, Elena. There's not going to be a 'we'. I'll get back there, take them by surprise, and get Shera away from them. We'll figure out what to do after that."

"_No_!" she whispered furiously. "You need me, Reno-"

He gripped her shoulders. "Elena, if you've ever in your life listened to me, listen to me now. There won't be enough room for both of us back there. It will be a grapple in pitch blackness. You see what I'm saying? I'll be lucky if I don't accidentally kill Shera. 

"I want you to stay here, where it's _safe_, so you can help us if need be." 

She sighed. "All right," she muttered. "I hate it, but I'll do it." _For a while, _she added silently.

"Thanks, Elena. I know I can count on you." He began backing up, an even more tedious task than moving forward in the darkness. 

Shera was working at the fusebox, holding a flashlight to illuminate her work. Reno counted four more flashlight beams besides hers. Not good odds.

Then he corrected himself. They were on a two-foot wide steel plank. The Hunters could not possibly come at him more than one at a time. Of course, it was a terrible place for a fight, but for now the advantage was his.

He crept closer, hoping they wouldn't be able to hear him breathing. They had to be looking for him. Elena had been right; he'd been _stupid _to think luring them down here would work! And yet…

He was almost upon the first flashlight-holder. The idiot was waving it around like a strobe light, goofing off. Well, he was about to find out why the Turks of Shinra were so feared…

Reno grabbed a thick leg and shoved it off the catwalk. The man gave a hoarse yell, but he couldn't keep his balance. Reno helped him fall by grabbing his other leg and pushing that over the edge, too. He felt hands grabbing at him, but he slid back, out of reach. The man yelled the whole way down until there was a sickening crack, then a groan.

Instantly flashlight beams swarmed over him. Reno didn't wait for them to react. He jumped to his feet and kicked the nearest in the side. The man fell back, but managed to catch himself before tumbling over the edge. Guns were drawn. One pulled a radio from his jacket.

"We need backup, now!" he shouted into it.

Damn. Reno hadn't counted on that. "Shera!" he yelled. "Get out of here!" 

Shera hesitated, but there was nothing she could do without getting in the way. She tossed him her thin aluminum flashlight. "You'll need it!" she called, then turned and ran in Elena's direction.

One of the guys with guns began firing, but she had already disappeared into the darkness. That was when the shots turned on him.

Reno quickly realized the flashlight was giving away his position and switched it off. But he still needed to avoid their light. Deciding to do one thing they would never expect, he put the flashlight between his teeth, grabbed the edge of the gangplank with both hands and swung himself down, allowing all of his weight to dangle over empty space. He felt with his legs for something to stand on, but there was only air. He was too damn high!

Then he got an idea. Quickly he switched one arm to the opposite side of the gangplank, so that he was immediately underneath the steel grating, with both hands gripping opposite sides.

Very slowly, as the lights searched everywhere but his hiding place, he moved his hands along the catwalk, pulling himself along underneath the hunters. When he was far enough behind them, he pulled himself back onto the catwalk. The men were still searching with their lights; they had no idea he was behind them.

Well, that was about to change.

Silently Reno crept toward to nearest flashlight-holder. When he was right behind the man he took his own flashlight from his mouth and looped it around in front of where he knew the man's face was. He switched it on.

"Surprise," he whispered.

The man staggered away from the blinding light, backing right into Reno, which was exactly what the Turk wanted. Reno circled the arm with the flashlight around the man's throat tight, preventing him from making a sound. He switched the flashlight to the other hand and brought the hard metal down on the man's head. The Hunter went limp in his grasp.

Pleased that the first step had gone so smoothly, Reno shoved the unconscious man over the side of the scaffold. 

That was when things began to go wrong. 

A beam of light landed on him, quickly followed by another. Reno tried to dodge, but there was nowhere to go. The more trigger-happy of the two Hunters left started firing again, and one of the bullets found its mark. Reno felt it tear into his flesh, just above the elbow of his right arm. Warm blood oozed down his arm, dripping onto his fingers.

Reno dropped, trying desperately to avoid the rest of the shots. But he knew there was no hope. They had him.

Suddenly, the gun stopped firing. There was a scream from one of the Hunters that was choked off abruptly. Reno could hardly dare to hope.

Elena…?

He got to his feet, ignoring the pain in his arm. There was the sound of footsteps hurrying toward him.

There was nothing he could do. Reno waited in the circle of the flashlight until the dark form of the last Hunter loomed in front of him. Reno moved quickly, but not quickly enough. The hunter charged straight at him, like a bull. There was nothing he could do to avoid the collision.

The force of the man's blow knocked Reno off the catwalk. He almost fell, but was able to grab hold of the edge with his good arm.

"Reno!" It was Elena's voice. "Hang on! Don't-" She broke off with a cry of pain. There was a man's triumphant yell.

"Elena!" he screamed, but she didn't answer.

The Hunter who had knocked him off leered down at him. "Now it's your turn, Turk." He leaned forward and pressed the barrel of his gun against Reno's head. "I think Darryn will be pretty happy with your corpse, don't you?" 

The thought of that man, victorious, was enough to make Reno do it. He looked the Hunter in the eyes, to let him be sure of his intention, then let go of the catwalk. 

He had sworn to himself that he wouldn't make a sound as he fell, but Reno found himself breaking that promise right away. There were just some things that were impossible, and staying silent as you fell fifty feet through pitch blackness was one of them.

Reno felt himself hit the side of a metal gear. His head hit the steel alloy pretty hard, and he was fighting to stay conscious when he realized he was nearly tangled in the rope of a pulley. Quickly he reached out and grabbed hold of the rope with both hands, paying no attention to the pain in his right arm. The rope burned his hands, but it slowed his fall considerably. By the time he'd reached the end of the rope, he knew he was close to the bottom level. Deciding to place his fate once again in the hands of Lady Luck, he let go of the rope.

This time he fell only about seven feet before landing on the now-familiar feel of hard metal grating. He sat there, stunned, for several seconds before fully understanding: He'd made it. He was alive.

Suddenly not caring anymore about the Hunters, he began to laugh out loud. He'd made it. He'd kicked ass. He'd taken a chance and pulled it off frickin' beautifully!

He laughed until the adrenaline, weariness and blood-loss (not to mention the hit on the head) each took their toll, and darkness overtook him.

*******

Elena struggled against the man holding her, but it did no good. His hand was clamped over her mouth, preventing her from making a sound. 

Angrily she shoved her elbow into the man's stomach. He yelped and loosened his hold slightly. As she pushed him off, she saw, illuminated in the circle of light, Reno struggling to cling to the side of the scaffolding. 

"Reno!" she screamed. "Hang on! Don't-"

The Hunter she had thrown off jumped her from behind, slamming her to the floor. A hand pressed down on the back of her neck, shoving her face into the cold grating. 

She had to get to Reno. She tried to force the Hunter off her, but he grabbed her throat, pressing his thick fingers onto her windpipe.

"Elena!" she heard Reno yell. She couldn't answer him; the fingers on her throat prevented any sort of audible response. 

_Come on, Reno! _she thought desperately_. You have to make it…_

Then she heard his terribly long scream, slowly fading as he fell.

When the scream ended she couldn't move. She couldn't even think. Reno was dead. They'd killed him.

In the grip of sudden rage, she writhed and twisted furiously in the man's grip, but he was so much stronger. She managed, however, to wrench away the arm around her throat.

"You killed him!" she screamed as soon as she could speak. "You bastards! You killed him!"

The man grunted when she elbowed him in the face. "Hold still!" 

Yeah, like she'd really listen to him. Elena was rapidly losing control. "You wait'll I-"

Her head was slammed to the grating once more, cutting her off. She was too enraged to even cry out in pain.

Then, a voice. "Elena, look out!"

She heard the man yell when Shera grabbed hold of his hair and pulled. As he lurched away from her Elena slipped out from under him. She used the edge of the catwalk to help her to her feet.

She caught sight of the other Hunter, the one who'd killed Reno. He was waving his flashlight frantically in one hand and held his gun in the other, trying to get a clear shot. 

She didn't even know what she was doing until she'd done it. Elena flew at the man, knocking him on his back with her on top of him. She struck him in the face over and over. This was the man who'd killed Reno. He deserved to die.

He tried to bring up the gun, but Elena grabbed his wrist and slammed it into the grating until he was forced to let go. She seized the gun and cocked it at the man's head.

He blinked up at her stupidly. "Please…" he whispered, blood dripping down his face. "Don't kill me. Don't-"

"Shut up," she whispered venomously. "Shut up! You killed him!"

"I-"

She didn't let him finish, pulling the trigger before she could even think of changing her mind. Dispite her hatred of these people, she was glad it was dark enough to hide the horrible sight of his head blown open. 

"Elena!"

She whipped around, gun in hand. She didn't see the mechanic at first, then waved the flashlight she'd grabbed over to the side. Shera grappled furiously with the last Hunter. Even in the darkness Elena could see the glint of a long knife in his hand.

She shined the light on him to get a good shot with her gun. He noticed, swept Shera aside, and dove for Elena. 

The attack was so unexpected Elena had no time to react. She felt her head hanging over the edge of the gangplank. 

The gangplank Reno had fallen off of. 

She tried to lift her gun, but he had her arm pinned under him. Just that one stroke of terrible luck, and she was about to die.

Elena was so full of dispair. This was what it had all come down to. They were all going to be killed. Not by Jenova, no big heroes' death, trying to save the world. Just by a band of men. Normal humans, their minds so contorted by hatred that they didn't even seem like humans anymore, but just mindless animals. Bloodthirsty, savage animals.

He smiled at her, bringing up the knife.

Shera brought her foot down on the man's spine, hard. When he turned to confront her Shera raked her fingers across his face and throat, her fingernails shredding skin. He screamed and leaped for her. She only dodged, and then the stupid Hunter found that he had leapt too far. He yelled obscene things as he fell, before he was suddenly cut short.

Shera helped Elena to her feet. "Are you all right?"

Elena didn't answer right away. She was staring at the spot where the Hunter had tumbled over the catwalk. Reno had fallen off just like that. Reno had died just like that.

"Elena," Shera said gently. "Look at me."

She couldn't. Her mind felt as if in a haze. Reno was dead. He hadn't even been killed by someone he knew the name of. Just some faceless, soulless person warped by hatred.

Shera grabbed her chin firmly in one hand, forcing the other to look at her. "Elena. Please snap out of it."

Elena looked at the other woman a long time before Shera's words actually clicked into her brain. A thought suddenly occurred to her.

"Oh, shit," she said blankly. "What am I going to tell Rude?"

It was then she started to cry, sinking to her knees to rock back on her heels. "What am I going to tell him?" she wailed. "That his best friend died because I couldn't get to him in time? Because I wasn't strong enough? What is he going to say to that?" Nothing, that was what. Rude wouldn't say a thing, for fear of hurting her. And it was that knowledge that somehow made it all the worse.

Shera hugged her tightly, tears streaming down her face as well. "It wasn't your fault, Elena," she said urgently, feeling the other needed to understand that. "You couldn't have done anything."

"Then why does it hurt so bad?" she sniffed, remembering Reno's last words to her. _I know I can count on you._

Shera didn't know the answer. Feeling she needed to provide at least some shred of hope, she asked, "Elena, are you sure…he's…"

"Yes!" The Turk cried, wrenching away and jumping to her feet. "I heard him scream, Shera! Reno doesn't scream like that unless he's terrified. And I think I'd be pretty damn terrified if I was thrown off a fifty foot beam."

Shera was silent for a moment, fingering her flashlight. At last she said, very quietly: "What now?"

Elena grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. Shera was alarmed by the very dangerous look she saw in the blond woman's eyes. It was as if the cold fingers of dispair had wrapped themselves around her heart, squeezing all warmth from it. There was not a trace of compassion or mercy in her voice when she spoke.

"Now," Elena said coldly, "we kill every last one of Darryn's men." 

*******He opened his eyes to more darkness. It was exactly as though he hadn't woken at all, except now he was aware of the cold metal grating underneath him. Not to mention the burning pain in his arm.

Reno got to his feet, cursing himself for drifting off like that. He had no idea how long he'd been unconscious- it could have been three minutes or three hours. He felt weak and lightheaded, probably from the blood loss in his arm. He couldn't even do anything about that without any materia, and he dared not try to tend the wound until he found some light.

That was first priority. He needed to find a way to fix his arm, then get some light and hopefully some kind of weapon. Sounded easy. 

He snorted. He'd learned something since becoming a Turk- _nothing_ was easy.

At least he wasn't on the catwalk anymore. He did not think he could handle crawling around on his hands and knees in this state. It was a good thing he wasn't right-handed. 

With his good left hand stuck out in front for guidance, he was able to make some sort of progress for a while…until he tripped over something soft. He accidentally used his bad arm to break his fall, causing more pain than if he'd landed on his face. Reno shouted out an obscene curse, more to hear the sound of his own voice than because of the pain, really. Something about the heavy darkness and the silence made him very tense and rather nervous. It hadn't been bad when Elena was with him, but now…

Elena. He needed to find her. Angrily he tried to kick the soft thing out of the way. That was when he realized it was a body.

He fell back on his knees, running his hands over the body. He was relieved to discover it was a man, and therefore not Elena. If it had been her…he didn't want to think about that.

After searching the Hunter's body, Reno walked away with a gun and a flashlight. He didn't turn it on until he was some distance away from the Hunter, just in case the man was merely unconscious, not dead. 

The bone had stopped the bullet, at least. It was a nasty wound, but it would heal with time. Unfortunately, the bullet had gone too deep for him to pry it out himself. He would need help with that. 

Once Reno had wrapped a strip torn from his jacket around the injury tightly, he switched off the flashlight and tucked it in his belt. He wanted to conserve the batteries, and besides, he would rather have the gun out that the flashlight if he ran into Darryn's men. And he was sure he would. The guy with the radio hadn't been calling for an invitation for a tea party. 

It wasn't long before the smothering darkness forced Reno to take out the flashlight again. Reluctantly he placed his gun in his jacket holster, reasoning he could always take it out if he heard noises or saw lights.

This area of the engine room looked similar to where he had been before, but the pathways were different. Reno decided to take it as a good sign- maybe he was close to finding the door back to the interior of the ship.

Then again, if he was near there, he'd surely run into Hunters,

Whenever the path split, he always took the descending one; he'd had enough of fifty-foot catwalks. As he walked, he started to plan.

He needed to find the others. If he couldn't meet up with Elena before very long, he would just have to make his way through the ship, find Cid, and figure out what to do from there. At least, that was what the reasonable part of his mind said. The unreasonable part insisted he find Darryn and make him suffer.

Lights. Coming his way.

Damn.

He ducked to the side, not in the mood to be shot a second time. The flashlight was replaced with the gun. He didn't need to give himself away by shining the light on the target. It was simple enough just to look at the angle of each flashlight to judge where the Hunters were. Reno cocked the gun.

There was a sudden ringing sound. Every single flashlight pointed in his direction. Reno ducked down, hoping he hadn't been seen. The lights were all on a level below his, but he wasn't about to take chances. The ringing didn't stop.

When he finally realized it was coming from his jacket pocket, he swore and grabbed the PHS. "This had better be good!" he hissed into the mouthpiece. "I'm in a shitload of trouble, here!"

"So're we," Barret said harshly. "We need help."

"Oh, good. Get in line." Reno risked taking a peek over his cover. The lights were starting up a staircase, toward him. Damn, damn, _damn_! "Barret, this is a really bad time to talk."

"The Sresla's in Rocket Town," Barret said abruptly. "An' they ain't letting us leave. Some shit 'bout contamination."

"Why don't you just blow their heads off?" Reno growled, raising the gun. He aimed for the lead flashlight. It was still almost forty feet away.

Barret spoke bluntly. "They threatened to kill my daughter."

"Well, threaten to kill their daughters! Or something!" Reno snapped impatiently. "I couldn't care less about you guys right now, and believe me, I'm trying."

Barret muttered a curse. "What the hell is going on over there, anyway?"

"I thought you'd never ask." Reno squeezed the trigger. There was a shout of pain. The lead flashlight clattered to the floor. "We've got guests."

Barret started to swear, but Reno went on.

"The Hunters arrived, overpowered us, and are in control of the ship. Elena and I escaped, had a fun near-death experience, got into the engine room, caused a power outage, and killed a few guys. Then I fell off a fifty-foot beam and am now running around with one gun and a flashlight, trying to snipe people in the dark while I'm talking to you!" By now Reno was yelling. He lowered his voice. "And that's frickin' sugar-coating it."

Barret was quiet for a second before speaking. "Jus' don't tell me you're flying now, cuz we still hafta get out of here."

Reno smiled mirthlessly as he shot down the next Hunter. "That's what I meant when I said I was sugar-coating it."

"Where d'you think you are?"

"How the hell should I know?" Reno tried to think of how the landscape had looked when he'd been outside the airship. "Um…mountains! Jagged gray ones."

"Nibel Mountains," Barret said instantly. "You're headin' southeast."

He fired a third time and missed. The flashlight moved faster, as if the third Hunter was running. Three more were close behind him. "Barret, I really don't give a damn what direction we're going. We need help. Now."

"Reno, the hell you expect us to do?"

"I don't know!" He fired again, hitting his mark this time. "Hah! Gotcha, you ugly bastard!" He tried to fire again, but there was only an empty click. "Damn!"

"Huh?"

"Never mind. Look, I can't talk anymore, okay? Don't call back." He clicked the PHS off and jumped to his feet. The three flashlights that were left were coming closer. Too close. He tucked the PHS in his pocket, being careful not to drop the gun. He would have to move fast, and he couldn't have Barret distract him anymore.

He carefully lowered himself to the floor, backing up a bit. When he had himself in the position he wanted, he put down the gun for a moment, took out the flashlight and switched it on. When he was sure the Hunters were close enough he threw the light in the air. The stupefied Hunter in the lead thought the Turk was coming straight at him. He dropped to the floor instinctively, prompting the others to crash into him. 

Away from the shine of their flashlights, Reno grabbed his gun and took off, running up some metal stairs and around a corner. He heard angry shouts from behind, but didn't bother to look back- if they caught him, they caught him, and there was no need to slow himself down by looking behind. 

Without the aid of light, Reno soon stumbled and fell. Swearing, he rolled away from the shaft of light that passed over him. The pain in his arm was almost unbearable, but Reno preferred it to being caught.

The light flashed over him again. Reno jumped to his feet and swung the empty gun. He felt the hard metal connect with something soft. The Hunter swore and lurched backward. Reno pressed the attack, swinging the gun again. This time, he hit something hard- probably the Hunter's face, judging by the way he was screaming. Reno grabbed the man's flashlight to illuminate his work while he finished the job.

He had wondered, briefly, why only one of the three Hunters had come after him, and why no one had come to help the man, but now he realized that the floor was simply too narrow for more than two people to stand side by side. The other Hunters might have been worried about getting in the way.

He snorted in derision, doubting it. More likely the cowardly bastards had panicked when they heard their friend's screams, not daring to challenge a desperate Turk. 

Reno started to smile as he tossed his useless gun away and grabbed the unconscious- or dead- Hunter's. He picked up the guy's flashlight, too. 

The last two Hunters waved their flashlights in his direction when he called from around the corner, pitching his voice low, like the Hunter's. "Got him!"

"He down, Will?" one said nervously.

Reno kicked the Hunter with the side of his shoe. "Yeah, but the crafty punk almost got me. Handsome devil, too."

If the Hunters thought his comments strange, their relief made them careless, for they came around the corner quickly. Reno let them shine their lights on the body of their fallen ally, allowing the shock to set in before he shot them down.

After adding two more guns to his collection, Reno smiled to himself and waltzed off. It was time to find Elena. 

****

Okay, I'm sorry for dragging on this part forever, but I just love gunfights in the dark so much! Tell you what- if you forgive me, I'll reward you with some nice romantic scenes further on. Unless of course, you prefer the gunfights in the dark. *grin* Uh-oh, is this a hint to review and tell me what you think?

~Lila


	18. Time to Do Something Impractical

Chapter 17-

Time to Do Something Impractical 

"I don't mind

I don't mind no I

Laugh enough

Just dreaming about it…"

~_Give You Back_, Vertical Horizon 

Darryn caught on quickly, but it was already too late. Cid didn't protest when the burly Hunter grabbed him by the throat and hauled him away from the controls. He'd done what he needed to do. 

On the radar screen, illuminated by the glow of his flashlight, the _Apocalypse_ was slowly moving away from Gongaga, heading south- toward the ocean. Darryn watched for a moment in speechless shock, but when the course became clear he turned to Cid, backhanding the pilot across the mouth. 

"What the hell did you do!"

Cid glared, shining his flashlight on the Hunter to make his point. "Hit me again and you'll regret the day you were born."

Mainly because he hadn't wanted to waste all of his lighter fluid, Cid had reluctantly pried open an emergency cabinet and gotten flashlights. He hated assisting the Hunters, but hated the idea of being stuck alone in the dark with Darryn even more.

The stocky man clenched his fist so tightly his knuckles turned white, but he spoke relatively calmly. "Don't screw with me, Highwind. Why are we going south?" 

Cid shrugged, lighting up another cigarette. "I never liked Gongaga. Too damn depressing."

"Turn this ship around!" Darryn yelled, turning red with rage.

Cid laughed. "What're you gonna do?"

The door suddenly burst open and Rude rushed in, practically shouting. "Cid! What happened? Why'd the power go?" He was clearly agitated, for it was unusual for Rude to say seven words in a row, especially with so much emotion.

"You! How'd you escape?!" Darryn lunged, but Rude was faster, slamming the Hunter in the gut before throwing him to the floorThe only other Hunter in the room, the one who'd stolen Cid's Venus Gospel, started for him, but Rude shot him in the stomach. He was dead before he hit the ground. 

Darryn slowly got to his feet. "I really _hate_ Turks," he complained to himself, rubbing his head. For a moment, the man didn't seem half as threatening as usual, while he stood trying to figure out what to do. At last, he apparently decided to ignore Rude, turning back to Cid. "What did you do?" 

"There, you see?" Cid commented as he puffed on his cigarette. "It's not so bad to say something without trying to strangle me at the same time, is it?"

Predictably, Darryn lost control. "What did you do!" Rude, however, reacted before the Hunter could move and cocked his gun.

"Not a step," the stern Turk warned. "Stay where you are."

Although he looked immensely frustrated at this turn of events, Darryn stayed still. Cid let him stew a few minutes more before answering, running a hand languidly over the controls of his beloved ship. Then he sighed and spoke.

"It's this simple: I'm willing to do anything to get rid of you and your gang. Even give up my airship."_ Even give up Shera._

"What are you getting at?"

"We're heading for the ocean. I've set the controls on autocourse."

Rude jerked in surprise, but said nothing.

Darryn's eyes were slits. "You'll die as well as us."

Cid smiled coldly. "Well, unfortunately for you, we've got nothing to lose."

Darryn swore and jumped for the consel, slamming the controls furiously. Rude took a step toward him, but Cid waved him back, grinning. When it became clear that the Hunter wasn't doing a thing to change direction, Darryn at last turned and looked at the pilot accusingly.

"Did you fix this?"

Cid waved a hand innocently. "I put a lock on the controls. I'm the only one who can take it off."

"_Then take it off_!" 

He arched an eyebrow. "I don't think you're in much of a position to be making demands." He bent down and snatched his Venus Gospel from the unconscious Hunter's grasp. "Let's go, Rude."

"To where?" Rude lowered the gun, his eyes still on Darryn.

"We're going to find the others." Cid glanced back to the leader of the Hunters, who hadn't moved. "Enjoy yourself trying to break that lock."

"I'll kill you!" Darryn screamed desperately. "I'll kill all of you!" 

Cid shrugged as he led the way out the door. "Well, we're all gonna die anyway. Yell all you want, but you're history, pal."

"Don't follow us," Rude ordered. He tapped the gun meaningfully. He seemed to be enjoying this whole thing.

Cid wasn't. But then, he wasn't a Turk.

__

******

Barret sighed and put the PHS back on the bar counter. They were in a no-win situation. Reno hadn't given details before hanging up, but he and the others were in serious trouble. And Barret could do nothing to help, because Cid's townspeople were morons.

He glanced around at the others. Vincent sat a table, drumming his fingers on its wooden surface. He was restless and edgy. Barret could tell, just by looking at him. The man was staring at Rick murderously with those creepy red eyes of his. If only looks could kill.

Dale was behind the counter, fiddling with his ledger book. Yuffie leaned against the wall, studying her fingernails. Marlene was on the floor, hugging his leg. Barret mussed her hair affectionately and she smiled.

Suddenly he frowned. Someone was missing. "Yuffie?"

She glanced up, her eyes questioning.

"Where's Adine?"

She shook her head. "Isn't she with you?"

Marlene tugged on his hand. "I don't know where she is, either."

Rick jumped up. "She can't leave this town."

"Just shu'up," Barret barked. There was an awkward moment of silence, which was broken by a terrible scream. Everyone's heads snapped up. Marlene gasped and Barret stood up quickly.

"That's Adine!" Yuffie cried.

It was coming from outside. Barret leaped to the door, kicking it open.

The child was on the ground in front of the steps, curled in a fetal position, with her arms around her knees and her head tucked in. She wasn't screaming anymore, but looked unconscious. 

Barret knelt to pick her up but Marlene gave a whining cry and clung to him, not wanting to be put down. Vincent saw him hesitate and stepped in front of him to silently gather the girl in his arms.

Dale was pushing to get a better look. "What's wrong with her? Is she okay? What-"

Barret silenced him with a glare as they went back into the inn. Once inside, Vincent placed Adine on the counter, She was breathing rapidly and her skin looked unnaturally pale. Marlene squirmed in Barret's grasp, afraid for her friend.

"Daddy, what's the matter with Adine?"

"She's fine," Barret assured her, although he wasn't at all certain if that was true. She just-" His eyes fell on her left hand.

A red hourglass shape.

Adine had the Sresla.

Yuffie and Vincent both saw it at the same instant. Yuffie began to cry quietly.

"Not Adine," she whispered brokenly. "Please, not Adine."

Vincent, very slowly and rather timidly, put a hand on her shoulder in a consoling manner. Yuffie lost control completely and was suddenly enclosed in his arms, sobbing. Vincent looked intensely uncomfortable and held her gently, as though fearing she would break.

Marlene began to cry, too. Barret placed her down, not wanting her to see what he was about to do. Then he turned and slammed Rick against the wall. Dale stood by, wringing his hands, but didn't try to stop him.

"Are you happy now, you son of a bitch?" Barret snarled. "Isn't this what ya wanted all along?"

Rick stumbled over his words as he feebly tried to argue. "I…only wanted…to…"

"To what? To kill us all?" Barret slammed his gun-arm into the wall close to Rick's head. Rick flinched, but Barret didn't let him move. "You were threatenin' to shoot her less than a half-hour ago!"

Rick turned his face away, unwilling to answer. Disgusted, Barret shoved him aside and turned to Vincent, who still held Yuffie. As though she'd suddenly realized what she was doing, Yuffie leapt away from him like he was a live wire. Barret ignored this and addressed both of them. 

"We're leaving," he said quietly. "Vincent, you get Adine."

The former Turk nodded and scooped up the child. Yuffie looked questioningly at Barret. 

"Barret…?" She glanced at Rick, staring at the floor, and Dale, who was watching closely. "Can we…with them…?"

"They ain't gonna bother us," he growled. Although he spoke to Yuffie, he was glaring at Dale. The man visibly cringed and waved a hand in a weary gesture of defeat.

As they made it out the door, Barret was surprised at how dark it was. The night had worn on for hours. It would be dawn soon.

Cid's airship could be anywhere.

"What are we going to do?" Yuffie asked, rubbing her hands over her arms to warm them.

Barret started for Cid's house. "If our resident fly-boy doesn't have a plane or something in his backyard, I'll-" He broke off, having about to say, "I'll strangle him." Cid may be already dead.

It was pure luck that led them to the _Kjata_. It was a small, light blue plane obviously modeled after the _Tiny Bronco_. It was perfect, except for one thing… 

"There are two seats," Yuffie said tersely. "How do you fit five people in two seats?"

Barret shrugged, thinking. Cloud was better at this sort of thing than him. "Well, I guess I'd better have my own. I can hold Marlene and Adine wit' me. Vincent, you take the back seat. As for Yuffie…"

"Yes?" she said through grit teeth. "What about me?"

He hid a smile, forced the sudden hysterical laugh down his throat. "Well, uh, I guess you'll hafta sit in Vincent's lap."

"_What!_" Both of them yelled it at the same time, which was odd, because Vincent never raised his voice. Barret found it interesting the way they each turned a different color; Yuffie flushed a deep red, and Vincent went dead white.

"Barret, really," Vincent said, his voice only a little higher than usual. "Let's try to be practical. How about if-?"

"If what?" Barret countered. "If you or Yuffie rode on one of the wings? Now _that's _impractical."

Vincent fell silent. Yuffie folded her arms, eyes flashing.

"You have _got_ to be kidding." 

Barret sighed, losing patience. "Yuffie, if you'd rather sit on my lap-"

That did it. Yuffie glared at him, utterly speechless. Then she lifted her hand in an obscene gesture and started for the plane.

"If we're going to go, then let's go already!" she yelled over her shoulder.

Barret was fighting not to laugh as they climbed inside. For a moment, he realized, he'd sounded exactly like Reno.

******

Reno raced along the steel grating like a blind man. A wounded blind man, actually- his damned shoulder was acting up.

It was too _dark_. Reno hated this, wandering around in the dark like a fool. He should be doing something. He almost hoped he'd run into more Hunters, just so he wouldn't feel so isolated.

Then, the flashlight beam in his hand found a wall. Reno swore and turned to go back, but something about the wall caught his attention. There was a strange shape to part of it, as though it was…

"A door!" He spoke aloud, just to hear something besides his footsteps. He started forward hopefully, first walking, then running, not even aware of his frantic mutterings: "Please, oh please, let it be a door! Let it be a door!" When he finally reached it and ran his hands over it, he gave out a whoop of triumph. It really was a door. 

"Yes!" He thought of what he'd do first once he got out of here. Find Rude and Cid, kill Darryn, grab his nightstick from wherever those bastards had stashed it-

It was locked. 

He yanked on the handle again, then again. Finally he kicked it in frustration. "Someone's got a nasty sense of humor," he mumbled to himself. He'd been searching for a door for what seemed like hours. And now that he'd found one, it was locked.

As he turned to go the door swung open. But it opened _outwards_, away from him. He'd been pulling when he should've been pushing. Reno put a hand over his face. 

"Why," he asked aloud, "am I so friggin' stupid?"

"I don't know either, man."

Reno moved his hand to see Rude standing in the doorway, a self-satisfied smirk on his face. Cid was behind him, armed with his spear. 

Reno laughed with relief. "Am I glad to see you guys."

They each had a flashlight, although only Cid's was on. Rude never bothered to do that sort of thing, preferring to work with his gun without distractions. He tossed Reno his nightstick. "Where's Elena?"

"Hm?" Reno shoved his gun in his holster, stroking the nightstick like it was a long-lost child. "Oh, I'm not really sure."

Rude gave him a deadpan look. "What do you mean, 'you're not really sure'?"

Reno shrugged. "Well, last I knew, she was fifty feet above my head."

"Reno…" Rude dragged out the word impatiently. Cid started to yell.

"The hell you mean? You mean you lost her?"

"I mean what I said!" Reno snapped, not happy that he'd lost Elena either. "She was in the catwalks when I fell from them. That's all I know."

Rude rolled his eyes while Cid simply looked incredulous.

"Okay, I'll ignore the fact that you fell fifty feet onto steel and survived," he said slowly. "But don't tell me she's up there alone. Those bastards are all over the place. She could-"

"Cid, she's a Turk," Reno pointed out. "She's fine. Besides, she's not alone, Shera's with her."

Cid said a word that sounded like a melding of all the swears he knew. Then he sighed wearily and stepped out from the doorway. "You're sure they're alright?"

Reno spoke with blunt honesty. "No, I'm not sure. But I think so."

Cid nodded. "Well, let's go."

"Huh?" Reno looked from him to the door. "Shouldn't we try to regain control over the airship or something?"

Cid smiled and jerked his head to the doorway. "You try to go up there, Kid, it'll be your ass. There're Hunters swarming everywhere."

Reno thought for a moment, then paled. "Wait a minute…if you're here, then who's flying the ship?"

"The _Apocalypse_ is flying itself," Cid grinned. Then his smile faded. "I set us on a crash course to the ocean. It'll kill us as well as them, but…look, you knew weren't getting outta this alive, right?"

Reno nodded slowly, although he was thinking, _Well, that was kinda the idea. _He should've known it from the beginning, but he'd been so preoccupied with everything else he hadn't actually considered that there may not be a way out. If he'd looked at the whole picture, this wouldn't have come as a surprise to him.

But despite all his training as a Turk, despite his occasional depression, Reno desperately wanted to live. 

"Yeah." He forced out a smile. He wasn't about to start whining. He'd go down like a man. "Yeah, go down with the airship. Just like one of those kamikaze pilots."

"That's the spirit." Cid's smile looked forced as well. "S'long as they go down with us." 

Reno suddenly realized how hard it must have been for Cid to make that decision, to condemn all his friends to death. The man had guts. For all his bluster and cursing, he was a damned good leader.

"C'mon!" Cid snapped, clearly impatient to find Shera. "You coming or not?"

Rude, silent all this time, looked at Reno and gave a slight nod. It was the only good-bye Rude would make, he knew. Like himself, Rude felt more comfortable pushing thoughts of the inevitable to the back of his mind. Besides, it was a stupid thing to do, to admit defeat. Once you admit defeat, you're already half dead. 

"I'm coming." Reno switched his nightstick on, felt it come to life in his hand.

"Okay, here's the plan," Cid said. "I'll try to get the power back on. You guys cover me. I'll help if I can, but three's a crowd when it comes to messing around in the dark, you know what I'm saying?" 

"Right." Reno sighed and led them down the path he'd come. "The fusebox is this way. Look out for dead bodies."

******

Vincent rolled his eyes as the plane climbed ever higher. Barret had no idea what he was doing, but his desperation was strong enough to make him blindly figure out the controls of an unfamiliar machine. He was determined, Vincent had to give him that. But a part of him was still certain Barret would find a way to crash the _Kjata_. 

Yuffie sighed in her sleep and stirred against him. Vincent tensed. He'd thought this part of him was dead; that simply too much time had passed. But now, the closeness of her was awakening forgotten feelings and desires, so strongly it nearly frightened him. She was, after all, more girl than woman.

And yet, this was the first time he'd held a woman- _Girl! _he corrected himself sharply- in his arms since Lucrecia.

As soon as the thought struck him he shuddered, slamming a door shut on unwanted memories. He didn't need to think of Lucrecia. Not now. Not when he wanted this girl this badly.

She stirred again, mumbling something about Wutai. Vincent was glad she was sleeping. The poor soul had been through too much. Despite what she might say, the death of her father had traumatized her, leaving her as defenseless and vulnerable as a newborn kitten. Her reaction to Adine's sickness was proof of that. One too many blows could finish this helpless child.

He couldn't help himself. Tenderly he ran a finger down the side of her face. Her skin felt the way he'd imagined in his mind- smooth and velvety soft.

Abruptly he pulled his hand away. Lucrecia's pain-filled eyes still burned into his mind. He'd ruined that woman's life, with his foolish, tainted love. He wouldn't ruin's another's.

Yet, in his heart, he was glad the plane was so small. It meant he could hold her. If only for a little while.

******

Elena stood over the dead Hunter's body, breathing raggedly. She still had her gun trained on the man at her feet.

"Elena." Shera put a hand on her shoulder. "You can't keep this up."

She nodded, finally lowering the gun. She blinked slowly, then rubbed her eyes with the back of her wrist. It was late, so late it was early. Elena suspected it was close to dawn. She was nearly burned out.

"What else can we do?" she snapped. "I…I can't…" She was on the brink of losing control. Reno was gone. Cid was playing chauffeur for Darryn. And Rude…she didn't even know what had happened to him.

Shera remained silent, looking back at Elena calmly. Elena switched off her flashlight, not wanting to have to face the mechanic's placid gaze, then switched it back on.

__

Pull yourself together! she ordered herself. At a loss, she ran a hand though her hair. It was matted and stiff with sweat and dried blood. The last Hunter had nearly done her in before she shot him down.

"Okay," she said at last. "Shera, we need the power back on. I almost shot myself a few minutes ago because I couldn't see. Can you fix it?"

Shera gave a nod, the ghost of smile flitting across her lips. "That's what I'm here for."

"All right then." Elena set her mouth in a resolute line. "Let's find that fusebox."

******

After about an hour's search, he'd finally found it. The ship was going at a good pace, but the smaller, maneuverable _Kjata _kept up easily. Barret sped along the belly of the _Apocalypse_, indecisive. Now that he had found Cid and the others: What next?

He spotted the gleam of a small silver hatch, almost obscured by one of the ship's support wings. With a grunt of effort he yanked the clutch and banked straight up, going at the bottom of the airship. He heard Marlene, sitting on his knee, give a scream of terror as she almost lost her hold on the limp form of Adine.

Barret turned just in time to avoid a head-on collision, scraping only the tip of the left wing. When he judged his position fairly safe, he half-turned in his seat to look at Vincent. 

"Go through the hatch," he yelled over the roar of the wind. "Find the others and get back out here. I'll be waiting!" 

Vincent started to stand, but Yuffie instinctively grabbed at his arm. She gasped when her fingers encountered the metal claw but didn't let go. 

"I'm coming with you!" Barret heard her yell.

Vincent leaned toward her and spoke firmly, coldly. Barret couldn't quite make out what he said, but Yuffie released his arm. Without another word he leaped, catching the wing of the _Apocalypse _with his hand. Barret watched as Vincent swung, kicked open the hatch, and dropped inside, disappearing from view. A few seconds later the hatch slid closed.

Barret's hand found Marlene's and gripped it tightly, steering with his gun-arm. He looked down at Adine's pale face, her eyes closed. He would've thought she was dead if it wasn't for the rise and fall of her chest. 

__

Hurry up, Vincent! he thought wildly_. Find the others and get out of there!_

******

Elena crept along the gangplank, one hand out for balance, the other clutching the flashlight, although it wasn't on. She'd heard voices, and wanted to take Darryn's men by surprise.

The grating hurt her stockinged feet, but she ignored it, as she ignored her fear of falling. If only she had light! Shera was working on that, but she was taking her sweet time with it.

She stopped at the top of a metal ladder that led down to the lower level. The voices were right beneath her. At least these Hunters were smart enough to put their flashlights away.

As soon as they started up the ladder, Elena dove for them, slamming the top man bodily to the floor. A hand reached for her but missed. She rolled off the men- two, from the sounds of it- and jumped to her feet. 

The larger of the two made a grab for her, but she grasped his hand and twisted it, forcing him to let go. The other, cursing wildly, tried to stand. Quickly she jumped on him again to keep him down, using her legs to pin his arms against his sides. As she fumbled with her gun he surprised her by head-butting her in the face. She paused for a moment, trying to regain her wits. He shoved her off him and got to his feet.

That was it. Elena was _mad_. She tackled the man in the legs, sending him sprawling. Again she tried to get her gun, but the other, larger Hunter seized her by the hair with one hand and held both her wrists in the other. Furious at her inability to free herself, Elena finally just kneed him in the crotch, then slapped him in the face twice. There was a groan of pain as the Hunter slid off her.

Then the other punched her in the gut. Elena dropped to her knees as he snatched for her gun. Desperate for him not to get it, Elena tossed it some ways away. Although his probing hands searched her everywhere, they did not find the gun. Of course, now she had also lost her weapon. 

Angrier than ever, Elena waited for the right moment, then kicked him off her. He clamped a hand on her arm, taking her down with him. As Elena struggled to disentangle her arms and legs from his, the lights flared on. Shera had fixed the power.

She blinked for a moment, trying to shield her eyes from the brightness. Then she looked down at the man under her.

"Hey, Elena." Reno grinned.

Elena paled. _Reno?_ Then she grinned herself. "Reno!" She hugged him tight enough to make him gasp for air. "I thought you were dead!"

"It wouldn't be the first time," he gagged. "Although I may be if you don't let me breathe soon." 

She stood, allowing Reno to get up as well. It was then she looked to the side.

Sprawled on his side, dark glasses knocked askew, was Rude. He lifted his head to give her a weak smile. "Hi," he said.

"Rude!" She pulled him up and hugged him, too. Strangely enough, she felt like crying. Maybe she was going soft. "Rude, I'm so sorry! I didn't know it was you!"

He rubbed his head and gave a sheepish grin. "That's okay. I didn't know it was you, either."

"I did," Reno said.

They both turned to look at him. "You _what_?!"

He shrugged. "C'mon. How many Hunters have breasts?"

Elena was turning a dangerous shade of red. "Oh, so that's why you were feeling me up back there?"

"I just had to make sure it was really you!" he protested, trying and failing miserably to keep a smug smirk off his face. "Don't be mad, 'Lena. You thought I was dead, remember?"

She didn't tone down the glare. Rude shrugged helplessly. "Reno, she held her own in a fight against two of us. I wouldn't recommend pissing her off now." 

At a loss, Reno smiled hopefully and held up two black objects. "See? I found your shoes."

Elena couldn't help herself and burst out laughing. Grabbing her shoes, she sat down right there and pulled them off. She couldn't help forgiving her friend. Reno was simply Reno.

Cid, his usual cigarette dangling from his mouth, suddenly appeared. "Only three Turks would be dumb enough to frickin' fight each other on an airship fulla enemies." 

"Cid!" It was Shera. Just as the pilot turned in surprise, she flew down the ladder and into his arms. 

"C'mon, smoochy-smoochy!" Reno encouraged them. Elena silenced him with a whack.

"There you are." Vincent shook his head. "I've been looking all over for you five."

There was a moment of shocked silence. Then, Reno asked what they were all thinking. "Where the hell did you come from?"

Vincent explained the whole story hastily, knowing time was short. When he mentioned Adine's sickness, Shera gave a gasp and hid her face on Cid's shoulder. Vincent could only think of how similar her reaction had been to Yuffie's. Her words in the plane had scared him.

__

I'm coming with you!

He hadn't been able to stand another tortured moment with her and had coldly rebuffed her.

__

If I want a child's help, I'll bring Barret's daughter.

It had hurt him to slight her so, but he couldn't allow himself to fall in love with the girl. He wouldn't allow himself to.

"So how're we all gonna fit in this tiny plane?" Elena asked, interrupting his thoughts. 

Vincent surprised himself by smiling. It was a small, sad smile, but a smile. "I'm afraid we're going to have to do something impractical." 

******

Cid let out a whoop as the _Kjata_ sailed away from the _Apocalypse_. He didn't seem to mind clinging to the wing of the plane. Beside him, Vincent was silent. Elena had her eyes closed and was refusing to open them. She'd had enough wild trips on flying machines.

On the opposite wing, Reno seemed to have forgotten his last terrible experience on the _Apocalypse_. "See you in hell, Darryn!" he shouted, laughing hysterically and trying to stand up. Rude swore at him and pulled him back down.

In the backseat behind Barret, Yuffie groaned and hid her face under Shera's arm. "I don't feel so good…"

Shera looked helplessly at Cid. "Cid! We need to stop somewhere soon!"

Cid agreed. Although, like all of his aircraft, the _Kjata_ was strong and sturdy, the plane was definitely not built for this kind of weight. "Barret!" he shouted. "Pull over and get the hell outta my seat!"

"I'm stopping in Nibelheim!" the big man yelled back. "It's right below us!"

Cid looked at him impatiently. "Then why aren't we dropping altitude?"

"I don't know how to!"

Cursing, Cid clambered over the plane and pulled himself alongside Barret. "Get out of my way!"

Shrugging, Barret grabbed Marlene and Adine and leaned back. Cid shoved him aside to get at the clutch. He pulled it back.

"Hold onto your drawers, boys and girls!" he shouted, remembering the last time he'd done this, a long time ago when he'd first met Cloud. "An' don't piss in 'em!"

His only answer was the others' screams as the plane spiraled downward.

The concussion was brutal; the plane slamming into the ground nose-first. Fortunately, Cid's frantic steering caused the _Kjata _to crash at an angle, bouncing off its side and finally landing upside down, balancing on one wing. The other had been torn off, taking Reno and Rude with it.

Cid, who'd been thrown from the plane, staggered to his feet. They'd crashed a few hundred yards from Nibelheim. Pieces of wreckage were scattered about. There was no question of the _Kjata_ ever flying again. 

"Hey!" he called. "Is everyone okay?"

Reno, flat on his back some distance away, let out a weary moan. "Cid, I think you're determined to kill us all, one way or another."

Yuffie sported a sprained wrist and complained about it a good deal, but nobody was seriously injured. Barret ranted a lot about endangering the kids, managing to call Cid a whole list of vile names. Cid merely shrugged.

"Well, we made it, didn't we?" he countered. He noticed the limp little form in Barret's arms. "How is she?"

"Not good," Barret muttered. "She seems to be waking up a little, though." At his words, Adine's eyes fluttered. 

"Tifa…" she whispered. Then, "Mommy…"

Cid shook his head. "Let's get her to town. Cloud and the others should arrive soon." 

****

~Author's Note~

I know, a long chapter, but I had to get this part done so I can move on to Cloud's party. Why Cloud's party? *Grin* I can't tell you. To quote Elena, it's a S-E-C-R-E-T. Here's a hint: I made a promise to Zelda6, who should be expecting an email from me soon.

Man, Vincent/Yuffie? If you're wondering where that came from, well, I like Vincent, I like Yuffie, and I don't have matches lined up for them. Voila. (That's probably misspelled, I know. I suck at French in all its forms) 

I actually had a lotta fun with this chapter, especially our little Turk brawl. You can thank Aurora for that one. It was her idea. 

Please read and review! Bye!

~Lila 


	19. Scattered Emotions

Chapter 18-

Scattered Emotions

"Have you ever found the one

You've dreamed of all your life

You'd do anything to look into their eyes

Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to

Only to find that one won't give their heart to you

Have you ever closed your eyes and

Dreamed that they were there

And all you can do is wait for that day when they will care…"

~Brandy, _Have you Ever?_

He ran.

The streets of Junon were said to be the best place to stay, if you had something to hide. The entire upper level, once a Shinra military sector, was now overrun with a thick slew of people- people whose homes had been destroyed, victims of hard times. Therefore, it was an ideal place to lay low.

On the other hand, the lower level, where the simple fishermen used to live, was now a thriving populace. Not as many people lived there, but those who did were honest and trustworthy. The inhabitants of old Junon, free from Shinra oppression, were able to once again go about their daily lives. 

That was why he frequented Upper Junon. His face, with its cold, perfect features, was too recognizable there. The face of Rufus Shinra was imprinted in the mind of every citizen of Lower Junon. He was not one they'd soon forget. 

Even in Upper Junon there were those who saw him…and knew.

"You! Halt!"

Damned if he would. He ducked into a narrow alley in hopes of throwing off his pursuers. He leaned against the wall for a moment, mentally cursing the ill luck that seemed to follow him wherever he went. He'd even dyed his hair, in an effort to change his appearance! Apparently, the effort was wasted. It was his face that gave him away, that damned, highborn, recognizable face!

His breathing stopped as the voices sounded from just outside his hiding place.

"He's in here. You wait while I flush him out."

Not for the first time, he inwardly regretted his rash actions during the days when he'd held power. Not because he cared about the lives he'd ruined, knowing they were simply in his way. No, he regretted what his own ambition had cost himself. Of course, if he'd known this would happen… 

_Now! Move!_

He jerked with surprise at the sudden voice inside of his head, but before he could really react, the man hunting him was suddenly there, in front of him!

He gave a started yell and thrust out his forearm, catching the man square in the throat. The stranger stumbled back. His quarry took the moment and tore up the alley, his booted feet crunching loudly on the gravel. 

He didn't take the time to look behind, he could hear the man's footsteps running after him. If he could just get out of the alley and into open space, he might have a chance of escape-

A high wire fence blocked his path. Frantically he shook it, but the wire did nothing but rattle and sway disarmingly. He was trapped.

He turned slowly as his pursuer closed in on him. The predator saw no need to run now; his prey was cornered and absolutely helpless.

Helpless.

The "prey's" eyes narrowed in cold hatred. _I will not die like this_, he assured the man silently._ Whatever it costs me, I refuse to be hunted down like an animal!_

A low, silky laugh erupted from inside of his mind. _Are you sure about that, Rufus Shinra?_

He looked around for the source of the voice, ignoring the man. "Who are you?" he demanded. 

_Why don't you find out? _was the reply.

Rufus looked for a moment at the man in front of him. His eyes were wide and staring, and he seemed petrified by a kind of fear. Still, the gun that hung limply at his side was very capable of killing him.

Rufus noted all this, smiled as he always did when he dared Death, and closed his eyes.

The woman in the purple gown smiled back at him, looking pleased. Her beauty was captivating, timeless, and Rufus knew at once who she must be.

"Yes, I am what you call Jenova," she said, reading his thoughts. "This, of course, is not my true form. It is my appearance when I decide to show myself as human. I thought we could negotiate better this way."

He noted the word "negotiate", but instead asked, "Weren't you destroyed by AVALANCHE?"

"My power and, indeed, most of my physical form was exterminated," she said, rather wistfully. Rufus was impressed by her ability to show human emotion so convincingly, however, this only served to warn him how dangerous this woman- _creature_- was. 

She went on. "But dear Professor Hojo managed to salvage a part of me…my _essence_, if you will." She gave an icy smile. "I owe so much to that man. What a pity he's dead."

"So Hojo saved you." This, then, had worked. Rufus had thought his scientist was grasping at straws when Hojo had somehow obtained the head of Jenova and preserved it, insisting it was still useful. Well, at least the man had accomplished something before his death.

"No," she said, shaking her head so that her black, unnaturally straight hair shimmered and rippled, like waves on a lake. "He restored my sentience, not my power. That is why I need your help."

"I see." Rufus allowed himself the smallest hint of a smile. "And what, may I ask, will I be granted in return?"

She smirked, her purple eyes gleaming brightly. "Myself- and all the power I possess."

Rufus considered, then inclined his head in assent. Here it was. His chance. "Very well. However, I happen to be in a dilemma at the moment…" He knew, as soon as he returned to reality, the man would kill him. And there was no point in making a bargain if you were dead the next minute.

"All will be taken care of. Just one thing." The dropped of her face, to be replaced by a very severe look. "_Be sure you do not fail me_."

Rufus opened his eyes and tensed, expecting a shot. A moment passed, until his mind registered what was in front of him. 

The man lay sprawled on the ground, arms and legs flopped in odd positions, gun abandoned at his side. He didn't even have to look to know the other waiting outside the alley was dead, too.

He smiled, then felt something cold in his hand. He held it up to his face to find he held a dark red pendant, secured on a simple metal chain. The pendant was heavy, round made of some kind of stone-like material. A thin band of gold encircled it and illegible runes were scratched out in its surface.

_This amulet will hide your identity as long as you wear it. It will not help you win friends, but it may help you avoid enemies. _

He bowed his head and slipped the chain over his neck. The chain felt normal, but the pendant tingled against his skin, even through his clothes.

"All right," he said aloud, spreading his hands in a gesture of supplication. "What must I do?" 

******

"Sufur!" 

He woke with a start, turning to his assailant with a knife in his hand. It took him a moment to realize his "assailant" was Tifa.

Tifa had frozen when the knife was pulled on her. Only when she saw recognition dawn in Sufur's eyes and he had lowered the weapon did she remember to exhale. 

"You can relax," she told him, although her voice trembled a little. "I wasn't going to slit your throat or anything. Cloud told me to wake everybody up, that's all. We have to get going."

Across the tent, Zack moaned and rolled over. "No need to come over here, Teef. Our new pal's paranoia is better than a splash of cold water in the face."

"Sorry," Sufur shrugged, replacing the knife in his boot. "I've lived on the streets for some time. Reflex."

Zack sat up and blinked sleepily. "That, and you're not a morning person."

"If you're awake enough to crack jokes, you're awake enough to help take down the tent," Tifa informed him. "You've had plenty of time to laze around in bed."

Zack squinted at her in disbelief. "Tifa, it's the crack of dawn!"

She pretended not to hear and swept out of the tent. They had been making good time for the past day and a half. After leaving Kalm yesterday, Cloud had pressed them on without rest, until it grew dark and it was necessary to stop and make camp for the night.

Something was definitely bothering him. Tifa glanced at him worriedly as he worked mechanically, taking down tent poles. He looked more drawn and haggard with each passing day, and nothing she did seemed to help. In fact, her efforts seemed to make things worse. Last night he had even snapped at her. 

__

Will you stop hovering over me? Just leave me alone for five minutes!

Hurt, she had fallen silent for several minutes. He'd apologized afterward, but the whole incident only served to strengthen her certainty that something was desperately wrong with Cloud. 

"We should reach Junon today," Aeris said, coming across the grass to stand beside Tifa. "We'll take the cargo ship from there and probably spend the night in Costa del Sol."

Tifa nodded distractedly, watching Cloud work. Suddenly she turned and looked at Aeris. "How soon till we reach Nibelheim?"

Aeris looked faintly surprised at the abrupt question, then shrugged. "I can't say. Maybe a few days, if we keep at this pace. Why?"

Tifa didn't answer right away. When she did speak, she didn't look at Aeris. "Does Cloud seem…distracted…to you?"

"More than that." Aeris frowned, looking troubled. "It's…as if he's afraid of something."

"Afraid?" It was Tifa's turn to frown. "What do you mean?"

The half-Cetra indicated Cloud with a nod of her head. "He keeps glancing over his shoulder. Not in the sense of speaking, of course," she added when Tifa opened her mouth. "It's just…he looks so haunted. And the way he's pushing us onward…" She let the sentence hang in the air, looking at Tifa helplessly. "I'm sorry. I can't explain it any better than that."

Tifa watched as the entire tent collapsed on an outraged Zack, who had stayed inside and, apparently, gone back to sleep. "I'll just feel a lot better when we meet up with Cid and the others," she murmured, half to herself.

Aeris nodded. "Me, too."

"Why's that?"

Tifa whirled around to see Sufur's disturbingly blue eyes. "How long were you standing there?" she demanded, again feeling that rising sense of unease. 

She got the impression that he smiled, even though she couldn't exactly see the expression form on his face. "Why? Were you talking about something I wasn't supposed to hear?"

Tifa remained silent, her mouth fixed in a firm line, her eyes filled with loathing and distrust. Sufur also said nothing, instead simply smirking at her in his arrogant fashion. Aeris looked back and forth between the two. She didn't want to interrupt the silent battle of wills, but didn't want it to go on, either. 

Nanaki saved her, padding up so silently no one heard him arrive. "What's going on, here?"

Both Sufur and Tifa jumped; their gazes dropped. Aeris breathed a sigh of relief. 

"Tifa? Aeris?" Nanaki was still waiting for an answer. "Is something wrong?"

"No." Even though she was speaking to Nanaki, it was Sufur on which Tifa fixed a cold stare. "No, nothing to worry about. _Nothing to worry about at all_." So saying, she turned her back on Sufur with contempt and strode off.

Aeris smiled with approval. Her friend's message had been quite clear. Without looking at Sufur, she followed Tifa's example and walked away. Nanaki hesitated a moment, then followed hurriedly. 

Sufur looked after them thoughtfully. Then with a snort of derision, he turned away.

No one was around to see the cold smile spread across his face. One hand went to the pendant at his throat and rested there, stroking the red stone with his fingertips. He had a plan, now. One that would end with Jenova getting exactly what she wanted.

The girl was dead wrong. He was definitely "something to worry about".

Too bad she wouldn't live long enough to figure that out. 

******

Late that afternoon, they arrived in Costa del Sol. Cloud led them to the Shinra Villa. Some time ago, he'd worked up enough gil to buy the huge place, and then never used it. 

Sufur outwardly showed no expression, but inside a small part of his mind laughed mockingly. When he'd visited this mansion in the past, he hadn't been able to wait for the day when the whole world would know who he was. Now, he stayed at the villa to hide from prying eyes. 

Cloud shoved open the door and unceremoniously dumped a pack of gear on the floor. Nanaki slunk in behind him. Aeris and Tifa arrived next, followed by Sufur. Zack came in last, shutting the door behind him. 

"Man, it's cold out there!" he exclaimed, rubbing his hands together to warm them. He spotted Aeris and Tifa and looped an arm through each of theirs. "Good thing I've got two gorgeous babes to warm me up!" 

Aeris laughed and went along with it, but Tifa yanked her arm away, blushing a little. She wasn't Aeris. She wasn't flirtatious or cute. Zack shrugged it off.

"Sorry. Forgot- you belong to Cloud."

Tifa was so distracted she failed to notice the note of bitterness in his voice. She fingered the PHS in her hand. "Aeris, did Reno say if they'd reached Nibelheim yet?"

"I don't know." The half-Cetra lowered her eyes thoughtfully. "He didn't say. They might've made it by today, though." 

"He didn't say?" Zack repeated. "What did he say? You were on the PHS for quite a while, if I recall." 

Aeris pulled her arm free of his grip. "That's not funny, Zack! Cloud told you to stop doing that!"

"No, Cloud told me to stop making fun of him. He did not mention you." Zack grinned. "And you are turning a lovely shade of pink."

She glared at him, then turned and marched into the sitting room, sitting on the small couch primly. Zack rolled his eyes to the ceiling in a long-suffering expression and leaned against the wall beside Cloud.

Tifa punched in the number as she sank down on the couch beside Aeris. Nanaki sat back on his haunches, appraising everyone silently. Sufur was already relaxing in an armchair, taking no note of the proceedings in front of him. 

_Three…four…_Tifa mentally counted the rings as she studied her nails, not looking at the others. _Five…six…what's taking them so long?…eight…_

On the eleventh ring, someone picked up. There was the sound of scattered cursing, a crash as though he'd dropped the PHS, more curses, and finally: "_What!"_

Nearly everyone in the room flinched. Aeris hid a smile behind her hand.

"Cid, you did this last night, too," Tifa said patiently. "Don't you remember? The whole, 'let's contact each other at sunset' thing?"

Cid swore right in her ear. "Sorry…" he muttered when he'd calmed. "There's just…a lot goin' on right now."

"Like what?"

He hesitated. "Look, I…don't know how to say this, Tifa. We…ran into some trouble last night. Took a lot outta us. And…Adine. She…"

Tifa was suddenly very aware of how fast her heart was pounding. She could feel her own pulse. "Yes?" she said thickly. "Keep going."

Haltingly, choosing his words with care, Cid told her. When he had finished, Tifa had to swallow hard. Somehow, she felt she should've known this would happen. She should've known.

"Thanks for telling me, Cid," she whispered, not really aware of what she was saying. "I'm glad it was you."

"Teef, listen. She might pull through. We're going to beat Jenova, right? She might-"

"I…I really have to go." Dropping the PHS on the floor, she somehow got to her feet and fled the room, not running anywhere in particular, just away. She saw nothing through watery vision, but when she stumbled over cold steps she knew she was at the stairs to the basement. There she collapsed, burying her face in her arms.

She was losing everything she loved. Her mother…then her father…her beloved hometown…her bar, her friends in Sector 7…and now Adine. She couldn't take it anymore, not when she was losing Cloud as well. 

Angrily she swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand, wiping away tears she hadn't even known she had shed. She had already lost him, long ago. She had just been too blind to see it.

Only then, just when she thought she had regained complete control over herself, did she begin to sob.

******

Aeris quietly picked up the PHS from the floor and placed it on a side table. She looked at it for a moment, troubled. "I wish Cid had mentioned how the others are. Or where exactly they were."

"He would've told us, if Tifa hadn't gone and lost it like that," Cloud muttered with disgust. "She needs to pull herself together." 

There was a heartbeat's worth of silence, then Zack grabbed Cloud by the shoulders and slammed him into the wall.

"You're so stupid!" the dark-haired man snarled, shaking him a little. "How can you be so damn stupid, Cloud?"

At first, Cloud looked oddly close to tears. Then the expression changed to anger. "Let go of me!"

"Not until you explain," Zack snarled. "How can you be so stupid as to purposely hurt her like this? It doesn't make any sense. _You_ don't make any sense." 

Aeris averted her eyes; Nanaki kept his own on the floor. Sufur, however, watched the scene closely. He seemed to be the only one actually enjoying the heated exchange. 

"There are things," Cloud said, slowly and deliberately, "that you may not be aware of, Zack. You've only seen a small piece of the big picture. You-"

"Who gives a shit about the big picture?!" Zack yelled. He took a breath, then said, more quietly, "I know something's going on with you, Cloud. I can see it in your eyes." Cloud stiffened. Zack went on. "But that won't excuse you from the way you're treating others. Just…try to be a little more sensitive. That's all."

Cloud was limp in Zack's grasp. "That's part of the big picture, Zack," he said softly. "I'm telling you, I'm handling things right."

Zack gave him a long look. "I wish I could believe you," he said, releasing his hold. "I really do."

Cloud was silent, sinking to the floor with his back to the wall. Zack went over to the couch where Aeris was and sat beside her, not meeting her eyes. 

If anyone had looked up, they would have seen Sufur smiling broadly.

******

Tifa raised her head, groggily wondering where she was. She moved a little and let out a sharp gasp of pain. She had fallen asleep on the stone steps. Not a very comfy place to snooze, either. 

She rolled her shoulders to ease the cramp and sat up, blinking. It was dark and quiet. The others were probably asleep.

Remembering why she had slept on stone stairs, Tifa sighed and passed a hand over her face. People always said it felt good to cry when you haven't for a long time. How untrue. Tifa felt worse than she had to begin with, and that was pretty bad. 

Well, she wasn't about to spend the rest of the night here. She was freezing. Mounting the steps two at a time, she quickly but quietly made her way to the upper level. She would stop in the bathroom to wash her face first, she decided. It would not do for the others to see how upset she'd been.

At the entrance to the washroom she stopped, having heard a noise from down the hall. It was probably nothing. 

Then why was she still standing there, listening?

It came again, a little cry, followed by noises she couldn't identify. Tifa hesitated. _You're being stupid, _she told herself. _Someone's just talking to in his or her sleep. Just ignore it._

That decided, she turned and stepped into the washroom. Then she changed her mind and ran back down the hall, her shoes clacking loudly on the wooden floor. 

The noises were coming from the sitting room, not the bedroom. Tifa rushed in and switched on the light.

There was a slam as Sufur slammed into the wall, courtesy of an angry shove. He caught himself before he fell, but otherwise didn't move, catching sight of the new arrival. Tifa stared in disbelief as her Aeris turned to her, looking frightened as well as incensed. 

"Just _what _is going on here?" she demanded. Without thinking she lowered herself into a fighting stance. 

"I'm sure we'd all like to know the answer to that," a voice said dryly. Sufur's head swiveled to the only other exit in the room- the doorway leading to the bedroom. It was blocked by Cloud, Zack, and Nanaki. 

"He attacked me!" Aeris cried, clutching at the neck of her thin lavender nightgown. "He was going to kill me, I'm sure of it!" 

Sufur's blue eyes met hers with hatred; he was caught, and he knew it. Then he gave a moan and fell to his knees, hands to his head. "What…happened?" He looked at the confused woman standing over him. "Aeris…did I…?" He jumped up, looking distressed. "Did I hurt you?"

She backed away from him quickly, obviously confused. "No."

"Looks more like she hurt you," Zack pointed out dryly, looking at several deep scratches on Sufur's arms. Perhaps surprisingly, Aeris didn't apologize, merely watched him warily. 

"Cut the shit," Zack continued, meeting Sufur's gaze. "What happened?"

"There…was a voice in my head." Sufur swallowed hard. "I couldn't fight it. It was almost like it was…controlling me."

"Don't give us that-" Zack started to yell, but Cloud held up a hand to silence him. 

"Are you saying Jenova told you to attack Aeris?" Cloud said quietly.

"Maybe. I don't know," Sufur said quietly. "Please believe me. I wasn't in control of my actions."

Nanaki looked at Aeris dubiously. "Aeris? Is he telling the truth?"

Aeris didn't answer right away. After a moment she sighed. "I guess so," she murmured. "I'm not sure."

_Don't you give him the benefit of doubt, Aeris Gainsborough! _Tifa thought viciously, unconsciously clenching and unclenching her fists. _Not after he tries something like this!_

Zack stepped between Aeris and Sufur, putting a protective arm around her. "You're alright?"

She pulled away. "I'm fine. I just…I don't know." 

Zack turned to Cloud, who was still standing in the doorway. "I say we kill him."

Aeris gasped in horror, but said nothing. Tifa certainly had no objections. Nanaki lashed his tail back and forth, seemingly undecided.

Cloud looked back at Zack. "I can't do that."

"He's dangerous," Zack said flatly. "Whether he kills Aeris in cold blood or because he's under Jenova's control, she's still just as dead." He looked at her apologetically. "Sorry."

"I can't do that!" Cloud exploded. "Don't you get it? _I_ almost killed Aeris once, because of the same reason he's giving! I've done stupid things, because my mind wasn't my own! I can't kill him because of this!"

Tifa felt a lump rise in her throat. Cloud had once come close to killing them all because of Jenova's control. Yet she had followed him because she had faith in him. 

He was right. They couldn't kill Sufur.

"Fine," Zack said, shifting from one foot to the other. "It's up to you." He didn't sound thrilled about it. 

Cloud rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Okay, Sufur, sorry, but you'll be guarded at all times. We'll take shifts on a two-man watch. Who wants to go first?"

"I will," Tifa said instantly. Cloud had asked her to keep an eye on Sufur. She wouldn't let him down.

He gave her a weak smile. "Thanks."

"Maybe you shouldn't," Zack interjected. "You've had a rough night."

Cloud was looking like he'd had enough of Zack questioning his orders. "She volunteered." 

"Then so do I," Zack said coldly. 

"Fine!" Cloud snapped. Without another word he stalked out of the room.

Tifa was puzzled. Something was going on between them, and she had the uncomfortable feeling she was a part of it. 

Sufur was looking irritated. "Well, aren't you going to tie me up?" he said sarcastically. 

Against all odds, Zack grinned. "Nope. Got a better idea. You see, I've got this Seal materia, and one of my favorite spells happens to be Sleepel…"

******

Since Zack had conveniently timed his spell so that Sufur conked out on the floor, he and Tifa had the couch to themselves. He reclined back, stretching his legs out in front of him. Tifa didn't look nearly as comfortable; she sat stiffly, her lean muscles knotted with tension. Again he felt that surprising hostility toward Cloud, that feeling that he was pushing the careworn Tifa too hard. He knew she was doing this because she felt she had to. Maybe to make up for losing control earlier.

"Do you trust him?" she suddenly asked, her eyes on Sufur. 

"Hm? Nope. Not in the least." He sighed. "For one thing, it's kinda hard to trust someone whose features keep blending together."

She looked at him sharply. "You notice, too? I'm not just imagining things?"

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "Tifa, let me tell ya something. Last night, I asked him. I just went up and asked him why he looks to damn freaky. Know what he did? He laughed- not a nice laugh- and didn't say a word. Tuned me out when I asked again. He's got something up his sleeve. I'd like to know what it is."

She put a hand to her head, as though to keep it from splitting apart. "Me, too. We'll just have to wait until we reach Nibelheim. I have a feeling all the answers are there." She gave a brave smile. "It'll be nice to see everyone again. It's been ages."

He snorted. "Yeah, real nice to see that smartass Turk again. You notice something? The last few days have been actually _quiet_, without him around." _What?_ Where had that come from? 

She looked at him oddly, but didn't say anything. Zack looked at the floor, a bit flustered. Her eyes seemed to be looking into the very core of his being, exposing secrets he didn't even know he had. Suddenly he felt ashamed, and he didn't even know why. What was she thinking? Why didn't she say anything? She could at least yell at him for calling Reno "smartass". Even though it was true. 

"How are you holding up?" she asked carefully, still looking at him as though trying to figure him out. Zack stiffened.

"You mean, with my sword-fighting skills? Hard to say, I haven't practiced in a while. Maybe I should spar with Cloud or something. Y'know, he gave me back the Buster Sword. Said he liked the Ultima Weapon better or something-"

"Zack-"

"Or maybe you're talking about my eating habits. You're right, I haven't been eating well lately. Well, we are on the road, and I am sick of this damn dried fruit and unidentifiable chunks of meat-"

"Zack, I said-"

"Well, what are you talking about!" he suddenly exploded, inexplicably angry, but not with her. "I can't read your mind, you know!"

"Zack, I meant with Aeris," she said patiently. "How are you holding up with…what's going on with her and Reno?"

He glared. "'Going on'? When was there something 'going on' between them?"

She sighed. "You're not making this easy. Everyone else has noticed. Don't you think that maybe they're…in love?"

He grunted noncommittally. 

"So…what I'm saying is, do you have a problem with Reno?" she said quietly. "We're going to meet up with him soon, that's all. May as well get it out in the open."

He looked away, suddenly finding the slumbering form of Sufur very interesting. "He's an asshole," he said lightly. "Grade-A asshole."

She touched his shoulder gently. "Reno's not an asshole, Zack," she said softly. "I mean, I had my doubts about him at first too." She actually laughed a bit, just a little chuckle under her breath. "But, as I've gotten to know him better, I think he's really a good person, behind that loud and…slightly obnoxious exterior. He…he has some qualities that…really suit Aeris' nicely. She's brought out the good in him." He looked back to see her smiling distantly. "I think they're really meant for each other." She shook her head, coming back to earth. "I'm sorry," she apologized suddenly. "I didn't mean to say that…when you-"

He shrugged off her hand, giving her a cold smirk. "Don't worry about it," he informed her coolly. "Look, Aeris is an adult, capable of making her own decisions. If that Reno's what floats her boat, well, whatever, fine with me." Sufur was starting to look interesting again. 

She put her hand over his. "Zack. Even though Aeris may not love you in that way anymore, you still have her friendship, and Cloud's. And mine." She squeezed his hand, then suddenly let go. He turned and looked at her, but she didn't meet his gaze. "And, even though I've been kind of a wreck lately…" she whispered, "you can talk to me, and I'll listen. I may not be able to help, but…I can be there for you." She seemed more like she was talking to herself, now. "After all, I know…" She swallowed hard. "I know what it's like to love someone who can't love me back…"

"Tifa, listen." He hesitated, not sure if he should say it. "About Cloud…Something's going on with him. I'm not sure what, but he's dealing with it in his own way. When he snaps at you, he doesn't mean it. You know that, right?"

She didn't say anything. Zack thought he could almost feel her heart breaking. Hating himself for bringing this up, he went on. 

"I mean, he really cares for you. I know it." She still didn't look up. Zack lapsed into an awkward silence, fidgeting.

"Please," she said softly, almost too soft to hear. "Can we not talk about Cloud right now? I don't…I don't really want to."

He nodded. "Sure." 

Tifa was blinking furiously, but whatever emotions she was struggling with, she kept them to herself. She pulled her legs up on the couch and wrapped her arms around them, resting her chin on her knees. She suddenly looked very forlorn, in that moment. Like a little girl. Lost. 

Gripped by impulse, he put his arms around her slender shoulders and drew her to him, hugging her gently. "I know you don't want to talk about it," he whispered. "It's just…I think we both need to be held right now."

She seemed to relax a bit. "Thank you," she whispered, her voice muffled by his shirt. "I'd like that." 

After a time, her breathing slowed and her grip around his middle slackened. Zack knew he should wake her (they were, after all, on guard duty), but he just couldn't make himself do it. It felt so peaceful, here like this, with his arms around the sleeping form of Tifa Lockheart. He hadn't held a woman like this…for a long time. And she really was beautiful.

He sighed, knowing there'd be hell to pay if Cloud woke up and saw them like this. She wouldn't want that.

__

Ah, I'll wake her eventually, he thought. _Why not let her sleep for a while? It's not like Sufur's going anywhere._

That decided, he relaxed, and let her sleep. 

**Dedicated to Zelda6, who was the inspiration for this chap. She also edited and fixed everything, and made it all sparkly…go blame her for the nice condition it's in.**

Hmm…is this becoming a love triangle? *Lila loves love triangles* Okay, I'll accept reader input. Just don't kill me if you don't get your way.

~Lila

PS- WOO! That was a LONG one, for me! Do you people like them shorter or longer? I dunno…maybe I like them shorter…*falls off computer chair*


	20. Beyond the Mountain

Chapter 19-

Beyond the Mountain

"In your dearest memories

Do you remember loving me?

Was it fate that brought us close

And now leave me behind?"

~_Melodies of Life_, Final Fantasy 9

The morning sunlight sparkled on the dewsprinkled grass, making it seem as though diamonds were embedded in the ground. It was a beautiful sight, but Reno wasn't seeing it. He kept his eyes straight ahead while he walked down the dirt path that led to the entrance of Nibelheim, concentrating on not falling over from exhaustion. He and the others had had a terrible past few days, trying to recuperate from the terrible blows Darryn's attack had inflicted. Without the airship or the plane, they had just lost access to supplies, materia and weapons. Now the only resource they had was the town itself, and stores there were dwindling fast.

Nibelheim was abandoned. All of Shinra's actors had packed up and left. There was no need for them to stay, they weren't getting paid. So, even though Cid's party had all been expecting it, it had been a little creepy to be trudging into a ghost town dripping with blood, sweat, and a good deal of tears. The good thing was that there were no town residents around to be horrified at the sight of them. On the flip side of that, there was no medical help for Adine.

The child was still alive, but in worse condition each day. Shera spent every spare moment at her side, but it was painfully clear that the Adine was dying. She shivered and moaned in her sleep, as though from bad dreams, and she asked for Tifa whenever she was conscious. Cid had decided they would stay in Tifa's house- or the replica of Tifa's house. Although the bartender wasn't there, the place really did seem to carry the cheerful, comforting air of Tifa. Reno had felt decidedly odd staying in someone's house when she wasn't even there, but it seemed to help Adine, if only a little.

Reno shielded his eyes from the sun as he reached the edge of town. He had to use his left hand; his right hung on a makeshift sling at his side. It still pained him sometimes, and getting the bullet out had been torture. (Vincent had helped him with that. Not surprisingly, the ex-Turk had been fairly knowledgeable about bullets and the wounds they caused. He hadn't been gentle with his little knife, though. Oh, no. At least good ol' Elena had had a Restore materia handy.) 

Lowering his arm, he reached inside his jacket pocket and retrieved a small flask of booze. He removed the cap and put the flash to his lips, enjoying the acrid taste of the liquid. The pub in Nibelheim had been working when they'd arrived. He and Rude spent much of their time there, more time than either of them was proud of. But, as Rude had pointed out, getting wasted felt a good deal better than just waiting around for something to happen. And reality was a lot more depressing than sitting at the bar in a drunken stupor. Sadly enough.

They were stuck in this empty town until Cloud and the others arrived. Cid had come up with the idea of taking shifts to watch for them- not because it really mattered. Reno privately though Cid had been simply trying to give them something to do. Maybe get him and Rude out of the bar.

But he'd volunteered to take the first shift this morning. Hell, he had nothing better to do anyway. It was better than watching Rude drink himself drunk. Or doing it himself.

With these thoughts running through his head, he put the cap back on the flask and returned it to his pocket. Drinking in the morning wasn't a good thing. It tended to mess you up for the rest of the day, slow you down, and cloud your thinking. 

"Reno!" 

He looked up to see Aeris running toward him. He was a little surprised at how glad he was to see her. His face broke into a grin. "Hey, Aeris!"

She flew into his arms, hugging him tightly. At first startled, then pleased (_Typical female response, _he thought), he put his arms around her slender waist, breathing in the scent of her hair. Why did Aeris' hair always smell so good? Like wildflowers.

She pulled away from him enough to smile happily. He noticed with some alarm that her green eyes were unusually bright. "I've missed you." 

"Is it just me this time?" he couldn't help saying. "Or _all _of us?"

She laughed and hugged him again. He gave an involuntary gasp as she squeezed his bad arm, but didn't say anything, as he wasn't especially eager for her to let go. 

Over the top of her head, he saw the others trudging over the rise. Cloud was in the lead, walking with his head down. Nanaki trotted at his side. Some distance behind were Zack and Tifa. Zack did not look at all happy when he saw Aeris embracing Reno and made a point to glare. Tifa squeezed his arm and whispered something in his ear. He didn't reply, but relaxed. 

Feeling suddenly embarrassed, Reno stepped back from Aeris. She smiled and waved to the others as though nothing at all had happened. 

Last of all was a man, a stranger. Even before he got close, Reno knew immediately it had to be Sufur. Aeris was right. Maybe it was the arrogant strut of his walk, the way he seemed to be looking down at you, even from a distance, but he just _felt_ unpleasant. 

The feeling increased when Sufur came to a stop a few feet in front of him. The others were gathered round, also, but he was the first to speak. "Reno," he said, sounding amused. "How ironic."

__

How the hell does he know my name? Reno wondered, but didn't say it out loud. He was too busy trying to make sense of the man's appearance. His features seemed to meld together, and any attempt to make sense of Sufur's face just made Reno's head hurt. He saw a red pendant at Sufur's throat, and somehow his mind kept coming back to it. At last he had to look away, feeling nauseated and perplexed. He caught sight of Aeris staring at him insistently. 

__

See what I mean? She mouthed. 

Shaking his head to clear it, he stepped back, looking at the others. Deciding to ignore the freak, he said, "Man, I'm glad you guys are here." 

"Likewise," Cloud said, although he didn't sound like he meant it. Damn, the guy looked _tired. _You'd have thought he hadn't slept for a month. 

"Adine," Tifa interrupted, looking uneasy. "How…is she?"

Reno sighed, wishing he didn't have to be the one to say this. He'd felt bad for Cid those few nights ago. "She's hanging in there, but…look, Teef. We don't know if she's going to make it. Last night she threw up blood…" He trailed off, cursing himself for that last sentence. 

Tifa was dead white. "Can I see her?" she asked in a strangely calm voice. 

The mood abruptly changed, everyone remembering the seriousness of the situation. Reno looked again at Sufur (he wanted to have a little "discussion" with the guy), but followed Tifa's request and led everyone through town. He watched as the crushing silence slowly got to everyone, a grim reminder of Nibelheim's history. Cloud, especially, seemed affected by it. Reno really couldn't blame him; this was, after all, his hometown. Tifa stared straight ahead, lips tightly pressed together. Her entire façade was too calm, yet too tense. Like a rubber band stretched too tight and ready to snap. Zack seemed to want to calm her, somehow; he kept opening his mouth, about to say something, then changed his mind and closed it. Finally, he patted her shoulder, and Tifa managed a weak, if not convincing smile. Reno inwardly groaned. Things were falling apart already; he could feel it. When _Tifa's_ smiles weren't convincing… 

He led them to her house. Cid was there, nervously smoking a cigarette at the kitchen table. He jumped up and greeted them. "Cloud! Oh, man! I never thought I'd see your spiky ass again!"

"Thanks, Cid," Cloud said, trying to smile. He sank down in a chair beside the pilot. "Tell me the situation here."

Cid took a long drag on his cigarette. "Okay, well, Vincent, Yuffie, Barret and the kid are at the supply store, trying to see what they can dredge up…"

Reno left them to their leadership duties and led the way upstairs. Shera was sitting by Adine's bed, mopping the child's sweating face with a wet cloth. Tifa's breath caught sharply at the sight, and flew to the bedside.

"She's been sinking in and out of consciousness," the mechanic said quietly. "I'm glad you're here." 

Tifa met Shera's eyes, anguished but mutely grateful. 

Reno backed away, looking longingly at the doorway. He hated being here, hated seeing an innocent child dying because of something they couldn't fight, something that couldn't be stopped. If Jenova was actually here, reaching for the girl to snatch her life away with terrible claws, then they could fight her, or at least try. This way, things were different. Jenova was here all right, but not in fighting form. More like a parasite, sucking the life from the innocent.

It scared him. He didn't want to sit and watch Adine die. If he couldn't find Jenova and kill her, he wanted to at least be away from there. Maybe get drunk to make himself forget.

He watched as Aeris stepped over to the bed and knelt beside Tifa. "Let me see," she said, gently reaching under the blankets to extract Adine's left hand. The Sresla was still there, still blood-red.

"She still has a chance," Aeris said, smiling reassuringly at Tifa. "It's not black yet."

Tifa took the child's hand from Aeris', rubbing the back of it with her thumb, as though to remove the evil stain. "I just wish I could've done something, so that... this wouldn't have happened," she whispered, her brown eyes heavy with guilt. 

"Don't say that, Tifa," Aeris said softly. "Blaming yourself is the first step on the path to self-destruction."

Tifa looked haunted. Before she could say anything, though, Adine's eyes fluttered. 

"Tifa?" the child whispered. "Are you here?"

"I'm here," Tifa said soothingly, stroking the side of the girl's face. "I'm right here."

Adine gripped Tifa's hand tightly. "I don't feel good," she complained quietly. "But I'm glad you're here, Tifa. It makes me feel better…"

"You'll get well soon," Tifa promised. "I'll make sure you do."

"Okay," Adine said, beginning to cough. "I believe you. It's just-" She broke off in a fit of coughing, bringing both hands up to cover her mouth. 

At this, Tifa gasped and squeezed Aeris' arm. Aeris herself felt the blood drain from her face. 

The Sresla had turned black. Adine would certainly die.

At this, it took every ounce of Tifa's self-will not to start sobbing right then. She refused to show her despair and frighten the girl. With an effort, she swallowed back her feelings and merely patted Adine on the back, trying to relieve her choking spasms.

Aeris couldn't keep it in. She couldn't take the sudden realization that they were about to lose someone dear to them because of an unseen enemy they couldn't fight, couldn't resist in any kind of way. It was too much. Hurriedly she got up, shoved past Rude and Elena with a muttered, "Excuse me," and fled the room.

Reno hesitated, then ran after her. "Hey, Aeris! Wait!"

He caught up to her some distance down the hall, before the entrance to the room where Tifa's father had once stepped. She'd stopped before the doorframe at the sound of his voice, facing the wall. 

He came to a halt a few feet from her. "Aeris…"

She whirled around, tears running down her cheeks. "I can't take it, Reno!" she cried. "She's doing this to torment us! It isn't fair!"

__

Who said anything was fair? He suddenly thought. _In any kind of war, there are always those who fight dirty. And there's nothing you can do. _Aloud he said, "It isn't fair. But this is Jenova we're talking about. She isn't going to play by our rules." 

She looked so fragile and crushed, in that moment, that he was sorely tempted to take her in his arms again. Just to comfort her, wipe away her tears- _No! Don't start thinking like that! Bad idea!_

Aeris sniffed and made an effort to regain her composure. "You're right," she whispered. "But it's so terrible, what she's doing. It's always the innocent who die first, isn't it?" She bit a trembling lip. 

How true. Reno shoved back bitter memories of Sector 7, memories that refused to let him go. He looked at the floor. "It bothers me, too. Sometimes I get to thinking: Oh, shit. What are we going to do about this? We can't fight. We're going to lose. We're going to die." He looked hard into her eyes. "But then I realize that that's exactly what she wants me to think, and I'm letting her win when I think like that. No matter how much it hurts…" He trailed off. He hadn't meant to say that. 

She looked at him with those green eyes of hers, those eyes that seemed to be looking into his soul. "Are you saying," she said slowly, "that you're hurting, Reno?" she leaned close. "Maybe…recognizing the value of human life?"

He looked away from her intense gaze. "Aeris…" It disturbed him when she did this, trying to make him see what she saw. It was pointless, and tiresome. There was simply no reason to dig around in the disgusting depravity of his soul, to search for some spark of goodness. But he knew that Aeris wouldn't listen to reason. She was convinced that there was something inside of him, something they both had yet to see. She just had to bring it out.

Lots of luck.

"Don't do this, Aeris," he said wearily. "Not now, okay?"

She looked at him earnestly, as though ready to disagree, and Reno was suddenly struck by how beautiful she was. Her soft brown hair was coming loose of its customary braid, letting caramel locks hang free around her heart-shaped face. Her lips were slightly parted, and possessed the same pink cast as her cheeks as she tried to think of a retort. Her emerald-green eyes brimmed with an emotion he couldn't identify. 

He made himself stop gawking and turned away slightly. "Not now, Aeris?" he repeated, a little harsher this time. She gave a nod and looked down, the light in her eyes fading. 

"Excuse me."

They both whirled around to face Sufur. Reno saw Aeris' jaw clench and her eyes narrow. The sight startled him a little. Aeris actively showing dislike for someone was like Elena putting on Tifa's mini-skirt and going para-sailing. It just wasn't supposed to happen. "Yes?" she said shortly.

Sufur made a little bow. "My apologies," he said graciously. "Am I interrupting?"

Reno suddenly realized that it wasn't really dislike Aeris felt for this man so much as fear. She was deathly afraid of him. Her fear seemed to spread over them both like a cloak, tangible enough to touch. Without thinking he Instinctively stepped in front of her. 

"Yes, you are interrupting," he said coldly. "Now do us a favor and take your apologies elsewhere."

He expected Sufur to yell or get angry, which would have been nice, because then Reno would've had an excuse to beat the shit out of him- but the mysterious man only nodded and turned, preparing to walk away. Then he stopped and looked back.

"Reno…weren't you once a Turk of Shinra?"

"I might've been," Reno snapped, not liking this at all. "Not anymore. What's it to you?" 

Sufur looked mildly surprised. "Well, it's just that you're wearing the uniform, that's all. Why wear it if you're not a Turk anymore?"

Reno scowled. "Don't you have somewhere to go?"

Sufur seemed to smile. "Till next time, then." Without another word, he strutted away. 

Reno stared after him, glowering. It was only when Aeris put a gentle hand on his arm did he realize his left hand was clutching the hilt of his nightstick, ready to draw it. 

"You were about to let him have it," she said quietly. 

He shrugged, releasing the weapon. "I could tell you weren't too fond of him."

"You could?" Suddenly she laughed out loud. "Once a bodyguard, always a bodyguard."

Reno grinned, in spite of himself. "Hey, remember back while ago, when you first hired me?" That had been when they first "met", so to speak- if you didn't count the numerous times he'd been sent by Shinra to persecute her.

"How could I forget?"

"Y'know, you never paid me back for that favor. You still owe me a date."

She looked indignant. "What?!"

"Hey, a promise is a promise," he taunted her. 

She glared, although he knew her well enough to know she was fighting back laughter. "Reno, I did not _promise_ you a date. You tricked me into agreeing with you!"

He grinned. "Whatever. Call it what you will, but you owe me, sister."

She shrugged it off, looking disturbed, and he let it drop. Something was bothering her. "What is it?"

She sighed. "Just thinking about…everything. Our fight against Jenova. Adine, the Sresla. And Sufur…he bothers me."

He looked at her sharply. "Why?"

Too late, she realized she'd said too much. Dropping her gaze to the floor, she murmured, "No reason. He's just odd, that's all."

He grabbed her by the shoulders roughly. "Dammit, Aeris, you're hiding something! I know you; you're not telling me the whole story because you think I'll overreact. Just trust me."

Something flashed across her face, something akin to the same fear she'd shown Sufur, but different, somehow. "You really think you know me?" she said softly. "You really think you know what…I…" She broke off suddenly, pulling away from Reno to hide her face in her hands. He didn't let her get away, grabbed her again, but gently, this time. 

"Aeris." He looked at her carefully. "What happened to you guys, when we were separated? The whole story." When she looked like she wasn't about to answer, he added, "Please."

That decided her, for she had never known Reno to say "please" unless he honestly cared. Not looking at him, she began, telling him the whole story since she, Cloud, Zack, Nanaki and Tifa set foot in the Shinra building. Her voice remained steady while she told him of the horribly mutated Cetra in Hojo's lab…until the end.

"I killed them." She whispered tremulously. "My own people. They gave me the words in our own tongue…I performed the Ritual…and that was it."

Reno stared. Why was she so upset? "Aeris, it's no big deal. They asked you to-"

"'No big deal'?!" she repeated, looking up with green eyes flashing. "That's all you can say? Those were sentient lives I took, Reno! And although you may have never cared about lives, I do!" 

__

She's really shaken, Reno realized. It was completely unlike Aeris to make any mention of his bloody past for fear of bringing back unwanted memories. Ignoring the unexpected hurt that stung the back of his throat, he said calmly, "So, what? You wish you hadn't done it?"

"No…" She looked away, biting her lower lip. "I did it because they asked me to…because they were suffering. Because…" She stopped. "Because there was no other way out for them," she finished softly. 

He nodded. "I see." He leaned against the wall, breathing a deep sigh. Pure, untainted Aeris, taking a sentient life. He thought he should have been alleviated, but he wasn't. Oddly enough, he felt…disappointed. Let down.

"Reno, I'm sorry for what I said back there," Aeris said, misinterpreting his silence. She put a hand on his shoulder as she spoke, trying to catch his eye. "I didn't mean to say-"

He cut her off. "Aeris, do you hate me?"

She seemed appalled that he would even ask. "Reno, I could never hate you."

"Do you think I'm some kind of monster, then?" He didn't look at her. 

"Reno, why are you doing this?" She sounded hurt. "You may have done some bad things in your life. I'm sure I don't know half of what you've done."

She didn't. That was probably a blessing. If she did, she'd probably run screaming in the other direction. 

"And even if I did," she continued vehemently, "I still couldn't hate you. Because you're not the man you were those years ago, Reno. You se things you didn't see before. You hear things you didn't hear before. You…you feel things didn't feel before."

He finally looked at her, then. Her green eyes were locked onto his own, and he suddenly had trouble breathing. All he could think of was her…her beauty, her compassion, her unbelievable capacity for forgiveness…

The red pendant Sufur wore suddenly entered his mind again. Gripped by the intensity of the image, Reno almost cried out, but managed to stop himself just in time. He tore his gaze away and swallowed hard, trying to regain control of himself. 

Sometimes things like that happened to him, visions, instincts that warded him off. He wasn't sure if it was because he was a Turk or just something that happened to him alone, but sometimes, when he was in danger of being distracted or about to make a stupid decision, his subconscious would kick in. This time, the message had been more than clear. It was one had received many times before: _Don't let feelings get in the way of what's important. _

"Reno? You okay?" Aeris sounded concerned. 

He took a steadying breath. "Fine," he said, then changed the subject abruptly. "You know, you haven't told me the rest of the story."

Looking puzzled, maybe even a little hurt, Aeris shrugged. "All right…well, after we left the room, we met Sufur."

To his credit, Reno never said a word through her description of their encounter with Sufur. He even stayed quiet when she spoke about his 'conversation" with her and Tifa that morning before they reached Junon. But when she told of the way he'd attacked her…

"I knew it!" Reno exploded, punching the wall with his fist. The cheap plaster (Shinra had only to replicate the town. They hadn't had to do a good job of it) smashed easily, and naturally Reno got his hand caught in the wall. Cursing, he extracted it, sending slivers of mortar raining down on Aeris. Throughout it all, the Turk went on ranting.

"I knew that guy was no good! 'Voice in his head', my ass! He was lying through his damn teeth, the bastard! I can't believe Cloud didn't get rid of him right there. This is total bullshit! Why didn't Cloud get rid of him right there?!" he demanded, suddenly whirling on Aeris.

She calmly flicked a chip of plaster from her hair. "Because Cloud's no hypocrite. He's been there, so to speak, and if Sufur was telling the truth, then we would've been murdering an innocent. And if he was lying…" She paused. "Well, we have no way of knowing whether he was lying or not. Innocent until proven guilty."

Reno, suddenly calm, ironically thought of the merciless laws imposed by Shinra. Guilty until proven innocent. The Turks were a big part of that little rule. 

And in his mind, Sufur was guilty.

They were going to have to have a little talk.

******

Adine was asleep, but Tifa still kept a tight rein on her emotions. She was quite simply afraid she'd have a breakdown soon. Even though Zack was the only one who was remained in the room. The others had left to their own business- not that she minded Sufur's loss. And Cloud…well, something about him was starting to scare her a little. He was always so cold, and…different, somehow. Lately she'd been finding herself making little excuses to stay away from him. It was weird. 

Standing behind her, Zack shifted awkwardly and cleared his throat. "Tifa...you okay?" He felt stupid; there was absolutely no way she was okay right now. She probably wouldn't answer; it had been an idiotic thing to say, really.

She half-turned to look at him. "I've been better," she said softly. "How about you?" Seeing Reno and Aeris together like that must have hurt him, she knew. Zack was going through such a rough time…she wished she could help him, somehow. But she didn't even have her own emotions figured out. Some help she'd be.

"Well…at least I didn't do anything I might regret…" he said ruefully, almost sounding as though he wished he _had_. 

"You did good." A tremulous smile floated on her lips. "I'm proud of you."

His heart broke for her, seeing that smile. Here she was, practically a nervous wreck from strain and worry, and _she_ was trying to reassure _him_. She had to be dying inside, but she still managed to sustain that smile. For some reason, he just felt he had to put his arms around her. He took a step forward…but she suddenly got to her feet and headed for the window. He followed, coming to a halt beside her. She was close enough, but he didn't try to touch her.

"You know," Tifa whispered, still staring out the window, "this is the room where my mom…died..."

"Your mom?" He knew Tifa's mother was deceased, but he hadn't really thought about it until now. His own parents…he hadn't seen them for so long, he'd practically forgotten them. 

"I was about Adine's age…" Tifa's voice was faint. One of her hands pressed lightly on the window, as though it was the only barrier that separated reality from her memories. "I knew she was dying, but…I wouldn't admit it, for the longest time…" Was that what she was doing with Adine? Just wishing away the truth…? 

Like with Cloud. For so long, she had refused to see. She shoved that thought aside; she didn't want to think of Cloud, just now. But it couldn't be helped, naturally. Just outside the window was his house…the house he'd grown up in. 

"I think I went a little crazy, when Mom died," she said quietly. "And that was when…when Cloud rescued me." 

His eyebrows flew up. "'Rescued you'? What happened?"

She stared out the window, but she wasn't looking at the scenery. She was seeing something else, something visible only to her. "There's an old wives tale about the dead going through the mountains." Tifa's hand traced little patterns on the window. Zack watched, fascinated. "I…I wanted to see Mom again, so I went up the trail…to look behind the mountains. That was before I knew them that well. I fell…" 

"You fell?" He couldn't help it, that concern creeping into his voice. She'd ended up just fine, obviously, but just the thought of her getting hurt…

She nodded. "Cloud went after me, and we both fell off the bridge."

"Were you okay?" he asked.

"Actually, I was in a coma for a week. Cloud wasn't badly hurt, though, so everyone blamed him. He got in trouble…just because he was worried about me." 

Her eyes were a little misty, and Zack's gut twisted a bit as he saw the all-too-familiar flash of hero-worship in her eyes, displacing the grim sadness there for a moment.

"That's why I asked him to be my hero." She grinned at the floor, embarrassed. "Because he already was…"

She'd asked Cloud to be her hero? Man, this was worse than he'd thought. He swallowed hard and turned away. He hated to think of what his face looked like right then. Why did he always have to like women who already had their own prince charming? Although who could consider Reno charming, or a prince...

Tifa went on. "I couldn't set foot in here for a while…after Mom died. Dad couldn't either, so he started sleeping in the study. But…" The smile was gone from her face now. "A couple of years later, I asked him to make this into my room. I thought…this was where I could still feel her presence…" She glanced over to the bed. "I wonder if she's watching over Adine, too…" Her smile was sad, but it held a hint of warmth in it, and it brought a smile to his face as well. 

"You're watching over her, Tifa," he pointed out. "She's in good hands."

"But…I can't do anything for her." She swallowed hard and tried to look away, but his gaze found hers.

"Don't say that," he whispered. "You just don't know what it means to someone…just to have a warm hand. Someone who cares."

She stared at him, confused. 

"You know," he began, "I don't remember it real well, but that time I got shot outside of Midgar…I thought it was all over. But someone helped me. I wasn't sure, exactly, why she bothered…but she used this materia on me, and then…she…" He focused his eyes hazily on her, suddenly realizing something. It couldn't be, could it? The woman who had helped him…she had also had wine-red eyes…

"Someone helped you?" she said carefully.

"Yeah," he replied, shaking off the feeling. "She got me to stop bleeding, and took me to some friends of hers. I was real messed up for a while, but I couldn't forget her. I always wanted to find her, to thank her for helping me…" He looked at her again, and was sure this time. "It was you, wasn't it?" 

Tifa stared into his sky-blue eyes. They had some kind of appraising cast to them, or maybe…accusing? She swallowed hard. She'd remembered this, back when she'd met up with him again, but it wasn't a proud moment for her, and she hadn't brought it up. "I'm sorry. I tried to explain it to you, but you couldn't seem to understand what I was saying." Her eyes seemed to be plastered to her feet. "I didn't have a place for you to stay at the time." She felt absolutely mortified. Yeah, she'd saved him, but she'd left him in a lurch, and he'd ended up in Hojo's hands again. How many years of his life had he lost…all because she'd done such a half-assed job? Tears threatened to well in her eyes again. She hadn't helped him, and she couldn't help Adine, either.

Zack couldn't believe it. She looked absolutely gutted by guilt. He didn't know what to do…cry or laugh at the irony of it all. He tried to explain. "Look, I'm not mad at you, Tifa. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't even be here today. I just really wanted to see…her…again." He looked at her, curious. "You recognized me, didn't you? Why didn't you say something?" 

"I couldn't do anything for you…so…" She still hung her head, looking like a kicked dog. She still felt guilty, despite his kind words. 

"See?" He smiled at her. "You saved my life, and you didn't even know it. So…how do you know that just seeing you here when she wakes up…_won't _help Adine?" 

She shook her head. "But there's no materia that can help her."

"But we'll help her." He tried to keep the worry out of his own voice. "We'll find a way. You guys beat Jenova before. She's just gotta hang on a little longer…"

She didn't reply, not looking convinced. He stepped close, hesitantly reaching out to cradle her face in both hands. Her eyes looked into his, and her own gloved hand reached up to touch his. 

"You believe me, don't you, Tifa?" he said softly. "You just have to be strong…for her."

She nodded, mutely grateful. Something about the way he was looking at her right then- she couldn't help it. His gaze was so intense, his hands felt so warm on her face…she fell against him, wrapping her arms around him. It had been so long since she had tasted comfort like this…so long since Cloud had drifted away…

Just then, Cloud himself appeared in the doorway. His eyes were sharp; they seemed to be slicing a hole into her as she stood in Zack's arms. She stiffened, but didn't move away. She felt Zack's arms tighten around her, almost possessively, maybe even a little…protectively…

"Hey." Cloud's expression was blank, except for his hard eyes. Even his voice was emotionless, indifferent. 

Tifa hid her face, not wanting to look at Cloud's eyes anymore. She listened as Zack did the talking. "What's up?"

"We're having a meeting," Cloud said coolly. "Tonight. We'll let everyone rest up till then. Just thought you should know." 

"Okay." Zack sounded calm, as though he wasn't the slightest bit embarrassed. "We'll be there."

"Fine." Cloud hesitated for a moment, his eyes flickering to Tifa. "Sorry to interrupt," he added icily, then turned on his heel and left.

_Great_, Zack thought. More guilt was the last thing Tifa needed. 

"I'm sorry." She pulled away from him a little, not meeting his eyes. "I really shouldn't…"

He wanted to keep holding her, wanted to shout, _Dammit Tifa! You deserve better than him! _But he said nothing, allowed her to move away. She didn't need to be yelled at, she needed space. And rest. He could see the fatigue in her eyes. His staying here wouldn't help her, either.

"I'd better go." He stepped to the door, then looked back. "You get some rest, alright, Tifa?"

She nodded. "I'll try. Um…I don't think I'll be going to the meeting. Would you please tell Cloud I'll be staying with Adine?"

Zack didn't relish the idea of having to speak with Cloud, but he would do it for Tifa. Somehow, a part of him just wanted to keep her _away _from the guy. It was an awful feeling, because Cloud was- or maybe used to be- a close friend of his. But, looking at Tifa, the feeling only increased. After all…she had once been a close friend of Cloud's, too. And now she was doing whatever she could to stay out of his way.

He left, closing the door behind him. As soon as he was gone, Tifa fell to the floor, shoulders shaking with silent sobs. 

****

~And now a note from the author~

Ugh…major apologies for the length. It's mostly fluff and relationship-building, I know. *sighs* Well, some of you did remind me I promised romance, and it's either this or the gunfights. *grin* Plus V-Day was today, and it's Relinquishing's birthday tomorrow! *party horn*

Oh, and HUGE thanks goes to Zelda6 for helping me with the latter half of this chapter! (We all know she's the expert on Tifa/Zack) I'm still not quite certain what to do with this triangle…need input…*grins devilishly*

Um, yeah, there is a point to all this fluff and relationship-building, as you'll see later. Do you guys like romance? Or shall we get back to the "gunfights in the dark"?

And ONE more thing…I need help thinking of a little title for the trilogy. PLEASE help me, I'm desperate. I want something to link all three of them together…help? Please?

Luv you all! Thanks for sticking with me!

~Lila 


	21. Check

Chapter 20-

Check

"She gets up and pours herself a strong one

And stares at the stars up in the sky

Another night, it's gonna be a long one

She draws the shade and hangs her head to cry."

~_Lyin' Eyes_, Eagles

The fire crackled in the grate, the flickering flames seeming to leap out at the group of people gathered in front of it in Tifa's living room. The occupants either didn't notice or didn't care, too wrapped up in their own problems to give anything else a thought. That was the way it was with Cloud.

He stared at the expectant faces gathered around him. They were all dependent on him, waiting for him to assume leadership mode and tell them everything was going to be okay. He didn't think he'd be able to do that this time around. It wasn't going to be okay. 

The dreams were worse every night, and sometimes he thought he heard Jenova's voice during the day, too. Either that or he was finally going insane. He wouldn't be surprised.

He rubbed his eyes tiredly, wishing he could rub away the memory of Tifa enclosed in Zack's arms. He shouldn't have been so surprised. With the way he'd been pushing her away, it was only natural that she'd turn to Zack for comfort. He was, after all, everything Cloud wanted to be but couldn't. He was _real_.

"Cloud?" Yuffie sat by herself, knees pulled up to her chest with her arms wrapped around them. "Where's Tifa?"

_Staying away from me. _"Upstairs. She's sitting this one out."

"Can't really blame her," Zack murmured. "She's got a lot on her mind." Cloud looked at him sharply.

"And you'd know?" Cloud suddenly felt inexplicably angry with his friend…angry enough he suddenly hated him. Zack, SOLDIER, First Class…a ladies' man…Aeris' first boyfriend…now playing with Tifa's affections.

"Yeah, I would." Now Zack sounded carefully calm. "You think I can't tell she's going through a tough time right now?"

"She didn't look so unhappy when I walked in earlier." What was he doing? He was being stupid, letting his emotions run away with him. But he couldn't stop.

"What the hell did you want me to do?" Zack snapped defensively, ignoring the fact that he wasn't telling the whole story. "She needed somebody! Adine may be dying, Cloud!"

He was right. Tifa needed someone. _Someone else, not me. _Cloud swallowed an angry retort, forcing himself to calm down. This was no time to be arguing. There were more important things to worry about.

"So what now?" Reno asked, breaking the silence. He leaned against the wall, suspiciously close to the chair Aeris was sitting in. Cloud wasn't sure what he thought of Reno and Aeris together. His biggest concern was the Turk's sincerity. If he hurt Aeris, Cloud wouldn't forgive him. Even after all this time, he still didn't trust the Turks much.

He answered anyway. "We've got to figure out what our next move is. Here's what we know so far." He counted off his fingers.

"One: Somehow, Jenova has returned. Evidence at the Shinra lab suggests it was triggered by someone, although we don't know for sure. Also, if that's the case, why?" He threw up his hands. "Personal gain? Or maybe he was forced into it? There's a big grey area there."

"It was probably that Darryn bastard," Cid interrupted. "That was the same place we found those hacked-up corpses. It sounds like something he'd do."

"But for what?" Nanaki pondered aloud. 

No one knew. It was foolhardy, bringing back that monster. But then, many of Darryn's pursuits were foolhardy.

"In any case, he's dead now," Elena said firmly. "Whether all this was his fault or not, we don't need to worry about him anymore."

Cloud nodded. "Okay." He held up another finger. "Two. Jenova is spreading a deadly virus called the Sresla. As far as we know, it's incurable and unstoppable. Supposedly, Jenova is doing this in order to draw us out." Here he glanced at Aeris, but didn't mention the fact that Jenova obviously wanted the last Ancient, too. "That thing wants us dead. Revenge, most likely."

No one said anything. Cloud went on, holding up three fingers. "Three. Jenova can also create mind-shattering illusions in an attempt to break us. However, it is possible to resist the illusions if you keep your head, right, Elena?" He darted a glance at the blond Turk.

She nodded. "Yeah. But you can get hurt by them." Eyes shadowed by the memory, she shrank back against the wall, as though it would protect her. Rude put a comforting arm around her.

Cloud sighed and held up a fourth finger. "Four, she is also striking us where we're weakest- by infecting Adine. How did she even know about her?" Cloud's piercing blue eyes were hard. "She has to be tracking us somehow. Meaning we have no way of taking her by surprise. We really don't have any way of forcing this showdown. So all we can do is wait." 

Barret leaped up, his gaze flashing fire. Marlene clung to his leg as he began shouting. "'Wait'? That's all we can do?" He shook his meaty fist angrily. "An' how many more are gonna die while we jus' sit an' wait, huh? We hafta do sumthin' _now_, Cloud!" He looked down at Marlene and visibly calmed, lowering his hand to smooth her hair. "'Sides," he continued more quietly, "if we don't do something, my daughter'll lose her best friend."

Cloud nodded. "I understand how you feel, Barret, but there's nothing we can do. It's like a chess game. It's her move now. All we can do is wait."

Barret sank back down, defeated. Reno watched him, eyes narrowed. _Some chess game, _he thought bitterly. _We can't forfeit this one. The stakes are set way too high. _

Aeris, sitting in a chair, tilted her head to smile at him. She reached up and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "I remember what you told me that night during the storm," she whispered. "We mustn't lose hope."

Strange. It was like she'd read his mind. He smiled back, but she had just reminded him of his plan to speak with Sufur. He had to find the guy. "Anyone know where Sufur is?"

Cid jerked his cigarette in the direction of the door. "I saw him head outside a while ago. Said he wanted to see the town." He laughed. "Probably pilfering the houses."

Reno gave a nod and stepped to the door. "I'm gonna go see what he's up to."

Cid shrugged, blowing a cloud of smoke in his direction. "Yeah, it's dangerous to be wandering around alone out there. Though I can't say his loss would be earth-shattering."

Reno agreed, but didn't voice his opinion. "Be back in a while." He ducked out the door, leaving the warmth of the fire behind.

The air was crisp and cold, seeping through his thin suit jacket. Reno could see his breath, floating in front of him like the last fragile shred of hope, before finally dissipating into the chilly air. Even though it was now late enough to be really dark outside, a full moon illuminated the empty houses. Stars hung overhead, a million watchful eyes judging him in all their divinity. Lousy things couldn't mind their own business.

In the center of town was the Nibelheim well. Reno watched it with a fleeting moment's sadness. Things had changed so much, but the stupid old well still worked. Like those damned stars, it was unchanging, eternal. Weird.

Sufur sat on the edge of the wooden structure, staring up at the sky as though it possessed secrets he had to know. Reno wanted to laugh. The stars weren't about to share anything with the likes of _him_. For some reason, he seemed to have something against stars tonight. Maybe it was their constancy, their unwavering brilliance. Stars were so high above, unreachable. Always looking down on him.

Tearing his gaze from the sky, Reno made his way over to the well and clambered up it easily. He's always liked climbing; it gave him the feeling that he was getting closer to his dreams, closer to where the stars stared down at him. One of his favorite childhood pastimes had been racing the other slum kids up a crumbling wall. He'd always won.

Sufur didn't react when Reno sank down beside him, but took his eyes off the heavens, staring at Reno instead. Feeling uncomfortable under that gaze he couldn't return, Reno felt in his breast pocket for a pack of cigarettes. He stuck one between his lips, lighting it with a lighter he'd filched from Cid. "Cigarette?" 

Sufur declined. "I don't smoke."

They sat in silence for a few minutes until Sufur sighed heavily and turned to look at him. "Well? Go ahead. Demand to know why I attacked your girlfriend."

__

Damn, this guy's fast. "She's not my girlfriend," Reno said quickly. "Just a friend I watch out for, that's all." He smoked quietly for a minute, then said, "So? Why did you?"

Sufur sighed. "Jenova…can make you do very strange things."

Some distance away, Cloud put a hand to his head, gritting his teeth against the sudden pain. 

__

-Failure, failure, all your life a failure- 

"Cloud?" It was Nanaki. "What's the matter?"

_-Tifa's suffering, and it's all your fault-_

"Fine," he gasped, wiping a hand over his face. "Just the beginnings of a migraine, that's all." 

__

-You can't even protect her without hurting her, that's how much of a failure you are-

"Bullshit," Reno growled, flicking away the half-smoked cigarette. "I'm not stupid. Don't even try those games with me."

Sufur seemed to smile. "And how many times has Jenova entered your mind?"

_-Why haven't you eliminated the threat right away? Isn't that what SOLDIER, First Class, is supposed to do?-_

-You were never in SOLDIER!-

-But you know you must eliminate the threat. It's the right thing to do-

-What threat?-

-Don't be stupid. You're the threat. It's the only way to protect everyone. Protect Tifa-

-They need you. Jenova's the threat. Eliminate her-

-What if Barret's right? It's not her move, it's yours-

-Eliminate the threat-

-Stop it!- 

Reno swallowed. "There's no way Jenova could make me hurt Aer- the others."

Sufur raised an eyebrow…or so was the impression he gave. "I'm sure you're right."

"I know I am."

The faceless man gave him a sideways glance, as though uncertain how to voice his next question. "So why do you still wear the uniform? I should think it'd be possible to obtain new clothes by now."

"Don't give me that smartass crap," Reno snapped. "I wear it because…"

"Mm?"

Reno sighed. "Who am I, without Shinra? Just some lowlife drunk. The uniform makes me feel like I'm someone, like I still belong. There really isn't any reason except for the fact that I'm pretty much hopeless, without something to believe in."

Sufur watched him with that penetrating gaze. "Are you saying you'd go back to Shinra, given the chance?"

Reno shrugged uncomfortably. "I don't know…it's just like nothing's changed, since then, you know? I don't feel any better or worse about myself than I did then. I should feel better, shouldn't I? Since I'm on the good guys' side?"

__

You son of a bitch, Reno, Sufur unexpectedly thought. _You may still be useful to me. _But the girl…she would have to be disposed of.

_-Yourmoveyourmoveyourmoveyourmoveyourmoveyourmoveyourmove-_

"Cloud, maybe you should lie down," Elena suggested. "You don't look so good."

He wiped his sweating brow and tried to smile. "I'm alright." He glanced about, and his gaze fell on Zack. 

It was odd. All of a sudden, he just wasn't angry with Zack anymore. He hadn't done anything wrong, hadn't actually tried to take Tifa away. Whatever happened with Tifa, it was Cloud's fault and Cloud's alone. 

The realization suddenly made him start sweating all over again, but when he spoke, his voice was steady. "Zack, could you check on Tifa? Just see how she's doing?"

Zack gave a nod and started up the stairs.

Cloud wiped his brow again, closing his eyes.

_-Yourmoveyourmoveyourmoveyourmoveyourmoveyourmoveyour-_

Reno suddenly looked confused. "Why am I telling you all this? I don't even like you."

The pendant burned against Sufur's skin, as though to provide an answer.

"You're creepy." Reno gave him a suspicious look. "I've just decided that. I'm outta here." With that he jumped off the edge of the well, landing in a crouch. As he straightened he heard Sufur call after him. 

"You're wrong." He gave a slow laugh. "About how nothing's changed. You're wrong. Everything's changed."

Reno stared at the guy for a minute, feeling decidedly uneasy. Then he turned and practically ran back to Tifa's house. 

******Zack meandered down the hall, wondering what was with Cloud. There was something going on with his friend, he knew it…but he wasn't sure how to help. The way Cloud had looked, back in the sitting room, it was scary. As though he'd given up hope, somehow. Like he was only acting the part of a leader, maybe just for their sake. 

Sad…

By the time he'd reached Tifa's door, his thoughts had been interrupted by a soft melodic voice. It took him a minute to realize it was actually Tifa singing. Carefully, he opened the door. He froze in the doorway, riveted, and unconsciously held his breath as he watched the scene before him. Watched her lips caress the lilting notes. Watched her eyes fall half-closed, her hand gently woven in Adine's soft curls. 

__

Little moon-white girl,

Eyes snowy and bright,

Dance beyond the song of night.

Dance so your feet trace ribbons in the sea.

Dance with star-licked arms light and free.

Dance so the wind hushes dreams with your steps.

Dance with poetry in your touch.

Dance as to not forget

The love of a child at night,

Smiling softly to a mother's song,

Smiling softly of a sweet day yet to come.

Little moon-white girl,

Dance to remember.

When Tifa had finished with her song, Adine gave a small sigh and stirred in her sleep, shifting on her side. Tifa pulled the blankets up to the child's chin, giving a quiet sigh herself. 

It was strange. In his twenty-odd years of life, Zack had endured much and seen even more, but this sight of one woman struggling tirelessly to soothe the child she loved…this was the sight that made him want to weep. 

Clearing his throat, he stepped into the room. Tifa looked up at his arrival with surprised but warm eyes, and hurriedly put a finger to her lips in a gesture to be silent. 

"She's sleeping," she whispered as he sank down beside her. "She woke a while ago, but just now fell asleep again." 

"While you were singing?" 

She blushed, just a bit. "You heard me?" 

"Yeah." He touched her cheek, a faint caress. Then he caught himself and reluctantly dropped his hand. "It was a beautiful song…did you make it up?"

"No." Absently she smoothed Adine's hair- her gaze had again fallen on the child's face. "My mother sang it to me…back when I was very young, before she got sick. I don't know why, but I never forgot the words." She closed her eyes, as if remembering. "They're all I have left of her."

She was so beautiful. Before he knew it, he'd leaned over and kissed her on the lips. She gasped at first, surprised, but then responded hesitantly, the way a wilting flower turns its face to the sun, relishing its warmth, starved for its touch. He ran his hands through her thick, dark hair, savoring the feel of his lips on hers, inwardly rejoicing despite the sudden tightness in his chest. 

But summoning the last shred of her resolve, Tifa put her hands on his chest and pushed him away. "Zack…I can't." 

"You can't?" His voice was pleading, ragged. "Why not?" 

Her voice choked, her eyes brimming with abject shame and hurt. "I can't…Not…the way things are right now. Not with Cloud…like this."

"Forget Cloud!" He shook her forcefully, desperately. "Just forget about him, Tifa! He doesn't deserve you!"

"Please," she begged, holding his hands in hers. "Please, Zack. I'm…I'm not ready. I need to sort out…a few things..." She brought one of his hands up, touching it softly with her lips. Her eyes met his plaintively. "Please?" she whispered. "Can you give me…just a little time?"

A warm wave of shame washed over him. He knew it was wrong, to kiss her. To tell her to forget Cloud. With Cloud in pain like that, he'd been worried too. How must _she _feel…she'd been in love with the guy for so long…

"Sure, Tifa," he said quietly. "Whatever you need. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

She gave his hand one last squeeze before letting it go. "I need to be alone…with her right now." Her guilty eyes fell on Adine again. He could almost see her retreating inward.

He stumbled to his feet. His smooth, reassuring front had dissolved, leaving him hollow and clumsy.

"Yeah…I'll be downstairs," he heard himself mumble. She nodded, not daring to meet his eyes. At the door he paused and looked back, swallowing hard to break the paralysis in his vocal cords. 

"Tifa…Don't think…don't ever think you have to go through it all alone..."

The last fragile hold she had on her emotions seemed to slip then, and she hid her face in her arms, weeping. If he didn't leave right now…she was terrified of what might overcome her, if she clung to him in her desperation…her fright. "Zack…I'm sorry but…Please. Just go…" 

He tore out of there, not daring to stay a second longer

******

In time, Tifa's tears slowed. Although the turmoil still lurked, she could shove up a flimsy front of confidence, of self-assurance. A light touch on her arm suddenly startled her. 

"Tifa?" Adine's voice was so frail, so weak. "Are you okay?" 

She wasn't okay. But she couldn't tell this child, couldn't put any weight on Adine's tiny, fragile shoulders. "I'm fine, sweetheart." She lifted her head and managed a reassuring smile. "How are you feeling?" 

Adine seemed to disregard the question. "Tifa," she said urgently, tugging on Tifa's hand. "I have to tell you something."

"Sure, go ahead," Tifa replied hurriedly, anxious to soothe the suddenly agitated child. 

"I-"

A furious cough suddenly seized Adine just as she'd opened her mouth. Tifa could do nothing as Adine hacked and choked on her own phlegm, her tiny frame wracked by the fit. When the horrible spasm finally subsided, little splatters of blood dotted both of the girl's palms. Blinking furiously to squelch back tears, Tifa wiped the blood drops away with a wet cloth, then tenderly kissed each tiny finger. 

"Tifa," Adine said when she could speak, "I wanted to tell you something important."

"What is it?" Tifa's voice rose worriedly as her hand gently caressed Adine's sweat-soaked brow. 

"I love you, Tifa."

Tifa felt her eyes blur again as she bit back a sob. "I love you too, Adine," she whispered. "I love you so much..."

Adine squeezed Tifa's hand once, and released her last breath in a sigh.

Tifa waited silently for Adine to begin breathing again, all the while holding her own breath. She waited even as the rising panic closed her throat, and the spasms wrenching her heart told her it was no use. Adine would never breathe again. Never smile again. Never grow up, or fall in love... 

A mere half dozen sobs shook Tifa's body, the pent up agony finally bubbling over as the minutes crept by and Adine's little hand still lay cooling in her own. But though she remained cuddled against the child for the better part of the evening, the wet tracks shined no longer. Her tears had simply run dry.

Some time later, she had closed Adine's eyes, and kissed Adine's now smooth brow one last time. She felt herself getting to her feet, casting one last broken glance at the child. This was…the second time she'd lost a loved one in this very room…

As she approached the door, she calmly tried to prepare herself for breaking the news to the others. How Cloud, Aeris, all of them might take it. How Zack might…try to comfort her…And the consequences of her grasping desperately for his warmth…she couldn't trust herself with Zack right now. She couldn't see him now. 

She had to leave this room. Leave the choking horror and agony. Physically, at least. But Zack might be on the other side of that door…

She made her way to the window with faltering steps, walking like a foggy sleepwalker. Her fingers trembled a bit as she undid the latch and slid it open. Why was she trembling? She'd seen death before…the death of her own mother…then her father…now Adine… 

The cold air hit her with a shock, numbing her senses, much like the way she felt inside. Frozen, empty. A lump rose in her throat, but it soon passed. Tears stung her eyes, but…was it only because of the icy wind? 

She swung her legs over the window, staring out at Nibelheim. The town was a joke. But she could pretend it wasn't, that it was her Nibelheim, the town she'd grown up in.

And there was the well…

Tifa suddenly stood up on the roof outside her window, arms out for balance. It was so stupid…somewhere in her numb mind, she was proud of herself, for being able to stand up on her roof, just like she could when she was ten. It was as though she was defying reality, proving she could go back to her innocent childhood…back to those days when her mother sang her to sleep and Cloud lived next door, watching her when he thought she wasn't looking. 

She dropped lightly to the ground, never taking her eyes off the well. Hey…was that Sufur up there? Why was he sitting in her and Cloud's special place? In the back of her hazy thoughts, an alarm bell started to sound. Something was horribly wrong. 

Sitting on the well, Sufur watched Tifa Lockheart warily. What was the matter with her? Why had she just climbed out of the window?

He suddenly felt a shadowy presence beside him, heard a breathy voice whisper in his ear. The pendant burned furiously at the words.

"The girl. Seize her!"

He started with surprise. "I thought you wanted the Ancient."

The voice grew harder, more commanding. "_I_ will take care of the Ancient. You get me this one. Bring her to the reactor."

He nodded. "Very well."

The presence left him, drifting away like smoke on the wind. He leaped down to the ground, landing some distance from Tifa. She seemed dazed, but the moment their gaze locked she immediately regained her composure. Her wine-red eyes glared at him defiantly. 

"What do you want?"

He spread his hands, smiling. "Come, Tifa, that's no way to speak to me." As he spoke, he moved steadily closer to her. "After all, you must keep your friends close."

They were about arm's length apart. She watched him appraisingly, unafraid. Suddenly a flicker of realization dawned on her face as she guessed his intent. Before she could open her mouth, he grabbed her roughly by the shoulder with one hand and pulled her close, holding her gaze the whole time. 

"And your enemies closer," he hissed, slamming her in the stomach with his other hand. 

The blow knocked the wind out of her and she collapsed over his arm. At that moment, the door to her house opened and Zack raced out.

"Tifa!" he shouted. His eyes went black with rage and terror at the sight of Tifa lying limp on Sufur's arm. If she was hurt…

Sufur could practically see the man make his desperate decision as his arm went up to free the Buster Sword-

Sufur yanked out his shotgun. Just as he pulled the trigger, Tifa fisted him in the face. Sufur fell and the shot was deterred a little. But Zack was hit. Blood blossomed in his shoulder and Zack cried out, clutching the wound in pain.

In a flash Sufur was up again. Tifa was ready for him, kicking him in the chin. As he went down Sufur swept a foot out, tripping Tifa's legs out from under her. 

Zack was making his way closer, despite the pain. Sufur aimed carefully and shot the former SOLDIER in the leg, shattering the kneecap. Zack's screams severed the silence of the night.

He couldn't stay here any longer. Sufur clubbed Tifa across the head with the shotgun, and she went limp. He swung her over one shoulder and took off, running with inhuman speed.

The others rushed outside to see Zack crumpled on the ground. Aeris was the first to reach him.

"Zack, what happened?" she asked gently, using both hands to try to stanch the blood flow of his shoulder wound. Her hands were soaked in red.

"Tifa…" he gasped, white-faced. "Sufur…the bastard…"

Cloud, immediately grasping the situation, knelt beside his friend. "Where did they go?" he said tersely. "Zack! Which direction?"

But Zack was already unconscious, pain still evident on his face. 

Reno made a gesture to the other Turks and they ran, the redhead shouting orders as they went.

"Split up! I'm going to find that son of a bitch if it's the last thing I do!"

****

~Author's Note~

Whew! Lotsa drama and emotion in this chapter…I actually like it best so far…so! Without further ado, here are my thanks!

Zelda6- Bud, you know you are my lifeline with this fic. Best beta-reader there ever was! *peace sign*

Aes Sedai (Ani K)- She wrote the song! Isn't she wonderful? *major hug* Thank you so much! I cannot write poetry/songs! You saved me…

Kally- She came back! Back! And is actually caught up w/ the rest of us! My best bud forever, Kally! (She just posted a new fic too! Check it out!)

Rachel- Again, that was such a sweet email! And you know what? It gave me back my inspiration! Actually, nearly ALL of this chap was written after reading that! Thanks hun!

And, of course, thanks to all you readers, who I'm doing this for. ;) (Wow, can't wait to see what the thanks notes will be like for the END of the fic…) But this was a special chap!

Luv ya all!

~Lila 


	22. Abandoned Hope

Chapter 21-

Abandoned Hope 

"The old are forgotten

The children are forsaken

In this world we live in

Is it right they savor it?"

~_Better Place_, Faith Hill

The sun was just coming up, sending its sparkling rays through the living room window to shine on the sleeping man's pale face. He groaned and sat up on the couch, wincing at the sharp, stabbing pain in his shoulder. He looked and saw that someone had removed his shirt to allow for a now blood-soaked bandage. How had that happened…?

It all came back in a rush. Sufur…Tifa… Zack put a hand over his face and garbled something, a cross between a curse and a groan. He'd been unable to help her. And just like that, she was gone…

"Hey."

Zack looked up to see Reno, leaning against the framepost of the entryway to the living room. "Reno!" A small bubble of hope struggled to the surface. "Did you find…anything?"

Reno shook his head, looking grim. "Not a damn thing. Rude and Elena are still out looking. Cloud took a party and went, too."

The bubble of hope evaporated. Zack sighed. "I don't think we're gonna find that bastard unless he wants to be found."

Reno gave a sigh of his own and came over to sit beside him on the couch. "Yeah." Suddenly looking frustrated, he slammed his fist into the palm of his other hand. "I can't believe it! He as good as showed us he was a traitor, and we still let him come along like the stupid imbeciles we are." He scowled. "We got too cocky."

Zack blanched. As good as showed them…? Reno was right. That time when Sufur had attacked Aeris, he should've known the bastard was up to no good. He should've eliminated the threat. But now it was too late. Tifa was gone. 

With new resolution, he leaned over and grabbed his shirt off the floor. Clenching his teeth against the pain in his shoulder, he carefully pulled it on. Reno said nothing, but when Zack started to stand up the Turk shoved him back down.

"The hell you doing!" Strange as it sounded, this was Reno's way of acting concerned. "You can't try to walk yet."

"Screw that." Zack shoved Reno's restraining hand aside. "I'm going after them myself."

"No, you're not," Reno scowled. "You're staying here, if I have to shoot you again myself."

"Hm, never knew you to be so protective, Reno," Zack said sarcastically. He found his shoes on the floor near the couch and began pulling them on. "Come on. What would you do if you were in my place?"

"Use common sense and know I'd be more hassle than help," Reno retorted. "And maybe drink a beer."

Zack's eyes narrowed. "And if it was Aeris?"

Reno looked uncomfortable. "Aw, come on…"

"I'm serious." Zack held his gaze. "If Sufur had taken Aeris, would you be lying here on this couch?"

Reno blew out of the side of his mouth, looking up at the ceiling. At last he ran a hand through his hair and said, rather gruffly, "Fine. But you'll need my help. You'll have a hell of a time walking on that busted knee."

Zack braced himself. "Okay. Just don't slow me down."

As if to remind him how stupid that sentence, that very sentiment was, the world exploded in a haze of pain as he tried to stand. Reno helped lower him back onto the couch. "Take it easy," the Turk cautioned him. "Wait for me to help you. You're depending on me, buddy, like it or not."

Zack groaned. "That's a definite 'not'."

"Thanks. Most people feel that way about me." Reno grabbed Zack's arm and looped it around his shoulders, peering into the other's face to make sure he hadn't passed out. "Okay, ready?"

Zack nodded, his face a mask of pain. "Let's just get this over with."

With Reno supporting most of his weight, he was somehow able to stand. Thankfully the redhead was a lot stronger than he looked. Zack wasn't sure how he managed those first few steps…he just kept thinking, _Hang in there…I'm coming for you, Tifa…_

By the time they'd reached the hall, Zack thought he'd collapse. "Let's rest a minute," he begged, clutching the wall. Reno gave him a cold stare.

"I told you this was stupid."

"Shut up!" Mr. Know-it-All _really _wasn't helping right now. "Damn…don't you have any materia?"

Reno gave him a mirthless smirk. "Tifa was the only one with any materia that'll help you. Ironic, huh?"

Zack didn't laugh. "What about Yuffie?" Maybe he was a little delirious, but one thought stuck in his mind: _Yuffie's got every materia in the rainbow. _

Reno shrugged. "She got rid of hers a while back. Y'know, now that I think about it, she hasn't mentioned materia since then. She doesn't seem to care as much about it, now." He looked at Zack. "Well? Shall we get this pitiful show on the road?"

Zack wanted to punch him, but in his state it might not be a good idea. "Yeah."

As they made their way through the kitchen, Reno made a slashing motion with his hand in a gesture to be silent. Aeris sat at the kitchen table, seemingly staring at nothing. On closer inspection, however, it became apparent she was praying.

"She'll never let you go after them," Reno breathed in a barely audible whisper. "And she'll kill me for helping you. So we're not going to make a sound until we're out of the house."

Zack knew this already, of course, having known Aeris for many years. But it felt…strange to hear Reno say it. Obviously Reno had gotten to know Aeris quite well –he'd had the pleasure of watching them bond up close. An unexpected thought occurred to him: Was it sort of like…the way he'd cozied up to Tifa right under Cloud's nose? But it wasn't the same, was it? And he couldn't _help _the way he felt –how his heart just completely filled with her. It had just hit him one day. Heck, it had probably felt like the world's worst hangover for Reno, too, the day he realized he'd fallen for Aeris, right? On that note…maybe Reno hadn't even realized how painfully obvious his feelings for Aeris were…or maybe the Turk had yet to realize them himself.

Zack was musing over this when he abruptly grinned. He didn't think of Reno as a girl-thieving asshole anymore. More like…just an asshole. A plain, ordinary asshole. 

"What are you smirking at?" Reno growled as they left the kitchen undetected.

"I'm just smiling because you're such a nice guy to be helping me, Reno," Zack replied innocently. Even he was surprised at how sincere he sounded.

"Shut up and save your breath." Still, Reno sounded pleased. Probably was the first time anyone had said something that nice to him, sarcastic or not.

At last they reached the door leading outside. Zack leaned weakly against the wall as Reno creaked open the door, trying to be quiet.

"Reno?" It was Aeris, calling from the kitchen. "You leaving?"

The Turk froze with the door halfway open. "Uh…yeah!" he called back. "Just…going to catch up with the others."

"Good luck."

Reno wiped sweat off his brow and continued trying to open the door when she spoke again. 

"How's Zack?"

"Zack?" Reno stared at the former SOLDIER while the latter swore under his breath. "He's…he's doing fine. Still asleep, though," he added frantically. "Don't disturb him."

"Really?" Aeris sounded doubtful. "Okay. Maybe I'll bring him some hot tea later."

"Yeah. You do that. Later." Reno swung the door open, nearly hitting Zack in the face. "C'mon, let's hurry," he whispered, flinging Zack's arm around his shoulders again. To Aeris he said, "Well, I'm leaving now! Bye!"

Aeris bid him a farewell, then Reno practically dragged the wounded man outside, slamming the door shut behind them. As they stumbled down the walk Zack noted with amusement that Reno looked to be in more pain than he was himself.

"Can't lie very well, huh?"

Reno shook his head. "No, I lie very well." He ignored the snort of derision from the other. "It's just Aeris. No matter how good you are-"

"-she just seems to know," Zack finished for him. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

"You would, wouldn't you?" Reno gave him an odd glance. "Listen, I don't mean to pry, but…you…her…"

"Don't worry about it. Aeris and I are just friends now," Zack said, glad that it was true.

"Oh. Good." Reno's relief was so obvious it was funny. "Not that it's any big deal or anything, I was just curious-"

Zack gave a knowing nod and bit back a grin, out of respect for Reno's masculine pride. "Yeah, I gotcha, man." 

They rounded the well and were about to continue on their way when a figure suddenly leaped in front of them. "Well, well. What have we here?"

"Yuffie!" Reno groaned. As if things weren't bad enough… "Go torment someone else, kid. We're busy."

"There is no one else," she pouted. "Cloud took Barret and Red with him, and Cid was sitting in the bar. Practically speared me when I asked if I could try a drink."

Zack shuddered. Yuffie and alcohol would be a scary mixture.

"What about Vincent?" Reno sighed impatiently. "Go bother him."

Yuffie actually seemed a little frightened by the thought. "No," she said quickly. "Vinnie's not someone you want to annoy."

That was true. Reno shifted under Zack's weight. "Whatever. Look, we have to get going."

Yuffie suddenly looked suspicious. "Hey, Zack. Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"No, I'm fine," Zack grated. "Fit as a fiddle." The truth was, he thought he'd fall over.

"I don't believe you!" Yuffie proclaimed. "Does Aeris know you're out here?"

"Of course she does!" Reno snapped. "Now get lost!"

Yuffie shrugged. "Fine. I'll just go tell Aeris that you and Zack are being mean to me."

"Wait!" Reno scowled. "Yuffie, look. He's not supposed to be out here. Don't tell Aeris, she'll worry."

Yuffie grinned, scuffing a toe in the dirt. "Well, for the right price, it might slip my mind…"

"No! No bribes!"

"Oh, just give her some gil." Zack wanted to get going. "We need to hurry."

Reno swore, digging in his pocket. "How's ten?" he asked, fishing the money out.

Yuffie rolled her eyes. "You kidding?" 

"Fifty, then!"

Yuffie folded her arms. "Give me a hundred, and I'll distract Aeris, too."

"What!"

She held out a hand. "C'mon. You don't want her peeking in on Zack, do ya?"

Reno growled and finally shoved the money in her hand. "Hurry up."

She smiled and skipped off, waving merrily over her shoulder. "Thanks!"

Reno shook his head and they resumed the slow trek across town. At Zack's direction, the two of them headed north, toward the valley in between the Nibel mountains.

"Why?" Reno wanted to know.

Zack shrugged, as well as he could, with his wounded shoulder. "Think about it. If Sufur wanted to run, where would he go? Not back to civilization, as a fugitive. And definitely not with a captured member of AVALANCHE on his hands. He didn't take Tifa just so he could spend his time running from us. He's waiting for something." He paused. "Maybe waiting for us to make the next move."

Reno nodded in understanding. "So he's hiding out from us until we make our move."

"Exactly."

Reno's eyes were cold. "And the best way to hide is to stick close to your enemy. That way you can track_ their _moves." 

"So he can't be far."

"Right."

Despite all of their strategic talk, Zack had the feeling neither of them had the slightest clue as to what Sufur thought he was doing. It just didn't make sense. The guy was outnumbered and on the run. He and Reno had to be missing something, something important. 

The pain wasn't as bad now. Zack's world had diminished to simply trudging onward, one limping step at a time. He knew he had to be weighing Reno down, but the latter made no complaint. Zack wasn't sure, exactly, how he could hope to help Tifa in his condition. All he knew was he had to try. He kept thinking back to that night…how lost and broken she had looked. The quiet sob in her voice as she sang to Adine. The scalding heat and tremble of her lips…

The same tightness in his chest…he'd blame that on his leg this time. It wasn't until Reno spoke that he realized he'd grounded to a stop.

"Zack…" Reno paused and looked at him, as though he wanted to say something more. They were some distance from Nibelheim, and somewhere in the back of his mind, Zack was surprised at how far they'd traveled. He hadn't been aware of making any progress at all. But now that he'd stopped moving, his leg was beginning to throb.

Reno seemed to understand. "C'mon, let's take a break over here." He helped Zack over to a decrepit little tree off the side of the beaten path. Several autumn leaves littered the ground, creating a thick blanket of faded colors and dormant life. Broken dreams…false hope. Reno kicked some aside before lowering Zack against the trunk of the tree. 

"Well?" Zack stretched out his leg, wincing at the pain. Dried blood crusted around the bandage, tinting it a dull red. "Whaddya have to say?"

Reno picked up a yellow-orange leaf and picked at it, pulling the little thing apart. "What happened between you and Tifa?" he asked suddenly, not looking at Zack. "Before Adine died."

Zack felt his anger – and shame – flare. "I don't see how that's any of your business." 

Reno threw the skeleton of the leaf aside. "It is my business. It's everyone's business." He gave Zack a cold stare. "You think we don't see what's going on between you and her? And Cloud? You think he doesn't see?"

Zack didn't reply. 

"Okay, it is your personal concern," Reno admitted. "But you have to understand that what happens between two people in a group affects the whole. If it involves Cloud especially. He's our leader. If he's distracted, it's gonna cost us. We have a right to know what's going on." 

Zack was silent for so long that Reno looked over to see if he'd heard. And what he saw shocked him. Zack was shaking with suppressed emotion –his fists were clenched so tightly the knuckles were dead white, matching the pallor of his face. He was on the verge of exploding with rage or breaking down in tears. 

But to Reno's surprise, Zack did neither. After a long moment, in a low tense voice, he told Reno everything. Told him how he'd fallen for a beauty with leaden feet and a broken heart. Told him about her dashed hopes, her shattering grief. The song from her childhood. How worn out she'd seemed, at wit's end with nowhere to run. And how she'd clung to him, desperately, when he'd kissed her…then pushed him away, begging for more time. How he'd told her she didn't have to handle everything alone. 

"I should've been with her…that night…when Adine died. I should have been there for her." Zack's voice became hollow, strangled. In that moment, Reno saw his soul break. 

When Zack's clenched-shut eyes reopened, they seemed to be gazing at something beyond Reno. The glow in them had softened, diffused, and Reno had a sudden vision of a woman singing her song…A cherished image caressed by warm eyes.

But then Zack blinked, and the image shattered. Reno studied his feet. The other man hung his head, visibly wracked by emotion.

The oppressive silence bothered Reno. "Look, you can't blame yourself, man. She asked you to leave, right?"

"But maybe…if I hadn't kissed her…" Zack looked up at Reno, a rare show of anguish and confusion clouding his eyes. 

Reno tried to tell Zack that Tifa would've kicked him out anyway, but the words refused to come out. He knew Tifa too well –he could imagine her panic when Zack had kissed her.

"Dammit, kicking yourself isn't gonna help her! You sound as stupid as Cloud right now!" Reno's frayed nerves finally snapped. And Zack's whirlwind thoughts screeched to a stop.

What had Reno just said to him?

It took a few minutes for realization to dawn, but sure enough, he was doing what he'd always told Cloud not to do. He had to snap out of it, if he wanted to help Tifa. And God, did he ever want to. But first, he'd have to thank Reno….by choking the living daylights out of him…later. 

"Geez, Reno, I never figured ya for the sensitive type." Zack pushed the words past the vicious lump in his throat.

"So you're ready to quit being stupid," Reno snorted.

"Yup. I'm gonna get her back from Sufur." Zack bared his teeth. "That bastard took advantage of how broken up she was about Adine."

Something about the muted anger in Zack's voice…it startled Reno. Hell, everything about the sheer ferocity of the man's feelings took him aback. He knew Zack was attracted to Tifa, but he didn't know of this desperate, anguished love for her, or the turbulent rage he possessed. And the lurking, imminent grief…it was as though he'd already begun mourning for her. What sort of a life had he led, to respond to losing her this way? But maybe it had nothing to do with Hojo. Maybe he was just a hot-headed fool, who fell hard and fast and took everything to heart. Wouldn't let go of love though it burned him up inside.

Maybe Zack and Tifa had something in common after all. It took Tifa years to give up on Strife, and Zack would limp to hell and back, scrabbling for any trace of the woman he loved.

What could he say to a man who'd lost something so precious? False hope wouldn't comfort Zack and blame was the last thing he needed. Reno had never known a man who'd lost everything, yet was willing to fight with all he had to get it back. Reno himself hadn't had the luxury of fighting when his world had fallen apart. Unless revenge counted as "fighting". 

"At least we know she's alive," he said at last. "Sufur has no reason to kill her, he could've done so that night. Hell, he's had plenty of perfect opportunities to kill us all. He wants her alive."

Zack nodded, a bit of relief flickering in his eyes. "Yeah." Then he looked up. "And, Reno…about Cloud…"

"He won't hear a word from me."

"Okay," he murmured. Cloud didn't need to know about this, not yet. Shaking off the nagging fear and doubt, he grabbed the trunk of the tree to help himself stand. "Let's get go-"

His hand encountered something soft and somehow familiar-feeling. Zack looked at the object attached to the tree, wondering if his mind was playing tricks on him. His shaking hand reached out and touched the worn object tenderly, as if Tifa's hand was still enclosed in the leather glove.

"It's hers," he whispered, pulling it from the tree. As he did so, the knife pinning it to the trunk fell to the ground, a glitter of silver among the leaves. Reno bent and picked it up.

"Did Sufur have a knife?" he asked, inspecting it closely.

Zack swallowed. "Yes. He kept it in his boot." His hand curled around the glove, making the soft leather creak.

Reno's eyes met his. "It's a message," he whispered. "A dare."

Zack nodded, unable to speak. Reno was right. Sufur was daring them to come after him. Daring them to find him before he decided Tifa wasn't useful anymore. 

"We've got to find her." Zack's voice did not sound like his own. "Right away." 

******When Reno and Zack stumbled back to Nibelheim, they were relieved to find that Cloud's party hadn't returned yet. Zack was exhausted by this time, his face strained and pale. Reno himself thought he'd fall over; he had just enough strength left to drag Zack back to the couch in Tifa's house. Yuffie, chatting at the table with Aeris (who had her back to them) gave him a thumbs-up as they passed. Reno could only manage a weak nod in return. Finally managing to dump Zack on the couch, Reno all but fell over on the floor, drained.

"We're going after them," Zack said with finality. Reno wondered how the hell the guy could work up the strength to talk. It wasn't normal for someone's skin to look all pasty like that, but he still seemed deadset on finding Tifa.

"We are," he replied, "after Cloud gets back. We can't just leave without him." He somehow got to his feet. "You get some rest. I'll go tell Aeris what you found."

"I wasn't there, remember?"

Reno rolled his eyes and staggered to the door. "Fine. What 'I' found."

As he stumbled into the kitchen, Yuffie flashed him a grin and jumped to her feet. "Well, I'd better be going!" As she shoved by him, she whispered, "I'm charging you another fifty gil."

"Why you-!" Reno made a lunge for her, but she was too fast and ran out the door, probably to torture someone else. He let out a curse and collapsed at the table. "Damn kid."

Aeris sipped her tea, looking at him with her elegant eyebrows raised. "You look like you've just got through running a marathon."

Shit. "I, uh, ran all the way back here," he said quickly, then flashed a dazzling smile. "Just couldn't wait to see you again."

"I bet." She shoved the teacup inside, folding her hands in front of her. "So? Did you and Zack find anything?"

The dazzling smile crashed to the floor. "How…how did you…?" Reno sputtered. Then it came to him. "Yuffie!" He jumped up, nearly knocking over his chair. "I'm gonna make her wish she'd never been born!"

"Sit down, Reno," Aeris said firmly. Maybe he was imagining things, but he thought she was smirking slightly. "Yuffie didn't tell me. I knew all along."

Reno sat abruptly. "You knew?" he asked, feeling stupid.

Aeris laughed, a delicate, melodic sound. "Of course I knew. I can always tell when you're lying." 

Maybe his skills needed work. Reno cleared his throat, thinking an apology would clear his name. "I'm sorry I lied to you," he said sincerely, then added, "It was Zack's idea."

"That's a lie. It was your idea and you know it."

Reno rubbed the back of his neck. "Damn, you're good."

Aeris got up and moved around the table to stand near him. "I didn't say anything because I was concerned for Zack, after last night," she said softly, and from her tone it was clear she wasn't talking about his injuries. "I trusted you to take care of him."

It had been against his better judgment to bring Zack along in the first place. Of course, if he hadn't, they might have never found that glove. He suddenly wondered if Aeris' staying silent had been due to her Cetra-instinct, always making her do the right things at the right times. She'd mentioned it once, and it had creeped him out then like it creeped him out now. Still, it had been handy this time. 

"…We found something, out there." He didn't look at her. "Sufur left us a little message." He stood up and handed her the knife. "It was pinning one of Tifa's gloves to a tree."

Aeris leaned against the table, turning the knife over in her hands. After a moment, she looked up at Reno with fear in her eyes. "What does he want?" she asked, almost pleadingly, as though hoping he could provide a logical explanation that would end this nightmare. "Why is he doing this?"

Reno took the knife back, feeling a sudden flame of longing rise up within him as his fingers brushed hers. He put the feeling aside. "I don't know." He felt so helpless. They were losing the game piece by piece, and he was a pawn, unable to even see what was going on around him, let alone make a winning move. "I don't know," he repeated. His own voice sounded lost and defeated, convinced it couldn't win.

Aeris' tearful gaze caught his and held. "It's really hard to keep hoping, in times like these," she whispered tremulously. 

"I know." He swallowed, trying to dislodge the lump in his throat. "But we have to. Without hope, what do we have left?" The words sounded good.

She blinked back tears and smiled a little. "That's so unlike you."

It was. Personally, he would have been about ready to give up hope himself, if it wasn't for Aeris. For her, he would pretend to keep hoping. Just to see her smile again. 

The door suddenly burst open, admitting the weary party of Cloud, Barret, and Nanaki. Cid, Rude and Elena trooped in behind them, Elena mumbling something about being dragged around in sub-zero weather. She quieted when Rude shushed her.

"Nothing." Cloud sank down at the table, massaging his temples. "We didn't find a thing."

He looked lost and broken, sitting at the table like that. His furious drive to succeed had suddenly vanished. He seemed like he merely wanted to bury his head in his arms and sob. It was strange, the way Cloud hadn't been able to put up a show of strength since Sufur took Tifa.

Reno came around him and slammed the knife into the table. The blade bit two inches into the wood, standing straight up. "We did."

Cloud jumped up and grabbed the knife. "What is it?" he demanded, even though it was perfectly obvious.

Elena leaned across the table for a better look. "A knife." She looked at Reno questioningly. "What's the meaning of this?" 

"A little farewell gift from Sufur." 

Heads turned. The speaker was Zack, leaning heavily against the wall for support. Cloud stepped over and half-dragged, half-carried him to the table, where Zack sank awkwardly into a chair, muttering a weak, "thanks".

"He just doesn't want to stay in bed," Reno observed. Zack fixed him with a stony glare, then extracted the leather glove from his pocket and placed it on the table. 

"Through the overpass in Nibel Mountains," he said quietly. "That's where he took her."

Cloud seemed to regain some of his fire at the new information. He slammed a hand on the table. "I'll kill him myself."

Zack smiled cynically. "You'll have to wait in line."

Reno was struck by how alike they seemed in that moment. Not only in appearance, but also in character. They both had that determination, that drive to triumph against all odds. That same thirst for revenge. The same fierce longing for Tifa.

Reno shook his head. They were in a serious bind. Whether Cloud knew of Zack's feelings for Tifa or not, the issue would have to wait. But as similar as they had seemed a moment ago, they were opposites when it came to Tifa. Cloud depended on her, whereas Zack wanted her to lean on him. 

For the first time, Reno felt just a bit guilty about his own feelings for Aeris. She'd been the one Zack loved, for all that time. It wasn't Zack's fault he'd been Hojo's puppet for all those years…yet, when he'd returned, Aeris had drifted away from him. But it couldn't be helped. 

Although Cloud hadn't announced it, it was obvious they were about to pick up and go. With that in mind, Cid went to the base of the stairs outside of the kitchen. "Shera!" he yelled. "You still up there?" 

A faint but affirmative response was heard.

"Then get your ass down here!" Cid ordered. "We're leaving!"

She appeared at the head of the stairs, looking tired and wan. "There's one thing we have to do before that."

Cid, who immediately understood, looked to Cloud for permission. Their spiky-haired leader nodded.

"Okay." He reached out and touched the glove absently, as though speaking to its owner." Before we leave, we'll bury Adine." 

Cloud's hand lingered o the worn leather, and Zack fought the urge to snatch the glove back. It was stupid, but Zack couldn't help it. It was all he had left of her. 

Zack waited until Cloud had clasped his hands together and returned to studying the kitchen table before reaching out to retrieve the glove, tucking it back in his pocket with a quiet, tender possessiveness. When Cloud's eyes suddenly pinned him, he met his gaze, squared his injured shoulder the best he could. Reno sighed heavily. For better or for worse, it seemed Cloud already knew.

******

The child was laid to rest at the foot of the Nibelheim well. Everyone helped with the grave. Zack helped too, as well as he could. Adine now lay under a thick layer of gravel and dirt, with a small makeshift marker decorated by a wreath of flowers Aeris had made. 

They all were circled around it, silent. Aeris was weeping silently. Cloud, nearest to the grave, seemed at a loss for words. 

"It doesn't seem enough, somehow," he said finally. "But it's all we can do for her."

Aeris whispered a soft prayer under her breath. Shera hid her face under Cid's arm. Nanaki hung his noble head. None of them had anything left to offer the child only Tifa had known very well. 

At last, Zack limped forward with the aid of a wooden branch he used as a crutch. He bent a little and set Tifa's leather glove next to the wreath of flowers. She would've wanted to be here, to say goodbye one last time. His eyes blurred, at the thought of the love she'd bled for this little girl. The comforts she'd whispered. The song she'd sung…

__

Tifa... this is as close as I can bring you to her... I'm sorry... I wish you could be here right now... 

I know Adine's... gone now... but... she knew how much you loved her.

You're hurting so much right now... but...I'll find you...It'll be ok, you'll see... love won't always hurt like this... 

I'm going to say goodbye to her for you. Don't mind me butchering your song, ok? 

Then, so softly the others could scarcely hear, he sang a verse of Tifa's song. 

__

Dance as to not forget

The love of a child at night,

Smiling softly to a mother's song,

Smiling softly of a sweet day yet to come.

When Zack's clear tenor had faded, he stepped back and took his place among the others. Silence reigned once again, but it was a different kind of silence, peaceful, the kind that occurs after a good long cry. The tears are fresh on your cheeks, but they dry. The pain is still there, inside, but it's no longer as unbearable. You feel you can go on. The silence literally helps you to gather your resolve. 

Cloud was the first to turn away. "Let's go," he said quietly, bending to pick up his load of equipment. The others followed suit, slowly walking away. As he passed, Reno put a hand on Aeris' shoulder, a fleeting, comforting touch. She wiped away her tears and followed, leaving the grave behind.

Zack started to leave too, but suddenly looked back. 

"Goodbye, Adine. You'll always be here." He swallowed hard. "Watch out for Tifa, okay? She doesn't always think…" He shook his head, a little ruefully. "You take care of her, and I'll bring her back to see you. Deal?" 

"Zack!" Reno called from up ahead. "You need help or something?"

"I'm all right," he yelled back. With a last look at the forlorn little marker, he turned and made his way over to where the others were waiting. 

****

~Author's Note~

Woo! Took a while! I sorrie, I hate editing. 

**Reno and Zack being friends? Well, I like them both…so I threw that in. ^^ Who dares question my whims! *pause* Whimes? S/p? **

Anyways…oh, and Zack's "clear tenor"? Don't look at me like that, I think Zack seems very much a tenor…although Zelda argues that he's a bass. What do YOU think? (it's a vain attempt to get people to review. LOL!)

Byeeeee! 

~Lila


	23. Fifteen

Chapter 22-

Fifteen

"I am shell-shocked and I have walked

Through the trenches full of tears

With the motors of memory

Exploding in my burning ears."

~Coming Home, Caedmon's Call

Tifa opened her eyes. It was dawn. Sunlight shined down on her, blinding her. She tried to put a weak hand to shield her eyes from the brightness, but discovered she couldn't. Her wrists were bound behind her.

She rolled over and gasped as sharp rocks dug into her bare shoulder. She was lying on pale grayish-white gravel. Ahead of her, some near and some far, loomed the jagged, threatening peaks of the Nibel Mountains. She had to be somewhere within the mountains, not that that gave her any clue as to where she was. The Nibel Mountains stretched for hundreds of miles in any direction. 

Sufur had to have brought her here. Tifa grit her teeth and inwardly cursed as fluently as Cid. She would kill him. Right now.

But then her thoughts strayed to Adine, and her vigor suddenly evaporated. What was the use of fighting? She'd fought so hard to save Adine, and the child had died just the same.

No. She wouldn't think like that. That was how she'd slipped into Sufur's grasp in the first place! Adine's death had left her so devastated –she was ashamed to admit she'd pretty much lost it, that night. No wonder Sufur had been able to overpower her so easily, and hurt Zack…

Zack! Sufur had shot Zack! How badly had he been hurt? Tears stung her eyes, and her heart wrenched as she tried to sift through recollections of that night. Could she have gotten it wrong? Her consciousness had already been blunted by Sufur's blows at the time. But she'd heard the gunshots clearly, she'd seen Zack fall to the ground…

He had to be okay. He had to. He'd had the SOLDIER training, and Aeris and the others were near at hand. Although…did Aeris have much materia to work with? Suddenly, she couldn't think at all, only found her mind going around in circles. From Adine to Sufur to Zack.

She bit her lip, hoping physical pain would return her to the present and drive away the waves of rising panic. The thought of anything happening to Zack left her mouth so parched, her eyes so blurred that she had to banish it from her mind. She couldn't think of that right now –she had to get out of Sufur's clutches first. She braced herself and somehow got to her feet without the aid of her hands.

Sufur, sitting languidly on a nearby rock, laughed. "'Morning, Sunshine."

She glared at him with unspeakable rage, then said, calmly and coldly, "Where are we?" 

"What? You don't recognize the mountains you knew as a girl?" He slid off the rock and came to stand beside her, keeping his shotgun at his side. "I'm quite surprised."

"_Where _in the mountains?" she demanded. 

He shrugged. "No idea. You know this place, not me."

She looked around, then glared at him again. "Sufur, we aren't even on a trail," she said impatiently. "Do you mean to say you got us lost?" 

He flicked a hand through his hair. "Tifa, our location is not the important thing. The important thing is that those fools are following us."

Suddenly she gave him an odd look, trying to puzzle this out. She had caught it again, that fleeting impression that she knew him, somehow, or had seen him before. "Who are you?" she questioned, looking at him quizzically.

"That's not important either." He folded his arms. "Are you ready to go?"

"Go? Why should I go anywhere with you?" She still didn't know his purpose.

He sighed, unfolding his arms. "Your friends are after us. We have to keep moving."

"And if I resist?"

He stepped closer to her, tilted her chin up to get a closer look at her face. His fingers were rough and strong, but she didn't blink, simply stared back at him with hatred. He leaned closer, and the melding features on his face shifted for a moment, and she thought she could almost discern-

Suddenly, he lashed out and clouted her across the face, hurling her back down to the ground. She licked her lips and tasted blood.

"Tifa, let's try to be reasonable." His voice was calm, almost gentle. "As you have already observed, I hold no foolish reservations about hurting women. One way or another, you'll do as I say."

She was on her knees, staring down at the earth. Her bound hands clenched into fists as frustrated tears sprang to her eyes. She hated him, hated him for making her feel powerless and weak. It was just like with Adine dying, the same message: _You can't fight. You can't win. _It made her want to hit something and cry at the same time. When she'd had this feeling over Adine, Zack had comforted her, kept her from succumbing to rage and despair. Now that she was all alone, she could see how much she missed that. Already she was consumed with fury. 

"You're a cowardly bastard." She spoke to the ground, not looking up at Sufur. "Slapping around a bound, armless woman half your size. You won't win any prizes for bravery."

"I don't care about the methods," she heard him say calmly. "Just results." Abruptly he reached down and grabbed her by the hair, pulling her to her feet again. He yanked her against him, holding her to his chest with his free arm while the other pressed the cold barrel of the shotgun to the back of her head.

Somehow it was worse than if he'd pulled the gun in front of her. There she could see the weapon, stare Death in the face. This way…it was harder. She had no way of knowing whether he would pull the trigger or not.

Sufur seemed to know this. He smiled down at her, fingering the trigger. "You do realize your friends have only 'hope' to go on. They're trusting that I'm keeping you alive. If I wanted to, I could kill you right now, and they'd be none the wiser." He caressed the trigger of the shotgun, making sure she heard the tiny clicking sounds. "I'm only keeping you alive because you may yet be useful to me."

Trembling with rage and fear, she stared up at him defiantly. "'Useful'?" she repeated. "Useful…in what way?"

"To torment them. And you."

For one brief moment, she considered challenging him. Who cared whether he pulled the trigger or not? She was helpless anyway. Better to die fighting than to be held hostage. 

Then she thought of Zack, of his kind words and gentle smile. He wouldn't want her to die, fighting or not. And…she desperately wanted to see him again. 

"Why?" she whispered. She needed to know. "Why are you doing this?"

He smiled again and released her, allowing her to step away from him. "Personal gain, for the most part," he said matter-of-factly. "Although revenge is a big factor, too."

Revenge… She scowled. "Who are you?" she demanded for the second time.

"Your enemy." He smirked. "That's all you need to know."

She'd known that from the beginning. Tifa sighed impatiently. "Where are we going?"

"I am under no obligation to answer any of your questions," he said coolly. He shouldered his shotgun. "Let's go. I want to head north." 

Tifa clenched her teeth. "What's to stop me from escaping?"

He smiled. "Just my gun. As I think I've mentioned, I don't care whether you're alive or dead. Your friends do."

"You can't watch me every minute. You'll have to sleep eventually."

"Yes," he said, staring up at the sky. "But I've thought of that, too." He said nothing more about it, merely made a sweeping gesture with his arm. "Get going." He jerked his head to an outcropping of rock that loomed over them. "Up that way. I'll come behind you." 

Tifa gave him a sarcastically sweet smile. "And how am I to climb without my arms free?"

He sighed and stepped behind her, pulling something- she thought it was a knife or a razor blade, she wasn't sure- from his jacket. After a moment, the ropes fell away. Tifa brought her arms forward and flexed them, trying to get the pins-and-needles sensation to stop. As she did so, she noticed one of her gloves was missing. 

She turned to Sufur accusingly. "Did you take it?"

He only flicked back his hair again, as though brushing off her glare. "I think you'd better start climbing."

******

Walking alone, Yuffie's step was a lot heavier than it often was. Normally she'd be running around, bothering the others and cracking jokes, but the death of Adine had shaken her a good deal. She was afraid. 

Adine, perhaps the weakest and most vulnerable of them all, was dead. Tifa was gone. Zack was gravely injured, Cloud was here, and yet he was gone…

They were falling apart. She reached into her shorts pocket and came up with the hundred gil she had gotten out of Reno. But even the pleasant clink of the money wasn't enough to make her feel better now. Conning money out of Reno had made her feel better for a short time, but the feeling hadn't lasted. Like materia, money suddenly seemed so material, so pointless. No matter how she wished it, materia wouldn't bring back her father, and neither would any amount of money. 

"Yuffie."

She looked up to see Vincent walking beside her. "Oh, hi Vinnie," she said, trying hard to look cheerful.

He didn't buy it, apparently. "You look unhappy," he observed. 

She lowered her gaze. _Please, please don't make me start blubbering like a baby, _she silently begged Da-Chao. She did not want to cry in front of anybody, least of all Vincent Valentine.

"Anything I can do?" he offered suddenly. This one kind gesture, so un-Vincent-like, threatened to make her lose control, but she kept a stoic expression and looked away. 

"No," she said quietly. "Unless you can change the past."

Reverting back to his usual silence, Vincent didn't answer. Since he was quiet, Yuffie darted a glance at him. The sunlight played upon his raven-dark hair, accentuating his delicate features. Walking beside her, looking so thoughtful and pensive, Yuffie suddenly thought him quite attractive. It wasn't the first time she's thought such things about him, but this was _Vincent_, of all people! No good to be developing a crush on him, especially not in a time like this. 

He seemed to feel her eyes on him and turned to her. "Reno was complaining earlier that you 'gypped him'," he said conversationally. "Is this true?"

Yuffie couldn't help it- she burst out laughing. "It was a bargain, fair and square!" she insisted, holding up the money in her hand.

They continued talking, and before long, Yuffie's step was as light as it had ever been.

******The sun was high in the sky, but Tifa was cold. The chill air of the Nibel Mountains seemed to seep into her flesh, sucking all warmth from her body. She had forgotten how cold these mountains were, how threatening and dangerous the elements alone were. She shivered a little, and suddenly wished Zack could be there to wrap his warm arms around her…

It startled her. She'd just thought of Zack in a way that went beyond friendship. But that wasn't why she was trembling. No, she'd found him sneaking into that special place reserved for Cloud once before. But this time, he just seemed to _belong _there, in her heart. And her need for him was so fiery, so intense that she couldn't push him back out…

Was she a fool to let him stay? Was she starting to hope that he would stay, and maybe, replace that 'Cloud' scrawled on the door? Worn letters, scrawled in the hand of a tongue-tied, candy-hearted Nibelheim girl? 

Sufur, walking beside her, looked at her strangely. "What is it?" he demanded, slowing.

She shook her head. "Nothing." But it really wasn't "nothing". Her feelings were confusing, agonizing. She just wanted to see the others again. Maybe, if she saw Cloud again, her long-time love for him would snuff out any flames of longing for Zack. But an insistent little voice inside her kept asking…did she really want that to happen? Didn't she want to be happy herself? All this time, she'd been putting Cloud's happiness first, and it had brought her nothing but pain. It hadn't made him very happy either—he'd been so moody lately...

But didn't that prove how much he needed her? A sudden flood of guilt hushed that small murmuring voice. Cloud depended on her, how could she even think of abandoning him now-

"We'll stop here." Sufur indicated the dark maw of a small cave. "Just for now."

Tifa obediently stopped, not knowing or caring why he wanted to. She was inwardly debating whether or not to make a run for it. If he shot her, it might even be easier to handle everything.

She shook her head, pulling herself together. _Wait for the right time, _something told her. _Then hit him with everything you've got._

Sufur unshouldered a pack he'd been carrying with him and pulled it open. Inside was a small array of food rations, apparently stolen from the group's supply. Tifa stood, eyeing the bag with her hands on her hips. 

She looked up at him disdainfully. "I'm guessing we'll be traveling for a while?"

He smiled unpleasantly and dug an apple out of the bag, shining it on his trouser leg. "You're lucky I'm letting you eat at all."

Tifa rummaged through the pack and came out with a tin of dried fruit. "Well," she said in a conversational tone, "why don't you tell me how long you're planning on making this little trip? Since we get to spend some quality time together."

Sufur didn't comment on her evident sarcasm. "A few days. I'm not really sure." He took a bite of the apple, crunching loudly.

"'Not really sure'?" Tifa repeated. "We're in the mountains. There's only so many places you can go from here…" She paused, thinking, then said, "We're not going to Rocket Town, are we?"

Sufur grinned. "Good guess. Nope."

"Cosmo Canyon?"

"That tree-hugging tub of earth lovers? No thanks," Sufur said with a scoff. He flicked his hair from his eyes, enjoying this little guessing game. 

Tifa lost her temper. She was cold and she was tired and she was mad. "Then why are we trudging around in the mountains?" she demanded. "You don't have the slightest clue where we're going, do you! The only thing worth going to around here is the reac-" She stopped, aghast at her own words.

Sufur tossed the apple core away. "Smart girl."

"The reactor? Why?" she asked. She had only been inside the Nibel Reactor once, but she knew what went on inside. And what dark secrets the place held.

Not to mention the evil memories.

The reactor was where Sephiroth had finally gone insane before butchering the town of Nibelheim. It was also where her own father had been murdered by the silver-haired warrior. And where Tifa herself had almost been killed.

She still remembered the way her father had looked when he'd died…lying facedown in a widening pool of blood. A sword lay beside him. She'd run to him, screaming, to turn him over…

__

A mask of blood and foam met her eyes. Tifa cried out at the sight and tried to draw back, but her father grasped feebly at her arms, pulling her back toward him. His breathing was irregular and bubbling under the layer of blood. His eyes, the only recognizable part of his face, his brown eyes were wild with agitation. Somehow, he managed to speak. 

"Ti…Tifa…" he choked out, a rush of breath escaping his lips. He gagged on his own blood, tried spastically to breathe for a few moments. He flopped back on the floor, uttering his last words. "Kill…him…"

As he stilled, Tifa couldn't seem to comprehend what had happened to him. How had Papa gotten like this, covered with blood and foam? How had he died?

Died?

__

Rage suddenly exploded inside her head as she realized who was responsible for her father's death. She screamed for a moment, letting out her hatred and despair. 

"Sephiroth…Shinra…SOLDIER…mako reactors…everything_!" A sob escaped her throat. "I hate them all!"_

Groping blindly along the blood-slicked floor, she grasped the sword's heavy handle and hefted it. Its weight was impossibly heavy, but her rage gave her strength. Staggering a bit, she made her way into the adjoining room. 

There, at the top of the stairs, stood the object of all her pain and hatred.

Sephiroth.

She screamed something at him; later she couldn't remember what. Still screaming, she stumbled up the stairs toward him, gripping the sword with white knuckles. Sephiroth whirled around as she flew at him, caught the hilt of the weapon. For a moment they were locked body-to-body, and his gaze bore into hers. Tifa shrieked at the sight of his eyes…they were so cold, so devoid of guilt or remorse. In that instant, his strength won over, and the sword was in his grasp. 

Blazing pain shot through her. She was shocked to see she was flying through the air. Not only physically flying…she felt her mind floating away, too. She felt like a spectator watching some kind of horrible nightmare…any moment now, she would wake up. 

She thudded to the floor. For an instant, agonizing pain…then it faded. The pain faded…her mind faded.

By sheer force of will, she managed to touch the wound, check to see what he'd done to her. Her fingers encountered something wet and slick and warm.

She brought her hand up to her eyes to see. A barely audible gasp escaped her lips. Her fingers were stained with blood…her blood.

She had been fifteen years old.

Tifa swallowed hard, fighting to keep her voice steady. "Why the reactor?" she repeated, quietly.

Sufur was watching her carefully. "Bad memories?"

She swiped the back of her hand over her eyes. "You will never know," she said coldly.

Sufur stood, picking up the pack. "In that case, you'll have to wait and see," he said airily. When she gave him a quizzical look, he explained, "The reactor. You'll find out why later."

"Fine. Later." Tifa folded her arms. "So we're leaving?"

"Yes." He shouldered the pack. "I want to be there by nightfall."

Tifa smiled to herself. Not if she had anything to say about it.

**Took long enough, huh? Sorry. *suddenly scowls* Do you guys know how hard it is to write a WHOLE chap that doesn't include Reno? I almost died! Next chap will focus on him….although something scary may happen. Wait, I'll stop here, or I'll give it away!**

~Lila 


	24. The Dance of Death

Chapter 24-

The Dance of Death

"Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To say that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice."

~_Fire and Ice_, Robert Frost

Elena blinked back tears and clenched her fists. "How could you let this happen?" she demanded angrily. 

Reno only gave a slight shrug. He was leaning against a small, scraggly tree that looked like it might fall over at any moment. There weren't many trees in the Nibel mountains; the landscape was much too bare and foreboding to support much life. Somehow, this tree had survived. Yet now it looked to be dying, like its fellows.

"How could-" Elena began again, but Rude took her arm.

"Stop, Elena," he said, so low only she could hear. "That doesn't matter right now."

She swallowed hard. "Okay. You're right." She backed away, glad for Rude's firm hand. She thought she might fall over. 

The others all looked like she felt. It was barely dawn, and the little amount of light thrown from the rising sun made everyone's faces look grey and wan. Rude wasn't wearing his austere black shades; without them he looked as weary and lost as the rest of them. Barret looked angry, too, but he held Marlene with infinite tenderness. Cid stared at the ground, smoking a cigarette as though it was the last one he was ever going to have. Zack's jaw was set- he seemed more vindictive than angry. Cloud was expressionless, but Elena could tell he was thinking, _What else can go wrong?_

"Okay," Cloud said at length. "We have to decide what to do. Should we-"

"Decide?" Aeris looked up. She was sitting on a large boulder among sparse grass-which, besides the decrepit tree, was the only sign of plant life around. Maybe the flower girl automatically gravitated to wherever greenery resided. _Or maybe she just gravitates to Reno, _Elena thought wryly, noticing the how close the boulder was to the Turk.

"What's there to decide?" Aeris asked. "We have to get back to civilization as soon as possible, get medical help. Then go after Jenova itself." No longer, Elena observed, was Aeris referring to Jenova as a "she".

Zack opened his mouth, but Cloud beat him to it.

"That's not an option," Cloud replied. "We can't leave Tifa."

"So what are you saying?" Aeris shot back, looking madder than Elena had ever seen her. "We just let him…die?" The last word was barely a whisper, and suddenly Elena felt quite sorry for the other woman. As uncharacteristically angry as Aeris was, she was still the same gentle, somewhat fragile person she'd been before. Still susceptible to pain and grief.

"That's not what I'm saying." Cloud shook his head. "I'm saying we can't abandon Tifa. If we lose track of Sufur, we may never find him again."

"We've already lost track." Aeris spoke quietly, but her green eyes flashed.

"I say we split up," Zack voted, leaning on his sword. 

"No," Cloud said firmly. "We stay together. Now, listen." He looked at Aeris carefully, visibly unsure of how to voice his next words. "If…do you think if we eliminate Jenova, Reno won't- the Sresla will disappear?" 

Aeris looked at Reno, but he didn't meet her gaze. "Yes," she said. "I think so."

"You don't know?" Elena demanded before she could stop herself. 

"I don't." Aeris looked composed once more, although every now and again her eyes would dart to Reno.

Cloud looked at each of them piercingly, as though he suddenly had an idea. "Hey. What if we kill two birds with one stone?"

"How do you mean?" Elena asked.

"What if Sufur leads us to Jenova?" There was a light in his blue eyes, a light that hadn't shone for days. "What if…we find Sufur, we find Jenova?"

"What makes you say that?" Elena was frustrated and let him know by her tone. "Where did that brain-dead-"

"Collaboration," Zack said before she could go any further. "Sufur's a double-crosser."

There was a moment of silence. Elena scowled darkly. "Assuming that's true, what the hell is he thinking?"

"Possibly a trap," Cloud said, starting to pace. "It makes sense. Sufur wanted to join us to keep an eye on us. Then he finds a reason for us to follow _him_. Why? So he can lead us right to Jenova."

"It's a long shot," Rude said from behind Elena. He sounded as doubtful as she felt. 

"Yes," Cloud agreed. He said nothing more, and simply waited.

Elena thought hard. If Cloud was right, then following Sufur might be worth it after all. Did he really believe Sufur might lead them to Jenova? Or was he just trying to convince them going after Tifa was the best course of action? It wasn't like Cloud to lie, but he _had _been acting weird lately, and…

__

No, she suddenly realized. _Right now, he's more like himself than he's been in days. _

She still hesitated. "Do you really think it's the smartest thing to do?"

Cloud nodded. "Look at it this way: We only have two choices. We can assume Sufur's expecting us to follow him right into Jenova's clutches. Or we can assume he has nothing to do with her and is merely kidnapping Tifa for reasons of his own."

Zack's jaw was set in a tight line. "We've got to follow Sufur. It's the only lead we have." He squared his eyes defiantly against a couple of dubious stares- his reasons for siding with Cloud were rather obvious. "Better we go after Jenova herself. Just getting Reno some pills won't do him much good." Zack bit his lip, already regretful he'd said that in front of Reno. He had let panic get to him, just because Tifa was missing, and his gut knotted every time he thought about her.

"Would everyone please stop talking about me like I'm not here!" Reno suddenly exploded, speaking for the first time. "Listen: I'm not helpless. I'm not an invalid. And I am definitely _not_-"this with a glance at Zack and Cloud- "already dead!"

During the strained silence that followed, Reno's eyes grudgingly accepted Zack's mute apology, and burned with such infernal fire that it was almost anti-climatic when Cloud finally replied, "Of course. You're still one of us."

Reno gave his trademark cocky half-smile. "Til the end."

Those last two words seemed to hang in the air, a reminder of what was to come. 

Elena clenched her jaw angrily. "What are we waiting for?" she said, looking around at the others. "Waiting around won't do us any good." 

Cloud glanced at Reno. "You're sure you're well enough to come along?"

He shrugged. "Yeah. Actually, I feel perfectly fine." 

Cloud looked to Aeris. "Why?"

"The Sresla may have different effects, depending on the vulnerability of the person's spirit," she said softly. She paused a moment, as though unwilling to say the rest, then finished. "The illusions and fever might not set in right away, but the barrier- no matter how strong it is- always breaks eventually." 

Elena read between the lines of Aeris' words. Reno was used to pain and inner turmoil. For as long was she'd known him, Reno had been good at shutting out pain, physical or otherwise. At least, that was what she thought. She'd found out later he hadn't been able to shut it out at all; in fact, it had utterly consumed him. It was _hiding _what he felt that had fooled her, fooled everyone.

All of a sudden she was scared to death.

"Well," Cloud said slowly, "we'd better get going."

******Zack paused for a moment to rest. He's been climbing for more than an hour, and although he had wanted to keep going, his exhausted body just ground to a stop. As he wiped his brow and leaned on his crutch, he thought about his decision to take off after Tifa alone. 

He didn't know why he wanted to search for Tifa alone –it was foolhardy, and probably even a little selfish. Somehow, though, he didn't want to accept Cloud's help, even though the blond leader had seemed unusually obliging and patient today. 

Maybe it was because Cloud wanted to let Sufur live, and Zack had vowed to kill the bastard. Or maybe, he just didn't want Cloud to be there the moment he saw Tifa again. It had been hard not seeing her, not knowing if she was all right, not knowing if things would ever be the same between them. He didn't even know for sure how she felt about him. If only he hadn't lost control that night -she'd be safe with Cloud and the others right now. 

He swallowed hard, swallowed down the nagging questions and hobbled to a relatively smooth-looking section of rock. He began to pull himself up, holding the crutch under one arm. He didn't stop again, despite the mounting fatigue and frustration, because his fear for Tifa, his need to see her grew more desperate with ever passing moment. He would keep searching for her. No matter what it took, he would find her. 

******

Yuffie, who had been paired with Nanaki, was mulling over the whole business. Everything was going wrong again, just when it seemed they might find a way after all. Just when she was starting to believe it might be okay to laugh again.

She was suddenly very angry. What right did Jenova have, to make them all feel so helpless and scared? What right had she to throw them into despair? None at all. The damned chicken wouldn't even come out and fight in the open; instead weakening its victims by depriving them first of health, then of hope, then of life. 

"We can't let her do this to us!" Yuffie suddenly exploded, picking up a rock and throwing it through the air. It sailed a good ways into the distance before plummeting to the ground with a sharp clatter. Yuffie stood glaring at it, hands balled into fists, chest heaving with ire. Nanaki turned to look at her with his good eye. 

"Throwing stones will not help our cause," he said in his infuriating logical tone.

"It helps _me_!" she yelled, bending over and picking up another rock. Her teeth clenched, she whipped her arm back and threw it, harder this time. It struck the surface of a large boulder, then ricocheted away.

She suddenly had the idea that if Jenova had been that boulder, she'd have struck the thing square between the eyes. She wasn't sure if Jenova had eyes in its natural form, but she liked imagining it did.

"That was for Dad!" she yelled, hurling another rock. It had the same boulder again. "For Adine!" More rocks, thrown harder and faster. One for Tifa, Reno, hell she'd throw one for herself, too. Zack? Sure, he could have one. Maybe she'd throw one for each of them. She hoped there were enough rocks. 

"And that's for Cloud!" she screamed, chucking one last rock. "For messing up his life so he could come along and mess up mine!" 

The sheer force of this fling threw her off-balance, and she fell on her side, landing hard in the gravel. She sat there a moment, not trying to get back up. Her bangs were in her eyes, but she didn't bother brushing them away, either.

All was still for just a moment, then Nanaki trotted over. He sat back on his haunches and appraised her carefully. He was not a human, and did not possess the same human way of dealing with emotions Yuffie did. Still, they were roughly the same age when it came down to lifespan equivalence, and it seemed to him that she needed to talk.

"It has been hard," he said quietly. "On all of us."

She nodded, still not looking up at him.

"My tribe," he began, "was never a violent one. We lived in harmony with nature and the Planet. Then, the Gi attacked. We had to defend ourselves or die. There was no choice. We had to kill to protect ourselves and the peaceful values we upheld." He glanced at her, but she said nothing. "Peace never comes without a price. And without the fighting you will never come to appreciate the peace you have. Am I correct?"

Yuffie nodded, still not speaking, but her bright eyes showed interest in what he was saying.

"My mother and father were killed in that war." Nanaki hung his head. "They sacrificed themselves to protect the ones they loved and for what they believed in. And if they hadn't made that sacrifice, taught me the true meaning of victory, I would not be here this day, traveling with you."

Yuffie stared at him curiously. He had said "victory". His parents had both died, but he spoke as if they had won all the same. And maybe they did. Maybe their deaths had accomplished more than they ever could have in life.

"It is much like what we do today," Nanaki said, giving her a long look.

There was a message in there somewhere, but Yuffie didn't feel like trying to puzzle it out. Instead, she hugged Nanaki tight around his furry neck.

"Thank you," she whispered, voice muffled by his mane. "You lecture, but you're sweet at the same time, so it's okay."

Nanaki smile his version of a smile, showing every one of his sharp fangs. "Feel better now?"

"I do." She drew back from him and suddenly jumped up. "Come on! Let's find Tifa!"

He followed her down a sloping mound of boulders, Yuffie chattering all the way. 

"By the way, Red, how's Cloud taking all this? It's weird, but today he seemed happier than he's been for a long time…"

******

Tifa wiped sweat off her face and took a deep breath. Even though the mountain air was freezing, she was burning with exertion. She had objected to climbing straight up this huge slab of rock, but Sufur had insisted, saying they needed to keep moving, and this was the quickest way to the reactor.

Below her, Sufur noticed she'd stopped. "Hurry up!" he yelled. 

Tifa considered just letting go and falling on him. She'd die, but maybe he would, too. But she let the impulse pass –there had to be another way. A small handhold of rock jutted just above and to the left of her head. She reached up and gripped it, pulling herself up another few inches.

By chance she glanced down. There, at the bottom of the cliff, a shock of spiky black hair. She could barely catch the gleam of his sword.

Zack? He'd survived Sufur's shots! He was fine, and was climbing up this very rock. She very nearly sighed aloud in relief. 

Zack saw her, too. He stared up at her for a moment, then limped to the rock wall and began to climb. Were his movements a little…awkward? She wasn't sure, because she couldn't watch him, couldn't risk Sufur spotting him. But she prayed fervently that the others weren't far behind, especially if he was injured. Because if he got hurt trying to help him this time....

__

Please…please don't let him get hurt. 

"Tifa!" Sufur shouted, warningly. She'd stopped again.

She swallowed tremulously, terrified she'd given Zack away with her clumsy effort to stall Sufur. _Don't look down, _she prayed silently. _Please, don't let him look down._

She heard his shotgun scrape against rock as he pulled himself up to her. Her legs quivered with the effort of staying perfectly still, but she didn't dare move.

"What are you doing, Tifa?" Sufur said quietly. "You're not going to try anything, are you? I already explained your choices. You can cooperate, or you can die."

She forced herself to keep her voice calm, to look anywhere but down. "I'm tired," she begged. "Just let me rest a moment.'

How much closer had Zack come while she and Sufur played this game? She couldn't tell. She doubted Zack was at full strength –she still remembered that night vividly. Yet she couldn't help hoping he would overcome Sufur, somehow. She was grasping at straws again, that desperate hope that somehow everything would be all right again, that she only had to believe and the dream would become reality. As Reno had realized, it was difficult to give up on hope, even false hope, when it was all that was left. Foolish as it was, it could sustain through the darkest times, support when otherwise the hurt and pain and grief might obliterate all else. But everything has an opposite, a negative effect. Hope's was disappointment. Tifa had already been through one round of bitterness and despair, when Adine's life had been snatched away. And if Zack got killed trying to free her from Sufur… She suddenly wished that Zack hadn't come for her; come this far, only to face Sufur's shot gun.

Sufur reached out and grabbed her by the throat. His powerful fingers squeezed even as she let out a choking gasp. The cold double barrel of the shotgun pressed against her stomach.

"You must think I'm stupid," he sneered. "Well, I didn't get this far by being stupid, I can assure you. I don't like to take chances. So, you see, I would be smarter if I took you out right now."

"Sufur, stop!" Zack shouted. "Just let her go!" He was close, a mere fifty or so feet below them. 

For the first time, Sufur made a mistake. Arrogantly believing he had Tifa helpless, he let his attention slip for a moment to look down upon the last person he expected to see. 

How had Zack overtaken the rest of AVALANCHE and caught up?

Taking advantage of his distraction, Tifa clouted him in the face with her bare hand. A little stunned, Sufur jerked back, the back of his head striking rock. The arm holding his shotgun hung limply at his side. 

"Zack!" Tifa called, slipping down a bit. Tears of joy stung her eyes. He just beamed at her, warm blue eyes barely able to contain his joy. Seconds before his face abruptly darkened. 

"Look out!"

Her attention diverted, Tifa had lost track of Sufur. And now it was too late. Sufur swung in from an upper piece of rock. Both of his legs struck her firmly in the middle, knocking the wind out of her. Tifa lost her hold and crashed down the slab of rock. About twenty-five feet above Zack she managed to grab a wedge of rock with one hand. The rest of her dangled into dizzying space. It was at least a two hundred feet fall down the mountainside.

"Tifa! Hang on!" Zack scrambled desperately to reach her, but it was obvious he wasn't going to get to her in time. She scrabbled frantically for a better hold, but found only slippery rock and gravel. There was no hold, and her grasp was slipping…

__

No…not yet! She begged. 

Sufur leaped down to a position just above her. Balancing precariously on a section of rock, he extended one hand. "You can make it." 

Despite her desperate wish to live, Tifa hesitated. His other arm still gripped the shotgun, and his icy voice sent chills down her spine. 

"Tifa. Take my hand. Unless you'd prefer to die."

Twenty-five feet below, Zack's heart wrenched, because he'd finally admitted he couldn't get to her in time. Sufur could, but would he? Sufur wouldn't give a damn whether she lived or died! 

It hit him. Whether Sufur cared or not, she would die unless she let Sufur help her. "Do it, Tifa!" he yelled, unable to let her risk her life.

Tifa's breath caught as she absorbed the meaning of Zack's words, the anguish in his voice. Swallowing tensely, she reached up for Sufur's hand.

He pulled her up slowly, but didn't drop her. 

As she scrabbled for a hold on the rock, she sensed Sufur's other arm come up. And though she grabbed desperately at his shoulder, the shotgun had already gone off.

The blast exploded along the very ridge of rock Zack was clinging to. Bits of rock and scree flew into his face, stinging him painfully. The blast made him lose his hold, and he fell.

"Zack!" Tifa screamed. In her panic she would have dropped down after him, but Sufur kept hold of her.

"Calm down," he said tersely. "If you fall from this height you won't survive."

She answered by slamming one elbow into his face. "You son of a bitch! Let me go!"

"Would you like to know why I did that?" he continued, rubbing his nose.

Tifa grabbed hold of the rock wall for support and sent a high kick at his head. As her red steel-toed boot connected with his temple, Sufur lost his balance and fell. A hundred feet from the ground he had the presence of mind to grab a patch of weeds growing from a split in the rock. He dangled, helpless, for the time being, but Tifa paid no attention to him. Instead she climbed down the cliff as fast as she could.

"Zack!" He couldn't be…no. He'd made it through so much, so much…just to see her again? But he'd been through much worse than a fall. He had to be all right. 

She didn't know how she got the rest of the way down, but as soon as she got to him, she collapsed on his chest and began to weep. She wept, heedless of Sufur or Jenova, or her precarious plight on the cliff where Sufur had nearly ended her life. 

"Tifa…" she heard him mutter, and felt a hand atop her head, weaving weakly through her hair. And fortified beyond reason by the mere touch of his hand, she finally drew off his chest and took in the sight of him. He was lying immobile on his back, Buster Sword at his side, blood matting unruly black spikes. She swallowed hard and gently caressed his lacerated temple.

"Zack…you came for me?"

Her voice was but a tremulous whisper, but it was as though the sun had come out to warm him. He smiled at her, eyes shining with startling intensity. "I came to get you, Tifa," he breathed. "We're going back to the others now."

"Thank you…" she murmured into his forehead and tenderly kissed his bloodstained face, then drew her lips flutteringly across his own, savoring the softness of his lips. After all, there might not be a next time. 

He brought shaky palms up to cradle her face, and kissed her back with every ounce of strength left in his depleted body. He closed his eyes and leaned desperately into her touch, then tore away with a harsh moan.

"Tifa, we gotta go," he gasped urgently. Sufur was probably close behind –he couldn't allow her to linger here. Even though he wanted nothing more than to stay with her like this, to soak up her soothing, soft warmth, so much joy blotting out his pain. 

"Yeah…let's…go back together," she smiled brokenly, a touch of an apology glimmering in her eyes. An apology for deceiving him, for pretending she couldn't see he was fading fast, and his hands had grown clammy against her skin. Although she probably couldn't fool him, with rivulets of tears marking her cheeks.

"Tifa," he tried to sit up, but fell back, and had to settle for urgently squeezing her hand. "We buried Adine at the foot of the well. I promised I'd take you to see her. We have to go back."

She swallowed another viscous lump, and nodded. "You…always keep your promises."

"I try to…keep my promises…to the…people I love…" He held her gaze meaningfully, and his trembling hand grazed the soft curve of her cheek, wringing yet more tears from her eyes. 

"Zack…I…I…" Her throat closed up yet again, and she wanted to yank her heart out of her chest. So that she could show him how she felt, in those moments that might be their last.

But he touched his finger to her lips, and the burden fell from her shoulders. "It's okay…I love you, Tifa," he whispered, and his eyes were so warm and joyous that her heart couldn't help soaring for a moment. 

Then his arms went limp around her shoulders, and waves of panic swept over her. She would've shaken him frantically, but the ghostly shade of his skin told her that it was no use. So she wiped at tears, and listened for the beat of his heart. Felt for the thread of his pulse.

At least he still had a chance, and a chance was all that she dared hope for. Already she could hear the heavy crunch of boot on gravel, announcing the arrival of Sufur. 

Sufur cleared his throat impatiently, but she didn't look up, as she was busily tearing Zack's shirt into bandages.

"If you come any closer I'll kill you," she stated matter-of-factly, tending to Zack's wounds. She wasn't afraid of Sufur anymore. He had saved her life and nearly ended Zack's. She wanted no more to do with the man, no matter what he might claim about "common interests" and "parts to play". And she wasn't bluffing, either- she would kill him, if he got in her way.

She tied the tourniquet around Zack's shoulder tightly. As she did so, the metallic muzzle of the shotgun entered her field of vision, pressed against Zack's skull.

"And what will you do to me if I kill him?" His soft, almost indiscernible voice had a hint of underlying threat and malice. Tifa clenched her fists. Suddenly she realized how much she hated this man- more than she had ever hated anyone in her life. She hated him more than she had ever hated Sephiroth, President Shinra, Scarlet. Never in her life had she ever felt such raw, vicious emotion that suddenly made her want to reach out and _kill_. 

The moment quickly passed, but Tifa was left breathless by its horror. She had never felt anything like that before, and she never wanted to again. She would rather die before feeling anything like it again.

She passed a hand over Zack's face, feeling his warmth, his tenderness. Even though all of her movements were calm and controlled, she was inwardly trembling with fright. She wanted so badly for him to wake up and hold her. Comfort her, and tell her how everything would be all right. And, maybe, remind her that she once had enough compassion to reach out to another human being. That she still had a heart, no matter how much one cold, calculating bastard might curdle her blood. 

But Zack couldn't help her now. And even if he suddenly recovered, there was Sufur with his gun, still cocked and ready. No, she would have to help them both.

Tifa slowly got to her feet. An abrupt coldness had come over her, so different from the hatred it was almost worse. She didn't want to feel that hate, that anger anymore. It was Sufur's fault…everything was his fault. If she got rid of him now, maybe everything _would_ be all right. 

She brought her hand back and threw a punch at his face. Almost before she'd moved, he reacted, calmly putting up a hand to block her punch. Undeterred, she whipped her leg up in a high kick. Without taking his eyes off hers, he evaded that, too. 

It was almost like a dance, beginning slow, then going faster and faster. Tifa used every trick she knew- roundhouse kicks, flips, rolls and counterblows- but he always seemed to anticipate her move and somehow block it. The whole time, their gazes were locked. Both knew the steps of this deadly dance, and both knew the price of a single mistake.

Tifa flipped forward, aiming with both legs at his upper body. He simply stepped aside, and as she landed he said, "This is foolish, you realize."

She dealt him a blow to the stomach. He was a little slow to block it, but stopped her fist all the same. "You can't win, Tifa," he continued. "At least not on your own. You must learn how to use others, when you need to. You are not in as terrible a position as you might think."

All the while he was talking, she remained still, but as he finished she clouted him in the side of his head. Sufur fell back a bit, perhaps a bit dazed. It was the only blow she'd gotten in, but it was all she needed. Tifa moved in to finish him off.

As she stepped toward him, however, something changed. Tifa hesitated, confused. Something was wrong. He should not be this good a fighter. One lucky punch was all she'd gotten in, and she had trained herself in martial arts nearly all her life. And why was he smiling like that?

Then, half-hidden in the gravel in front of him, she caught sight of the gun, cocked and ready, just as before. And she knew that if she hadn't frozen just now, he would have pulled the trigger.

They froze like that for an instant, staring at each other. Then Sufur threw back his head and laughed. 

"This is all so amusing," he chuckled, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes. "I really don't want to kill you, Tifa, it would truly break my heart. There's never a dull moment with you, is there?"

Dazed and disoriented, Tifa waited. What was he leading up to? What did he want?

Sufur stopped laughing abruptly. "Hurry," he said, jerking a thumb at Zack. "Say farewell to him, if you wish. I doubt he'll wake up before nightfall, and we'll be long gone before then."

Slowly and jerkily, as though an unseen puppeteer was guiding her like a marionette, Tifa knelt by Zack's side, and her heart ached as she watched him. His eyes were softly closed now, not clenched shut against pain as when she had first found him. His mouth wasn't pulled into the usual lopsided grin, or smiling wryly at her, but at least he wasn't grimacing. It would've looked like he was just sleeping, except for the ghastly sheen of his skin, and the blood matting a couple of unruly spikes to his brow.

She let her fingers lightly stroke back his hair, and smiled a little when the spikes sprang right back into place.

"Someday…I'm gonna have to cut your hair…so you can fit through doorways…"

Another crop of tears fell with her attempt at humor, and she buried her face against his chest.

"Zack…I'm sorry…" She drew a breath. "I have to go now…but, I promise I'll come back to you. So…promise me you're gonna pull through…please? You have to, because…we still have to visit Adine together and, talk about…a lot of things…"

A single sob wracked her frame, but she clenched her fists and raised herself off his chest. When she had regained a little bit of composure, she leaned down and tenderly kissed his forehead. "I'll be right back."

She could feel Sufur's eyes on her, but didn't look at him. Instead, she stared unseeingly at the dark landscape all around her. There, beyond the mountain. The reactor, and the secrets it held, were so close…

"I'm ready." 


	25. The Bitter Taste of Vengeance

Chapter 23-

The Bitter Taste of Vengeance

"Sombre the night is.

And though we have our lives, we know

What sinister threat lurks there."

~_Returning, We Hear the Larks_, Issac Rosenburg

__

Now!

Tifa whirled around suddenly and leaped from the ledge. For a moment she fell through space, then landed in a crouch. The mountain scree bit into her hands, tearing the skin, but she ignored the pain and was up again. She quickly dashed to a small outcropping of rocks and hid in their shadow, breathing hard. 

From roughly six or seven feet above she heard Sufur cursing, and the crunch of gravel as he jumped off after her. He stood for a moment, brushing himself off, then slowly turned, searching for her. 

"Tifa, I'm not in the mood for foolish games," he called in a loud voice. He started walking in a lazy circle, blue eyes darting about. "Come out now. You know you can't win."

She could too. Tifa tensed, lowering into a fighting stance as he passed her. The moment he had his back to her, she ran and launched a kick at his head. At the last second, Sufur spun around and intercepted it, grabbing her booted foot in both hands. He took a moment to give a gloating smile, sure that he had her. 

Enraged by his arrogance, Tifa hopped forward on her other leg and delivered a flurry of blows to his face. He fell back, dropping her leg. Tifa recovered quickly and waited for his next move. 

Sufur looked up at her with hatred. One hand was held over his unidentifiable face. Blood streamed through his fingers. "That's it," he growled, cocking the shotgun with the other hand. "I was going to let you live, but you're turning out to be more trouble than you're worth." He pulled the trigger. 

Tifa dropped to the ground. The gun retort was deafening, but she didn't cover her ears. She imagined she could feel the shotgun pellets ruffle through her hair. She grit her teeth.

Sufur fired again, but once more Tifa was too quick. She feinted to the side and rushed him. Her shoulder caught him square in the gut. Sufur fell back on the gravel. His shotgun flew out of his hands and skittered out of reach. As he struggled to overpower her, Tifa's bare left hand shot out and grabbed him by the throat. Her eyes bore into his with cold resolve. 

"You said you had no qualms about killing me," she whispered. "Did you think I wouldn't feel the same about you?"

One of his hands was pinned down by hers, but the other he brought up in a feeble attempt to sway her grip. "If you kill me, you're right back where you started," he growled, struggling against her grasp. "Alone. Confused. Vulnerable."

Tifa tightened her hold. "What's this?" she mocked. "You presume to judge me? Trust me, by kidnapping and hiding me in the mountains, you aren't doing any favors for anybody. Least of all me."

"This isn't about you!" He managed to free one foot just enough to kick her in the side. Tifa's grasp slackened enough for him to shove her off and climb to his feet. 

Tifa rolled and shot up, too. "And who, may I ask, is this all about?" she retorted. "You?"

He made a move for his gun, lying abandoned some ten yards away. Tifa stepped deliberately in front of his path. Sufur stopped. "Everyone," he said at last. "It's about all of us. You, me, Reno, Cloud. Everyone."

Tifa rolled her eyes. "Riiiiight," she said, drawing the word out. "So you really have everyone's best interests at heart, don't you."

"I never said that." He stood his ground and looked at her calmly. "But you would do well to remember you play a part in this little act, too."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" she challenged. 

"Exactly what I said." Sufur glanced up at the sky. The sun was nearing the horizon, bathing the ugly mountain peaks in a blanket of liquid gold. The sight was lovely, but he wasn't appreciating the view. It was getting late.

"What?" Tifa demanded, not liking the way he'd suddenly lost interest in her. 

He turned to her with a regretful shrug. "I'm sorry." He glided closer, walking with smooth, unnerving grace. 

"For what?" Tifa didn't step away. She didn't fear him.

"But," he continued as though she hadn't spoken, "there is no other way." Before she could move, he grabbed her roughly by the throat and slammed her head into one of the rock ledges. Tifa struggled; made a sluggish swing at his middle. He moved aside and slammed her into the rock again. She groaned and fell limp, blood oozing down the side of her face.

"A rather crude and inefficient method, I admit," he told her as he laid her down on the ground. "But, you see, _my _Seal materia was kept in the shotgun." He stepped over her body and retrieved the weapon. Using materia- the same materia they'd dared to use on him- was the desired method of shutting the girl up when he needed to, but things had worked out quite nicely. At least she'd think twice again before giving him more trouble. 

He paused suddenly and glanced behind him. There, perhaps a mile or so behind, blazing in the gathering darkness, was the glow of a small campfire. It was them…Reno, Cloud, and the others. 

He frowned. He didn't like how close they were. The last thing he needed was for them to catch up before it was time. Perhaps he should ask Jenova to help slow them down…

******It was night again. Cid sank down by the small campfire they'd made with a dusky sigh. A whole day of searching, and they still hadn't caught up with Sufur and Tifa. 

They were in the mountains, lost. Not that it mattered; it was clear to Cid they had no idea where they were going anyway. In spite of this, Cloud had pushed them on even after the sun had gone down…at least until lack of visibility and Zack's obvious exhaustion forced them to a halt. They could go no further tonight. 

Many of the party had already retired (two to a tent) but Cid stayed up. He needed to smoke, and to think. A few others had the same idea (thinking, not smoking) and were gathered around the fire as well. Cloud, Shera and Zack each looked lost in their own thoughts. Reno was the only exception- he alternately smoked and took a swig from a flask in his hand. 

"What's the plan for tomorrow?" Cid questioned, lighting up. Shera noticed his presence and offered a weak smile. He returned it, but only for a moment. The others were watching.

"What else?" Cloud said wearily. "Trudge around hoping to find something." 

Zack looked up. "It might help to split up," he said. "We could cover more ground that way."

Cloud nodded slowly. "That's true. We could try it."

"Why does he want her, anyway?" Cid mused aloud. "Why Tifa? Just to piss us off?"

Reno stopped drinking for a moment. "Maybe one of us in particular," he began. "Maybe-"

Zack grabbed the flask out of his hand. "I think you've had enough for one night," he said in a low tone, eyes darting to Cloud to see if he'd heard. "You can keep your brilliant comments to yourself." 

Reno shrugged, then grinned when Zack looked away. 

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence. Finally Shera said, "If we find him? What then?" 

Zack took a swig of Reno's flask. "Hold him still until I get there with my sword," he suggested. 

"No," Cloud said suddenly. "We need him alive."

Zack screwed the cap on the flask and tossed it back to Reno. "Dammit, Cloud," he snarled angrily. "Why are you so convinced letting him live is a good idea?"

"I'm not," Cloud snapped back. "But what he said…about Jenova. Did it ever occur to you that maybe she _is _controlling him, in a sense?"

"Control-" Zack started to yell, but Reno interrupted.

"What are you talking about, Strife?" he asked carefully. 

"I'm talking about collaboration." Cloud rubbed a hand over his face. "Let's think about this. We know Jenova's in this world, right? Did you ever wonder how she got here in the first place? Now, at this time?"

"Waittaminute," Reno interrupted. "I thought Darryn was the one. He was in the lab, remember?"

Cid laughed, blowing cigarette smoke into the air. "Please. Do ya think that dumbass had the brains?"

"Not only that, but it's a given fact he didn't know anything of the Sresla, let alone Jenova. Sufur knew her, he even admitted it," Cloud said.

"That's right!" Zack said, thinking back. "Not many people even knew about Jenova unless they were directly involved with her, right? How did Sufur even know the name?"

"Shinra didn't advertise its top-secret projects," Reno pointed out. "Us Turks only found out about Jenova when Sephiroth started cutting shit up. Hojo had to tell us then."

"So you think Sufur's involved with Jenova?" Shera asked. "Collaborating with her?" 

Cloud leaned back, shaking his head. "We don't know. It's just a guess."

Reno stood, tossing away his cigarette. "Well, if everyone's done with our guessing games, I'm going to get some sleep." He nodded to Zack. "And unless you want to trip and take out your other leg, you should, too."

"Maybe later," Zack said listlessly, his eyes dim and distant. He was thinking of Tifa again.

Reno rolled his eyes, but supposed it couldn't be helped, considering the way Zack felt about her. Pocketing his trusty flask, he stepped over the rock he'd been sitting on and made his way across the gravel to the tent he shared with Rude. He flung open the flap and crashed in, thinking it might be fun to wake his partner from a sound sleep. But Rude wasn't there. He was probably out drinking by himself. Reno knew Rude had been more affected than he let on by Tifa's absence. Although he would never admit it, Rude apparently still had feelings for the young woman. Rude should come out in the open; he and Zack and Cloud could start a Tifa Lockheart fanclub. 

Reno smiled at this thought, but it didn't last for long. Tifa was gone. If they didn't find her soon, she might be killed. Zack would go crazy, and Cloud would probably lay down and die. And the rest of them? He had no idea. Death wasn't a new thing to him, but it had been a while since he had actually cared for people like this, cared whether they lived or died. 

Reno sat down and closed his eyes. Things were spinning out of control. The chances of everyone coming out of this alive were slim. Hell, the chances of _anyone _coming out of this alive were slim. Adine was already gone, Yuffie's father had died. Tifa could be dead too, for all they knew.

He remembered what he'd said to Aeris: _We have to have hope. _She claimed she could always tell when he lied. Had she known, then, that he hadn't even believed in his own words? 

Of course, that was nothing new, he realized now. When he'd been a Turk of Shinra, he'd said a lot of things. Mostly bullshit, though. When you were a Turk, you recited the script Shinra wrote out for you. You never said what you were thinking, voiced what you believed. 

But that had all changed. Now he could say whatever he wanted, feel whatever he wanted, and it would all be okay. Some people might act pissed off at him, but it would still end up okay. He was doing something right, something commendable. It should make up for everything. 

Yet, somehow it didn't. It didn't seem as though anything could wipe the dark stains smeared over his soul, stains brought on by the reckless abandon he'd given himself up to in the blackest period of his life. Still, Aeris believed in him. She had hope for him. She was probably the only one.

As he sat, brooding, the flap to his tent slowly opened, and Aeris crept in. "Are you awake?" she whispered, tucking some of her brown hair behind one ear. It was unbound and surrounded her like an unearthly cloak. 

Reno stumbled to his feet. "Aeris," he said in surprise. How strange. He'd just been thinking about her. "What are you doing here?" He suddenly grinned. "Look, baby, I know you want me, but can't this wait until morning?" 

She didn't respond, her green eyes darting back and forth as though she was afraid of something. She stepped closer to him. "Help me," she said breathlessly. "I need you to help me."

She seemed to be freaking out, but in a quiet, almost controlled way that was not at all typical of Aeris. He put his hands on her shoulders. He thought he felt her tremble under his touch. She was wearing only her thin lavender nightgown; maybe she was cold. "Aeris, tell me what's wrong," he said carefully. 

She seemed different, somehow. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something was definitely wrong with her. "I need…you," she breathed, before closing in to place her lips over his. 

Oddly enough, Reno's first instinct was to shove away, although every sensible part of his mind was urging him to enjoy himself. He responded automatically, reacting with thoughts and senses he hadn't used for so long, losing himself in her beautiful emerald eyes….

Suddenly, something changed. Her eyes flashed purple, and she bit down hard enough to draw blood. Reno realized what was happening too late to pull away. Aeris laughed and threw him to the ground. As he started up, she turned and ducked through the flap. She was gone. 

It took Reno a moment to get to his feet; his mind was in total chaos. The bitch. The bitch had taken Aeris- someone he trusted, someone he…that bitch had taken Aeris' form to trick him. And he had fallen for it like a moron. She had dared tarnish Aeris, who was so pure and virtuous!

"Jenova," he murmured through grit teeth. Time for her to die. 

He crashed through the tent opening and looked around wildly. There was no sign of her. She had disappeared.

He licked his lips and tasted coppery blood. He'd fallen right into a very simple trap. Elena had said Jenova could take on human forms; why hadn't he been on his guard?

Did that mean this was all an illusion?

He didn't know. The blood on his lip was real enough. The chill night air was real enough. What was happening? 

He suddenly heard a sound behind him. Reno whirled around and saw her. Without thinking he grabbed her by the throat and slammed her to the ground.

"What are you playing at?" he growled, careful to keep her down. "You want to tell me whether this is real or not?"

She reached up weakly to try to pry his hand off. "Reno," she managed to get out urgently. "What are you doing?"

What was he doing? A shred of doubt entered his mind. Could it possibly be… "Aeris?" he said cautiously, not removing his hand from her throat. If she made a wrong move, he could still snap her neck in an instant. "Is that you?"

"Who else would it be?" she said, placing both her hands on his. "Reno…are you all right?" 

He tightened his grip just a bit. "I'm sorry, but I need to know. Is this an illusion?"

"Illusion?" Now she looked frightened. "Reno, what are you-" She suddenly stopped, her eyes on the hand at her throat. 

Reno didn't want to look, but he knew he had to. He was hardly surprised, to see the blood-red emblem, the Sresla. Maybe he was mildly annoyed, but mostly he felt numb, like he'd known it was there all along.

Aeris' hands suddenly tightened on his, but she wasn't trying to pull away anymore. Now it was more like a reflex, as though she was in pain. Her green eyes looked into his with an intensity that told him she didn't want it to be real either, she desperately hoped it wasn't real.

He slowly sat up and moved away a little. He couldn't look into those pain-filled eyes of hers, eyes that bled as though he had intentionally wounded her. Aeris didn't let go of his hand; instead gripping it more tightly. In the end, he pulled her to him and held her against his chest as she cried.


	26. Night

Chapter 25-

Night

"Everyone here

Is wondering what it's like to be with someone else

And everyone here's to blame

And everyone here

Gets caught up in the pleasure of the pain

Everyone here hides shades of shame

Yeah, but looking inside we're the same

We're the same and

We're all grown now

Yeah but we don't know how  
To get it back to good…"

~Back 2 Good, Matchbox 20

Far away, a small fishing boat drew up along a lonely coast. The fisherman got out of the boat and pulled it onto land, with the help of a younger, stockier man. Once it was aground, the other passengers in the boat got out.

The fisherman heaved a sigh, stretching his old muscles, then turned to the stocky man beside him. "You sure you're all right, sir? I mean no disrespect, but you were half-drowned when I found you and these other fellows. I'm surprised you even lasted long enough for me to pick you up-"

The other man shook his head. "A man can't die when he has a task to finish." He fingered a dagger at his belt as he spoke, a small smile twisting the corners of his mouth.

"Well said." The fisherman glanced at the sky. "I'd better be off, then. Where'd you say you were headed?"

"Gongaga."

The old man squinted at him, jaw agape. "My good man, you must be joking!" he gasped. "The virus came and went there. There's no one left!"

The stocky man stiffened. "No one…left?" he repeated in a strangled whisper.

The fisherman scratched his grey whiskers. "Maybe a few survivors still clinging to life, but not many. It's a ghost town."

The other didn't seem to hear. "No one left," he muttered, starting to pace. "No one left!"

"My advice? Take to the sea," the old man urged. "This whole plague has to blow over sometime. Buy a boat and hide out on the water, and- hey, where you fellows going?"

The stocky man was already walking away, his five followers close behind. 

******Cloud drew a shuddering breath and leaned closer to the fire. Even though its heat was making him sweat, he was still cold. The night seemed to strip the warmth from his very bones.

Most of the others seemed to feel the same way, though none were as close to the fire as he. They were missing a few people: Reno, who had gone to bed early, complaining of a headache. He said it was the mountain air. No one said differently, even though it was obvious Aeris was fretting herself to near tears. She had spent most of the day watching him, her feelings plainly etched on her face. But whenever she had gone near him, he had sent her away, claiming he was fine.

Cloud had seen none of that, since the first thing he did when the group met again at dusk was build a fire and stare into the flames. When Zack was discovered missing not long after their earlier meeting, Cloud, Rude and an insistent Reno had gone in search of him. But the mountains were immense, and the day had been wasted. Almost the entire time they searched, Reno had been vociferously blasting Zack's rash actions and his idiocy in general. It was obvious the redhead blamed himself for not stopping the ex-SOLDIER.

Cloud shook his head. Reno was not to blame; none of them were. Even though he felt himself to be the biggest fool- Zack had even declared his intentions to split up, in that meeting right before he left! Cloud had refuted that, saying they needed to stick together. Zack had left anyway. And now he could be hurt, or worse. What was that idiot thinking? He wouldn't get far, not on that lame leg of his. Cloud tried not to think about Zack's reasons for such reckless, impulsive action. He tried not to think about Zack at all.

The members absent from the fire, therefore, were Zack, Reno, Shera, who had also gone to sleep early, and Rude, who everyone knew was out drinking by himself. Cloud inwardly regretted ever having let him near that pub in Nibelheim. He only hoped that Rude would run out of alcohol and turn to a healthier way of dealing with things. 

Looking around their lopsided circle, it suddenly struck him how pitiful they were, how lost and hopeless. How-

_No. We will win, _he thought angrily. 

The voice laughed. _–I am toying with you, my puppet. I can crush you all right now, if I choose. I could infect each of you, any time I desire.-_

He tuned the voice out. He had to be the strong one. Jenova didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered except finding Tifa.

"It's none of your business," Elena snapped. Cloud half-turned to see who she was talking to.

Cid shrugged, blowing a cloud of smoke in the air. "You don't hafta be so touchy. I was just wonderin' when Rude would remember his friends, that's all." 

__

Elena's lips were white. "You shut up," she said viciously. "You can't judge him. Rude handles things in his own way-"

"How? How does he 'handle things' by leaving you and Reno alone while he goes off and gets wasted? Right when you need him most?" 

She slapped him across the face, sending the cigarette flying. Cid stared, then slowly touched the red mark on his face, wincing. Elena was breathing hard.

"Don't you dare talk that way about him!" she hissed. "Don't you _dare_!"

Cid stared a second more, then started up. "Dammit, girl-"

"Sit down, Cid," Cloud said quietly. "She's tense. We all are." 

Cid's hands were clenched, and for a moment it seemed he would ignore Cloud and strike Elena anyway, but after a moment he slowly sank back down. Icy silence settled upon them all, until Elena made things worse.

"You're one to talk about relationships," she said in a low voice. "After the way you've always treated Shera, you only change your attitude when she starts sleeping with you-"

"Shut up, Elena!" Cloud got to his feet, in case he would need to get between them, but there was no need. Cid's eyes were cold.

"You Turks are so fucked up. You're more trouble than you're worth," he spat. "We've got a psychotic bitch with an attitude problem, an idiot drunk who hides out in self-pity, and an asshole slowing us up and toying with Aeris-"

"You want to talk about trouble?!" Elena yelled. "Who bailed you out on the airship? Would you even be here if it weren't for us? We're the ones keeping you _out_ of trouble!" 

"Only because you bring trouble with you!"

"That's it!" Elena jumped to her feet. "I don't have to put up with this!" She started to stalk away, but Cloud caught her arm. 

"Elena, don't. Cid doesn't mean anything. He's upset, same as-"

She yanked her arm away. "Shut up!" she cried, voice shrill. "Yes, he does mean it. You all mean it! If you don't want us around, we'll go. I thought we were friends, but I guess some people can't leave the past alone."

"Wait!" He grabbed her again. "Don't go off alone, it's dangerous."

She shoved him back. "I'm going to find Rude. Turks stick together." There was a sob in her voice as she ran out into the darkness.

Cloud rubbed his temples. "Cid," he said wearily, "Why did you have to do that?" 

Cid shook his head and looked away. "I was angry. But –shit! She got me so pissed off." He lit another cigarette, then said, "I'm…I'm gonna go cool off." He stamped away. 

Cloud let out a breath. How could they all face Jenova like this? Squabbling amongst themselves would only add to the tension, making it worse for everyone. Right when they need each other the most. They had to stick together! 

He glanced over to the others and saw Aeris sitting alone, looking about to cry. Recalling what Cid had said, he quickly sat by her and patted her hand.

"Forget it, Aeris," he said. "None of us think-" 

She looked at the ground. "It's not like Cid. Of course, it's nothing. But, Reno's holding up well. He's anything but slowing us down…" She was steadfastly ignoring the other part of Cid's remarks.

"Aeris, if you're upset…"

She took her hand back. "I'm sorry, Cloud, could this wait? I really would like to see Reno. He might…he might need something…" She hurried off.

Cloud stared after her, then sighed. "Well? Anyone else want to leave?"

No one said anything. On the other side of the fire, Marlene, amazingly, was asleep in Barret's arms. It struck him as comforting, that a child could fall into the sweet bliss of sleep in such horrible days.

Cloud coughed uncomfortably, knowing the others had seen the whole drama. Yuffie, in fact, had eyes the size of saucers. 

"Wow!" she breathed. "You sure are no mediator, Cloud." 

He gave her a sour look. "And you could do better?"

She brushed that one off, scooting forward on the log she was sitting. "I didn't even know Cid could be pushed that far! I didn't expect Elena to live, did you?"

Nanaki stretched like an oversized cat, yawning, "I doubt anyone else finds this amusing, Yuffie. Couldn't you see the hurt in her eyes?"

She flushed. "Cid'll come around," she protested. "And she'll forget about it. I don't seriously think the Turks'll leave."

"No," Nanaki agreed. "But discord can weaken us. We need all the strength we can get in this next battle."

Cloud started. Something had just occurred to him. 

__

-I am toying with you…-

"You guys," he said suddenly, head snapping up. "You don't think it's just us, do you?"

Vincent, who sat as far from the fire as he could get without alienating himself completely, raised his eyes. "What are you saying?"

"Jenova's influencing us! She's messing with our heads, toying with us, making us fight amongst ourselves. She could have been trying –or succeeding –to control us from the start. We can't know for sure, but doesn't it strike you as odd how snappish we've all been?" He jumped up. "How we just let Sufur get away? How we've fallen into a trap we should have seen through?"

"No way," Yuffie argued. "We control ourselves-"

"Do we?" Cloud countered. "How do you know? Remember your father?" He didn't want to bring it up, but he had to. "How he just wasn't himself –a pitiful wretch, blaming himself for Wutai –until you snapped him out of it?"

Yuffie's face darkened. She set her jaw and said nothing. Barret glanced at her and said doubtfully, "That's pretty damn far-fetched, Cloud."

"But it makes sense! Maybe that's why we haven't been acting ourselves!"

For some reason, everyone fell silent at this. Cloud only had a few seconds to wonder before Vincent said softly, "You seem to know an awful lot about Jenova, Cloud. Of course, when it comes to acting strangely…" He trailed off.

Cloud flushed a dusky red. "All right," he said, his voice sounding strangled in his own ears. "All right, I know what you're all thinking." The words caught in his throat, but he pushed them past. "Think what you want. Maybe it's true. Maybe I know something you don't. Maybe it's true that I'm in league-"

"Nobody's saying that, Cloud," Yuffie said hastily, once she realized none of the others were about to speak. "It's just that…maybe you're right, we're all tired-"

"Yet Cloud was in an uncharacteristically optimistic mood today," Vincent remarked caustically.

Cloud finally snapped. He took a step closer to the raven-haired man, hands balled into fists. "Are you accusing-"

"I am accusing you of nothing," Vincent said smoothly. "Simply making an observation."

"Well, your 'observations' aren't helping matters any," Yuffie snapped. "I don't care, I'll follow Cloud anyway. At least he isn't totally impervious to people's feelings!" 

Cloud blinked, wondering why she was defending him. For once, Vincent forgot himself and rose his voice.

"Your youth blinds you, Yuffie," he snarled. "Does it not strike you as perfectly plausible that Jenova's reawakening may affect more than Wutai? If you would rise up out of self-pity, you may be able to see what's right in front of you!"  
"You're one to talk about self-pity." Yuffie's eyes were black slits. "Oh, do enlighten me, great one. What _is_ right in front of me?"

Frustrated, Vincent waved his metal claw at Cloud. "You're forgetting what may be the most important factor of all. When was the last time Cloud acted the way he has recently?"

The truth struck Cloud then. His mouth went dry. "Vincent," he said hoarsely. "You're not talking about-"

"The last time Jenova was loose," Yuffie said softly. "And, Sephiroth. Whenever either was near you…"

"You forget," Vincent said, more calmly than before. "Cloud was in SOLDIER, or tried to be. He was Hojo's guinea pig. He was injected with Jenova cells."

Yuffie's dark eyes turned on him, along with Vincent's red stare. "Is it true?" the young ninja whispered. "Cloud…is there something you're not telling us?"

Cloud's mouth flapped; he couldn't seem to force the words out, this time. Everyone was staring at him expectantly. Yuffie with shock, Red with mute sympathy, Barret with a mixture of each, Vincent with no emotion whatsoever. Cloud tried to look away but couldn't.

Elena chose that moment to return, materializing out of the darkness like a wraith. At any other time, she would have immediately noticed the tension, but her face was red and blotchy, and she kept scrubbing at her eyes. She collapsed on the same log she'd been sitting on before, not looking at anyone else. 

Cloud sat back down. He didn't remember standing up. Making an effort to sound normal, he said, "What did Rude have to say, Elena?"

Her glare was like a dagger to his throat. "Shut up." She turned back to the dying fire and said nothing else.

Cloud looked back at the flames himself, searching among the embers for an answer.

It was only after everyone else had left and the flames had died to ashes that he realized there wasn't one. 

******

Rude returned to the tent he shared with Reno cautiously, glancing about for Elena. He half-hoped he would see her, half-hoped he wouldn't. It was rare that he would lose his temper with the female Turk, but tonight he'd been the worse for tension, worry and alcohol. He already regretted his harsh words to her, but he was in no shape to apologize tonight. He wasn't outright drunk –Rude was hardly ever drunk –but he was finding it increasingly difficult to see straight.

So it was he tripped over his partner's legs in the dark. "Sorry," he grunted. Receiving silence, rather than the caustic curse he expected, Rude frowned and peered down at the still form. "Reno?"

A dim lantern illuminated Reno's ghastly white face, his lips drawn back in a snarl, or a grimace of fear. His eyes were closed, his breathing deep, if not regular. He was asleep, yet murmuring things too low for Rude to understand.

Troubled, Rude shook Reno's shoulder. All the time he'd known him, Rude had never known his friend to talk in his sleep. "Reno! Wake up!"

"-blood," Reno muttered, stirring restlessly. "Blood everywhere. Blood on the floor, the curtains…the walls, the tables and chairs-"

"C'mon, Reno." Rude raised his voice. "You're dreaming!"

"…Not a dream." Reno didn't seem to be waking, despite Rude's efforts. He let out a rasping laugh. "Hell, I'd love it if it was a dream! But dreams aren't real. In dreams, the blood isn't all over your fingers, crusting under your nails-"

Desperate, Rude slapped his friend across the face as hard as he could. The blow had no effect on Reno, though, and certainly didn't wake him. 

"And she's dead," Reno whispered. "I didn't mean to kill her. I didn't _want _to kill her. There was too much blood, I couldn't see…" His fingers wrapped around Rude's wrist. "I didn't mean to!"

Rude pulled away, as close to frightened as he'd ever been. "Shit," he said aloud. It was starting. The Sresla was already poisoning Reno's mind. "Shit!" He threw open the tent flap and ran right into Aeris.

So disturbed was Rude he forgot to apologize, though he did help her up. "Aeris," he said shakily. "It's Reno. He's-"

She didn't wait to hear more, but pushed past him to kneel beside the Turk. "Reno!" 

"-inside my head, I can't get her voice out of my head!" 

Aeris took his face between her hands, resisting his thrashing attempts to pull away. "Reno," she said, in a voice as calm and serene as a pool of water, "wake up. Fight it, and come back."

Slowly Reno's eyes opened. He was trembling, Rude saw. But his shaking eased as his eyes fixed on her green ones, and he reached up a tremulous hand to grasp hers. "Aeris." His voice cracked. "I saw…I saw…"

She smoothed back his red hair the way a mother would, though Rude could see pain and anguish on her face. "Sh," she said softly. "It's all right, Reno. We'll get through this. We must." She choked a little on her last words, but held back the tears she might have shed.

Knowing Reno wouldn't thank him for seeing him like this, Rude left quietly. It was not like him to intrude on an obviously private moment, and anyway, a walk would clear his head. He started down the mountain path, walking more unsteadily than before, although he now felt perfectly sober. As always, he walked alone.

****

Hah! I bet you thought it'd be another century before I got another chapter up! Yup, I showed you guys. Since we're at a kinda tense um, section, the chapters will be coming quicker now. *glances above self* Ack, gonna have to write a romantic scene soon. That's gonna be so incredibly HARD. *pause* 'Course, reviews help me think……

~Lila 


	27. Through the Pale Door

Chapter 26-

Through the Pale Door

"I look to the sea

Reflections in the waves spark my memory

Some happy, some sad

I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had."

~Come Sail Away, Styx

"We should be heading out."

"You guys go ahead." The voice was Aeris'. Reno wasn't even fully awake and he recognized it. "We'll catch up."

"I don't like leaving you behind." The other voice –was it Cloud's? –sounded hesitant. "We should all stay together." 

Reno stifled a groan and tried his best to stay asleep, but Cloud's deep voice was annoying, forcing him awake. In stark contrast, Aeris' was soothing, calming. Although she didn't sound so calm now.

"Don't you wake him, Cloud!" There was a rustle from somewhere outside the tent, as though someone was trying to open the flap. "I mean it! Let him sleep!" 

The rustles stopped. Reno sighed and tried to slip back into blissful oblivion. Then Cloud spoke again.

"Aeris," he said slowly, "Rude told me what happened. Do you understand any of it?"

He heard her sigh wearily. "I'm sorry, Cloud. This…this really isn't anything I've ever dealt with before. I know some things, but it's all instincts, emotions. And lately it's all getting harder to understand." 

Of course, Reno thought hazily. She's only half-Cetra, and therefore half-human, Cloud, you dolt. 

__

"Tell me what you know," the mercenary persisted.

"Okay." Aeris paused to gather her thoughts, then said, "You remember how I told you the Sresla affects different people in different ways?"

_That _woke him up. The remembrance of that _thing _on his hand was enough to send him bolting upright. He held it up in front of his face, half-hoping it might have somehow disappeared. Of course it was still there, still blood-red. He knew; he had blood to compare it to. Deep scratches marred the back of his hand, as though he'd tried to claw the insignia off. He didn't remember doing that. 

Outside the tent, Aeris continued. "Reno's different because of his strong spirit. He can fight it with all the weapons he possesses, and keep it at bay. But there is one place where he's defenseless.

"His dreams," Cloud murmured. 

"Exactly. Memories, feelings he's blocked out come to surface in his sleep, when he's weakest. His spirit is struggling against Jenova, and if he breaks for even a moment, he could be overpowered. That is why it's difficult, even dangerous, to wake him."

Memories…Reno clenched his jaw. Memories of things he'd done as a Turk, memories of things he'd thought he'd forgotten. How could he have forgotten all that blood…?

And things he hadn't done. Or things he hadn't known he'd done. Or…things he would do in the future. At any rate, they were all things he was capable of doing, and that alone was enough to make him sick.

"'Dangerous'?" Cloud repeated. "Is that why you won't let me in there?"

Aeris hesitated. "…No. He's fine now. I just think he needs rest."

Fine? He was not fine! He would never be fine.

"It's you, isn't it, Aeris?" Cloud said. "Rude mentioned only you could wake him." 

"I don't know." She sounded helpless. "But…I think I can keep the nightmares away."

She could, couldn't she. He had never thought of that. He wondered why, then shrugged. It didn't matter. He still decided not to sleep again for….for as long as it took.

He threw on a shirt and climbed out of the tent. Cloud and Aeris were barely two feet away, staring at him as though he had no right to be awake. Reno pasted on a grin, though he was sure Aeris, at least, would see right through it.

"Beautiful day, isn't it?" The sky was grey and overcast, but realizing he would die soon gave him new appreciation for the world. "You go ahead and take down the tent, Cloud. Aeris, let's walk."

Looking partly astonished, but resigned, Cloud shrugged and set to his task. Aeris followed Reno down the mountain path. The others, busy packing up, would look up as he passed, then quickly look away. Reno resisted the urge to inform them that it wasn't contagious, because he didn't know that for sure.

"Where are we going?" Aeris asked, keeping pace with him.

"Not far. I need to ask you something."

Aeris stopped. "Well, ask."

Reno glanced behind them. They were far enough away. No one could hear them. "Look, Aeris, I need a favor in case…in case I don't make it."

"You'll make it," she said firmly. "Don't say anything like that, ever. You'll make it."

He shook his head. "Just in case. Please, Aeris? I can't ask anyone else."

"What kind of favor?" She sounded apprehensive.

He looked at the ground, suddenly at a loss for words. He hadn't expected this to be easy, but it was still more difficult than he'd imagined. "…I don't have much to worry about, after I'm gone. I mean, other than the fate of the world. I don't have any important possessions, besides a few weapons. I don't have a home. So all I really need to worry about are people."

Aeris' breath caught in her throat. He was so…so resigned to his fate, as though he had already given up. There had been a time when she, too, had given up her life for something…someone…else. But hers had been a sacrifice. Reno wasn't sacrificing himself; he did not choose to die. Or did he? Suddenly she wondered.

"Rude and Elena should be all right," he continued, still not looking at her. "Especially if you guys take care of them. Will you do that? They're…they're my best friends, you see."

She could not speak, so she nodded. She nodded, although inside she was screaming, _What about me? Who will take care of me when you're gone? _She had never thought she would need someone to look after her, but she had a sudden vision of herself, alone, when Reno had left her. She couldn't even begin to imagine how she would survive. 

She wanted very badly to tell him all of that, to throw herself into his arms and scream that she could not live without him. But he looked so…so lost, so burdened. Reno, burdened? He had always been such a carefree soul. But they had all changed. Aeris composed herself, unwilling to burden Reno with her own feelings. Reno had enough to deal with. 

Then he looked up into her face, and Aeris had to bite her lip to keep from crying. His eyes, his beautiful aquamarine eyes, were filled with a sadness and regret too deep for words.

"Know what I'm afraid of?" he whispered. "It's not death. It's not whatever happens to the world –I don't even give a shit about the world anymore! I'm afraid that I'll die, and everyone will be unhappy for a while. Then they'll recover, and pretty soon they'll forget I ever existed. I don't want to be forgotten, Aeris."

She shook her head. "Don't. We'll never-"

"Do you remember Heantha?" he countered, not even letting her finish. 

Again, Aeris nodded slowly. Heantha had been his late wife.

"I don't." He swallowed, visibly trying to stay calm. "Or, I barely do. I don't think about her at all anymore. Because there are other things to worry about, other people to-"

"But you've made your peace with her," she interrupted. "We all have a purpose for living, she served hers. Her death had no bitterness."

"Maybe not for her!" Reno snapped. Abruptly he was angry. "All I know is, I was pretty bitter when she died! In case you don't remember, that is the only period of my life I don't talk about. I did some things I'd rather forget. And I do forget some of them. Just like I forgot _her_!" He spat the last word like a curse. Aeris backed away, but he advanced on her, holding up his left hand with the Sresla.

"_This _is a reminder of everything I've forgotten! Yes, Aeris. Being with you made me forget some things, like spending every night alone, drinking until I passed out. You made me forget the pointless bloodshed, the inexhaustible search to find those that killed her. You made me forget waking up every day with a stronger desire to destroy every single living thing on the Planet- especially myself!" His face was contorted with anger and pain. "Isn't it amazing the things we forget, Aeris?" This last was bitter, sarcastic- all of his raw hatred and grief delivered as a lashing blow. 

Silence. Reno slowly dropped his arm, realizing how angry he'd been. At her? No, never. At himself.

She looked back at him, and there was something like fear in her eyes. Fear of him, or fear for him?

"Say what you will, Reno," she said with quiet dignity, "but I could never forget you." Then she added softly, "I know it's hard, but you must try to trust me."

He blinked, caught off guard. What an odd thing for her to say.

Cloud suddenly appeared at the top of the rise and jogged toward them. "You two ready to leave?" he said with false cheerfulness.

"Yes," Aeris answered, shooting Reno a sympathetic look. Cloud nodded, patted her on the shoulder, and led the way back. 

As they followed their leader, Reno tried to imagine Aeris grieving for a time, then finding solace in someone else. Cloud, perhaps- they'd had something going on before Reno's arrival. He tried to imagine Aeris kissing Cloud on their wedding day, their love sealed and complete.

Perhaps it was not surprising he then entertained the idea of punching Strife in the mouth. 

******

The reactor was just as she remembered it- huge and imposing, making her feel small, trifling. She wanted to turn around and run back the way she had come. But it had to end. She had to make it end. 

"No," Sufur said, as though reading her thoughts. "It will not end here, Tifa."

She missed a step. "Then why-?" 

Sufur merely shrugged. 

"You'll see," was all he said.

He started up the ramp to the entrance, walking with purpose, confidence. As he started to push open the heavy doors he realized she hadn't moved. "Tifa?"

Still standing at the bottom of the ramp, Tifa had her arms folded, her dark eyes glaring at him with hatred. He sighed, knowing another tirade was about to come on.

"I," she said in a low voice, "am sick and tired of you dragging me around on a leash, promising me a treat for my good behavior, hurting everyone I love. I don't _care_ what your reasons are!" she snarled as he started to speak. "Your reasons are selfish, however you twist the words around."

"What is your point?" he said patiently. More patiently than he felt; everything was beginning to come together, now, and she was wasting his time. The whiny little bitch wasn't even grateful he was letting her live.

"I refuse to go in there unless you tell me what is going on."

Sufur raised an eyebrow. _She_ was the one making demands? Her nerve astounded him. Was she arrogant, or just naïve? Didn't she realize he could kill her without a moment's compunction…?

"If you were going to kill me," she pointed out, "you would have already. So don't think to threaten me."

She was right, and that annoyed him. Flicking back the catch on his gun so she would know he might yet change his mind, he asked, "Do you remember when you met me? The Shinra building, when you were searching for clues about the Sresla?"

She was taken aback. "Yes," she replied after a moment. "What about it?"

Why _hadn't _he killed her yet? She was an annoyance, more trouble than she was worth, yet he dragged her along as some temporary hostage. Jenova's orders were unclear; at the moment the alien couldn't care less for Tifa Lockheart. Of course, she was amusing at times, and fair to look upon. And she might yet be useful. That Zack…with her, Zack could be easily manipulated. If, of course, the man still lived. Sufur shook his head and answered Tifa's question.

"The Shinra building operated on mako. When the reactors in Midgar were shut down" –his lip curled at this- "everything operating on mako stopped. Yet the Shinra building was still active, or parts of it were, at least. Did you ever wonder why?"

Tifa shrugged. "We figured there was a backup power source. It wasn't foremost in our minds, if I recall."

Sufur snorted. "You figured wrong. There's another reactor operating."

"What?!" Tifa started. "All of the reactors were shut down!" She looked suspicious. "It makes sense, though. How do you know this?"

Instead of answering, Sufur fixed his piercing blue eyes on her. "Do you ever wish you could go back to what was?"

Memories flooded Tifa's mind. Childhood days in Nibelheim, before Cloud had left. She could have been happy with him, she thought. But…that had all changed. Zack was part of that, but there was more to it. She had become someone else, someone stronger than the lovesick girl she'd been, stronger even than the grown woman who had struggled against Shinra. She had grown beyond Cloud and Nibelheim, much as it hurt her to admit it, and even though there were times when she yearned for lost innocence, the present called to her, needed her. She could not go to what was. She had to move forward and make the best of what _is_.

"Sometimes," she said quietly. "But there's no point in second-guessing what might have been. The future is all we have, and I intend to be a part of it."

"I agree." He wasn't looking at her anymore, but somewhere else, perhaps within himself. His free hand was clenched. "If we persevere, there is a place waiting for us. I believe in doing what I must, to make my way to that place. Even if it means destroying you, and your friends as well. You understand?" 

She would have called him mad before, but this…she had never seen a person so coldly determined to take what he believed was his, no matter how many others he must crush in the process. His selfishness sickened her. "No!" she muttered angrily, turning away. "I don't understand, and I hope I never do!"  
To her fury, she heard him give a low chuckle. "You will, yet. But first, the reactor. Follow me." He led the way inside, not looking back.

Her eyes narrowed. "Before you die, you will see the price of your selfishness," she vowed. "I will see to that." Dark hair whipping behind her, she stalked after him.

The reactor's interior was also unchanged. A metal chain led down to the lower floor, but first she had to cross a narrow gangplank about three feet across. Tifa didn't know why Shinra had made this reactor so hazardous to get into. She had fallen, the first time she had been in here. The sight of her father, lying in a pool of blood almost directly below her, had been more than enough to make her lose her balance. Her eyes wanted to stray to that spot by the doorway, but she forced them to watch her own feet. While she had survived that twenty-foot drop when she was fifteen, she wasn't interested in risking it again.

She reached the chain and grabbed it with both hands, giving an experimental yank. It held, as she'd known it would. She glanced down and saw Sufur waiting impatiently, though he looked around as though apprehensive as well.

She had no way of knowing Sufur had no real idea what to expect, now that he was here. Jenova had told him nothing more than to come, with the girl or not. Just to make sure AVALANCHE followed. 

And they would. Of that he had no doubt. 

Tifa slid down the chain. Her face was white, her jaw clenched. "Let's get going," she whispered tersely. Sufur took a moment to observe her obvious discomfiture, and to debate the reason for it. Obviously something terrible had happened to her or someone she loved here.

"Why are you staring at me?" she snapped.

"To see if you are capable of proceeding," he said coldly. "I won't have you fainting now. Perhaps you should go outside for a breath of fresh air."

She raised a fist, and for a moment he was sure she was going to strike him, but after a moment she lowered it and spoke in a quiet tone. "I'm fine."

"Good." He started for the doorway to the next room. Tifa followed more slowly. Glancing back, he was surprised to see her eyes were tightly closed, maybe to prevent herself from seeing something she didn't wish to. She kept them closed until they passed through the doorway. He wondered, but did not ask; he had more important things to deal with.

They were in a slightly larger room than the one they had left, although dozens of large pods took up enough space to make it seem smaller. The pods contained vicious monsters- humans, actually, mutated and distorted by mako- that had in fact been more of Professor Hojo's twisted experiments. (Hojo was lucky he was already dead. That was the way Sufur felt, anyway.) The monsters would attack any trespassers and feed on their flesh if they could, but each was suspended in mako and, while not dead, in such deep sleep they may as well be. Even so, Sufur imagined he could hear them breathing. He shuddered and looked around for Tifa.

She was staring at a spot in front of the pods, near the base of the room's one staircase, rubbing her arms. He followed her gaze and saw, barely visible against the reddish floor, a faded bloodstain. Judging by the size of it, somebody had to have been hurt badly, maybe killed, here. Sufur again wondered what she knew. Hojo had hid much. Too much.

"Tifa," he said cautiously, not wanting to startle her. She was too skittish as it was, and in her current state would probably bolt if she felt threatened, like a frightened rabbit. It seemed strange to think of Tifa Lockheart frightened, but there it was. "Tifa, listen to me."

Her head came up slowly, as though the bloodstain had her hypnotized. "What is it?" she said curtly, her sharp tone belaying the impression.

He gestured up the stairs, to the door marked J-E-N-O-V-A. "I'm going up there. You stay here." He half-expected her to argue, but she merely shrugged, as if it didn't matter.

Why was she so calm, yet so tense? But it didn't make any difference; if her memories and fear kept her quiet, so much the better. He fingered the pendant at his throat and started up the stairs. The shotgun on his side still had the safety off. He had left it that way on purpose, and not as a means of threatening Tifa- he had no intention of killing her anyhow. He reached the door and realized he'd have to let go of his gun to touch the door and hold the pendant at the same time. Grimacing, he set the weapon down and placed a hand on the door. 

Down below, Tifa stared at the spot where she had nearly bled to death. Cloud had come- he and Zack had both come. Zack hadn't known her then, but she supposed the sight of a fifteen-year old girl sliced open had been enough to convince him Sephiroth had to be stopped. Ever the noble spirit, Zack had rushed into that upper room after the warrior…and almost immediately come flying back out. Back then, Sephiroth's strength and power had been more than any of them could handle. Zack, too, had nearly died that day. 

Then Cloud came. He did not immediately rush after Sephiroth; first, he had moved Tifa to a safer spot as carefully as he could. It was a sweet gesture, if not very wise; moving her might well have killed her. She had thought she loved him, then.

But everything had changed. Perhaps the attentions of a certain caring SOLDIER had pushed her over the edge. Her bond with Cloud, already porous from years of suppressed sorrow, couldn't bear up to this last dent in its brittle armor, the promise of something more sweet, less shrouded in anguish, half-truths.

Zack. She hoped he was all right. She had done the best she could for him. Though she wished she could have stayed with him, Sufur's shotgun gave her no choice. 

She had gone with Sufur, to see this through. And yet she couldn't shake a feeling of dread, as though something terrible was about to happen here, in this reactor. Again.

_Stay away, Zack. You're already hurt. Please don't come after me anymore. _

Yet he would. She knew, in her heart, that he would. And while it gladdened her heart to know he loved her, it also made her afraid for him. For all her friends, but especially for him.

But if she was so certain he was still coming, then he had to be all right. She clung to that--that precious sliver of hope piercing through the reactor's noxious fog.

The air was to be so thick she could hardly breathe. Why were they here? She wasn't half-Cetra, and couldn't sense the things Aeris could, but she could feel the evil in this reactor, pulsing like the steady heartbeat of a great beast. She wanted to be far, far away, but her legs didn't seem to work. She opened her mouth to speak, to tell Sufur they had to leave, but at that moment the ground seemed to tremble.

Up above, Sufur pitched to the side, but maintained contact with the door. "I have come as you commanded," he shouted. "Let me pass!"

Suddenly everything went pitch-black. The steadily humming lights on the ceiling had gone out. Sufur reached out, but the door was gone. Everything was gone.

_All who would pass must first face the Trial…_

"Tifa?" he whispered tremulously, needing to hear another voice besides that awful sound in his head. It reminded him of fingernails on slate.

_All who would pass-_

"Shut up!" he cried raggedly.

_-must first face-_

"Tifa!"

_-their own fears…_

The darkness parted for a moment, and he thought he could almost see a light…

And then he was falling into blackness. Desperately he lashed out, trying to clutch at something, anything, but there was nothing. No one. 

****

~Author's Note~

Hey, it's Lila. Sorry about the wait, I've been swamped between school and work. Hopefully I'll have more out before Christmas. And I have not given up on Wasted. The next chapter's just going through….revamping. Major revamping. Should be up soon! 

~Lila


	28. The Living Nightmare

Chapter 27-  
The Living Nightmare  
  
"I watch the sun go down like every one of us   
I'm hoping that the dawn will bring a sign   
A better place for those who will come after us ...   
This time…"  
~Dreamer, Ozzy Osbourne  
  
  
The same sense of dread and urgency Tifa felt so strongly was also   
present in Zack's mind, pushing him onward even though his aching leg   
screamed for rest. He could have used the Restore materia he'd found tucked   
into his hand when he awoke, but he'd already used it once, and to overuse it   
would cost him energy he didn't have to spare. The effects of the materia were   
helpful while they lasted, but after a time the pain returned, worse than before. It   
had been more useful for recovering from the brunt of his fall than for his more   
serious injuries.  
He wondered how the others were and felt a flash of guilt for just taking off   
without a word. He knew they'd be worried, and likely angry as well. Well, maybe   
Cloud could do without his company, but Reno was surely steaming.  
In fact, Reno probably thought Zack had left because the single warrior   
could move faster when not weighed down by a group- a group slowed by a sick   
Turk. Of course that wasn't the reason, but Reno had his faults, and one of them   
was a tendency to assume that people's fool-headed actions could have been   
halted by him, and events and decisions revolved around him. An apologetic   
smile momentary tugged at Zack's lips, but fell immediately when he thought of   
Tifa. She was still missing. And even if the redhead had suddenly appeared in   
front of him and demanded an explanation, Zack couldn't give him one. He   
couldn't explain it. All he knew was Tifa needed him, and he had to find her,   
without delay or interference.   
And if Sufur decided to cause interference of his own…Zack would deal   
with it. Any way he had to.  
******  
Not too far behind, Cloud's party also felt the same sense of urgency.   
They moved quickly and spoke little. Reno wasn't the only one bitter, angry, and   
–yes –afraid. Elena avoided Rude and Cid, who snapped at anyone who spoke   
to him, even (and perhaps especially) Shera. Whenever she got the chance,   
Yuffie glared daggers at Vincent, although he steadfastly ignored her, save to   
throw her the occasional look of contempt. Cloud walked in front with Rude, who   
was ideal company for someone who didn't want to talk. They pressed on,   
knowing, deep in their hearts, that time was running out.  
Reno was annoyed to discover his second flask was empty. That left only   
one for…how long would it be? He hadn't been looking forward to dying cold   
sober. Well, maybe it wouldn't be such a long time. Maybe the one flask would   
be enough.  
Aeris, walking in front of him, half-turned to look him in the eye- she   
sometimes seemed able to read his mind. He met her gaze squarely, daring her   
to say something. It wouldn't surprise him if she really could read his thoughts.  
She suddenly stumbled, not watching where she was going, and he   
jumped forward to catch her before she fell. As he steadied her, it occurred to   
him how close they were, how easy it would be to…  
She reached up and touched his face. If Reno was not skilled at hiding   
such things, he might have flushed- he hoped she couldn't read his thoughts at   
that moment. With an effort he forced himself to release her, telling himself now   
wasn't the time. It never was the time, and he knew it never would be the time.   
She had a life to live. He wouldn't let her pity make her do or say something she   
would consider a commitment. It didn't matter anyway, he would be leaving this   
life behind soon.  
Elena was walking by; she turned her head away quickly when he looked   
at her. She had obviously seen. He wondered why she didn't sniff loftily or order   
him to stop fooling around. Pity again. Why had he even bothered telling the   
others of the Sresla if they were going to alienate him?  
Well, too late now. He glanced up and saw Yuffie fall into step beside   
Aeris, chattering about how rude certain people –namely Vincent, though she   
wouldn't admit it- were being. Aeris even managed to look interested.  
Reno sighed, wishing he had said something to Aeris. That he was sorry,   
maybe. She was trying so hard, and he was an asshole, as always. After all, she   
had a lot more to worry about. In a little while, weeks or perhaps days, all of his   
problems would be over. But he wasn't good with apologies, never was. The best   
strategy, in his mind, was to pretend nothing had ever happened. Apologies just   
brought up fresh pain and made everyone uncomfortable.   
He reached inside a coat pocket and found the last bottle of booze. He   
drank as he walked, knowing the others thought him pathetic and not caring.  
He wished he'd told her he loved her.   
******  
Tifa opened her eyes. She was outside again, in the middle of the   
mountains with the reactor nowhere in sight. She was alone once more.  
She dimly remembered everything going dark, the room seeming to tilt.   
She had fallen forward to land on her hands and knees, then screamed. Sticky   
wetness was suddenly under her palms, as though the bloodstain on the floor   
was as fresh as when it had been first spilt. Up above, she could hear Sufur   
shouting something, but she couldn't make it out. Then he shrieked, a pained,   
tormented cry of anguish that forced her to her feet. She'd somehow made it up   
the steps, but the room tilted again, and she'd gone flying through the open   
doorway.  
She lifted her hands to her face, but saw no blood. It had to have been her   
imagination.  
But what had happened? That doorway didn't lead back outside…and she   
certainly wasn't anywhere near the reactor. And where was Sufur? Was he   
dead? She had to say, the idea didn't traumatize her, but that one scream of his   
stayed in her head, and she couldn't get it out.  
She sighed and got up. If he was dead, she didn't really care. But if he   
was lying alone somewhere, helpless and bleeding….God, like when Sephiroth   
had stabbed her…  
She shoved it from her mind. "Sufur!" she shouted, cupping her hands   
around her mouth. The sound echoed around the mountains, but she heard no   
answering call.  
She tried again, with the same result. Tifa hesitated, then started down   
one of the mountain paths. Standing around wouldn't do any good, and she could   
think while walking.  
Something was wrong. She wasn't sure what, but it tickled in the back of   
her mind. It was annoying, but she just couldn't place it. Everything looked   
normal, if slightly blurred and out of focus. It was like looking through thick, dirty   
glass. She kept rubbing her eyes to clear them.  
Tifa walked for a long time, still shouting Sufur's name once in a while.   
Surprisingly enough, the air wasn't as chill as it should have been; in fact it was   
almost too warm. Tifa grimaced and wished she had her Premium Heart with her.   
The clawed glove was with Cloud and the others, packed in a bag. Of course,   
she could still cause a great deal of damage with her fists alone. Hopefully she   
wouldn't need to do any fighting, but this place was setting her on edge.  
This place? Tifa stopped and looked around, but nothing she saw told her   
the dark, forbidding mountains were anywhere but home. Still, she had the vague   
suspicion that she was somewhere totally unfamiliar.   
Just then, she caught sight of someone walking ahead of her. Tifa strained   
to see, but the person ahead was walking too fast and disappeared over the next   
rise. Tifa hesitated, then broke into a run.  
"Hey!" she called to the person. For some reason, she was sure it wasn't   
Sufur. "Wait!"  
The person ahead did not seem to hear. Even though he or she was   
walking, the person still seemed to stay far enough ahead that Tifa couldn't catch   
more than a glimpse. "Wait!"  
The person- a girl, Tifa realized, definitely not Sufur- glanced behind and   
motioned irritably for her to hurry. Out of breath, Tifa pushed her legs faster-  
-and ran right off the edge of a cliff. Tifa scrabbled for a hold, but her legs   
were tangled in blue muslin…a dress? How was she wearing a dress? The   
muslin tore on a jagged piece of rock, and her hands loosed. She fell.  
The impact knocked the wind out of her. Struggling for breath, Tifa   
managed to sit up and examine her clothes. She was wearing a soft muslin dress   
of sky blue. Tifa smiled, remembering. This dress had always been her favorite,   
at least until the day she ruined it…on the day Mom died.  
She paled and jumped to her feet. Quickly she looked at her hands. Her   
soft, white, small hands. Tifa had started training with Zangan after her fall in the   
mountains. She had needed to become strong, to show Papa that she was ready   
to go back and learn the trails.  
"No," she murmured aloud. "No!" Her voice came out as a child's squeak.  
She looked down and saw a small boy at her feet. Dressed in a white shirt   
and blue trousers, he had spiky golden hair and looked remarkably like…  
"Cloud!" She bent down to turn him over. His face, his little boy's face, was   
grainy and white. He did not respond to her repeated shaking and calls. "Cloud,   
wake up!"  
Her heart felt as though it would rip in two. Here was not the cold, dutiful   
leader he'd grown up to be, but the sweet little boy she'd been in love with. Why   
was he hurt? She'd been the one to get hurt, not him. Not him! "Cloud, I'm sorry,"   
she whispered helplessly. He didn't have a pulse, but he couldn't be dead. She   
hadn't died, so he couldn't. "Cloud, I'm so sorry. I forgot what it was like. I forgot   
about my dear friend."   
Tears welled up in her eyes. She had abandoned him when he needed   
her most. He hadn't needed her to love him, just to be there for him. Why hadn't   
she seen that? Was it too late…?   
But... she had stood by him, hadn't she? Why couldn't she recall anything   
all of a sudden...  
"This isn't real," she told herself, forcing the tears back whence they came.   
"I am not a little girl anymore. It's an illusion. Cloud's alive, and he's grown up   
too. It's not real!"   
A cold wind blew, slicing through the torn rag she now wore for a dress.   
Tifa clutched the skirt around herself with abrupt panic. She couldn't remember.   
How had she torn the dress the day Mom died? She remembered it being torn,   
but how had she done it? How…?  
"No!" She screamed. "It isn't real!" The wind blew grit and pebbled swirling   
in the air, stinging her face. She closed her eyes. "It isn't real! Let me go!"  
Not far away, Sufur was also wandering the mountains. At her shouts, he   
came running. It sounded like a child, the first human sound he'd heard for what   
had to be hours. What was a child doing in a desolate place like this?  
He rounded a turn and nearly slid off a cliff. Clutching a jagged rock for   
support, he managed to keep his feet, but it was close.  
"Let me go!"  
There, standing below, was the child, with her hands over her eyes and   
screaming at the top of her lungs. Sufur studied her for a moment; she seemed   
oddly familiar. Then he knew.  
"Tifa!" he called over the wind. "Tifa, think of something else! Think of the   
reactor! We're back at the reactor!"   
She didn't look up at him, but the scene around him shifted and lurched.   
Still clutching that rock, he managed to stay upright. That is, until full-grown Tifa   
Lockheart slammed bodily into him, knocking him over.  
"Did you have to do that?" he asked, picking himself up and dusting   
himself off.  
She glared, an adult woman once more. "If I had my way, you would have   
broken your neck." She looked up. "Well, here we are. Again."  
They were in front of the reactor once more. And yet it was different. Sufur   
tensed, realizing what this meant. "Be on your guard," he warned. "Wherever you   
brought us, we aren't back yet."  
"I thought of the reactor!" She sounded annoyed. "Like you said. I didn't   
think of anything…oh, no."  
"What?" he demanded. He didn't seem to hear.  
"Not again," she muttered. "I can't live that again." She shimmered and   
was gone from sight.   
"Tifa!" He leaped forward, but a blue-uniformed guard put out his hand and   
shook his head. Behind his mask, those blue eyes seemed oddly similar to…  
"Dammit!" he snarled. "Tifa!"  
She couldn't hear him. She couldn't hear anything. Rage for her father's   
loss filled her soul. The sword weighed her hands down, but she didn't seem to   
notice. "Sephiroth!" she growled. "Turn around and look at me!" The words felt   
wrong on her lips.  
Slowly he turned from the door marked J-E-N-O-V-A. "You are not as you   
were," he observed. "How have you managed this?"  
"Answer me! How could you do that to Papa and all the townspeople?"   
Those words felt right. She started up the stairs toward him. His green eyes   
flared surprise, then he smiled coldly.  
"So be it," he murmured. "It does not matter. You die now!" He wrestled   
the sword from her grasp and, in one fluid motion, cut back down. Pain spread   
through her, and she fell.  
I am fifteen again, she thought dully. All of this has already happened.   
Except it's different. I wonder what will happen if I die now?  
Sephiroth turned away, about to go through the opened door. Somehow   
she managed to call after him.  
"Sephiroth, you have turned from evil. Remember? We freed you from   
Jenova's control."  
He whirled on her, eyes green fire. "No one controls me!" he snapped.   
"And Jenova is my mother. She wouldn't do anything to me. She only wants to   
inherit the Planet with me! What's wrong with that?"  
She had forgotten how mad he was. "Jenova is not your mother. Your real   
mother's name is Lucrecia, and she loves you."  
"Liar!" He came back down the steps toward her. "I have no mother. I am   
a god!"   
"Does Jenova love you, Sephiroth?" She had no idea where the words   
were coming from. She seemed to be floating, drifting away… "If you fail, will   
Jenova be there for you?"  
He wavered, the sword point that had been aimed at her heart lowered.   
"I…I don't know." He stiffened again. "I don't care!"   
"Sephiroth…" Everything seemed distant. "I remember. You were crying   
when we killed you."  
He stared at her incredulously, but the sword lowered again. "You're…not   
lying. It…it seems like a long time ago. Or maybe a long time yet." He doubled   
over suddenly, the sword falling to the ground. "No…Mother, help me!"  
A woman in a purple gown with long, straight black hair appeared,   
stretching forth her hand.  
"Not you!" he snarled, face contorted with anger and hatred. "Never you!   
Mother!"  
The soft, gentle voice Tifa remembered whispered: "My son!"  
Sephiroth smiled and was gone. Tifa was alone once more.   
Dimly she wondered what she had just witnessed. Could she have gone   
back in time? It seemed doubtful. People and events were not as she   
remembered. Sephiroth was vulnerable to pain, something that had only   
happened immediately before his death. What was it Sufur had said? Think of   
something else. Did her thoughts control what happened in this world?  
The laceration on her chest burned like fire. I am healed, Tifa thought   
desperately. I am healed as if though this had never happened.  
Her chest still burned.  
It was then she felt cold fear. Wherever she was, she was alone, and she   
was dying. Somehow she had never thought she would die alone. Zack, she   
thought distantly. Zack, I need you with me…  
And then he was there. He came running in, looking about wildly. The   
Buster Sword was in his hands. His eyes fell on her, and he knelt beside her.  
"Where is Sephiroth?" he said urgently. "The door is closed, but he was   
here, wasn't he? Where did he go?"  
"He's…he's gone, Zack," she whispered. He looked different. Younger…   
"Zack? It is you, isn't it?"  
He looked confused, then looked down at her wound. "Shit! Don't try to   
talk…Tifa, wasn't it? You're delirious. Hang on. I'll get help-"  
She leaned back and closed her eyes. Of course. This Zack did not know   
her, at least beyond the young guide who'd led them through the mountains.   
He shook her gently. "Tifa. Tifa, don't fade away on me. You'll be okay, as   
long as I'm-"   
She reopened her eyes and smiled. "I love you."  
Taken aback, he could only gape for a moment. Then-  
"Tifa!" Cloud rushed in, clothed in his blue guard's uniform. He took one   
looked at the scene, and then his sword was in his hands. The Ultima Weapon.   
"Zack! How could you!"   
"Take it easy, Cloud." Zack slowly rose, his eyes on Cloud's weapon. "I   
didn't do anything to her. Sephiroth-"  
"Sephiroth's dead!" Cloud shifted to a defensive position. "I killed him!   
Don't lie to me, Zack!"  
Cloud…? What was he…? "No," Tifa whispered. "Oh no…Cloud, please..!"  
Neither man heard. Zack had his sword out, too. "She's hurt bad, Cloud.   
We need to get help."  
Cloud's eyes darted to her agonizingly. Tifa could almost feel his anguish.   
"Cloud," she tried to say, but her mouth didn't seem to be working.   
"After I finish you." The blond warrior raised his blade. "For what you've   
done to my hometown, to Tifa!" Uttering a wordless battle-cry, he rushed at Zack.   
The SOLDIER met the sword and parried, but made no offensive moves. Zack let   
Cloud come at him with ferocity, but was trying his best not to hurt his friend.  
"Stop!" Tifa managed to say. They ignored her. She raised her voice.   
"Stop!"  
Both men were about equal in skill, but the powerful Ultima Weapon was   
giving Cloud the upper hand. At last, he had Zack backed into a corner, with   
nowhere to go.  
"No!" Tifa's scream tore raggedly from her throat. "Please stop!"   
Zack hesitated, glancing over at her. It was then Cloud found the opening   
he needed, thrusting his weapon through his opponent's middle. Zack gasped,   
his face dead white.  
"You took everything from me." Cloud's voice shook. "My life, my past,   
Tifa. Everything. Well, no more!" He yanked his sword out. Zack collapsed in a   
heap on the floor.   
"Zack!" She wanted to run to him, but her bleeding, broken body would not   
obey. Only her voice seemed to work. "Zack! Oh, God!"   
Cloud slowly turned from the body to look at her. His face was a mask of   
evil, ironically twin to Sephiroth. "Oh, I see," he said softly. "You loved him, didn't   
you."  
She was crying, she realized. It's not real. It's not real!  
Cloud raised his sword. "Always him," he snarled. "Never me. First Aeris,   
now you. If you must be with him, I won't mind helping you!" He brought the   
blade down for the killing blow.   
The gunshot seemed to shatter everything, as though the world was   
tearing in half. Cloud fell, a gaping hole in his head. The sword clattered to the   
floor. Tifa was too shocked to even cry out.  
Sufur stepped into the room, calmly shouldering his gun. He looked at   
Cloud's body with disgust. "So that's what he's capable of," he murmured. "I   
might have known."  
Tifa couldn't seem to stop sobbing. Had it been real? How much of it?   
Zack…Cloud… What did he mean "capable of"?  
Sufur glanced at her, then was at her side, pressing his hands to the   
wound. They were immediately soaked in red, but he didn't remove them. "Fool   
girl," he grated. "I should let you die."  
Then why didn't he? She wanted to ask, but couldn't get her breath. Her   
voice had stopped working, like the rest of her body. She was still crying, but   
silently, now.  
Her tears appeared to annoy him. "Stop crying," he snapped impatiently.   
"It was your own fault. I don't know how we're going to heal this. You need an   
inn, and somewhere with materia."  
And suddenly she was in a warm bed, next to a window. People were   
laughing just outside. She looked around and recognized the inn as one in Costa   
del Sol. Of Sufur, there was no sign.  
She flung the covers aside and gasped. Her wound was healed, leaving   
only the jagged scar she had always had. She had to have been abed for   
months, for it to have healed like this.   
Her clothes were in a pile by the bed. She quickly pulled them on, noticing   
with relief they were the short black skirt and white top she always wore. No sign   
of a blue dress.  
She hurried outside, avoiding the proprietor. She had no wish to be   
dragged into conversation with the talkative owner. She just wanted to find Sufur.   
People lined the streets, mostly headed in the same direction. This was   
not unusual; Costa del Sol sometimes held festivals for the tourists. Tifa let   
herself be carried by the throng, always looking about for Sufur.  
The sun beat down on her, unbearably hot. She was already feeling   
lightheaded and weak; she knew she had not yet fully regained her strength. But   
she couldn't rest until she found him. He could tell her how to get back.  
Up ahead, the crowds were ringed around something in the street. A   
performer, most likely. Yet Tifa found herself standing up on tiptoes to see over   
the crowd.  
Inside the circle, a group of men -and even a few women- were beating   
and kicking at something on the ground. The crowd was cheering and cat-calling   
as though this was great sport. Tifa realized with horror that the thing they were   
beating on was a person!   
"Stop!" she shouted above the din. "Leave him alone!" Nobody paid her   
the slightest attention.   
Gritting her teeth, she shoved her way through, punching and kicking   
herself if need be, until she reached the group doing the beating. She grabbed   
one man and hauled him to the side. As she did so, she realized with a shock   
that it was Darryn, the man Reno spoke of. She didn't know how she knew him,   
having never seen the man, but she knew.   
No longer hesitating, Tifa threw herself into the fray. Some of the people   
she knew, some she did not. But finally she managed to reach Sufur, bruised and   
semi-conscious on the ground.   
"Go away!" she ordered the people. "Show's over. Now scram!" To her   
surprise, they did as she asked, though most cast her a resentful glance and   
muttered under their breath.  
Sufur stirred and groaned. She bent over him, checking to see how badly   
he was hurt. He didn't seem to be seriously injured. "Sufur?"  
His eyes fluttered and focused on her blearily. To her shock those blue   
depths were filled with fear. "It was not supposed to be like that," he muttered.   
"No one told me it was like that."  
"Sufur, it's me, Tifa."  
"Tifa." Recognition dawned, replacing the vulnerable look. He sat up. "It   
appears you're finally awake. I could not leave while you were in a coma,   
although I tried. It's been hell."  
"…Oh." She didn't bother asking why. "Well, let's leave now."  
"Yes." He made it to his feet, wavering a little. "Now, this time think of the   
reactor as we were in it just now. Shut everything else from your mind. We must   
do it at the same time, or it won't work."  
Tifa closed her eyes, remembering the hated reactor. Sephiroth was dead.   
Cloud and Zack were alive and well. She was a grown woman.   
When she opened her eyes, she and Sufur were on the other side of the   
door marked J-E-N-O-V-A. Sufur was beside her, When he saw their   
surroundings, he gave a shuddering sigh and slid down to the floor, leaning his   
back on the doorframe. "We'll move on in a moment," he said softly, staring at   
nothing.   
Tifa hesitated. She wanted to demand an explanation. She wanted to turn   
around and punch him in the face for making her do this.   
In the end, though, she simply sat beside him, resting her head in her   
hands.  
******  
"It's a kind of booby trap," Sufur explained, getting to his feet. "A test for   
whoever goes through the door. Jenova set the trap to keep an eye on those who   
use the portal."  
"The…portal?" Tifa raised her head, scrubbing wearily at her eyes. She   
felt as though she could sleep for a week. "What do you-" She fell silent, seeing   
her surroundings for the first time.   
The burned-out doorway was the only thing still standing in the garbage   
heap they were sitting in. Here and there were scattered bits of machinery, but   
nothing she recognized. The actual structure of the place –it appeared to have   
once been a kind of building- seemed somehow familiar, but she could not place   
it.  
"Where are we?" she demanded, starting up.   
He smiled mirthlessly. "What's left of Gongaga Reactor."  
"How…how…" It was mind-boggling, to end up here,  
"I told you, a portal," he said, a trifle impatiently. "It was set after Jenova   
was freed. For convenience, of course."  
"Of course," she echoed faintly, then frowned. "And back there? What   
were all…those things that happened. What were they about?"  
He shrugged and leaned back against the doorframe. "I don't really know.   
Some kind of test, with illusions of our own making. Ours and Jenova's, I   
suppose."   
She shivered. Her own making? How could her own mind dredge up   
something so… "It didn't really happen, though. Right?"  
He flicked back his hair, sighing irritably. "I don't have all the answers;   
actually, I have no idea. I'm assuming no. And, before you ask, no, we weren't   
there for as long as it seemed. The illusion only happened in a split second,   
really."  
Tifa closed her mouth. That really had been what she was about to ask.   
But something still bothered her. "Okay. I believe you about the illusion part- I   
guess Cloud and Zack were…my imagination or something." Another tremor ran   
through her; she couldn't help it. "But there were some things that seemed for   
real. When I tore my dress in the illusion…" She stopped. Her dress had been   
torn, for real, on that day when Mom died. But she had no recollection of it   
happening. Still, that didn't mean…  
Sufur looked at her for a moment, then raised his right arm and rolled up   
the sleeve. His entire lower arm was mottled with dark bruises. Tifa gasped.   
"When-" But she knew.  
He let the sleeve down. "Sometimes, while you were recovering in Costa   
del Sol, people in the streets would find me," he said expressionlessly. "I got   
good at escaping. But when they came at me, I had to raise my arms to protect   
me face. They had knives too, but that's my other arm." She couldn't tell if he   
was joking or not at that last.  
She wanted to ask how an illusion could've done such a thing to him, but   
immediately squelched that back. Because she couldn't bear to think about any   
part of Cloud's... confrontation with Zack being real--she couldn't handle that...   
No... And besides, Sufur hadn't questioned her about what he'd seen with Cloud   
and Zack, and she didn't want him to.  
"And you couldn't leave without my help?" she asked instead.  
He nodded. "Apparently. Don't think I didn't try."  
Tifa didn't answer, not offended. She would have had no qualms about   
leaving him there…wherever "there" was…if she'd had the chance. She found   
their mutual hatred refreshing, after the past few weeks of reading into Zack's   
subtle gestures--things that meant more than his words ever said, until that one   
traumatic night. Not to mention trying to decipher Cloud's moodiness.  
"So what're we doing in Gongaga?" she asked, stretching her arms over   
her head.   
Instead of answering, he walked out to the edge of the junkyard. Tifa   
hurried after him, wondering if he saw something, but there was nothing to be   
seen and certainly nothing to be heard.   
Tifa was suddenly acutely aware of how quiet it was. Even though they   
were close to the town itself, she heard no voices carried on the autumn wind,   
And no typical town sounds, no whirring of machinery or…   
"What is it?" she demanded, her voice sounding harsh in the strained   
silence. Sufur seemed to ignore her and began walking down the bluff. Once   
beyond the next thicket, Gongaga itself would be visible.   
"Answer me!" she snarled, walking faster to match his pace. "What-"  
"Something's wrong," he interrupted coldly. Those blue eyes turned on   
her, sending a chill running through her body, His next words didn't help.   
"Everyone in this town is dead."  
"Everyone?" she repeated, stopping still. She had heard Cid's recounting   
of Rocket Town and Wutai, but… "You're sure?"   
He hadn't stopped to wait for her, so she had to run to catch up in time to   
hear him say, "Perhaps there are a few survivors. But not many. You know it,   
too."   
Tifa didn't like his tone of voice…it was too icily calm. But even ice could   
be shattered if enough pressure was applied. She wondered what it would take   
to shatter Sufur.   
He pushed aside a leafy branch and there it was. The staring eyes, the   
blank faces. The empty houses and the pitiful, weeping mass of survivors. It was   
all right there, right in front of them. There was no running from it, not for them,   
and certainly not for those stricken. Death's icy hand was wide and greedy- even   
those that escaped his grasp were left devastated and perhaps envious of the   
ones he'd taken.  
Tifa took it all in silently, although each new scene of horror was another   
barb in her soul. Somehow she managed to keep moving forward, to follow Sufur   
and ignore the frantic hands clawing at her ankles. But it was hard. Only once did   
she cry out, and that was when she stumbled across the body of a child not   
much older than Adine. The girl's little white hands clutched a bedraggled baby   
doll.  
"Please, no!" she heard herself sob wretchedly. "I can't do this. Why,   
Sufur? Why are you going this way?"  
"I chose this path a long time ago." He had stopped and turned to look at   
her, and even though she could not see his face, Tifa still knew he was deathly   
pale. "I will not turn back." He meant more than just as he said. Tifa had the   
fleeting impression of him falling down a dark well, with no hand to save him. Not   
that he would take the hand if there was one.  
"But why?" she begged, wanting to close her eyes but unable to. "Why do   
we have to go through all this death…couldn't we go by another route?"   
"This is the only way!" His voice sounded strangled. Turning away, he   
added, "Besides, I have to see…what is…for myself!"  
Tifa no longer had any idea what he was talking about, but followed him   
anyway, through the death and destruction. Because she could not go back.  
Finally, they reached the edge of town. Tifa stopped in shock; the tiny little   
cemetery she remembered had become a mass graveyard. So many stones…in   
a way it was as bad as the bodies. The bodies had been people, once. The grave   
markers were stones, hard and coldly inhuman.   
Not far away, a group of men were standing around one grave, talking   
quietly amongst themselves. One man, large and stocky –somehow he seemed   
familiar, but Tifa dismissed the impression- knelt with his head bowed, his stringy   
brown hair hanging around his face. Tifa knew a man defeated when she saw it;   
she'd seen Cloud defeated so many times. Usually it didn't last long. Cloud would   
eventually be reborn with new vigor and drive to succeed. But each time she had   
wondered: Would he really pull through?  
Sufur again stopped and looked around at the graves with something like   
determination, something like vicious hatred, for himself or someone else.  
"We can still turn back," Tifa suggested.  
He shook his head, clenching and unclenching his fists. "I can't. Ever."   
"Yes, you can!" Tifa snapped. "No matter what, you-"  
"I caused all this."  
Tifa stopped. "You…what?"  
"That puts a little damper on your idealism, doesn't it?" he snarled,   
stepping toward her. "I did it for the good of the world, not myself. The world   
needs me, that's a fact. I'm the leading actor in this pathetic little farce. The cuts   
are a bit more…extensive…than I'd like, but I'm not the director. That's Jenova."   
Tifa tried to react, tried to gather her whirlwind emotions. "But…but all the   
innocent people! You…"  
He laughed, actually laughed. "Please, Tifa. Don't be so naïve. There's no   
such thing as an innocent human being. Everyone deserves to be punished, one   
way or another." He paused to flick a few strands of hair from his eyes. "Do you   
honestly believe Reno the Turk is innocent?"  
Images flashed through her mind. Yuffie weeping quietly in a corner one   
night, when she thought no one was awake…Aeris' pain-filled green eyes…Zack   
trying vainly to comfort her while Adine lay dying…the little girl with the doll…No!   
"You mean…he's…"  
"Probably not dead, yet. But he will be. Too bad; I thought I could use him.   
But he's grown weak."   
Tifa grabbed him by the collar. "Reno's dying? What about the others-   
Elena, Cid, Cloud? Zack? What about Zack?!" A few of the men in the group   
looked up, probably astonished that she had so little respect for the dead. She   
had plenty of respect- but the living were more important.  
Sufur smiled cynically and pushed her away from him. "If you want to save   
them, come with me. Deal with Jenova yourself."  
She wanted to kill him, but couldn't. Not with all the death surrounding her.   
She was sinking, drowning in death. She only wanted it to stop. "What is wrong   
with you?" Her voice broke. How could anyone be so… "You've caused so much   
pain, so much suffering. How can you do it? How can you look at the little   
children you've killed and bear to live?"  
For once, Sufur seemed at a loss for words. He opened his mouth,   
changed his mind, and looked away. At last, very quietly, he said, "Pain is   
inevitable. A fatal flaw in human character. There are times, Tifa, when I hate   
myself as much as you do. No, more." His voice hardened. "But I am willing to do   
what it takes to restore the world to its proper order. The show must go on, Tifa,   
remembered that. And if those children were like me at their age, they'll thank me   
for bringing them an early death."   
"You sick, twisted-!" Tifa lunged for him, but Sufur stepped aside, and she   
landed in the mud. As she looked up, she saw the group of men huddle together,   
pointing and talking excitedly.  
"It's time to leave." Without looking back at her, Sufur strode out of the   
cemetery. Tifa wiped mud from her face and sat up. Up above, storm clouds   
gathered as the sun began to set.   
  
~A Note from the Author~  
  
Okay, I'll make this short and sweet. Sorry about the wait, FF.Net is being a bitch to   
my new computer. (Apparently the upload process varies from one edition of   
Windows to the next) Tell me your opinion on this chap, I know you're just dying to   
give it to me!   
  
~Lila 


	29. The Cry of the Planet

 Chapter 28-

The Cry of the Planet

"-And a cloud, dense, dismal, and limitless, does it not hang eternally between they hopes and heaven?"

            ~William  Wilson, Edgar Allen Poe

The moon hung bright and full against the black velvet sky, bathing the mountains in silver light. It had a soothing, gentling affect on the jagged, rocky scenery. Strangely enough, few stars dotted the sky, most were covered by clouds. Overall, the harsh mountain landscape seemed unusually gentle tonight, as though time itself was frozen. 

            Aeris looked around, appreciating the beauty, as she picked her way along the mountain path. Most of the others had retired already, at Cloud's suggestion. They would reach the reactor early tomorrow, and resting up sounded good.

            But there was one member of the party that would not be asleep, that would sit alone late into the night. He'd said little today, but Aeris knew he was constantly haunted by dark visions, reminders of his bloody past. He was afraid- oh, he was terrified by this one enemy he could not defeat- but Reno would not ask for help. He would not let any interfere in this battle he had to fight alone.

            She realized she was smiling sadly, even though she felt more like sobbing. Odd. It seemed the first time she'd smiled for…a long time. Up ahead, the glow of a small campfire parted the darkness.

            By the time she'd reached the fire, Reno had gotten to his feet and had his nightstick out. Aeris stepped slowly into view, and he sighed, as though disappointed he didn't get to fight someone, and put his weapon away. Collapsing once again on a flat rock, he studied his hands. "What do you want, Aeris?"

            Ignoring his somewhat unenthusiastic greeting, she sank down on the rock beside him. Reno didn't seem to see her; he was still staring steadily at his hands, one folded over the other to hide the Sresla. He was waiting for her to leave.

            "Reno," she said quietly, trying to catch his eye. "Why are you still awake, all alone?" 

            "Don't pretend you don't know," he snapped. He stiffened, turning slightly away from her. Aeris sighed. He was retreating into his shell again, the way he'd been when she first met him. Adopting that tough-guy attitude where anything he said was too much, and any attempts to pry were received with hostility.

            "Reno…" She touched his shoulder. "Don't shut me out." There was so much she wanted to say to him, to tell him, but the words wouldn't come out. She couldn't reach him like this. "I…I don't want to lose you yet!" A thin note of despondency had entered her voice, and she was shocked to realize she was close to tears. 

            Reno heaved a long sigh, then turned to look at her. His face was like stone, but when he spoke, his tone showed more emotion than could ever be physically expressed. "Aeris…there's…I don't have much time left. I can tell." As if on cue, he started coughing, hacking uncontrollably. He pressed his sleeve to his mouth and leaned away. Aeris tried her best to help him, but she could do nothing.

            At last, it stopped. Reno took a long breath and continued, sounding hoarse. "I can't. Go back, Aeris. Just leave me alone."

            A long moment passed. Aeris whispered, "No," and moved closer. Slowly, she hooked both hands around his upper arm and pulled him toward her. He resisted at first, but her grip was firm. When they were close enough she leaned against him and rested her head on his shoulder.        

            He swallowed, then put his other arm around her, holding her close to him. The effort made the injury throb, but he scarcely noticed it. She was all that mattered, only her. His barriers, already feeble and weakened by her presence, were being destroyed by this one woman.

            Finally, he said, "I don't want…you to cry, when it happens. You understand? I hate it, when you cry."

            "That's too bad," she murmured softly. "I will anyway."

            Another heartbeat, and he drew away from her a bit. She held onto his hand, the left one, the tainted one, rubbing her own hands over the deep scratches. Her touch was cool.

            "Aeris…look, I…" He couldn't seem to finish. The Sresla seemed to be burning between them, pushing them apart.

            She only said, "Sh," and held his hand up to her cheek. The darkness was thick about them, so that they could scarcely see each other, but they didn't need to see through the blackness. They said nothing, but they needed no words. That touch, his hand gently caressing her face, was all they had. Through the link passed a myriad of emotions: sadness, regret, love, hope, sorrow, loss…all of it passed between them, too deep to express aloud, too poignant to taint with human words.

            Rain was beginning to fall, sprinkling on the last glowing embers of the fire. Thunder rumbled in the distance, coming closer. Reno traced the smooth line of her jaw once more, then allowed his hand to fall.

            "A storm's coming, " he murmured. At once, the moment was gone, shattered. Aeris reached for it again.

            "Let it come."

            Reno pulled away from her touch. He didn't want to think of losing her, but he would. He didn't want to think of causing her pain, but it was inevitable. "Aeris, I…we can't pretend. You know what's going to happen."

            "Nothing is going to happen. "She sounded fierce, vehement- he wished he could believe her. "You won't die. I won't let you. We will fight, you and I…" Her voice broke off into a sob.

            "Aeris, you never were much of a liar."       

            "This isn't how I meant it to be." She abruptly forced herself to stop crying. "Reno, we aren't finished. I…I still owe you a date."

            He couldn't help smiling, even though it was too dark to see. She was so persistent; she wouldn't let him give up hope. It was because of this he loved her.

            Lightning flashed.

            Aeris' face, her beautiful, perfect face, was grey and dead. Rivers of red ran from her head, from her dead staring eyes, as though she was crying blood. And Reno knew, inexplicably, in that moment before thunder, that it had been he who done this to her, he who made her cry tears of blood. 

            He screamed aloud and tried to run, but he couldn't move. Aeris' sightless green eyes looked at him, her flaccid lips moved as if to speak, but thunder obliterated any sound. And then she wasn't Aeris at all, she was Heantha, and then she was Kralin. And Reno couldn't stop screaming, because he'd killed them all, one way or another, out of mercy or ignorance or pure malice. And he would never be free of this thing, this demon inside of him that wouldn't let him stop killing; it would always be there, always be waiting…

            "You knew, didn't you? Why you didn't want to love her?" It was unclear whether Jenova was speaking of Aeris or Heantha, but it didn't matter. It was all happening again, all over again. And he would never wash the blood from his hands, he would never be able to let go…

            "Reno, stop!" Aeris cried, shaking him. "Please, stop!" 

            His throat was raw with screaming. Reno blinked and saw her, just barely, but he saw her leaning over him. The clouds covering the moon had moved away, and a faint bit of flowing light surrounded them. Aeris' face was wet, either with rain or freshly spilt tears. He did not want to know which.

            "Thank you, Mother," she murmured when a shred of recognition entered his eyes. Then she leaned closer to stroke his face. "Was it bad?"  

            Reno saw he was lying on his side in the dirt. Somehow he had fallen off his seat. He sat up and found his rock again, moving very slowly, very carefully. Aeris waited patiently, though she had to be frantic with worry. Not really paying attention to her, he reached inside his coat pocket and pulled out the last flask. 

            His throat was really raw. Reno undid the cap and gulped as much as he could swallow. That amount of hard liquor sent even him coughing and sputtering, but it was something. Something to distract him from the icy numbness that was freezing his limbs. 

            "Reno, talk to me." Aeris sounded frightened. What was she frightened about? She hadn't seen what he'd seen, didn't know what he knew. She trusted him too much.

            Another swallow.

            Aeris ripped the flask from his hand and threw it as hard as she could. They both watched as it clattered down the rocks and rolled out of sight. Aeris looked at him, her small fists clenched. "I will not let you give up on herself!" she said, sounding choked. He turned his head and stared at her. She was breathing hard. "No more of that. Talk to me, Reno. What happened?" she whispered. She knelt beside him and looked into his eyes. "Please."

            He stared at her another moment, then answered. "Aeris, I would never hurt you. You have to believe me."

            She put her arms around him. "I believe you," she said softly.

            That was because she knew when he was lying. Reno grimaced and wondered if she would otherwise. Still, he had the feeling she would. 

            He shut his eyes and tried to concentrate on only her, but the Sresla was there and would not let him. Was he really capable…?

            "I'm sorry, Aeris," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

            Just then, a horrible sound pierced the air. Aeris jerked away and pressed her hands to her ears. Reno wanted to do the same, but the sheer horror of the sound held him frozen. It was like one long, endless shriek of pain and fear and suffering.

            At last, it ended, only to begin anew. Reno wanted to shriek along with it, find somewhere to hide. Find the source and choke it off, anything! 

And Aeris…

The scream filled her entire body, attacking, killing, lethal in its vulnerability. It was a thousand times worse for her than it was for Reno, and she knew if it didn't stop, she would die.

She found herself moaning and clawing at the earth in agony. "Please," she sobbed raggedly. " I can't help unless you make it stop!"     

It did.

Aeris sat up and tried to compose herself. Reno was already starting to his feet, nightstick out, looking about wildly.

"What the hell was that?!" he shouted, voice echoing in the strange silence.

A tiny light appeared in the darkness- the end of Cid's half-smoked cigarette. He materialized in front of them and immediately set to cursing. Aeris glanced around and saw most of the others gathered around- everyone, in fact, except Cloud.

"Don't you know?" she whispered hollowly, looking about at the others. "You've heard it before, on a lesser degree."

"I know that's the first time I ever heard that!" Elena snapped, raking her fingers through her blond hair. "What was it?"

"The scream of the Planet…"

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

            It was at that moment that Zack fell through the door in the reactor. He thought he heard someone speaking, something about a Trial, but he wasn't listening. The gnawing fear and dread in his stomach had finally taken physical form- the endless blackness and, for a fleeting instant, the vision of a coldly beautiful woman smiling cruelly as she pressed a button. It seemed he could hear a man- Reno? But he was back with the others!- saying over and over, "A storm's coming, A storm's coming," like a broken record. He saw, replayed before his eyes, Aeris' soft tears when he left Midgar all those years ago…__

_            "Will you write?"_

_            "I won't need to. I'm coming right back." _

            And, over it all, images of Tifa, Tifa…

            Everything screeched to a halt. Zack scrambled to his feet and looked around wildly. He did not even notice his wounds were fully healed.

            He was in Nibelheim, alone. The houses, the streets were all deserted. He saw nothing. No one. 

            Wait, there _was _someone. A lone woman knelt at the foot of the well, eyes on a small grave. She did not move, even when he called her name.

            "Tifa!" He went and knelt beside her, trying to ignore the suspicious doubt swimming in his mind. "Tifa, it's me."

            Slowly, she turned her head to look at him. Her sudden smile was devoid of the warmth and kindness he'd come to expect. "Hello, Zack," she said softly. "Don't you hate me?"

            He stared, agape. What was she talking about? Had he only imagined everything between them? 

Frustration snapped his already short temper. "Of course not. Why would I?" 

            She rose in one fluid motion. "Because I killed Adine, " she said matter-of-factly. "On purpose. Because I like killing."

            He stared, then slowly backed away. Her eyes, her once-warm brown eyes, were flat and lifeless. Dead. "What are you talking about?"

            "Look at the flowers, Zack." She pointed at the wreath of flowers that hung around the grave marker. Aeris' flowers. They were as brown and lifeless as Tifa's eyes. "I killed them, too."

            Zack tried to force himself to think rationally. Tifa would never say these things or act like this. So… "You're not Tifa." 

            She shook her head, long chestnut hair swinging back and forth. "I'm what she could have been. Should have been. Might have been." She shrugged. "Everything here is what might have been."

            "Here? Where's here?"

            She stepped toward him, laughing a little. "Can't you guess? Here. Your mind, Zack. You. You were thinking of me, so…here I am."

            "I was thinking of Tifa!" he snapped. "Not you!"

            She came closer. "Zack," she said softly. "Wouldn't you love me no matter what? I'm the same person. Just a different shade of her. I exist only here. And in her."

            He closed his eyes. It was all in his mind. Tifa was right there, but it wasn't her. It was some silly trick, that was all. He could get past a trick. He reopened his eyes. 

            Tifa had her arms linked behind her and was rubbing the back of her ankle with one foot. She smiled up at him shyly. "We are all different shades, Zack," she said, as though sharing a secret. "Everyone. I am capable of doing many things. I can save the world or destroy it. I can rescue a helpless man or kill a child. Our actions determine who we are. You see? So, if you really love Tifa Lockheart, you'll have to learn to love me, too."

            He felt his conviction waver a bit. She made sense. But… "I want Tifa as I know her."

            She rolled her eyes. "Fine. But remember what I said."

            The world…tilted. Zack pitched backwards and landed hard in the dirt. The sky swam. As he forced himself up, Tifa rushed to him and threw her arms around his middle, nearly knocking him over again. 

            "Zack." Her voice was muffled. He thought she might be crying.

            He held her tenderly, but was careful not to drop his guard. "Tifa…"

            She looked up at him, distraught. "Zack, it's Sufur's fault. He's the one who….to all those people…and Adine…"

            "Sh," he said, relieved that she wasn't claiming to have killed the child any longer. "You're okay now."

            She shook her head. "No, I'm not. I'm no better than him. I wanted to kill him, to make him suffer. If I could have, I would have murdered him in cold blood."

            He felt a sudden flash of unease. He had- still did, really- felt the exact same way. Why was it so disconcerting to hear Tifa say it? Maybe because he didn't want to believe it of the woman he loved…

            But maybe…because it wasn't quite as simple as that. Though it was difficult to think, a certain part of his heart was certain. Tifa would have a hard time working up the hatred to do that. And besides, she really hadn't done that. If she had wanted to, she could have taken the opportunity to do so already.

            "But you didn't," he half-argued. "That's the difference. You didn't."

            "But I could have," she whispered.

            Thrown into sudden confusion, Zack could not answer. He still felt fairly certain that Tifa didn't harbor the intent to kill anyone in cold blood, no matter what this…specter…of hers might be playing at. But the question had cast dark shadows on his own intents.

How was the intent any different from the deed? If actions really determined who you were, what about what you wanted to do but couldn't? Even though he would kill Sufur the moment he set eyes on him, did that make him any more or less a murderer? And was that now or later? Did the sin occur when you'd made the cold-blooded decision, or when you'd actually done the deed?

            And he knew the real reason he wanted to kill Sufur. It wasn't because the guy had been doing evil deeds or whatnot. The reason, the reason Zack had so much trouble accepting, the real reason he wanted to kill Sufur was because he'd taken Tifa away.

            And did that really justify murder?

            But wouldn't anyone go as far as taking lives to protect their loved ones? And Sufur wasn't just any man. Sufur was the man who had tried to strangle Aeris in her sleep! The man who had taken shots at Zack. Just thin king of such a man holding Tifa's life in the palm of his hand made a hold form in Zack's gut.

            He swallowed hard. "It's not the same. Sufur's a cold-blooded murderer." 

            "But he's a human being, too. And I wanted to take his life!" she insisted, the ache in her voice making his heart throb. Though he still doubted it was her, she looked like Tifa and sounded like her…and his body responded to her warmth…

And still the dark thoughts whirled in his head. Inside, were he and Tifa and Sufur and everyone…all the same? Did it really just come down to the ability to carry out the action?

            "It doesn't matter," he said aloud. "I love you all the same." That made him feel better. It was best not to think of the implications of every black thought. All he needed to think of was her…as soon as he got out of here, he could… 

            Tifa smiled up at him, then suddenly shoved him to the ground. He slipped in slick mud and ended up nearly falling on his face. Mud…?

            He tried to look up, but a booted foot stepped on the back of his neck and held him down. Zack struggled, but he was suddenly so tired, as though he'd walked miles and miles, and the mud was making him slip and slide. 

            "Got him." The voice was low, guttural- a soldier's voice, thick with satisfaction. The boot was removed from his neck, and Zack was able to look up. 

            A group of soldiers were gathered around, holding machine guns. One of them- the commander, presumably- did not hold a gun. Instead, he held a long, thin black nightstick. The rain, the cause of all the mud, matted his red hair to his face. That face Zack knew so well.

            "Reno," Zack croaked, trying to move. His Buster Sword lay just barely out of reach, and, try as he might, he could not make himself get hold of it.

            Reno glanced at him and sneered. "Pathetic. Just pathetic." He waved an impatient hand at the soldiers. "Well? Shoot him!"

            They hesitated. Zack seized the chance and managed to get up onto his elbows. "Reno, what are you doing?"

            Reno's sneer slipped a bit. "I'm sorry, Zack." He sounded regretful. "But you should know by now that this is who I am. I don't like it any more than you do." The sneer returned. "Aeris wouldn't like it if she found out. So let's keep this our little secret, shall we?"

            On cue, the gunmen fired. As bullet after bullet ripped into his body, Zack couldn't do more than scream and thrash. He thought he heard a woman laughing. Then it suddenly ended, and he was staring up at the sky. Rain was falling heavily, now.

            "We'd better go." Reno looked up at the same sky. "A storm's coming."

            _Cloud, Zack thought listless, remembering. _They're supposed to find Cloud.__

_            Reno gave a low laugh. "Don't worry. Strife's gone, and he's never coming back."_

            _A storm's coming…a storm's coming…_

_            Zack's mind drifted as Reno and the soldiers walked off. A small part of him insisted this wasn't real, that this had never happened, but the rest of him knew it had. He remembered now. The shock and pain had driven it from his mind, but he remembered it all. Had Reno recognized him, all these years later? He didn't know. He supposed it was hard to keep track of all your victims when you were a Turk. Especially if you were boozing all the time._

            He tried to move and was vaguely surprised to discover he could not. A jolt of fear shot through him. If he died, what would happen to Tifa?

            "Tifa," he managed to whispered softly. She would come for him. She would come, and he would be with her. He didn't care what happened after that.

            But what she really be okay? Would…Cloud take care of her now? He knew she was strong, but so much had happened all at once…

He lay there, with the rain falling all around him, and waited. Blood puddled around him, but the rain washed it away.

            His mind drifted to Reno again. Did Reno remember what had happened back then? And if he did remember, did he care? Zack had thought him to be a decent guy, but he could have misjudged him. Maybe he was still dangerous. 

            Zack corrected himself. Of course Reno was still dangerous. But could he be trusted? _Sure he can_, he told himself fiercely. Reno was a friend. That was good enough for him.

            Suddenly he was aware of someone leaning over him. Tifa…?

            The woman smiled coldly. "I'm afraid not. You know me as Jenova."

            Jenova…Zack tried to force his eyes to focus. "You…you caused all this…"

            "Your little girlfriend won't be coming, I'm afraid," she continued. "She's still trying desperately to bring down Shinra, although with less nobility and more of a desire for vengeance. They killed my precious puppet, you realize."

            "But…this is all…" What was reality? He tried again to think, to gather his thoughts, but he was drifting away…

            Jenova studied him, those disturbing purple eyes intent. "You fool. You are dying."

            No, he wasn't. He felt fine, really…now if only he could make his lips move…

            She cocked her head, and a quizzical expression formed on her face. "Perhaps…yes, you would be a perfect test. I'm beginning to wonder if my new puppet is having second thoughts about his role." Was she still smiling, or had the expression turned to a scowl? Things were starting to look blurry…too blurry to see…

            She was still talking, though, and he could hear her relatively well.

            "…might yet be useful to me." She leaned forward and placed her hands on his temples. Zack gasped, but could not move away. Her touch was like ice, seeming to strip the flesh from his bones. 

            He thought he would break under the pressure, but he was still drifting….

            …unaware his body was jerking and convulsing…

            …drifting…

            …falling…

            Nothing. 

**Thank you, everyone who has been kind enough to overlook this massive delay. Chapters will be coming faster and faster as we now near the final quarter of RtP…out of curiosity, does anyone have any opinions regarding the philosophical issues I'm throwing in here? The point is to make you think, y'know. **

**Please, review and tell me what your thoughts are. And, um…that beginning scene with Reno and Aeris was my first…somewhat romantic scene. Should I stay away from those from now on? *cringes***

**Later! **

**            ~Lila**


	30. Until Life Begins

 Chapter 29- 

Until Life Begins 

"O lost sad men, what terror is this you suffer? Night shrouds you to the knees, your heads, your faces; dry retch of death runs round like fire in sticks; your cheeks are streaming tears; these fair walls and pedestals are dripping crimson blood. And thick with shades is the entryway, the courtyard is thick with shades passing athirst toward Erebos, into the dark; the sun is quenched in heaven, foul mist hems us in…"

~The Odyssey, Homer

Sometimes the most inhospitable of places can house great beauty. The deepest ocean crevice holds fantastic sights no human eye will ever see. The vast emptiness of outer space is the home of the planets, the moon, the stars. And in the Nibel Mountains, there was a tiny little glade, a miracle of nature. Grass flourished, and even a few trees grew here. It was magnificent, and it was here the meeting commenced.

            Cid paced. The perpetual cigarette dangled from the corner of his mouth. His dirty blond hair was even messier than usual, and he hadn't shaved for days. In the dim starlight of the night before, he'd looked haggard. Now, in the bright morning sunlight, he looked, to use Cid's own words, "like shit." But that didn't really matter. He was pissed.

            "Why didn't you tell me, Cloud?" he snapped. Shera stepped forward, as though to something calming, but he stomped past her, whirled around, and faced Cloud. "Well? Answer me!"

            It wasn't a full meeting- only Shera, Cid, Yuffie, Vincent and Aeris were present. After last night's unpleasant awakening, Cloud had stayed in his tent all night and most of the morning with his hands over his ears, even long after the scream had stopped. He'd just wanted to keep his head from splitting open. He felt sick, but Vincent had ordered –ordered!- him to come out and do some explaining. Apparently Cid had found out about the "discussion" around the campfire and wasn't happy. Well, that made two of them. Just because he was having visions did _not_ mean Jenova was manipulating him. There had to be another explanation. 

            The thing was, he couldn't see one.

            "If you had a problem, we could have dealt with it. You didn't have to hide it from us!" Cid dropped his cigarette and ground it in into the dirt with his boot. Cussing as he fumbled for his pack, he muttered, "Shit, Cloud, we trusted you! And you…"

            Cloud tried to think. There was a buzzing in his head that wouldn't go away. "I'm sorry, Cid." It seemed the right thing to say. Still…sorry for what, exactly? He hadn't done anything wrong, trying to protect them. He knew what he was doing, he-

            Cid seemed to read his thoughts on his face. "You had no goddamned idea what you were doin'." So saying, he sat back on the ground and closed his eyes. The anger seemed to have left him. Shera knelt by his side and placed a hand on his shoulder. After a moment, he covered it with his own.

            Yuffie looked at the other two beside her, Vincent and Aeris. She had been the one to tell Cid about their suspicions involving Cloud- they needed someone sane involved in this; certainly not Vincent! Cid's reaction had, unfortunately, been far, far worse than she'd anticipated. Then, just as they were on their way to the "meeting," Aeris had joined them. She said nothing, but no one questioned her presence. Admittedly, they'd been tiptoeing around Aeris lately- she was beginning to seem a little…distracted. Even right now, her face had a strange, faraway cast to it, as though she was looking- living- somewhere else.

            Yuffie sighed. Aeris wasn't going to be much help, and Vincent looked ready to spit nails. (The image almost made her giggle absurdly, but she held it in.) Cloud just stood there, making no effort at all to defend himself. And above it all, she thought she could hear wicked, gleeful laughter.

            "You guys!" she yelled, stomping into the midst of the group. All eyes turned on her; even Aeris' green gaze slid away from the sky. Yuffie didn't back down. She was furious.

            "Listen to yourselves! It's been going on for a while, and I've had enough! No more squabbling. No more blaming each other. I'm younger than any of you, and you're the ones acting like children!" Her mind flickered back to that night before last, and her mouth tightened. "All of us, too. Elena, Rude, Barret…all of us. Maybe even me. But it's _wrong!_"

            "Of course it's wrong," Aeris said suddenly. "That's why it's been happening…all over the world."

            Yuffie blinked. What did Aeris mean…? Then she remembered Wutai and her corrupt father. Rocket Town with those two horrible men. And- she was so glad she hadn't seen them up close and personal!- Darryn and his Hunters. Maybe it was…just them. Maybe Jenova didn't matter anymore if they were going to destroy themselves.

            "What are you saying, Aeris?" Cloud said quietly. "That we have no control over ourselves at all? That the worst of us has just been…unleashed?"

            She started, as though her mind had been somewhere else. "What? Oh, no. The situation of the Planet has just allowed evil to flourish. Like weeds in a badly kept garden."

            No one spoke. Yuffie realized her nails were digging into her palms. She forced herself to relax and unclenched her fists. Then Vincent came slowly forward.

            "Cloud, I…" He stopped and swallowed hard, then continued. "I may have misjudged you. I made a mistake." He bowed his head. "Please forgive me."

            Cloud looked uncomfortable. He cleared his throat, looked around at the others and muttered, "Sure, Vincent. It was just…a mistake." Yuffie wasn't sure whether he was sincere or not, but she thought he was.

            Aeris smiled at Vincent as he stepped back to his place. Yuffie wanted to do the same, to go over to him and thank him for doing the right thing. But she didn't.

            Cloud stood up and stretched. The sun was coming up over the horizon. Soon they would be off. "Well-" and his voice sounded strained "-since that's settled."

            Aeris' clear voice cut him off. "We have something else to discuss."

            Cloud winced. "You mean that scream?"

            "The cry of the Planet." The correction was quiet, but firm.

            Yuffie suddenly knew what was different about Aeris this morning: She was frightened. Her green eyes were at once distant and troubled, as though she was fixated on something horrible just off on the horizon.

            Cloud noticed, too. "Aeris? Is there-?"

            "The Planet needs our help," she said softly. "It would survive without just us, but if all life is extinguished, the Planet will die as well. Cloud…no matter what, the Planet must be saved. Even if it costs us our lives."

            He moved to her like lightning and gasped her by the shoulders. "Don't talk to us in riddles, Aeris," he whispered forcefully. "What do you know? What have you seen?"

            Aeris did not meet his gaze. After the confused jumble of visions and images the Plane that sent her last night, she had become desperately afraid. For all of them. "You don't want to know what I've seen," she murmured softly. "But…please listen when I say this. Whatever it takes, Jenova _must be destroyed. That's all." She pulled away from him and started to turn back to the camp. Cloud grabbed at her harm._

            "Don't hold out on us, Aeris!" He sounded angry, and she spun back with ferocity to match his. 

            "Let go of me!"

            He didn't at first, not until Vincent came forward with quiet dignity. "Let her go, Cloud."

            With a helpless snarl of frustration, Cloud released her arm and turned away, wiping a hand over his face. He was visibly trembling. Aeris cast Vincent a grateful look, then spoke, addressing them all.

            "Please don't think anything the Planet has told me would be of any use to us; otherwise I would tell you." Her voice held bitterness. "All it has done is make me suffer." She turned away, ready to leave. "I have to find Reno." She started walking away, but Cid called after her.

            "Hey, Aeris!" 

            She stopped but didn't turn. 

            Cid gave Shera a half-sheepish smile as he continued, "Would you please, uh…tell Elena I didn't mean those things I said?"

            Aeris turned her head back to look at him. Her green eyes were warm. "It would be better for her to hear from you, Cid." She hurried off.

            Shera went to Cid and put her arms around him. "I love you, Cid."

            He removed his cigarette and kissed her hair with uncharacteristic tenderness. A spark dropped from the cigarette in his hand, lighting a tiny flame in the grass. No one noticed except for Cloud, who quickly leapt forward and stamped it out. 

            That _was_ Cloud- resourceful leader, a jack-of-all-trades. They trusted him. They had to. But if they looked closely, they could see he was coming apart at the seams. It wasn't very reassuring, so they looked away. Cloud was falling apart a little more every day, and even though everyone saw, they pretended not to. They figured Cloud could still take care of them.

            And maybe he could. It remained to be seen, of course.

            Could he stomp out this fire that threatened to consume the human race? Not to mention, according to Aeris, the rest of the Planet as well. Could he destroy the fire before it destroyed him?

            He knew.

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

            The same fire was burning inside of Reno, who had just awakened from a drowsy half-sleep. The nightmares had come, of course, but he no longer feared them. He was entering into the next level, the grim state of apathy that came before self-deterioration. His fears centered on the future and what it contained.

            _Better the future than the past, he thought absently. Then,_ But what if the future is no different from the past?__

_            Suddenly feeling sick, he somehow got to his feet and stumbled out the tent. He fell to his knees and retched. He couldn't help it- it was as though his body was physically trying to exorcise the person he'd become. He didn't resist._

            Then she was there, kneeling beside him, supporting him. Her hands held back his long hair, gripped his shoulders. And when it was finally over he didn't want to look at her, didn't want to acknowledge that she had seen him like this. 

            Aeris drew him closer to her and wiped his mouth. Her hand was shaking.

            "Never looked better, have I?" His voice was wracked and hoarse.

            With a sob, she hugged him tightly, as though fearful he would slip through her fingers. "We still have a chance," she gasped as though drowning. "We still have a chance."

            Reno found it hysterically ironic that _he_ was comforting _her, but didn't really care one way or another. He held her, albeit stiffly, until she had regained enough control to ask if he felt well enough to go on._

            Go on? Why?"Yeah. I'll be fine. We'll reach the reactor today, won't we?"

            "Yes," she said softly. "It will end soon." 

            Reno didn't reply to that. He got to his feet, feeling like he couldn't handle another moment of her presence. "I'll come find you later," he said quietly. He turned and left her, disappearing into the tent where Rude was just beginning to awaken.

            Aeris shivered suddenly. Glancing up, she saw that rain was starting to fall.

            "It's coming," she whispered to herself. "And we have nowhere to hide." 

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *           

            The tombstone was hastily constructed, as though its maker didn't know or didn't care what he was doing. Perhaps he had already been sick. More likely, he didn't give a fuck. The words hadn't even been properly chiseled in the stone; they were scribbled on with black paint that would wash off when the first rains came.

Linda Graham 

            That was all. No date of birth, no last messages, nothing. The tombstone's maker could have found out if he'd bothered to ask- which must have been how he got her name- but he was more concerned with sitting on his ass than completing Linda's grave, the last sight of her that Darryn would ever have. 

            Oh-ho, someone was gonna pay-

            But his heart wasn't in it. Darryn half-raised his head and looked around his hometown. Bodies were…everywhere. Linda must have died early on, to even be allowed a space underground. A lot of other people- some he knew- were sprawled on the ground like maggots, twisted in the last throes of death. Most doors of the empty houses were wide open; presumably a few had been looting the homes of those already dead.

            Darryn felt his irrational anger fade. Whoever had made Linda's tombstone was probably already dead, like her.

            So this was how Gongaga ended. A miserable place to begin with, depreciated further after the reactor exploded (killing what remained of his family, thank you _so _much Rufus Shinra), and now this. A stinking death trap in a world already going down in flames.

            How had it come to this? Years ago, before the blast, he'd been a happy man, close to his parents and younger sister, not quite married yet but everyone knew he and Linda were an item. Then the blast destroyed his entire family. Darryn himself would have died, died raging with pain and grief, had not Linda been so goddamned determined to make him live. Tall, beautiful, dark Linda. She had tried to help him heal.

            And he almost had. But Darryn had always been a spiteful- okay, maybe vengeful person. And he, unlike everyone else in Gongaga, did not blame the accident on Shinra.

            He blamed it on _a_ Shinra.

            Scarlet had been the one to talk Gongaga into mako power, but Rufus Shinra, then Vice President, oversaw the whole project. And it was he who put the rubber stamp on the final documents, even though the reactor was unsafe. None of this would have happened if it weren't for him.

            Not very logical, no. But it seemed to make sense to Darryn, in a crazed way. While outwardly he seemed to be recovering, inside he nursed dark hatred, where it swelled to frantic obsession. And suddenly it wasn't enough just to sit here hating; he needed to go and find Shinra, kill him before someone else did it first! To Darryn the only way to end the madness was eliminate the source- first handedly. That was when he bought the dagger, the one with silver snakes curving around the handle, and learned how to use it. Other people who felt the edge of that dagger were just small preparation. That dagger was meant to taste the lifeblood of Rufus Shinra. 

            Linda had been angry. _You have to stop this!_ she'd yell. _It's killing me, Darryn, more than it's killing him! How do you think I feel, alone in bed, when you're out talking to those dangerous men and making plans to go and murder somebody?_

_            He still remembered his reply. _Everyone will be better when he's dead, baby. You'll see.__

_            No, it won't! she'd screamed. _You're so full of hate, there's not enough room for me anymore! You'll waste him, and you'll come back empty inside. Forever.__

_            He'd left soon afterwards. The assassination attempt failed, of course. He'd come back weeks later, and she'd received him with a strange mixture of anger and tears. And that was the way she'd be every time he came back…he'd had several more trips, sometimes for months, years. But he always returned, and she was always there. Oh, she'd had lovers while he was away, but it was Darryn she __loved, there was never any question about that. Everyone else he was close to had either died or…drifted away. His friends had become disturbed by his near-fanatical obsession with Rufus Shinra, and after a while it was only Linda…always Linda._

            Except, this time, she wasn't waiting for him. She'd left him at last. 

            And when he'd come and found this wretched garbage heap of human life, searched frantically in the empty houses, and, at last, found the shoddy headstone on the edge of the cemetery, during all that, he couldn't speak a word. Inwardly all of his weapons- anger, blame, vengeance- raged with a certain desperation. But none of these would bring her back. It had occurred to him how pointless everything had been; how he'd wasted those last few years. And for what? He hadn't even gotten Rufus Shinra. The man was dead…and so was Linda. 

            And she'd been right. He _was_ empty inside.

            His Hunters were gathered behind him. Darryn realized, with a tired sort of exasperation, that they still needed him to tell them what to do. They were a stupid lot, handpicked to they'd follow orders without challenging his authority. He wanted to give up, right there. He'd order them to go home, then walk into Linda's house, lay down on her bed, and wait for death to take him.

            He opened his mouth.

            Another Hunter, an ugly-as-sin fellow by the name of Stu, came running up. He shoved the others aside and knelt beside Darryn, speaking low and fast. 

            "The man and the woman that was just here. We should track them, Boss. Question them."

            "Why's that?" Almost unconsciously Darryn's hand clenched on the silver dagger.

            Stu's scarred face split into a wide grin. "I think we finally got 'im, Boss. One of the fellows, said the man bore a certain resemblance to…" He leaned close for emphasis. "Rufus Shinra."

            "What?" Darryn jumped up, snarling. "And you let him go, you morons?!"

            Stu looked uncomfortable. "Didn't want to interrupt," he muttered. "And besides, his hair was different. He could've-"

            "Shut up," Darryn said coldly. He needed a minute to think. They were so close, so incredibly close that he could almost taste Shinra's blood already. Best not to go rushing into the situation without planning. They would need to take him by surprise. 

"Get the men," he ordered finally. "Ransack every store, every house around, and take all the weapons you can carry. Enough to capture, but not kill. That's for me."

As the five Hunters rushed to do his bidding, Darryn anticipated the possibility of reaching his goal before the night ended. He would have Rufus Shinra in his grasp, and then, life could begin. 

Darryn began to smile.

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *                       They came at dawn. 

Sufur was thinking of victory, so near at hand. He would have the place he deserved. He would live, finally _live_, for the first time. He had lost much, but he would gain so much more. 

The world. That was what he would gain. He was a noble hero saving the people from themselves.

Tifa kept starting to speak, then falling silent. The dark and scowling expression on her face showed she was brooding. Sufur recognized the look. She was ready to try something. 

He clenched his teeth with irritation. He didn't want to kill her, he could admit that. Of course, Jenova might- and probably would- do the job for him. So why was he so reluctant to end it for her now? If he felt any semblance of compassion, he would kill her now, before she suffered greatly at Jenova's hands.

He turned to her and caught her covering a yawn. She looked tired and haggard- they'd been walking all night. Sufur had calculated that if they pushed on, they would reach their goal by nightfall. If Tifa didn't collapse by then.

Of course, he wasn't counting on what happened next.

Darryn's men came at them from all sides. There was no pretense, none. In fact, Tifa had been in the middle of another yawn when she realized they were under attack. Six of them, some with switchblades, some with guns, one with a glittering silver dagger.

Three of the six went for her, three for Sufur. He fought desperately, but was no equal. The truth was, he may have had the power of Jenova, but Darryn and his men fought with a power to match- the power of hate, of vengeance and bitter love, the power of regret and sorrow for things to come. It was too strong for Jenova, and it didn't take Sufur long to realize the divine prowess he'd come to depend on had abandoned him. Still, it took all three men to bring him down, and even that was a near thing.

Sufur's shotgun was ripped from his grasp. He took two, three strong clubs with it in the face. At last he fell to his knees, groaning, with blood running down his face. Darryn knelt beside him.

"You are a very unlucky man," he said quietly. "Also very stupid. I'm not sure how or why you can be alive when _she's dead, but that's the way of the world, isn't it?" He laughed a bit; a crazed, mirthless laugh that reflected the instability so evident in his face. "Stu tells me you were hitting that poor woman over there." He cocked his head toward Tifa, held captive by two other men, her eyes dark slits. She had a bloody gash across her forehead. Darryn's gaze lingered on her lovingly before he turned back to Sufur. "The way I see it, the world is divided into two kinds of people: Us and Them. You, my friend, are one of Them. You steal what you can from us, stomp on us so we can't take anything back. You yell for what you want, and some little shit's always there to jump for you."_

Sufur stared at him, his eyes twin chips of blazing ice.

Darryn looked back at Tifa and made a half-mocking bow. "My last act in this world will be to deliver you from the hands of my old friend. Call it redemption, if you will. Although at this point I don't think it'll make much of a difference."

Tifa drew back in horror. The man's voice, easy and kindly, almost could have fooled her. His mocking half smile- later she would remember it and be struck by its similarity to Reno's- might have taken her in. But his eyes…his flat, lifeless hazel eyes evoked dread and deep loathing that didn't leave any room for pity. They were the eyes of a man who'd lost himself willingly, of a man who'd turned from the light because it dazzled his vision. What he saw instead repelled others, but he hated and loved it more than anything else in his life.

And this man's gaze could see right through Sufur's defense.

"Why do you keep calling me your friend?" Sufur said suddenly. His voice was thick and ragged, but understandable. "I don't even know you."

"Ah, but I know you." Darryn drifted close to him, grinning joyously. "I've known you my entire life." His hand snaked out and grasped the red pendant around Sufur's throat. His fingers were trembling.

Sufur screamed inside of his head. _You shouldn't be able to touch that! You shouldn't be able to see-_

"You can't hide who you are," Darryn whispered. "Not from me." With a powerful jerk, he tore off the pendant.

The air…shimmered, as though a veil had passed over their eyes. Sufur wrenched back and fell to his knees with a ragged cry. Tifa felt goosebumps rise up on her flesh. She wanted to close her eyes but kept them fixed on Sufur. She couldn't look away. And with a dull sort of understanding, she realized why.

She could see it, now. The fair, perfect skin. His slender frame, his regal posture. The quality of his voice. And the reddish-blond roots in his dyed brown hair.

She was stunned with the realization of this knowledge, what it meant. All this time, and she hadn't known. How could she not have known?

Darryn reached out and grabbed Rufus Shinra by his two-toned hair, pulling his head up. Tifa didn't want to look, but she couldn't help it. It was too late.

That unforgettable, perfect face. His blazing blue eyes fixed on hers and he opened his mouth, ready to say something. Offer an explanation? Taunt her? Laugh at her blank shock? Tifa never found out.

As though in slow motion, she saw Darryn pull back a meaty fist and push forward, embedding the rocky knuckles in that face. As Darryn pulled back, she could see Rufus still staring at her, even though his lower lip was split and bleeding freely, the blood running down his chin, he was still staring at her and she couldn't look away-

Tifa screamed.

**~Author's Note~**

**I extend my apologies to Kiyara. I like my chapters less than 10 pages. ^^**

**I remember, many of you are fond of cliffhangers. *sadistic grin* And many of you must be asking, "What the hell is this? AVALANCHE divided reconciled, divided? Rufus Shinra FINALLY revealed? Overly long flash into Darryn's past? Who does Lila think she is? Where is she going?"**

**Mm. Damned if I knew. **

**~Lila**


	31. Full Circle

Chapter 30- 

Full Circle

"Nightmare is the word. In waking life only animate things slither and jerk for him this way. His unreal hacking dazes his brain; half-hypnotized, it plays tricks whose strangeness dawns on him slowly…" ~ John Updike, _Rabbit Run_

They had reached it, the summit of all their toil. Reno, with Aeris next to him, was staring up at the reactor, that massive construction of steel and secrets. He and all the others stood in front it, lost before its overpowering will. Reno realized then that they had all been fooled, it was the reactor that forced them to it, that they were all pawns and none of them were going to make it to the end of the game. 

         They were all gathered outside of it, looking lost. What was there to do now? Cloud broke the silence. "Well," he said, the words echoing in the rocky mountains around them. His voice sounded isolated and he broke off for a moment, unnerved. Then he cleared his throat and tried again.

         "Let's go in."

         Wearing a stiff, decisive visage, he started up the metal steps, which creaked under his weight. Cid took a moment to stamp out his cigarette and followed. One by one they started up the steps. Weapons were out.

         Aeris was walking behind Reno; he didn't have to turn around to know she was there. She'd said little to him since that morning, but had never strayed far from his presence, like a pale, beautiful shadow. He knew she was worried, and it infuriated him. Not because he could blame her, but it angered him because she had cause to worry. And she suffered for it.

         She needed to just stop. He would find a way to tactfully tell her he appreciated it, but she was better off focusing on other things. She was letting her feelings affect her too much; she looked wan, troubled. Weary.

         As he was thinking about this, frowning, Aeris took his hand from behind. Her skin was clammy, but her touch gentle. "Are you afraid?" she whispered, pressing his palm.

         He glanced back; she was alone. The others were already inside. "No." Right after he'd said it, he was shocked to realize he was, even though he had no idea why. He tried to cover it. "Are you?"

         They were standing outside of the door now. Cloud peered out at them, waiting, but he didn't look impatient. 

         She paused beside Reno and swept her gaze over the Nibelheim landscape, taking in the jagged grey mountains, the rocky path, the low sky overcast with threatening clouds. It was not a comforting sight. She swallowed and whispered, "No."

         On impulse Reno released her hand and grasped her chin, forcing her to turn away from the landscape and look at him. Her eyes caught his, and for a fleeting instant he wished…but no. No, it could never be,

         He allowed himself to stroke the side of her face for a moment, thinking of that night. Then he let his hand drop. "You're a rotten liar."

         She smiled slowly, the sun breaking through the clouds. "You're no better." Turning away from him, she stepped into the reactor. Reno followed, a little puzzled by her change in behavior.

         _No, I'm not afraid. But she was. Of what?_

         The reactor was dark. That was the first thing he noticed. Elena had a small ball of fire between her hands, its magical light casting a few of the shadows aside. It was useful to see, but it seemed to pull the darkness more closely around them.

         "I've been here before," Yuffie said loudly, her voice sounding unusually high. "But I don't remember it being this freaky."

         Marlene let out a high-pitched squeak and buried her face in Barret's shoulder. At this, Cid found an excuse to let his tension get the better of them. He turned quickly to Shera.

         "Shera!" he muttered in a low tone. "I've changed my mind. Get out of here. I don't want you to come. Take Marlene and go." 

         Shera hesitated. "But I can't just leave you!" she insisted with frustration. "Besides, where would we go?" 

         "I don't care!" Cid snapped. "I was stupid. Neither of you should have come. Just go back!"

         His voice cracked like a whip in the darkness, but it was out of desperation, not anger. Elena's fire wavered and she fought hard to keep it from blowing out altogether.  

         Shera looked angry, but the jab about Marlene's safety had her caught. Grabbing Marlene by the hand, she stepped past Aeris to the door. She pushed on it with her free hand, but it didn't move.

         "The door's closed," she said in a tremulous voice. "When did it close?"

         Cid marched over and pushed on it with his hands, but it stuck close. He swore loudly, but anyone who looked closely could see his fingers holding the cigarette was shaking.

         Close spoke. "None of us are going anywhere. We're close now. Come on." He led the way across the gangplank and, one by one, they climbed down the chain in utter silence. 

         Reno couldn't shake the feeling that they were walking into a trap. They were, of course; they had to. But Reno had the uneasy suspicion that something totally unexpected was coming.

         "We need to be prepared for illusions," he said, jumping off the chain. "Jenova might try to strike with those." He reached up and helped Aeris down. 

         Cloud nodded. "Yeah, you're right." Without another word, he crossed into the next room. They followed. 

         This room was warmer than the others, noticeably so. A stairway in the center led up to the second level, where a door marked J-E-N-O-V-A presided. Surrounding the staircase were rows of large, egg-shaped pods.

         The flickering light from Elena's hands illuminated Cloud's wan and weary face. He swallowed, wiped a hand over his brow, and said, "Through the door. It has to be. Come on."

         One at a time, they stepped up the stairs. Elena was trembling, afraid. She wanted to speak to Rude or Reno, but she could not shake the vision of them turning on her. He had promised he would die first, but here, anything seemed possible. She glanced around at the others and saw Cid put an arm around Shera. A wave of envy flashed through her, and she suddenly wished she was a normal woman who could be comforted once in a while. But she had given that up a long time ago, when she had become a Turk.

         Cloud was nearly halfway up the steps when Vincent spoke. 

"Stop. Something's wrong."

Cloud whipped around to look at him. Vincent was standing directly behind him, Death Penalty in hand, glancing about as though he sensed something.

"I agree," Elena said from a few feet back. "This was a mistake."

For an instant they all froze, trying to regain their bearings, when Yuffie suddenly shrieked. 

"_Look at the pods!_"

All around them, the egg-shaped pods cracked and split apart as though something inside was struggling to get out. At length one, then another opened, and like a wave hundreds of pods opened to reveal an army of…

"Monsters!" Cloud shouted. His mind flashed back to that day with Sephiroth and he was suddenly confused…monsters, but they were once humans…Oh God, what was he doing? They were just like him: They looked like monsters, but were human…while he looked human, but in reality he was…

"Look out!" Barret roared, hurling himself up the stairs as he emptied rounds into the creature attacking Cloud. 

The blond man made no move to resist; he had no wish to attack what he might have been. Cloud put his head in his hands. "No!" he cried wildly. "I don't want to be-!" 

Barret glanced down at him and shook his head impatiently. "Vincent, you back me!" he shouted. "We gotta cover him."

Down below, Reno ordered Aeris out of the way and threw himself into the midst of the fighting, Rude and Elena at his side. The three formed a tight triangle at the base of the stairs, blocking the bottom level from attack while Barret and Vincent fired from above.

Watching helplessly, Aeris quickly realized the creatures were extraordinarily intelligent. They saw that there was no getting around the tight ring of Turks and were trying to get below in order to attack more vulnerable prey. Reno, Rude and Elena were trying, but there were too many monsters to content with. One slender beast simply clambered on top of a shattered pod and vaulted over the Turks, landing behind Aeris and facing Shera, who was close to the room's only exit- and even that would lead to a dead end.

Aeris closed her eyes and summoned Ultima, but the spell had no effect. That could only mean the creatures were magic-resistant, which meant…

"They're mako-tolerant!" she cried to anyone who could hear. "It's Hojo's work!"

Up above, she heard Cloud give a strangled cry. Aeris hesitated, looking at the monster she would be unable to kill by herself. Fortunately, Nanaki raced by and leapt on the creature's back, digging in with his claws and teeth.

"I've got this," he growled. "Go!"

She turned and sprinted up the stairs, nearly running headlong into the Venus Gospel, whose owner was racing to protect Shera. Aeris stumbled to the side, where a creature grasped at her with webbed hands. It was horrifyingly close, with green tentacles scales amid patches of raw pink flesh; fangs glinting in a face that was grotesquely…

Screaming, she slammed on it hard with her metal rod, but it held fast to her legs. Then Reno was there. Without pausing for a millisecond, he placed his gun to the side of its head and pulled the trigger. The creature collapsed in a bleeding mass at her side. Reno grabbed her arm and hauled her up.

"What are you doing?" he shouted. "I told you to stay down below!"

She pulled away. "Cloud. I have to get to him!"

An odd look passed across Reno's face as he released her. "He's…having some kind of fit. He-" The Turk stopped as the creature he'd just killed rose up, inexplicably healed. Reno put a new cartridge in the handgun and shoved Aeris behind as he began firing. When the monster fell once more Aeris pulled him around to face her. Her green eyes were resolute.

"I'm going up," she said coldly.

Reno swore, blasting at the monster that was just beginning to rise up again. "Fine," he rasped. "Go, and I'll cover you."

Aeris moved quickly, scrambling up the stairs on her hands and knees. Cloud, who had ceased screaming, was leaning against the doorframe of the door marked J-E-N-O-V-A, huddling with his arms around his legs. His blue eyes were terrified. Barret and Vincent were on opposite sides of him, picking off the creatures before they got too close.

Staying low to avoid the gunfire, Aeris crawled over to him. It disturbed her to see him like this; Cloud, always the epitome of bravado, was cowering in the corner like a child. She made her way close and touched his arm.

"Cloud." She spoke tersely. "What is it?"

His blue eyes strayed to her face. "What-what am I, Aeris?" he whimpered brokenly. "Why am I still here?"

She grasped him by the shoulders, wishing to say something encouraging, perhaps "be strong" would do. Instead, something completely unexpected burst out.

"Pull yourself together, Cloud. Get up now!"

He stiffened, pulling away. "You…too?" he whispered blankly.

Aeris grit her teeth. All around her, her friends were fighting for their lives. Before her eyes, the man she had once loved was afraid to face what he was. "Cloud! I'm not going to save you this time. This is something you need to handle by yourself."

Cloud's breath quickened. He stared at her as though he'd never seen her before. He swallowed. "Aeris, I-" Then he changed his mind and blurted out something else, an excuse. "Do you remember what they are? Do you remember the Cetra in the cages?" He put his face close to hers. "_Sentient life,_ Aeris?" 

She drew back in horror. Of course. All around them, Hojo's failed experiments battled with others who'd been controlled, manipulated, changed from their true form…

"Do you see, Aeris?" Cloud cried wildly. "I'm no better than them!"

Aeris tried to ignore him, tried to think. The Cetra in their cages had wanted to die. And these creatures were attacking her friends. She found her voice and addressed Cloud without looking at him.

"I can't judge you. I can't judge anyone," she whispered softly. "Cloud…it's really up to you. Do what you think is right, okay?" She started to get up, but Cloud grasped her arm.

"Where are you going?" He sounded frantic.

Aeris looked around for Reno and saw him fighting his way up the stairs. He and Elena were guarding Rude, who looked wounded. "I'm going to help the others." She jumped  up and hurried down the stairs. Cloud looked after her with something like shock.

When Aeris reached the point on the stairs where the three Turks were, she ducked down ad knelt beside Rude, who was sporting four long gashes on his left arm. Greenish coloring marred the edges of ripped flesh. Rude's face was pale. 

"Poisonous," he gasped while Aeris looked at the wounds. "Can't move…"

Aeris glanced up and saw Elena looking at her. "We have to get him out of here!" the blond Turk growled, fumbling to reload her gun. "But as soon as I take my eyes off these things-!" Even as she spoke, a webbed hand lashed out at her face. Elena backed up and fired rapidly.

Aeris nodded. "At the top of the stairs!" she yelled above the din. "It's clear there." She put her hands on Rude's shoulders and helped him to stand. Rude gasped with pain and nearly fell on her, but Aeris managed to brace herself enough to set them both upright. On her other side, she saw Reno watching them with apprehension.

"I've got him," she said quickly. "Clear the way."

Reno nodded and began backing his way up the stairs, blowing open every creature he came into contact with.

Aeris struggled to support Rude, who was on the brink of losing consciousness. Before she could take a step, however, another figure came up and grabbed Rude from the other side.

"Come on," Cid grunted. "If this pain-in-the-ass Turk dies, it'll only be because I killed him." With Cid doing most of the work, they managed to drag the big man up the stairs after Reno. 

"Where's Shera?" Aeris asked, knowing Cid had to be concerned about her.

"She's got Marlene to worry about," Cid grunted. "Yuffie's keepin' an eye on them." He paused. "Elena, too."

Aeris smiled slowly. "Oh, so you two are friends again?"

"Didn't say that. She's a loudmouth sassy bitch. But she's all right."

Finally they managed to get Rude up onto the landing, which was becoming crowded with Cloud, Vincent, Barret, the Turks, Aeris, Cid, Shera and Marlene. Cloud rushed over to help pull Rude onto the platform. 

"This was a brilliant idea," Cid griped as they huddled together. "It's a dead end!" 

"There's another door behind us," Vincent intoned. "It leads to another room."

"Yeah, so we can be trapped like rats in a cage!" Elena snapped. "Sufur didn't come through here. We were wrong."

Nanaki bounded up the stairs after them, the last of the crew. "We've got to get out of here," he panted. "There's too many!"

Yuffie, who'd been barely nicked by a creature's claw, was wavering on her feet. She grabbed Elena to keep from falling. "They can heal on their own," she said weakly. "Even when you shoot 'em in the head, after a minute it just gets up again."

"What?" Elena said tersely. "I've wasted all my ammo for nothing?"

Reno tossed her a cartridge of his own. "Not for nothing. Slow them down." Though he hadn't been touched by claws, he too looked spent. His voice was low and strained. 

Aeris spoke up suddenly. "It's the mako," she explained. "That's why it heals them." She glanced at Cloud. "Hojo's experiments." 

Cid looked at Cloud, about to ask his orders, but changed his mind at the sight of him. He coughed and studied the battle-weary gang. "Here," he said suddenly. "Get everyone who's injured in the back room. Vincent, Barret, anyone with a gun will stand by the doorway and pick off any of those bastards that get too close. The rest of us will hole up in back and try to find another way out." He seemed to half-expect Cloud to challenge his orders, but the blond man only leaned wearily against the back wall, closing his eyes.

Cid stepped over to the door. "Reno, c'mere and give me a-" As he placed his palm on the surface of the door, he let out a yell that caused Barret to stop shooting and whirl around. 

"Damn, Cid! You awright?"

Shera was already kneeling by Cid's side, trying to drag him away from the door, which seemed to have some kind of hold over him. Between grit teeth the others could hear him mutter, "It…burns…"

A troop of creatures, lying in wait for a break in defense, suddenly leapt onto the landing and attacked. Barret swore and began firing again as Marlene started screaming in fright. Over the din, the unearthly voice was speaking, but only Cid could really hear. He still could not move his hand from the door and began to scream and thrash as the voice assaulted his ears.

Then Cid's cries stopped, and Shera gasped. Those who could looked to see what was going on. Shera stood alone in front of the door, looking pale. Of Cid there was no sign.

"He's gone!" she cried wildly. "He fell through when it opened- but there's no other side! There's no room behind the door!"

Cloud crawled over to the entrance to look through, then immediately drew back. "I…can't," he whispered in horror. "It leads to…"

"I don't care where it leads!" Elena snapped. "It's better than here!" Supporting Rude, she flung them both through the doorway and disappeared from sight.

Reno waited, concern etched on his features. At first, silence, then a ragged yell from Elena. Swearing, Reno stepped to the door. 

"Wait!" Aeris clutched his hand. "Don't leave me." Her eyes were wide and her lips were trembling with the same unimaginable fear that had come over them all. But there was nowhere, nowhere else to go! One by one, the others were disappearing through the black depths. Yuffie, then Nanaki, and finally Shera, torn between her responsibility to Marlene and her loyalty to the Captain, finally screamed, "Cid!" and plunged into the blackness. Barret scooped up Marlene and went after her. With a low moan, Cloud dragged himself to the doorway. He glanced back once at Aeris, but rose up with a strange kind of dignity and staggered through. Vincent, left alone, no longer hesitated and followed the others with a swoop of his cape. It all happened so fast Reno could barely have blinked.

"Elena's in there," he said softly, backing away from the advancing demons. Aeris he eased behind him. "Rude. We have to go through."

Aeris compressed her lips. When she spoke, her voice was almost normal. "Together, then?"

He nodded. "All right. Come one." Pulling her by the hand, he took the leap at a dead run. He fell through infinity, seeing distorted images of the past flashing by, words spoken by voices he'd never thought he'd hear again. He saw himself surrounded by soldiers, laughing as they fired bullets into the limp body of Zack. He saw Rude, looking sightlessly out from his dark lenses, whisper, "I loved her, but couldn't take her from Cloud. How could Zack do it, if I couldn't?" He heard a frustrated Elena berate them both for drinking too much…

And then, other memories, new memories mixed in. Aeris and Tseng together, a farewell of some kind…Aeris trembling in Cloud's arms…a sword piercing through her middle, her form slumped over, lifeless…

Her hand tightened on his and Reno realized he was seeing flashes of Aeris' past, personal moments ripped from her life. She could see his, too.

It went on and on. Reno losing Heantha, Aeris losing Zack; Reno drinking steadily until dawn, Aeris' first meeting with Cloud…and then, finally, some intermingled images that could have come from either of them, including last night's bitter sadness neither had forgotten.

And now the images were coming faster and faster, too fast to comprehend, just a blur of color and sound. And then they were falling, falling through empty air only to land hard on some solid surface.

Coughing , Reno raised himself up on his elbow. He had lost his grip on Aeris' hand during the landing, and she was sitting up some yards away, one hand to her forehead. She looked up dizzily when he stepped over to her.

"You okay?" he asked, pulling her to her feet. 

She nodded, slightly breathless. "I..I think that had to be Jenova's doing. It was a setup, like she was waiting for us."

"Does that mean she's here, somewhere?"

Aeris shook her head. "I don't know. Maybe." She looked around, frowning. "Wherever we are, I don't think we're back yet."

Reno took the opportunity to thoroughly check out their surroundings. It seemed like some kind of garbage dump, with large piles of scrap metal dotting the terrain. But, now that he looked closely, he could see wooden structures dispersed through the mess: Human dwellings.

A sickening shudder passes over him. Somehow, the site seemed familiar, although he couldn't quite place it. Without thinking, he put his hand to his belt and drew his nightstick.

"Odd that it's night," Aeris said, sounding puzzled. She was squinted hard, staring off into the distance, as though trying to grasp something barely discernable. "It was still light out when we entered the reactor."

Then, Reno knew. He knew where they were even before he looked up. "It's not night."

"What?" Aeris turned to him quickly. "It's-"

He directed her gaze upward. Up above, a gigantic metallic structure obscured the sky, plunging the area in darkness for miles around. This was one place above ground where sunlight could not reach. It was said you couldn't grow flowers here in the slums of Midgar, they would simply wilt and die. Except, of course, for Aeris. In the church of the slums, she had made the flowers grow and flourish. Until a man in a suit trampled them out of ignorant maliciousness.

"Midgar!" she breathed. Then her gaze grew troubled. "But where…"

"Come on," Reno said harshly. He stepped onto a path between two enormous heaps of garbage, striding quickly. "We'd better get out of here."

Aeris followed, almost running to keep up. "Why? Is there-"

Reno glanced at her, then quickly away. "When Elena had that illusion, she came out of it bleeding." His eyes flickered upward. "When that plate falls, it's gonna hurt."

She understood, then. They were in the slums of Sector 7. The same sector Reno had destroyed with the swift touch of a button. That was why he was so quietly tense, so impatient to leave. When Reno detonated that bomb so long ago, he'd destroyed countless lives- including his own.

Jenova knew this, and had brought them here. Aeris' breath caught as she imagined what Reno had to be feeling, having to live this over again. She wished fervently there was a way she could help, a way she could wake them both from this nightmare of memory and imagination. But there was nothing she could do.

Reno stopped them in a small clearing before the gate of Sector 6. Up above a huge pillar stretched from the ground to embed itself within the circular plate. A winding flight of stairs curved around the pillar to a ramp near the top. And on the ramp…

"Cloud," Aeris whispered. "And Barret. But Tifa's not there."

He wasn't listening. "That pillar's the support structure for the plate above this part of the city." Reno spoke tonelessly, craning his neck to look up. "It's a rotten setup. All someone has to do is set up a decent time bomb, rigged so that it can be detonated by one man. That individual has to have basic knowledge of wiring and electricity, and also be able to fight off any outside interference-"

"Please stop," she begged, grasping his arm. "You don't need to remember any of this, Reno. It happened so long ago…"

He licked his lips and said in a low voice, "I know how this goes. In a minute I'm going to show up and detonate the switch. This entire sector and everyone in it will be crushed."

"No!" She came close to him, eyes flashing. "That's how it happened before. But this isn't the past, it's-"

"What is it then?" he countered angrily. "I'm not you, Aeris! I pressed the button, and I knew what I was doing. It was not an accident. Do you hear me?" She had started to avert her gaze in disgust, but he grabbed her arm and whirled her around to face him. "It was not a mistake, or an error of judgment. I set up the bomb myself. I knew exactly what it did."

"You were hurting inside," she protested weakly, unable to bear his accusing gaze. "You were desperate for a way out, and-"

"Do you really think you understand me?" he shouted. When she tried again to turn away he yanked her closer. He put his face close to hers and whispered, "I pressed that button because it was a simple choice: Sector 7 or me. One of us had to go. Guess which one I chose?" 

Her lips were white with trying not to scream or cry, it was unclear which. "You didn't do it for yourself," she whispered tersely. "You did it for your job. IT wasn't forced on you."

"Exactly!" he snapped, flinging her away. "No one held a gun to to my head and told me to do it. I did it myself." A spasm of coughing suddenly overtook him, and Reno hunched over, struggling to breathe. Aeris rushed toward him, but he shook his head and straightened, forcing the spasm back. 

"I don't know," he said much more quietly, "exactly when or why I started to regret it. Maybe it was when I got to know you all and saw things from the other side. Maybe it was when Shinra fell and I lost my job anyway. I don't know." His shoulders lifted in a small shrug. "Not that it matters. I can't do anything to change it now if I wanted to." He glanced up again at the plate. "That thing's going to fall. Same as last time."

Aeris stepped to him and searched his face. "How can you know?" she said quietly. "You've changed so much since then."

He looked away. "That's the thing, Aeris…I really haven't."

Even as he spoke, a thudding helicopter flew around the pillar. A figure jumped out. A tall figure in a blue uniform…

"Right on time," Reno said.

"No!" Aeris shrieked for the second time. She grasped him by the shoulders. "Let it go, Reno. It happened already. It's over!"

He shook his head, pain distorting his features. Quickly he pulled her to him and placed a soft kiss on her brow. He murmured something against her skin, she was not sure what. When he drew away he turned from her and was gone.

"Reno!" Aeris screamed, falling to her knees. "Where are you?"

He couldn't answer, he couldn't even hear her. The steel grating shook under his weight, but he wasn't even aware of that. He only saw one thing.

The panel was before him, roughshod and basic, but usable. Wires ran from it to the actual bomb, which was directly underneath the grating at his feet. In the center of the panel was the black button, the absurdly simple detonation device that would explode the structure and cause hundreds of people to die. 

Cloud and Barret were nearby, screaming at him to stop, but in his mind they weren't there. It was just him…and this. It was so incredibly simple. Just press the button, and the job will be done. That was all that mattered, after all. Just do the job, and forget about it. He was a Turk, and this was…this was his identity. 

In any case, he would be doing the people of the slums a big favor. They were unhappy, miserable people. They had no money, no food, no land. Their existence was pain and suffering. Didn't they want it to end? They'd done horrible things, too. He knew: There was no such thing as an innocent human being. Everyone was guilty of something, which was why no one was safe from the Sresla. By doing what he was afraid to do, he would take all their awful sins, their terrible burdens, and carry them for himself. He was delivering them from the horror they were living.

Besides, it was already too late for him. He had nothing left but his job, and to keep it, he would do this. He would do anything for his job.

In any case, what else was there to live for?

All this flashed through him in an instant. Without hesitating, without even thinking, he lifted his hand and brought it smashing down on the button. He thought he heard laughter…

The first reaction was, oddly enough, profound relief. He had been right all along, and it had been so easy, so ridiculously simple, that all the arguing and indecision of before seemed a waste of time. He'd been right; he'd known just how it would happen. Without hesitation, without thinking, he'd pushed the button, just as he'd told Aeris…

Only thing did he fully realize what he had done, Reno hunched over, grabbing the panel for support. He was shaking so bad he couldn't move. Aeris was down there, and he'd-

A meaty first grabbed him by the collar and hauled him up. "What they hell are you thinking?" Barret roared, aiming his gun. "You-you did it again!"

"I know!" Reno yelled back, wrenching himself free. He stumbled back into the control panel, knowing both Barret and Cloud were watching him accusingly. He tried to breathe, tried to give himself room to think, but there was a long buzzing in his ears that wouldn't go away. There was no more room for him to hide. He'd done it, and they had seen for themselves what kind of person he was, person he _still _was…

All he felt was Aeris' pitying gaze, her silent voice asking "Why?" And he didn't know. He didn't know why he'd had to do it, why he couldn't shrug off responsibility for everything he'd done, why he couldn't start over and forget, like everyone else could. He could only stare back at Cloud and realize they were two completely different people, fighting for two completely different reasons. And Aeris, Aeris was…he couldn't think.

"Answer me, goddammit!" Barret shouted, giving Reno a hard shove. "You even for us anymore? You even-"

"Stop it, Barret," Cloud said firmly, stepping between them. "There's got to be a simpler explanation. Reno?"

"Aeris is down there." Reno said weakly, not knowing how to even begin explaining himself. "I was just with her."

Cloud stopped, visibly confused. "You mean…she's-"

"I mean she's down there, with the plate about to fall any second!" Reno yelled at the top of his lungs. "She stayed because she didn't think I'd do it! She doesn't know!"

Cloud barely dodged a chunk of falling rubble, his face wracked by indecision. "I…I don't know what to do!" he cried, sounding frustrated and helpless. "I don't even know what's happening."

"Welcome to the club, Strife," Reno snapped, disgust warping every syllable. 

Cloud looked up at him and glared into his eyes. "I know," he said coldly. "I'm weak. But I'm no worse than you." He flung an arm out, indicating the slow destruction around them. "Look what you are! You're so fucked up you-" He broke off as the pillar shuddered warningly, barely keeping his feet. Reno himself grabbed onto the panel to stay upright.

Barret, forgotten by both, growled, "We need to get outta here." He hefted a heavy wire cable near the edge of the pillar. "We'll get out this way!" 

Cloud struggled to find control. "Yeah, we…it's the only way out. It should hold all of us, if we grab it right." He reached to grasp the cable with a gloved hand, but Reno grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back. 

"You can't." Thick desperation distorted Reno's voice. "She's still down there. When the plate-"

"What do you want me to do?" Cloud yelled helplessly. "What are _you _going to do? Are you going to save her, Reno?"

The pillar quaked again, now with menace. Reno let out a low moan and put his hand over his face. It was over. Everyone he'd worked for, everything he'd believed in was a lie. 

_And now, just let me die. Please let me die!_

Barret, scowling furiously, grabbed Reno by the collar and threw him roughly into the railing. "Listen, you," he growled. "I personally don't give a shit whether you live or die. But you owe us an answer." Reno started to pull away with a curse, but Barret stopped him. "You owe us that, at least!"

"It's going to blow any second," Cloud cried, hanging onto the wire. "We have to get out!"

"Come on!" Barret pushed Reno into the railing, but the Turk wasn't resisting. Silently he reached out and grabbed the cable, just above the base. Without waiting to see if he was ready, Barret kicked off the railing, not an instant too soon.

The force of the blast sent them spiraling away from the structure. Reno, clinging to the cable with a detached sense of reality, suddenly thought of Aeris, begging, "Don't leave me!" before he'd fallen through the door.

All at once he lose his grip on the wire and fell through the flames. There was a fleeting moment of pain, then, thankfully, empty blackness.

*                 *                 *                 *                 *                 *

In those long moments after he'd gone, Aeris' heart beat painfully fast. He'd left too quickly, she hadn't gotten a chance to speak to him, to tell him….

But, they were here. It was Jenova's doing, pulling Reno's most painful memory and making him face it. It was brutal, unimaginable torture, worse than any physical pain. There was no defense against something you'd done, even if you didn't want to think about it.

Her hand went to her forehead and she remembered the way he'd kissed her, as though he was trying to make up for a mistake he couldn't fix. She longed to see him again, offer words that might help him through the ordeal he was facing at that moment. But it was too late.

Her gaze fell up the pillar and she saw, very clearly, as Reno pressed the button. The distance was too great for her to see, but she felt his anguish plainly.

_I know what it is you feel, Reno, _she thought softly. _And I know why you did it. You hate yourself, now as much as you did then, and you want to torment yourself as much as possible, because you think you deserve it._

Up above, the pillar exploded in a column of flame. Very slowly, then faster and faster, the giant plate began falling toward her.

_But you shouldn't hate yourself, Reno, because I love you so much…_

Blinking back sudden tears, she had a thought. Love…perhaps that had been the answer that she had feared so before.

She had killed the last of the Ancients out of love. And she was about to die herself because of love. It was an odd feeling, to give yourself up completely for someone else…she wasn't even afraid anymore.

The plate was almost upon her now. Aeris closed her eyes. Jenova's clawed hand was reaching for her, grasping-

_Reno…_

_Don't be afraid…_

*                 *                 *                 *                 *                 *

         He recovered consciousness only after a few seconds, not even enough time to forget what had happened. Reno put his arm over his face with a ragged groan. For the first time in several months, he awoke wishing he was dead.

         "Reno." It was Cloud, sitting close by his head. "C'mon, I know you're awake."

         Oh, that was every reason in the world to bolt upright. Reno wiped a hand over his face and slowly opened his eyes. Cloud lingered over him, looking anxious.

         "Hey." Cloud leaned back as the redhead sat up. "We made it out okay." He paused. "Haven't seen anyone else, though."

Reno half-turned to look at him. He didn't want to know, but had to ask. "Then…she's…"

Cloud didn't answer.

Something, he wasn't sure if it was a curse or a scream, tried to force its way past the lump in his throat, but he swallowed it back. Slowly, painfully, he lurched to his feet and looked around.

They were in the slum outskirts of Sector 7, what remained of a children's playground. Barret stood by the swings, aimlessly pushing at one with his gun-arm. His face was contorted with grief.

Cloud got out of the way as Reno walked unsteadily to the wall of flames and metal- all that remained of Sector 7. Here was a mass graveyard of forgotten souls, everyone punished because of one man's mistakes. It was a sign of lost humanity, a symbol of failure. Everyone else was gone.

Cloud and Barret watched as Reno placed a hand on the solid wall of crusted rubble. Aeris was…his mind couldn't complete the thought, couldn't comprehend what he'd done. Everything she'd believed in had been a lie. There was no such thing as redemption. People can't change, ever. He'd been lost…ever since he pushed that button the first time, irrevocably lost. There was only one way things could go for him, and that was down.

"Reno." Cloud spoke hesitantly. 

But…why did the innocent always have to suffer? Why did the ones he cared for have to die first? Why…why hadn't he been able to save her? And why hadn't she tried to save herself? She hadn't wanted to go through the door in the reactor! Why hadn't she stayed away?

He knew why. She had followed him because…because she had loved him. She had loved him, and it killed her.

"History repeats itself," he said softly. Again and again, things were always the same. Like before, he'd pushed the button. Like before, he'd lost someone he'd loved. Like before, Aeris had thrown her life away for a hopeless cause.

His breathing had grown ragged. Reno closed his eyes and willed everything to be different, just for once in his goddamned life, for something to change. Let the time bomb malfunction, let her escape in time, them never to have met…

Something tugged on his arm. Reno opened his eyes to see everything around him was the same- the same miserable little park with the same ugly slide; the same twisted scrapes of molten metal; even Cloud's irritating presence hadn't changed a bit. 

"Come on," Cloud urged, trying to drag Reno away. "We have to get out of here." 

Reno was a good four or five inches taller than Cloud, and at the moment about twice as mean. He wrenched out of Cloud's grasp. "I'm staying here," he said quietly, "until something changes. If I leave, I might miss it."

This reply made no sense at all to Cloud, so he simply assumed the Turk was out of his mind and shrugged helplessly at Barret. It was beginning to look like the only way Reno would be moved would be to knock him out and tow him, and it was a likely possibility that Cloud and Barret might be severely hurt in the process. 

"Goddammit!" Barret yelled, stomping over to join them. "Marlene's gone. And I ain't gonna wait around for you. This is your own damn fault, an' you know it!"

"Shut up, Barret!" Cloud hissed, but Reno only shrugged, keeping his eyes on the remains of Sector 7.

Scrounging for a bit of hope, Cloud said faintly, "Reno, do you think there's any possible way she's not…not…"

"Seven hundred solid tons of steel alloy have come crashing down from almost a mile above the sector," Reno said patiently. "That plate is so huge it didn't even shatter on impact, which is why we can't get through. Would you like me to do it again to demonstrate?"

"Shu'up!" Barret snapped. "Go ahead, do it again! I bet your would if you could, you cold-hearted bastard! You were always in this for yourself, huh? You never gave a damn 'bout any of us, 'specially Aeris!"

For an instant, Reno looked furious enough to attack Barret. His eyes narrowed and he started to move toward him. Then, abruptly, his expression changed and he looked away, putting a hand over his face.

"I don't know…" he whispered softly. "Maybe that's true."

"You damn right, that's true!" Barret roared. "An' cuz of you-"

While Barret raged, Reno's face contorted and he whipped a hand to his jacket to pull out his handgun. With shaking fingers he cocked it and pointed the barrel at his accuser. "Do you remember what I am?" His voice trembled in the terrified silence. "I don't want to deal with you guys anymore. I'm through." He looked at them both, sizing them up. At last he sighed and turned to Cloud. "I don't know…what to do know. Just go, find Marlene. Stop Jenova, not that it's going to do the world any good. Do what you think…is-" He suddenly doubled over, coughing uncontrollably. Cloud rushed over to help if he could, but Reno backed away, shaking his head. When the spasm ended he wiped blood from his mouth and stood upright. He stared at the gun in his hand, smirked a little and put it back in its holster.

"Reno," Cloud said slowly. "I understand what you're feeling right now, but-"

Reno snorted. "Don't make me laugh."

"Oh, really?" Cloud's voice cracked in fury. "Do you think you're the only one who's angry and upset right now? Has it even occurred to you that I'm the only one who has a clue what you're going through?"

Reno narrowed his eyes but didn't answer.

"I lost her too," Cloud continued in a shaking voice. "Not once, twice. I was right there when Sephiroth stabbed her before my eyes! That's why I don't hate your rotten guts." Cloud coughed and wiped a hand over his eyes. "I've…I've been there too."

"That was different," Barret countered. "You didn't kill her that time. Like this miserable asshole." He jerked his head toward Reno.

Cloud shook his head. "No, I…I think it was just as much my fault as Reno's. I don't think he could have stopped himself in any case." He turned to the Turk. "Am I right?"

"How the hell should I know?" Reno muttered. He didn't know what was better- being a black-hearted killer all over again or a despondent weakling like Cloud. He didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to think about how he'd been stupid to trust in hope, how nothing had ever changed. If he thought about it, about Aeris' voice telling him she believed in him, then he would start to feel the wrenching agony his blockade of numbness had been holding at bay. Everything she had been, had symbolized for him had never existed…and now she was gone.

"Oh…God…" The words barely escaped his lips before he clamped down on a shriek that was forcing its way up from within. He covered his eyes and slid slowly to the ground, his back against the brittle structure of a children's slide. He did not move nor speak for several minutes.

Cloud was staring at the wall that was Sector 7, as though looking at it could make it not be real. Behind him he heard Barret suddenly yell, "What the hell do you want from us?" to no one.

_We've done it,_ he thought hazily, rubbing his hand absent-mindedly. _We've finally destroyed ourselves, just like they all said. But…_

"Let me try again," he murmured, not even audibly. "We can still win." Win what, exactly, he had no idea. Why fight Jenova for a dying piece of earth no one cared about, anyway?

He blinked once, and when he opened his eyes the scene had changed. Midgar was gone. In its place was a shattered reactor housing shattered people in its burnt-out shell. Barret looked around at the door he'd come through, mystified.

"Where are we?" he demanded, confusion making him angry. Reno, still slumped on the ground, did not answer or even appear to care. He did not look up. 

Cloud answered Barret's question. "Gongaga."

Over a short period, the rest of the party came straggling through the door. Elena was supporting a stricken Rude, who was still in pain because of his wound, and whatever they had seen. Cid had an arm around Shera, murmuring, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," over and over again. Shera held the hand of an openly wailing Marlene, who shrieked when she saw her father and ran to his arms. They all came, last of all Vincent, who emerged with a weary and troubled expression on his face. Cloud was relieved to see no more missing from their number. Only Aeris, it seemed, had…

He allowed them a few minutes to recover. He himself spoke to Cid about what he had seen, glancing now and then at the Turks. Elena had let out a pitiful sob at the sight of Reno, and now she had her arms around him as she alternatively raged and wept. Rude knelt beside them, a grimace of pain on his pale face, gripping Elena's shoulder as though afraid to let go. The three of them made a small circle on the ground as they spoke quietly of the memories and fears thrown at them in a vision.

And, gradually, inexplicably, as the rest of the group began to feel Aeris' absence and question it, a silence settled over everyone except for Reno, who was telling his story in a harsh and unnatural tone. He looked at no one as he spoke, but there was a grim and ironical smile in the set of his face that suggested he knew they were listening and didn't care.

"You can call it- what the hell's that term?- automatism," he concluded in a hoarse and weary voice. "It's over all over again." And still he smiled, daring someone to challenge him so he would have a focus for his pain and rage.

"What's- that – mean?" Yuffie ventured to ask when it was plain he would say no more. It was Vincent who answered.

"Automatism is a state of mind in which the person committing the act is unconscious or unaware of what is happening at the time," he said flatly. "Although in Reno's case, I would venture to suggest outside manipulation of some kind-"

Reno cut him short. "I did it on purpose, Vampy, aware or unawares," he said curtly. "Let there be no mistake about that."

Several members of the group appeared puzzled and indignant at Reno's statement, but no one dared to say anything. Yuffie began to cry silently, but the others seemed too far in shock to react.

Cloud closed his eyes, feeling sick. He turned away from the others and scanned the horizon. Only thick foliage and jungle noises reached his eyes, but he thought he could detect a foul stench on the horizon. The group badly needed rest, and Gongaga would just make everything worse. The place they were in was unsuitable, to say the least, but it was the only option.

"Someone start a fire," he said aloud. "We have to stop for now. Red, come with me to gather firewood." As Nanaki trotted toward him, Cloud looked over at Cid. "I know everyone's tired. But we need shelter. The tents are in the packs near the door." Cid nodded and stumbled forward, giving Shera's hand a last squeeze. Cloud turned to leave, glancing a final time at the circle of Turks. As he did, he noticed something.

Before entering the door in the reactor, the Sresla on Reno's hand had been a violent shade of blood-red. Now, unnoticed by anyone except perhaps Reno himself, it was scorched black. 

Author's Note

**         I'm sorry. You really thought this was a love story, didn't you? It's not- it's a story of psychological trauma, redemption- or lack thereof- and whatever's left over. Maybe it's love, but that remains to be seen. For now, drop me a line, a love note, or a vow of vengeance. For my part, I'll try to write faster.**

**             ~Lila**


	32. Tifa's Triumph

Chapter 31-

Tifa's Triumph

"There's one thing I can see…"

"What? Out with it!"

"I don't know, but I think, just like that, I can see it. But if I try to tell you, I'll make a hash of it. One day, when I'm in good form, I'll dance it for you."

~Nikos Kazantzakis, _Zorba__ the Greek_

Zack fled through the jungle as fast as his legs could carry him. He fell once, a gnarled root snatching him before he could dodge. The ground was muddy and moist, and he skipped trying to rise up, casting a terrified glance behind him. They were still in front of his eyes. People, his people, scattered in the mud, staring sightlessly at a dirt-colored sky…

Up again, head shaking away darkness and tears. He didn't know why there should be tears. He'd been gone from Gongaga for ten years, nearly eleven. A quick visit to his parents, after he'd escaped Professor Hojo's clutches, was all. He'd always hated the place anyway. Miserable little town…

He stopped short, gasping for breath. He hadn't been able to stop himself from searching the faces of the decomposing bodies, looking for Tifa. She hadn't been among them, a fact for which he would always be grateful. His home was destroyed. She was the last thread that kept him from falling into despair.

He passed a hand quickly over his eyes, willing himself not to sink into defeat. His body, though completely healed- he shuddered to remember the circumstances- was exhausted. He hadn't slept for two days, and he hadn't stopped moving for more than a few hours at a time. He needed rest, but he would not. Not until he found her. 

As he wearily staggered into motion once more, a far-off sound caught his attention. At first he couldn't make the connection, couldn't figure out what it was. Then all at once he understood and he _knew_, knew she was involved. Tifa needed him.

The sounds were the blasts from Sufur's shotgun. 

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

            Disembodied voices were jeering, coasting along a ribbon of hate that stretched from Hunter to Hunter. Men who had lost everything, they had forged a new place for themselves in a dying world- proof that they could still sustain control. There are different types of men when the world around them shuts down. Some, like Cloud, give themselves up to fate and allow themselves to be swallowed by its ravenous tide. Some fight against fate with every ounce of stubborn will their self-preservation can dredge up, regardless- or perhaps because of- how futile the struggle is. The Hunters, then, are this latter type of men.    

            And then there are women like Tifa Lockheart, who fight not for the sake of fighting, but for something else. Someone else. Futility has nothing to do with it. It is the trying that brings them fulfillment, the comfort it is for them. Tifa was a fighter, but she was also a thinker. And she thought before acting on that sunny morning in the forests outside Gongaga.

            She woke slowly. She had been knocked out by a blow to the head, and she would have slept for longer had not some heedless sense of urgency been pressing inside her skull. Her energy had depleted; she was completely fatigued, but she could not sink into sleep again now. Not with the jumbled thoughts in her head clamoring for her to arise and act.

            First, there were the others to think about. Zack was…Zack was hurt badly, but surely with them. Cloud and he had been at odds, but that was over now, wasn't it? And Aeris was trapped…n o of course she was fine she was with the others for sure. Zack. He was the one she had to worry about.

            No he wasn't. It came to her as she finally shook the oppressive curtain that clouded her memory. Sufur was the one to worry about, because he was an imposter. Or something. Rufus Shinra, still alive!

            Or maybe not. Maybe the vengeful man with the wild guffaw had killed the last Shinra already.

            Tifa twisted the edge of her shoulder in contact with frost-ridden earth. She was lying on her stomach on the ground, her wrists bound together behind her. The laughter and jeering of the course men was beginning to annoy her. She could taste gritty dirt in her mouth.

            A faceless voice from above called to her gently. "Hey. Lie still."

            She twisted her face up and focused blearily on the Hunter speaking. He was young, young and not bad-looking. A scar ran across one cheek, bright white lacerating tanned skin. He smiled at her.

            "Tifa Lockheart, isn't it."

            She twisted again; she could feel the rough rope at her wrists straining, but it didn't give. "Why?" she asked apprehensively. "What's it to you?"

            He knelt down close beside her, thumb running along the smooth blade of a dagger in his right hand. "You used to know my big brother," he told her quietly, a misplaced smile softening his eyes. "'Big' as in Biggs."

            She felt terrible she had to struggle to remember. "Biggs…from the original AVALANCHE?" Her voice was a creaky whisper.

            He nodded. "I doubt he mentioned me. I worked for Shinra. Only way to make money, you know, back then." His face turned hopeful. "Did he mention me? Little brother Stephen?"

            She shook her head back and forth wordlessly, the back of her head scarping the ground.

            He sighed. "Guess he never forgave me. He wrote me once, about you. Described you as tough and beautiful with great legs." Teeth flashed in a grin. "Sorry."

            "How did you know- who I am?" 

            The smile stayed, but the intonation altered a bit. "Rufus told us. He's told us a lot." A shrug. "I would too, if they were doing that to me."

            "Doing-?" She repeated slowly, like a dull child. She tried to raise herself up on her elbows, but slipped and had to try a second time. A tight circle of Hunters ringed around Darryn, who laughed the loudest. In their midst she could catch a glimpse of a familiar figure…

            "On the airship they called the group AVALANCHE, so I knew you were connected, though I didn't see you. That's why I helped Elena escape." Smiled again. "You want help, too?"

            This offer, made so charmingly and in all innocence from a boyishly young face, made her suspicious. "Can I trust you?"

            He laughed. "If it was an everyday situation and you ran into me at the supermarket, hell no, you couldn't trust me. But for now, what other choice you got?"

            Very true. "Come on then," she said impatiently, realizing she might not get another chance to catch them by surprise. "Cut these ropes."

            He complied, jerking the knife swiftly through the bonds and silently squeezing her hand- for encouragement, she supposed. As she stood he whistled with suppressed amusement.

            "He was right. Great legs."

            She cast him an irritated glare and knew he would not be much help. He had been with this band of crackpots for too long. He said he would help her escape, but he felt, as a human being, irrevocably _gone_.

            Still, he was all she had to rely on. "Do you have a weapon I could use?" Sure she had the pride of any martial artist, but attacking four men barehanded was freakin' nuts.

            He tossed her another, lighter dagger silently. She caught it by the dull edge of the blade and flipped it with a practiced twist of her fingers. A glimmer of anticipation lit her dark eyes, a gleam of bestial cunning. Days of frustrated helplessness had finally discovered a vent. Crouching low, she darted through the trees, her footfalls a whisper of sound.

            As she neared the crowd of men her pace slowed. Panting slightly with far more trepidation than exertion, she drew herself tightly against the trunk of a tree. Now that she was close enough, she was beginning to see what was really going on with Sufur- Rufus- and the Hunters.

            Long mid-morning shadows fell across the tight cluster of laughing men. Rufus was on his knees in their midst, facing away from her. Towering above him sneered Darryn, the leader, hunched over as he gripped Rufus by the hair. Tifa was at the perfect angle to see his blissful smile while he clouted Rufus over and over in the face. The victim, a perfect martyr for Jenova's cause, did not cry out. Tifa didn't know if it was because he'd screamed himself hoarse or if he'd blacked out. She had no idea how long they'd been at this.

            Long enough. She poised the knife in her hand, sucked in a breath and threw it as hard as she could. Every ounce of hatred and rage she'd been holding in went into the shot.

            She saw a flash of steel skim past the top of Rufus' head; she hadn't meant to hit him anyway, but perhaps she unconsciously felt justified for all he'd done to her. She lost sight of it then, and for a moment she was certain she had missed. Darryn's grin never faded, until a brief millennium later he released Rufus and stumbled backwards a few steps. His hands fell to his stomach, where a widening splotch of blood was beginning to blossom. Before collapsing, a floating expression of absolute terror shadowed his face, and then he fell.

            The Hunters were on their feet in panic. Tifa was about to rush them in their state of confusion when Stephen spoke by her ear.

            "You're insane." 

            Her wrathful tone caught him by surprise. "Are you going to help me or not?"

            He recovered quickly and smiled, shrugging helplessly. "You're a vengeful lady."

            Without waiting for him, Tifa leapt into the fray. She caught one of the three Hunters from behind and used a sweeping kick to knock him off his feet. Moving quickly, she crawled on top of him and dealt him four powerful blows in the face. He struggled, and she rolled off of him and fled to the safety of the trees again.

            Shotgun blasts followed her path. She threw herself into the underbrush and saw one of the other Hunters holding Sufur's shotgun. He fired frantically at her hiding-place while Stephen grappled with the third Hunter.

            The one she'd attacked was sluggishly starting to get up. Tifa waited until the man with the shotgun turned his attention on Stephen before creeping out again. She tackled the man she'd knocked down before and wrapped her arm around his neck in a twisted headlock. With her other fist she punched him in the face repeatedly.

            When he finally stopped moving she pushed him of her. He lay on the ground, groaning, but she paid him no more mind and searched out the trees for Stephen. Before she found him another blast from the shotgun struck nearby. She jumped up and ran behind a few trees, scanning the scene.

            She finally saw him on the ground some distance from the other Hunter he'd killed. Half of Stephen's head had been torn away by the shotgun blasts. 

            She looked away quickly and tried not to be sick. There was, then, only one Hunter left- the one with the shotgun. And she had no chance against him. Rufus wasn't moving at all- she did not know if he was even alive. The only usable weapon was embedded in the stomach of Darryn- and he was still alive, she could tell by his feeble moans.

            She tried to leave her hiding place to get to him, but jumped back after nearly being hit by an erratic shot. If only she could leave the Hunter away so she could grab the knife!

            "Hey!" she yelled desperately. "You want me? Come get me!"

            The man- in the sun's blinding glare she couldn't see his features clearly, just knew he was a man- edged forward. Tifa jumped back a few steps, ducking behind a tree just as he fired again. Not bothering to brush woodchips from her hair, she laughingly called out a challenge.

"Is that your best shot? You've _got _to be kidding."

This time, when he fired again, she turned and began running as fast as she could. More shots followed her, but she trusted to luck and didn't look behind, twisting among the trees for protection. She edged to the right as she went, forming a wide circle and slowly doubling back behind where she'd left the bodies. She kept running, although she could no longer hear shots and wasn't sure if she had already lost the Hunter.

Finally, spent, she spotted the clearing she'd just abandoned. Sufur lay on his stomach among them. Deciding to let him be for now, she crept over to the still-breathing form of Darryn.

His sunken eyes followed her approach. As she knelt down to grasp the dagger that protruded from his middle, his hand snaked out and grasped her wrist.

"Whose side are you on?" he croaked in a whisper, eyes glittering feverishly. "You can't be on _his_?" She saw by his gaze that he meant Rufus.

"I'm on my own side," she said curtly, trying not to feel sickened. "And it looks like I won."

He released her then, with frightened eyes. She dug the knife out quickly and turned her back on his scream of pain. 

As she turned, she caught sight of her Hunter trudging wearily back into the clearing. Gripping the slippery knife, she ducked out of view and waited.

As she watched, the man looked around at the bodies surrounding him and shook his head. Hefting the gun, he fired a few cursory shots into the trees before he was clicking on empty air. The gun had run out of ammunition.  

Swearing, the man turned his back and rifled through Rufus' coat, searching for more ammunition. Seizing the moment, Tifa leapt out of the trees and rushed him.

He whirled around just as she fell on him, stabbing him in the shoulder. He cried out and tore from her grasp, catching her on the side of the head with the shotgun. She fell to the ground, trying to regain her senses. 

As he raised the gun again to finish the job, a new form reared up behind him. Tifa looked up to see a huge sword cutting the man down.

"Zack?" she whispered tremulously.

He turned to her with a smile, wiping the blade clean on the grass. "I was supposed to stay with the others, I know," he said, almost sheepishly. "But I guess I wanted to see you."

She threw her arms around him, unable to comprehend his being real. His voice, his touch had been all she'd wished for, and now he was here. He was hers again.

"I'm sorry I took so long," he whispered softly, stroking her matted hair.

She drew back just enough to wipe her eyes with shaking fingers. "I thought…it seems like a dream now…weren't you hurt?"

He nodded. "It's a long story. The reactor was- pretty heavy."

Her throat caught and her arms tightened around him, unwilling to remember that horrible place. It had been there she had been confronted by her conflicted feelings for Zack and Cloud- but she wouldn't think about that. Cloud was not here. It was just she and Zack.

"Looks like you were doing pretty well on your own, though," he said, laughing a little. "Who were these guys?"

She remembered their situation and reluctantly released him, though every instinct in her body yearned to stay enfolded in Zack's arms forever. "The Hunters," she murmured softly. "Men searching for Rufus Shinra." She paused, then added, "They finally found him."

He blinked. "What are you saying?"

Patiently, knowing he was on the worse side for emotional stress and lack of sleep, she took his hands and led him over to where the unconscious figure of Sufur lay facedown. Rufus Shinra, in Sufur's clothes, at their mercy. Zack sank to his knees and with Tifa's help rolled the limp form over. 

Tifa waited for Zack's inevitable violent cursing, but it didn't come. Instead, looked more closely at the figure, scrutinizing, squinting at the face, naked except for caked layer of red. Then she understood.

"It _is _him," she insisted. "I know it's hard to tell under all the blood, but it's him. The…the man knew and that's why he cut him up. Because he knew it was Rufus…" Her voice trailed off.

Zack shook his head. "No matter who he is. He's dead, or close enough to it."

"He's _not_ dead!" she retorted, shocking herself with her own vehemence. "He didn't die before, and he won't die now!" She dropped to her knees beside Zack and with trembling fingers felt for the pulse at Shinra's throat. As she touched him Rufus' eyes slid open a fraction, brilliant blue against all the red, and he watched her. His breathing labored, he tried to speak, but the effort failed him and he gave up, contenting himself with mere consciousness. Tifa, smiling triumphantly, relaxed her touch on his throat in a gesture that was an unmistakable caress.

Zack knew he was witnessing something he didn't understand, and it angered him. Rufus Shinra was someone they both hated, and here was Tifa acting almost like she _wanted_ him to live.

"What happened here?" he demanded, unable to keep the infuriation from his voice.

Tifa looked up then and placed a fluttering kiss on Zack's brow. "I'll explain it all later," she whispered tenderly. "After we get him somewhere safe."

She seemed different. Even after all the agony, the torment and despair, underneath the sweat and tangled hair she was radiant. In fact, she had never looked more beautiful. Zack couldn't say for sure, but in the days they had been separated, some kind of change had come over her. In fact…she seemed happy, truly happy, for the first time in weeks.

The impact of what she said sank in. "Tifa," he said in horror. "You can't mean that."

She had turned back to Rufus and was speaking softly to him, words Zack couldn't hear. "I won't leave him," she said over her shoulder.

Unable to control himself, Zack grabbed her by the arm and yanked her up, dragged her away a few paces. He couldn't speak privately to her with those blue eyes watching.

"Just what the hell's going on here?" he whispered furiously. "I don't know how or why Rufus is here, but you hate him, remember? We all do! And besides- kidnapping you at gunpoint? Threatening you? _Manipulating_ you?" His eyes searched hers, and what he saw made him pull her closer. "Don't I mean _anything_ to you?" he asked plaintively, hating to humble himself like this.

Tifa softened. She took one of his chaffed hands and kissed it, never letting her eyes leave his face. "You've been through so much," she murmured. "So much for me. You deserve some time to rest. I want you to tell me everything." Her grip tightened on his hand. "But not yet. It's unfair, but we can't rest yet."

He jerked his head toward Rufus. "What about him?"

"I won't leave him," she repeated. "I can't."

"He's dying anyway!" Zack nearly shouted. "You can't save him, Tifa. No one can. And after what he did to you…"

She would not be moved. "I want to try."

Zack sighed; he knew he would refuse her nothing. He didn't understand, and maybe he never would. Maybe he had already lost this beautiful, strong, incredible woman. If he had ever had a chance with her at all.

He swallowed it all back, to be brave, and asked, "Well, how can I help?"

She smiled then, and began to lead him back to Sufur. Then she stopped, looked at him tenderly as though he'd said something, and quietly said, "Don't worry so much, Zack. You know I love you."

**~And now, a word from the author!~**

**Spare me the cruel words. I know, I know I'm late. However-  Isn't it about damn time we got this fic off the ground?**

**Look for more RtP chapters in quick succession, because I think I want this to be a grand monument to my career, not a slovenly project. So, with your ideas and feedback, let's hurry up and finish the final quarter, going out in a melodramatic finale! Don't lose faith yet!**

**  
Love and kisses, **

**Lila**


	33. Silence Before Thunder

**Chapter 32-**

**Silence Before Thunder**

"Upon the bank, she stood  
In the cool  
Of spent emotions.  
She felt, among the leaves,  
The dew  
Of old devotions."

---Wallace Stevens

There was no moon that night, only an empty hole in the sky obscured by dark clouds. Shadows upon shadows hid the scattered tents, encompassing them in stifling heat. This, this was the blackest night any of them had ever seen, and it wouldn't end.

Elena, drenched in sweat and suffocating, could not sleep. She was exhausted beyond all words, but something kept her from drifting off. Maybe it was the memories that had resurfaced in the vision from the reactor that day. Little things she'd never thought she would have to face again: her childhood; her loneliness; her early days as a Turk; Tseng. Oh, God, Tseng! Hot as it was, she buried her face under her pillow so as not to wake Shera with her great gasping breaths. Another woman might have sobbed, but Elena could not cry now. She only cried when emotion overcame her suddenly, a brief storm that quickly passed. She had wept when news of Tseng's death first reached her, but never again for him. Here, now, with this great pulsating sorrowful weight of regret and dread, she could only hide her face and pant, waiting for it to pass.

At length it did. Slowly, she untangled herself from her bedding, flailing when it seemed she would be trapped forever among the sheets. When at last she was free she hesitated, listening to Shera's quiet breathing. The mechanic was asleep. Satisfied, Elena slipped to the entrance and opened the tent flap.

The jungle welcomed her, its heavy air clinging to her flushed skin. She breathed deeply and coughed, detecting foul smells. She didn't want to guess as to their origin. Gongaga lay silent in the distance, a great monument to unthinkable horror. She would face it tomorrow.

_No more of this,_ she decided with resolution. _When I'm through here I'm going to settle down, go to the beauty parlor once a week, paint my nails. Get married, for God's sake! I've had enough mucking around in the dark._

She didn't want to consider the improbability of anyone wanting to marry an unfeminine, bossy woman in her thirties, one who was a Turk besides. She didn't let it occur to her that beauty parlors might very well not exist anymore now that the world was ending. She stepped outside, shivered once though the night was warm, and padded in the dark to another tent.

"Rude!" she hissed loudly, sinking to her knees in the mud. "Reno!" She waited a fraction of a second. "Come on, you two!"

Another minute passed and she was certain they either didn't hear her or were maliciously ignoring her. Refusing to sound plaintive and admit she needed them, she raised her voice and cried, "That's it, I'm going to bed right now if you don't answer me!"

Her own voice had startled her and now she sat back on her haunches, abashed. All was silent. For the first time she noticed how heavy and oppressive this place was, the jungle. It would lure her in and devour her greedily, and who was she to fight it? What a ridiculously weak, frail thing a lone woman was. Some unknown terror could slip out of the night, snatch her away with Death's great drooling jaws, and none of them would ever know what happened to her.

Stupid. Incredibly so. And yet the more she allowed her mind to dwell on it, the more she certain she became that the night was full of ravenous eyes belonging to beasts whose insatiable hunger could only be quenched if they seized her now, tore her soul from her body and swallowed it raw…

"You guys!" she positively screamed, covering her head in her arms.

The tent flap opened and Rude crept out, rubbing his eyes with his fist. He closed the flap behind him. "For Christ's sake, Elena," he whispered. "Calm down!"

She sat up, forcing herself to stop shaking. She wouldn't excuse herself, tell him she'd been frightened. Now that another human being was with her, her previous fears seemed silly. Harmless.

"You okay?" he asked, looking at her carefully. He knew her well and it was an unusual thing for Elena to be silent.

She clenched her teeth and ignored him. "Where's Reno?"

"Asleep," Rude murmured, sinking slowly on the ground. He reached out, grabbed her by the arm and pulled her toward him. "Sit here."

She was surprised but understood; as she sat close to him she felt a certain comfort, the kind that can only be derived from a fellow person one knows and trusts. She was beginning to feel, finally, a little safe, even if she dreaded tomorrow.

"He's asleep?" she repeated, doubtfully. Reno hadn't slept more than two hours at a time for the past week.

Rude nodded. "Soon as the tent was set up. He went in and collapsed without a word. Like he was comatose."

She sighed, closing her eyes and reopening them. "I wish there was something I could do," she said softly. "I'm worried."

Rude said nothing, but she knew what he was thinking. He was afraid, not of some nameless terror like she was, but of something more tangible: losing his best friend.

"He'll be okay," she said hastily, to reassure herself as well as her silent companion. "He's made it this far, hasn't he? He'll be fine." When no acquiescence was forthcoming she grew angry. "Rude! Answer me! He'll be fine!"

"I didn't tell you before." Rude spoke suddenly, not looking at her, but somewhere out in the darkness. "While we were setting up the tents, he vomited blood." He paused, then went on, speaking faster, words rushing forth like waves spilling onto shore. "Not a little bit, Elena. A lot. He didn't say anything and neither did I, but he's really sick-he's dying! The best friend- the only friend- I ever had is dying, and I can't do a goddamn thing. All I can do is watch." His voice broke and he slumped, unable to say more, exhausted. And yet she could feel his resolution, plainly. If Reno could not go on the next day, neither would he. Rude would never go on fighting and leave Reno behind. It didn't matter whether she was there- she may as well not even exist! It was Reno and Rude who were linked, inexorably. If one fell, so would the other. She would lose them both.

Elena's eyes were burning and she realized she was clenching her fists so hard her nails dug into her sweaty palms. She took a great gulp of air and found it scorching, suffocating. "He's not dying," she insisted in a strangled voice. "He's not, so don't you dare say it again. Do you hear me?" She was yelling now, half-hysterical, trying to stumble to her feet, but she was too weary and nearly fell over. "Do you hear me, Rude? I won't let you give up! Understand? He's not dying, and neither are you!"

From a few yards off an exhausted Cid Highwind hoarsely shouted, "Shut the hell up!" Otherwise, no sound broke the air.

Rude stared at Elena, at her heaving chest, the tears coursing down her cheeks. Her brown eyes wild and her lips trembling- this was Elena! He blinked once then, covering his astonishment, reached up and took her hand.

"Come here," he said roughly, and she finally allowed herself to give way, sobbing now, burying her face in his shoulder like a child. She had no idea why she was so distressed- in fact, she was crying harder now, and she was so ashamed! Whenever before she had been upset, it had been Reno who comforted her, not Rude. At least, not like this. A large awkward hand running over her knotted hair, his breath hot and fast close to her ear, the muscles in his chest tensing beneath her body. No, Rude had never before touched her like this, and she knew he never would again.

He wasn't like Reno, who knew how to be gentle. No, Rude, who was unused to women, held her clumsily, too tightly, unable to see because of the dark. And he was less than calm himself; his voice sounded strained and abnormal. "Reno will be fine," he croaked, obviously disbelieving his own words. "You'll see. You'll see, honey."

Rude saying "honey" in so harsh and unnatural a tone almost made her laugh, but she was breathless and could only squeeze him more tightly, mutely grateful. Here, she didn't have to be strong. Here, she was a woman, not a Turk. Just a woman. She wanted to stay like this forever.

But as soon as he felt her relax Rude released her and pulled away, wiping a hand over his face in a valiant effort to regain composure. He had to swallow repeatedly before speaking.

"Jesus, I'm sorry, Elena."

She wanted to shout at him for being sorry after he had made her feel, for a few seconds, so inexplicably happy. But a wall had come between them; she couldn't speak. Rude was looking at her, uncertain, and she felt she had to justify herself, so she made an effort and said, "I think this was the worst day of my life."

He nodded slowly. "You can say that again. We never should have gone through the reactor."

She shuddered, remembering.

_After falling through the door in the reactor, they had been in a clearing, a place she didn't recognize, a memory that wasn't hers. There were two strange men watching them, and one of them placed a gun in Rude's hands and told him to use it._

_"Again?"__ Rude said softly, with a look in his eyes Elena would never forget. "Wasn't once enough for you, you bastard?" _

_Elena, bewildered, started to ask what was going on, but her voice failed her. Then one of the men grabbed her and began to haul her off. She tried to fight, tried kicking and biting, but her arms were immobilized; she could not move. "Rude!" she'd screamed. "Help me!"_

_He just stood there, staring at her as though she was a stranger. He was shaking, she was shocked to see, sweat shining on his face. Some kind of internal struggle was going through his mind, but she would never know what. As she watched, paralyzed, the man holding her prisoner smiling diabolically, Rude suddenly raised the gun in his hands and fired. She felt warm blood gushing down her throat and was terrified._

_"Elena!" _

_Rude ran up to her, an expression of horror on his face, but it was the man behind her that he had hit. She turned and saw him slide wetly to the ground, a hole in his forehead. _

_Rude didn't look at him, though, and ran his hands over her body, checking for injuries, ignoring her rapid questions. When he was sure she was all right he embraced her tightly, and she was appalled to find he was still shaking._

_"I missed," Rude kept saying. "Thank God I missed!"_

Elena coughed softly, wishing she hadn't brought it up. Rude hadn't wanted to talk about it when she questioned him. "It happened a long time ago," he had told her. "It doesn't matter."

It did matter, she knew now. Any memory that could make staunch, implacable Rude visibly frightened had to matter. Reno's illusion had mattered- a person had died because of it. It was so hard for her to believe it was true, but it was. "Aeris is gone," she said aloud, trying to distract herself. "I don't understand it."

Rude cast her a wary glance. "I stopped understand things a while ago."

He didn't want to discuss it, but she did. "It just seems strange," she whispered. "She's gone, but it didn't happen here. It's like she never existed."

"Drop it, Elena," Rude said warningly. "I mean it."

Frustrated, she snapped, "You never want to talk about anything, Rude. She died today! She died, and you want to pretend it didn't happen! Why don't you stop pretending, for once?"

Usually patient, Rude finally lost his temper. "Shut up!" he yelled, looking furious enough to strike her. "Goddammit, don't you ever stop talking?" Abruptly he fell silent, ashamed. His face drained of emotion and became a mask again. "I'm sorry, Elena," he said for the second time that night.

She nodded silently, unwilling to speak. Rude was rarely angry with her, but when he was, it affected her.

Rude coughed, then suddenly started talking. "It's not your fault. It's- it's just this. When Reno told us, I couldn't believe it. Up to now, I never really thought anything could happen to any of us. But Aeris is dead, and now I'm starting to realize Reno could die soon, too. Tifa…" He broke off, hesitated, and continued, "Something's happening to us, and every day I wait for the ax to fall."

"Rude, please," she pleaded, wanting him to stop talking. His voice was awful to hear- toneless and empty. "That's enough."

He shook his head. "Don't you see? After I found out Aeris was gone, I realized I could have lost you just as easily. I could have killed you today, by accident, just like Reno did with Aeris! A couple of inches was all that saved you."

"It was you," she countered, trying to forget Rude's frightened look after he'd fired the gun. "You saved me."

He was still shaking his head. "Let's just…not talk about it anymore."

"Okay."

The day had been far too painful, for all of them. And she kept forgetting that Rude was not like her, that when he was disturbed he became taciturn and stoic. Elena, on the other hand, suffered if she didn't talk about things that bothered her. As though he'd read her thoughts, Rude said, "We'll talk about it someday. Just not tonight."

_Because tonight might be our last_, she couldn't help thinking with a shiver. How morbid, but how completely true. This could be the last time she talked quietly with her closest friend in the shelter of night. Thinking of this, she put out a hand to touch his shoulder and her fingers encountered rough cloth, tightly coiled over the entire upper arm. Rude's wound from the monsters in the reactor. "I completely forgot," she said in astonishment, remembering the agony he'd gone through mere hours ago. "Does it still hurt?"

He stared at her for a long moment, an unreadable expression in his eyes. Finally he smiled, such a rare thing for him. "Not so much anymore."

She shook her head. "You were nearly delirious before we went through the door," she murmured. "I was scared to death!"

He was still staring at her, and she suddenly felt warm, too warm. Turning her head away slightly, in order to breathe, she made herself force a laugh. "It has been a shitty day," she reemphasized, as though he'd argued with her. "Hey, you still have that flask? I really could use a drink."

She turned back to him and saw he'd frozen. He was looking sightlessly away from her again.

"It's been empty since yesterday."

She should have been angry, infuriated beyond words. But now she only felt a deep, profound weariness and regret she couldn't place. She had, in a brief moment of forgetfulness, allowed herself to nurse a slight, desperate hope. Never would she consciously formulate this hope into words and thoughts; it was far too precious for that. But it had been there, and when Rude said those words it fluttered for an instant, then fell and died.

"So," she said in a tremulous voice, "you're still thinking about her…Tifa?"

Rude hesitated for a moment, then nodded slowly.

He was embarrassed, Elena realized. He wouldn't have admitted that to anyone else, not even Reno. Everyone knew that Tifa had been torn between Cloud and Zack, but she belonged to one of them, that was certain. And still Rude pined after her, even though she noticed nothing! The hopeless yearning for a woman far beyond his reach had been with him for so long that he did not know how to let it go. It was an integral part of him; maybe he couldn't. Tifa was all he wanted, and thoughts of her plagued him at night. That was why the flask was empty.

Elena understood all this in an instant- she knew him so well! And she pitied him, for she could understand, better than anyone else. Hadn't Tseng haunted her for so long until she finally, finally was able to let him go? She pitied him- what else could she feel for her friend?

Sighing a little, she slid down and leaned her head against the shoulder she had wet only a few moments before with her tears. After a minute, Rude put his arm around her and they sat still like that for quite a long time. Before meeting Rude, it would have been unthinkable to Elena to sit quietly for more than a minute or two. But after becoming a Turk, she had learned to endure and finally enjoy companionable silences with Rude. Likewise, Rude had learned to become less taciturn and actually volunteer sentences while spending time with the sociable Elena. They understood each other.

"Rude?" Her voice was thick. She was almost asleep.

"What is it?" He'd been thinking; his voice gave it away. He was always slightly testy when his thoughts were interrupted.

"I'm glad I can talk to you."

"Me, too." And, gentler than his words, he squeezed her hand once, then let it go. She was asleep.

**A Note from the Author**

**A mini-chapter that, I believe, helps remind us all of the central themes of RtP. Please let me know how you interpreted this- I worked very hard to make it symbolic of the whole story. Why choose Rude and Elena? They're complete ying and yang when it comes to coping, but they're still there for each other. Plus they're two favorite characters I haven't had a chance to work with much.**

**Oh yes- the flashback of Rude's illusion was a nod to _Wasted_, my other story. (Sorry, couldn't help myself) But it fit, so I threw it in.**

**Obviously this chapter is a mere prelude to the soon-to-come major battle crazy scenes; hence the title. If I bored you, I'm sorry- it's a mini-chapter.**

**Thank you all for the patience, and let's bring this sucker home!**

** Lila**


End file.
